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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25788874">and i'm tangled up in you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JMoonrise/pseuds/Sapphic-Mia'>Sapphic-Mia (JMoonrise)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supergirl (TV 2015)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - No Powers, Best friend's little sister, F/F, Humor, Romance, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:48:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>113,048</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25788874</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JMoonrise/pseuds/Sapphic-Mia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Tell me you didn’t?” Sam lowers her voice to a whisper, judgment dripping from her tone as she glares at Lena. </p><p>Lena’s brow creases with confusion. “Didn’t what?”</p><p>“Sleep with Alex’s <i>little</i> sister.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, minor Alex Danvers/ Samantha "Sam" Arias</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>841</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2425</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm being self-indulgent. I've got so many ideas in my notebook, and this one has been plaguing me for the better part of a week. I had to write it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Her first thought is that it’s really warm, which is quickly dismissed with the dawning awareness that her hand is wrapped around— she lightly squeezes with an explorative touch— a boob. </p><p>Lena is no stranger to mornings like this after her college years, but she also lacks any recall of the previous night. </p><p>Stuck on her growing mountain of problems at home, she decided the perfect way to celebrate her introduction to paradise was to celebrate with a drink at the bar. <br/>
<br/>
The goal was to forget about work and the responsibilities required of her, her mother and her constant meddling into her private affairs. It rarely bothered her, but recently all of the efforts to set her up have rubbed her the wrong way. The action itself comes from a place of love, however there’s a lack of faith tied to it. And that’s where Lena loses the plot. At twenty-six, she’s young, maybe not as spritely as she once was, but she’s not ready to be put out to pasture. </p><p>Overall, the day was a wash from the start with boardroom disagreements branching into arguments as she laid down the law to R&amp;D disregarding her wishes and moving forward with orders from the board, ending with the flight from hell that had her fingers digging into the arm rests and her eyes squeezed shut, lips mouthing a silent prayer. By the time she stepped on solid ground again, all she wanted was to sink into the sweet oblivion of alcohol. </p><p>After dropping her belongings in her room, she marched down to the nearest bar and ordered the most expensive scotch, asking the bartender to open a tab. She was going to drink away her troubles-- push them to the blurry edges of her mind to find some sort of reprieve. The few drinks she downed on the plane to settle her nerves had faded and Lena needed something stronger to erase all traces of her day.</p><p>Concrete memories end there and it’s mostly flashes of hazy lights, snippets of guitar strings, and the fuzzy outline of a stranger with blonde hair and then those images fade away until she’s back in her hotel room— not alone.</p><p>Her hands were tangled in golden waves, mischievous impossibly blue eyes stared up at her as a tongue curled into her, doing all sorts of things that made her toes clench and her brain short circuit. There was the warm, gentle weight of another body pressed tightly to hers, the salacious pleasure rising inside of her until the pressure became too much and she erupted, losing all control as she finally gave in— her senses and the pleasure she vividly remembers.</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">The few memories she has before things became a little foggy provide very few details about what transpired. She vaguely remembers the blonde and striking a conversation with her, but after that it’s almost like staring at the pages of a blank book.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">The details are somewhere in her mind, scattered and fragmented, reminiscent to that of an unfinished puzzle. Despite details floating through her mind, the name of her companion escapes her and the longer she lays there, the more her anxiety starts to spike. Lena runs through some mental exercises, struggling to control the churning in her stomach like milk. <br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">Not since her college days when she roamed around wile and free has she done something reckless. There were a few one night stands over the years since finishing her undergrad, but these days she’s mostly celibate, preferring her own company to that of other’s.</span>
</p><p>In retrospect, Lena should have finished her second drink and closed her tab, returning to the hotel and her room without company to prevent this exact scenario from occurring.</p><p>Going out last night was for the sole purpose of blowing off some steam, not releasing all of it. </p><p>Her fingers twitch and contract as her nerves continue to grow. She inhales and slowly exhales, trying to relieve some of the tension coiling in her belly. The only way for the situation to worsen is if her companion wakes up and realises exactly who she is. Lena’s had her share of people looking for payouts, willing to exploit her in the worst ways possible.</p><p>She has to mitigate the situation as best as she can. Her first step is to extract herself from the woman cuddled softly into her. In a single fluid movement, she manages to slide her arms out from around her bedmate, silently rejoicing at her achievement. Untangling her legs requires a little more effort as she scoots herself further away.</p><p>Her moment of cheer is cut short when she runs out of room on the bed and falls into a heap on the floor.</p><p>”Fuck!” She cries out when her head smacks the edge of the night stand. </p><p>Her body is splayed on the floor, as naked as the day she was born when a blonde head pops into her line of sight. Lena blinks away floating stars and waits for her vision to clear.</p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>Color rises to her cheeks at the genuine concern from the other woman. “Uh yeah… K-k-Kira?” She frowns when the name slips free, knowing instantly that it’s not right. Lena wants to take it back, to apologise, but it is too late for any of that. </p><p>She’s mucked this up and would only make an even bigger blunder if she tried to fix it. It’s bad enough that she’s suffering from the indignity of falling out of bed <em>naked</em> and to top off an otherwise shitty week, she’s called her one-night stand by the wrong name. </p><p>The blonde doesn’t correct her, instead she smiles tightly, averting her eyes as she slides out of bed on the opposite end. “Right um… I should go.” She gestures to the door, a dark rose blush dusting her cheeks.</p><p>The alcohol made conversation flow easier between them from what she can remember and what she has pieced together in the last few minutes.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Normally she was reserved whilst out, preferring to keep her own council, but there was something about the blonde that was enticing. The words came easy and the laughs followed quickly. And then came the other stuff.</span></p><p>The rustling of fabric catches her attention, so she peeks her head over the edge of the mattress, using the bed as fortification, silently watching as the blonde quickly dresses. </p><p>Her mind cycles through a few of last night’s replays, unzipping the white eyelet dress, her lips trailing across sun kissed skin, muscled thighs tightening as she buries her fingers in the girl, thrusting deeper as the girl’s cries filled her ears, pleading for her to continue.</p><p>Being the coward that she is, Lena chooses to keep her mouth shut and remains silent as the blonde finishes clothing herself and disappears without a word of goodbye. Though the intentional slamming of the door sure she feels like a message.</p><p>Lena winces and cradles her head as the sound ricochets off the walls, worsening the ear splitting headache from this morning’s hangover. She deserved that.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Her treatment of her bed partner was atrocious and she could have handled the entire situation with a little more grace, perhaps issuing an apology for the faux pas. But in the end, it’s better this way as the chances of her and the blonde interacting again are minimal at best. </span></p><p>A thin sliver of sunlight peeks through the curtains, which blessedly are closed. She definitely isn’t ready for the harsh light of day as she peals herself off the floor, groaning and moaning as her body protests, mumbling about never drinking again. Another lie she promises herself, one she is aware she’ll break before the end of her trip.</p><p>A string of obscenities escape her when her phone buzzes on the night table, picking up the device and wincing when she notices all of the notifications from her best friend. Her phone starts ringing and she has to answer, unless she wants her asking questions she doesn’t want to answer like why she never stopped by last night.</p><p>“Where the fuck are you?”</p><p>“Hey,” she croaks, her throat dry and hoarse after last night’s activities. That’ll have to be rectified.</p><p>“Don’t tell me you’re getting sick on me Luthor. I need you to be fine.”</p><p>“Not at all,” she rasps, rubbing her throat. She walks into the bathroom, filling the glass with tap. “My throat is just a little dry.”</p><p>“Oh good,” her best friend sighs and Lena can feel the relief draining from her through the line. “Where are you? You were supposed to be at this breakfast twenty minutes ago. The last I heard from you was when you got to the hotel last night and then radio silence. I’ve been texting and calling for like the last hour.”</p><p>Guilt pushes its’ way to the forefront of her mind—she hasn't seen her friend in a while, citing work as an excuse for why she couldn’t take the time to visit when it was just a quick train ride. This was supposed to be their chance to reconnect a little after some of the distance Lena created when she took over her family’s company.</p><p>“Jet lag,” she cuts in. “And maybe a bit of a hangover.” Lying to her best friend the week of her wedding doesn’t seem like a good way to prove she cares about her. She doesn’t need to inform her of the nameless woman she spent the night with, those details are better left out. She would worry over Lena and question her decision making, and that’s the last thing she should be doing when her wedding is in three days time. </p><p>“Ugh… Lena,” flashes of someone else dragging out the syllables of her name as she comes undone nearly cause her to drop her phone. “Did you hook up last night?”</p><p>“No?”</p><p>“You bitch! You totally did. And you weren’t going to tell me?”</p><p>Lena scrubs her face, her pounding skull isn’t doing anything to help with the direction of her morning. “This is your weekend. We don’t need to talk about my exploits.”</p><p>“Hold on just a second, my sister just arrived.” There are muffled voices as she converses with her younger sister. Her name isn’t coming to mind at the moment, only memories of a girl with pigtails, a goofy smile, bruised knees, who constantly chattered, and of course had an ice skating obsession. “Sorry about that, she was being really weird. She arrived last night and I haven’t seen her in like two months.”</p><p>“I think she was like ten the last time I saw her.” Lena went off to boarding school at fourteen, graduated two years later, going on to college to begin collecting the first of her many degrees. She didn’t have time for interruptions and trips across the country. It was a solid two years before she and Alex saw one another in person, primarily because Alex is tenacious and came to her graduation and then later enrolled at Harvard for her undergrad. They were finally in the same city after living on separate coasts, Alex’s sister quite busy with her own life at the time.</p><p>Alex laughs heartily. “Well if you hurry up, you can see her as an adult. She looks nothing like the kid you remember. She’s twenty-two now and getting her doctorate.”</p><p>“Huh,” she says with a wrinkle of her brow, trying to picture the little girl as a grown adult and coming up short. She didn’t remember her much as she had only been adopted a little over a year before Lena left. They spent much of their time dodging the younger girl as she tried to follow them wherever they went. They didn’t want a tag along and ditched her as soon as it was convenient. “Really that old?”</p><p>“Yeah, she’s-- I really shouldn’t say. Anyway hurry up and get your ass down here. You promised me when we were ten you would be my maid of honor. I allowed you to shirk all of your duties, but you aren’t getting out of this.” Lena rolls her eyes. “Don’t roll your eyes. Pinky promises are valid contracts.”</p><p>“When you’re ten,” she grumbles, ignoring Alex’s squawking on the other end. “Okay, okay I have to get dressed and then I’ll be there.” She sniffs at herself, pleased she doesn’t smell much like sex, instead something flowery wafts off of her. “I’ll even skip showering for you.”</p><p>“I’m touched. I’ll see you in a few.” She hangs up without waiting for a response.</p><p>Lena trudges into the bathroom, flinching as she flicks on the light, her eyes slowly adjust to the change in lighting. She grimaces at her reflection—runny, smeared mascara, dark purple circles staining under her eyes brought out the hidden blue of her irises, tangled hair flattened on one side of her head— she has certainly looked more put together than her current appearance would lead anyone to believe.</p><p>She runs the tap, testing the temperature before heading back into the room to grab her toiletries. It takes a few minutes to clear away any traces of the previous night, the mascara was stubborn and refused to budge until she applied a little more force. With a fresh face, she makes the executive decision to forego make-up, giving her skin the first time to breathe in months. Without make-up, the paleness of her skin makes her freckles stand out, softening her appearance, and making her look younger than her twenty-six years. Fatigue from travel highlights the sharpness of her cheekbones and illuminates the cut of her jaw.</p><p>After smoothing moisturizer into her dry skin, she smiles at her reflection. Her skin is a touch brighter and she almost looks like she’s glowing. She runs her brush through the knots in her hair, sending up a prayer of thanks she had the foresight to straighten her hair prior to the trip. The strands dark and unruly, her ministrations do little to smooth her hair. It’s just a breakfast she reminds herself, not the inside of her boardroom.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> There’s no press, trying to catch her off guard, or board member commenting on her inappropriate attire.</span></p><p>Her eyes linger longingly on the unused shower as she exits the bathroom, knowing it’ll be hours before she can stand under a hot stream of water, her tense muscles relaxing from the applied pressure. She has no one to blame but herself for her shortened morning routine.</p><p>She slips into a floral sundress, fitted to her curves, slides her feet into a pair of sandals, declaring herself ready to mingle with the wedding party. Her outfit is less confining than she is accustomed, not quite her usual style.</p><p>Lena snatches her key card and her phone off the bed, heading out after one last look around the room. She leans against the wall waiting for the elevator to arrive, holding her breath as she counts to thirty. Lena hasn’t had much experience in some time conversing with regular people— much of her day is consumed with company and fending off her mother— the person with whom she talks to the most is paid, so it negates the entire concept.</p><p>The doors open revealing the lively lobby with its’ open doors and tropical breeze casually flowing in, the swirl of fans above her head, and cheery people moving about their business.</p><p>She makes her way into the banquet room reserved for the wedding party. Lena takes a deep breath, bracing herself for what’s to come. Alex is unlikely to drop the subject of her activities last night, constantly worried about Lena and her lack of anything resembling a life outside of the office.</p><p>Pushing down the knob, she pushes open the door and finds herself surrounded by a few familiar faces. She recognizes the kind faces of Jeremiah and Eliza Danvers, Alex’s parents —who always made Lena feel welcome in their home— next to them is Sam’s mother and Ruby. There are a few people she remembers from her time in Boston and there are some unfamiliar faces she hasn’t had the pleasure of meeting.</p><p>“Ahh there you are Luthor,” Alex loops her arm through Lena’s, dragging her over to the breakfast bar. “I can’t believe your first night here you managed to seduce some girl into your bed.”</p><p>She won’t admit this to Alex, afraid it’ll sound sappier when spoken, but she has missed her presence. Their weekly phone calls have done little to fill the emptiness in her life, often reminding her how lonely she really is. “What can I say,” she forces a laugh. “I’ve got skills.”</p><p>Alex shakes her head, nudging Lena’s shoulder with her own. “When are you going to settle down? You can’t stay in your office forever.”</p><p>Her mother has said the same thing, growing tiresome of Lena’s diversions from the matter. It’s not as if Lena wants to remain alone. The right person has yet to come along and she refuses to settle for just anyone, not after her last disastrous relationship. </p><p>“You sound like my mom.”</p><p>“I worry about you is all.”</p><p>“Worry less,” she asks. “I’m fine.” She isn’t, but her intention isn’t to worry Alex on her big weekend. “I still can’t believe what a wonderful matchmaker I am.”</p><p>“Oh fuck you! I would’ve asked her out eventually.” Alex crosses her arms defensively, familiar pout forming on her lips.</p><p>Lena snorts. “Yeah okay, Miss I-stutter-every-time-she-talks-to-me.”</p><p>Alex glances around before flipping Lena off. “You’re an asshole. I don’t know why I’ve kept you around this long.”</p><p>“Because I’m awesome,” Lena responds, grabbing a plate to pile food on. She doesn’t intend to eat everything, however Alex has that glint in her eyes, paying close attention to Lena’s movements. Unless forced most days, Alex knows Lena won’t eat a morsel of anything.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> “Obviously the smarter of us and someone had to keep you out of trouble.” Though Lena was just as likely to get them into even more.</span></p><p>“If you say so,” Alex hums in response, snatching a mimosa off of the table. “You’re really not going to share anything with your best friend who is about to be stuck with an old ball and chain?”</p><p>“Old ball and chain, huh?” A voice muses from behind them. “If you really feel that wa-“</p><p>“You know I don’t,” Alex’s grin widens as she turns to Sam, wrapping an arm around her waist, tucking her close to her side. “I’m just trying to get boring old Luthor here to tell me about her one night stand.”</p><p>There’s a crash behind them, a commotion created by someone tripping and knocking over a few plates. “Ahh my sister,” Alex sighs, smiling apologetically as she excuses herself to sort out the mess.</p><p>Sam moves in closer, lifting a brow as she silently appraises Lena. “It must’ve been very good for you to be practically glowing.”</p><p>Her faces heats up at the casual observation. It was some of the best sex of her life. The girl whose name still eludes her knew exactly what she was doing. “It was good.” She smirks.</p><p>“Mhm,” a smile teases Sam’s lips. “You’re not going to reveal anything else?”</p><p>“Why are you and Alex so no-“ Lena chokes on her words, distracted by the woman who captured her attention last night. Alex helps her up and they chat amicably as they clear some of the broken plates. She remembers those blonde waves, how soft they were as she tightened her grip, urging the owner to go deeper, feeling the phantom curl of her fingers inside of her. </p><p>“Tell me you didn’t?” Sam lowers her voice to a whisper, judgment dripping from her tone as she glares at Lena.</p><p>Lena’s brow creases with confusion. “Didn’t what?”</p><p>“Sleep with Alex’s <em>little </em>sister.”</p><p>“Kara,” she breathes, suddenly remembering the name of her one night stand and her best friend’s younger sister. “Fuck.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Find me on <a href="https://moon-mia.tumblr.com">
    <em>tumblr</em></a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So you don't feel confused, this chapter takes place before the first chapter and is from Kara's POV for the first half.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Bzzz…</em>
</p><p>Blue eyes flicker to the sleek device sitting precariously on the edge of a polished wooden desk, a few inches from where she set it when she sat down to work hours ago. She studiously ignores the sound of someone attempting to get her attention, pretending the buzz of her phone is nonexistent.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Sometimes if she ignores a problem, it goes away.</span></p><p>
  <em>Bzzz…</em>
</p><p>Or maybe not.</p><p>She hears the click of her teeth as her jaw clenches— the residual anger from her previous conversation with the sender rolls through her— but she takes a deep breath, relaxing her grip around the pen in her hand. With a roll of her shoulders, she elects to continue ignoring her phone, hoping to send a clear message once and for all.</p><p>The sweet sound of silence envelops her when the phone stops vibrating with a series of purposely unread and unanswered texts. All she can hear is the flourish of her pen in her notebook, her roommates puttering around in their rooms, and the exhausts of passing cars in the street down below.</p><p>Her mind retreats into the familiar, scribbling formulas and crossing out variables as she searches for the solution to fill the gap in her research. She has time before she has to meet with her advisor, her progress is slow going, not quite where she imagined it would be at this stage. The math isn’t supporting her and with the distraction of her sister’s wedding on the horizon, she’s a little more on edge than usual.</p><p>And her advisor is unhelpful in her endeavors, offering general advice and reminding her she’s on a ticking clock as if she could forget.</p><p>
  <em>Bzzz…</em>
</p><p>Her hand tightens around her pen until she hears something snap like a twig. </p><p>With a growl, she snatches the phone off the desk, her nails scraping on the wood— she slides her finger across the screen without checking, her first mistake— her muscles are taut and she can’t contain the rush of anger.</p><p>She snaps. “Why the fuck won’t you leave me alone? Jesus fucking Christ, I’m sick of this shit.”</p><p>The silence on the other end stuns her. She bites her lip, pulling back at the familiar, disappointed sigh, swearing silently when the screen reads <b>Mom</b>. ‘<em>Fuck!’</em></p><p>“Excuse me!”</p><p>Tears prick her eyes when her mother’s voice washes over her. The telltale anger is evident and Kara knows she is in for the lecture of her life. In no reality would she dare to speak to her mother in such a fashion— not unless she wanted to cease existing— Eliza Danvers was many things to many people, often cited as one of the friendliest people in their town, but one thing she did not tolerate was disrespect of any kind. Kara and her sister had learned more than a few lessons the hard way over the years and that one had taken the longest to sink in.</p><p>“Mom,” she softens her tone, muscles relaxing incrementally upon realizing her mistake. “I am so sor—”</p><p>Her mother refuses to allow her the opportunity to apologize. “Young lady, you may be an adult now, but that doesn’t mean you can disrespect me. I’m still your mother.” Kara sighs. </p><p>“Regardless, that is no way to answer your phone, I don’t care who is on the other end. And I swear if you ever speak to me like that again, you don’t want to know what’ll happen.” Kara gulps, her head bobbing erratically to the tune of her mother’s words. “I need a verbal confirmation.”</p><p>“Yes ma’am, I promise it wasn’t my intention mom. You caught me at a bad time.” Her second mistake, or maybe her third, all of them blending together at this point.</p><p>“Kara!” She warns.</p><p>She wavers in her defence. It has never worked all that well with her mother. Excuses weren’t explanations. She bows her head. “You’re right. I shouldn’t talk to anyone like that.” It doesn’t mean she won’t do it again, she just has to remember to check the caller id in the future. “What’s up?” Her mother doesn’t normally need a reason to call. They have a scheduled call every Sunday, alternating the callers, mostly to prevent her mother from dissolving into histrionics about her life and hurling unfounded accusations about Kara blocking her out. Being an empty nester hasn’t really suited her mother.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> But sometimes she receives random ones from her mother about nonsensical things that really have no bearing on her life. She wades her way through it, chiming in at the right parts, and bidding her mother a good day at the end.</span></p><p>Recently, most of their calls have been centered around her sister’s upcoming wedding. Her mom has taken care of a lot of the accommodations and her entire itinerary, quite aware of her daughter’s deficiency when it came to travel. She allows talk of the wedding to eat up their conversation— to avoid her mother’s deft prying into her life— with her distracted about all things Alex, she has managed to slip under the radar for the last few months.</p><p>“I wanted to check that you’re all packed and ready to fly out tomorrow.”</p><p>Her parents, sister, sister’s fiancée and kid were already in Hawaii. Kara chose to fly out later, arriving the same day as the other guests. Watching a bunch of happy couples together in paradise wasn’t her idea of fun. She was expecting plenty of<em> ‘when will you be walking down the aisle’</em> and<em> ‘have you thought about settling down’ </em>over the course of the weekend from nosy relatives that refused to take a hint and kept prying into her business as if they were entitled.</p><p>Their family and friends meant well, but it was hardly fair of them to question her next moves when there was a whole four year difference between her and her sister. She was 22, not that it stopped them from asking why someone as intelligent and beautiful as her was somehow still single as if it were a disease she contracted.<span class="Apple-converted-space"><br/></span></p><p>She just has other <em>priorities.</em> And well… nothing resembling a social life whatsoever. She has her cat and her roommates when she’s desperate for company. </p><p>“Yes mom,” she huffs, annoyed by her mother’s inability to stop checking in on her. “I’m not fourteen anymore.”</p><p>“I’m not looking for a fight Kara.” She knows that. Still it’s hard to repress at times, the teen inside of her. “It’s a really big weekend for our family. We are adding new members and your sister is getting married.”</p><p>How could she have missed that? It’s all her family has talked about for the last year. ‘<em>Hey mom and dad, I got accepted into the doctorate program at CalTech’ ‘Oh honey, your sister has chosen to get married in Hawaii.’ ‘I was the recipient of a prestigious grant’ ‘Your sister is graduating Magna Cum Laude from medical school and the wedding is going to happen the summer before her residency.’</em></p><p>She wasn’t jealous of her sister. Far from it. She was ecstatic she found happiness. Kara had taken up a lot of their parents’ attention when they were kids and it was only fair her sister finally receives some of it.</p><p>Still, she couldn’t supress some of her adolescent urges. Her parents weren’t trying to neglect one child over the other and they were equally as proud of her achievements, but these days it seemed as if she always fell short of their expectations. So on principle, she found herself short with her mother and adopting Alex’s approach to dealing with their mother— which was to not and pretend she had.</p><p>“If that’s all, I’ve got some work to do before I fly out tomorrow.” It’s brisker than intended, conveying a different message, one that says leave me the hell alone. She regrets it instantly, but her mother has instilled in her that once said, words can’t just be taken back. She swallows back her remorse, biting her tongue to hold in her apology.</p><p>Guilt trickles through her, pooling in the lining of her stomach— reminding her how shitty she’s been to her family lately.</p><p>“Yes honey, that’s all. I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you.”</p><p>“Love you too,” she mumbles, ending the call. She buries her face in her hands, shame replacing the slippery tendrils of guilt.</p><p>She is a terrible daughter.</p><p>She is entirely unsurprised when she receives a text a few hours later from her sister who took the brunt of their mother’s ire without Kara there to scold in person. She sends out a hasty apology filled with lots of emojis before shutting off her phone and cutting out the outside world.</p><p>She goes back to what makes the most sense to her these days— her work.</p><hr/><p>She adds terrible sister to her resume the following night when instead of stopping by her sister’s room to catch up after having not seen one another in a couple of months, she finds her way to the hotel bar, seeking solace from the inside of a bottle. The night blurs a little until a brunette slides onto the stool next to hers. Kara takes a moment to appraise the woman, struck by her beauty. How was it fair for someone to look like that?</p><p>The woman’s blue-green eyes were striking, unlike any she had seen. Her skin was luminescent, flushing the softest shade of pink when Kara compliments her. And something niggles at the back of her brain. She feels she knows this woman, but her brain is a little fuzzy and her thoughts less than coherent.  “Business or pleasure?”</p><p>She orders whiskey for them, noticing the woman’s empty glass and smelling the alcohol on her breath. The dark haired temptress has good taste if her attire was anything to go by.</p><p>Where Kara is mostly muscle, this woman is all curves. Her dress accentuates the flare of her hips, and Kara keeps her gaze from lingering on the woman’s chest, where the dress highlights those delectable collarbones. There’s something soft about her that calls to Kara.</p><p>The sharp line of her jaw is enviable. It’s startles her how attracted she is to her. She hasn't felt like this in a long time. So she flirts a little or a <em>lot</em>.</p><p>“Pleasure,” she hums as she brings the glass to sensuous, red painted lips. It should’ve been a sin to watch this woman’s mouth wrap around words. Kara thinks she introduced herself at one point as Linda. She wasn’t focusing too much on what was coming out, mostly thinking of what could go in.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> But she’s positive it starts with L and ends with a.</span></p><p>From there, things escalate— the woman’s fingers trail up her thigh, stopping at the hem of her shorts— and then they’re in the elevator, lips locked in a heated kiss and hands freely roaming as they head to the woman’s room.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> The slightly woman shoves her against the door of her hotel, lips latched to her neck as she tries to unlock her door. </span></p><p>There was so much milky white skin, silk to the touch, and the woman was incredibly sensitive, or that could’ve been the three orgasms. The taste of her lingered on her tongue as she fell to the bed to catch her breath after all the gymnastics.</p><p>She was vocal about her desires, which further turned her on. There was nothing hotter than a woman knowing what she wanted and demanding it.</p><p>Kara buries herself one the woman. She lets go of her worries—the threat of failure, of knowing once and for all she can’t measure up— and finds it is easy to fall into the woman with her dexterous tongue and quick fingers, Kara crescendoes off a cliff. She floats in her bliss and it carries her to sleep.</p><p>The arrival of morning is brutal and embarrassing as she comes to with a loud thud. Her vision is hazy and eyes slightly irritated after she slept in her contacts. She peeks her head over to the side of the bed where the noise came from, finding the woman from last night splayed naked on the floor. At least, it wasn’t the alcohol that had her convinced she was beyond gorgeous. If Kara were the type, she’d write poetry about the woman’s beauty.</p><p>Instead, she winces at the name ‘Kira’, perhaps overreacting a touch when she slams the door on her way out. She rushes a few doors down to her own room, hastily changing into something more presentable than the dress she wore last night.</p><p>She switches out the white dress for a blue one in a similar style. She drags a brush through her tangled waves, remember how her mystery woman wove her fingers in them.</p><p>Kara quickly brushes her teeth to cover up the lingering smell of alcohol and her own bad breath before applying a light coat of lipgloss and popping a few Advil. She finds a cute pair of sandals and rushes out the door, grabbing her phone and keys at the last minute. She is late enough and is bound to catch her sister’s attention after ditching her the previous night.</p><p>Ducking out of sight when she spots her mother, she runs right into her sister. She tells the person on the other end to hold a minute. “Kara, where the fuck have you been?”</p><p>“Oh Alex, I’m so sorry. I just wasn’t really in the mood to talk last night and I had a little too much to drink at the bar.” She fails fo mention she met someone and spent the night worshipping their body.</p><p>Alex narrows her eyes, raking over her appearance. Alex has some practice with this, having covered for Kara a few times in their youth. “At least you don’t reek of booze. It’s an overall improvement from Pyeongchang.”</p><p>Kara deserves that, and takes it over anything else her sister could’ve dished out. “I’m not too late, am I?”</p><p>Alex waves her off. “Mom thinks you overslept and that you’ve been overworking yourself in your doctorate program.”</p><p>“Let it never be said Eliza Danvers doesn’t overreact.” Their mother can take a single sentence and turn it into a full blown problem before they have the chance to blink. She had the uncanny ability to detect when something was wrong. “The greeting wasn’t meant for her.”</p><p>“You’ll have to tell me about it later.”</p><p>Kara nods, feeling despondent as her sister pulls away, and that familiar twinge of jealousy burns in her veins when it dawns on her who’s on the other side of the line, but she hides it with an easy smile, moving towards the buffet table. She picks a table on the opposite end of the room, to prolong the inevitable confrontation with her mother. She owes her an apology for her poor behavior and lack of phone calls.</p><p>“Kara,” she lifts her head, meeting kind green eyes.</p><p>Her smile is genuine this time. “Hello Mrs. Luth-Lillian,” she corrects when the woman arches a brow. “How are you?”</p><p>“I’m wonderful, my dear. How are you? I haven’t seen you in quite some time.”</p><p>“I’ve been well. I’m working on my physics doctorate at CalTech.”</p><p>“How is that going?”</p><p>Kara purses her lips, stabbing her eggs with more force than required. She knows the woman is merely curious about her academic pursuits, her own children quite accomplished themselves. “It’s okay,” she finally says, deflating.</p><p>Lillian cups her face and pats her cheek. Her eyes hold an abundance of empathy and warmth. “You’ll figure it out. You’re a smart girl and already hold three other degrees.” Kara ducks her head bashfully at the praise— compliments made her uncomfortable even when rightfully earned. “Do you still skate?”</p><p>She shrugs. “I teach lessons, but other than that not really.”</p><p>“What a shame,” and Kara forces back a sigh. “You were so talented and could’ve had a few more years.”</p><p>Kara shrugs, the tension in her shoulders is unbearable, but she can’t unleash all of her anger on unsuspecting Lillian. Lillian has done a lot for her and she can’t reward that by losing her temper. “Yeah…”</p><p>“How are you after everything?”</p><p><em>Angry!! </em>The word burns the tip of her tongue, scalding in its’ intensity to enter the world, but Kara has enough practice to avoid verbalizing such things. She quickly composed herself, flashing a faint smile, one meant to reassure everything is as she claims. “I don’t know.” Most days, she goes about her life as usual, but then something happens and serves as a reminder of what was. “It’s fine for the most part.” She finally says. She is tired of the lie— repeating it over and over again to avoid the looks of pity she would receive otherwise.</p><p>“I was sorry. I hope you received my flowers.” She did. And the flowers of a lot of other people too— ones she knew and ones she didn’t. The sterile environment was overflowing as was her parents’ home with arrangements.</p><p>“I did,” she assures Lillian with a small quirk of her lips. “It was very kind of you to think of me.” She had appreciated the gesture. In any other situation might have reciprocated with a call expressing her gratitude, as it was, she barely managed to leave her bedroom and converse with her family.</p><p>“Well I better go find my daughter, but I’m here if you ever need anything sweetheart.” She squeezes Kara’s hand, offering one last smile, before she is up on her feet in a fluid movement.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>A flurry of motion out of the corner of her eye has her up and out of her own seat minutes later. After her talk with Lillian— leaving her vulnerable and raw— the last thing she wants is to get caught up with her mother. She loves her, more than words could express, however she isn’t ready to talk about herself or the reason she answered her phone the way she did.</p><p>Her quick, jerky movement results in a bout of carelessness.</p><p>
  <em>Crash</em>
</p><p>She miscalculated her movements, bumping and falling into one of the hotel workers clearing a table. Dishes shatter upon impact. Kara picks herself up with a wince and starts collecting broken plates. “Great,” she mutters.</p><p>Alex is at her side instantly, assisting with clean up of the floor and Kara, waving off hotel attendants. “Are you okay?” The concern is too much and she avoids looking at her sister, afraid of what her face will reveal to her.</p><p>She bats away her hands. “I’m fine. Why does everyone keep asking?”</p><p>“You haven’t been the same since…” her voice trails off.</p><p>Like everyone else, her sister dances around the topic. “I broke my ankle and quit skating. It’s not a dirty word.” The snark is new, an ugly, unexplored part of her newly adopted personality. To embrace her reality, she had to fortify herself.</p><p>“Don’t be so cavalier about it. You didn’t just break your ankle. Stop making light of the situation.”</p><p>Kara stares at the broken fragments of the shattered plates, relating to them in a way she can’t to the people in her life anymore. She can’t share those feelings with them. There aren’t words to express what she’s lost, to explain how everyday she tries not to suffocate. “It’s fine Alex. It’s all in the past. Why can’t we leave it there?”</p><p>Her sister pinches the bridge of her nose, eyes shooting upwards as she inhales and exhales, taking a moment to control her own reaction in response to Kara’s. Kara’s goal for the weekend is to watch her sister get married and observe the happiness she has carved out for herself. At no point did she factor in, her family optimizing her attendance as a chance to touch base with her. “Why won’t you let us take care of you? You’re my little sister.”</p><p>Kara shakes her head sadly. “Yes but you’ve got a life too. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m fine.” If she repeats it a few more times, she might begin to believe it herself. At some point, doesn’t it become true— like when people repeat their affirmations in front of the mirror? She hopes fervently it does.</p><p>“Keep saying that, it needs to be a little more convincing.”</p><p>Kara huffs, rolling her eyes, as she clears the remaining shards. It’s a curse how well her sister knows her and sees through the top soil that hides the real damage. “I hate you,” she grumbles, rotating away from Alex.</p><p>“I love you too, baby sis. You got a shit hand, but you haven’t lost everything. If you don’t believe anything else I say, then believe that.” Her lips brush Kara’s temple and Kara feels the tension seep out of her muscles.</p><p>Before being adopted, Kara was an only child, content in her status as an only child. It was something she and Alex had in common. They were the apple of their parents’ eye until Kara came to live with the Danvers. Their lives were inextricably linked by forces out of their control and in the beginning the resentment stood between them, festering and oozing like an open sore. Alex hadn’t wanted a sister. She had her best friend— Lena Luthor was as good as her sister— so a scrawny nine year old who spent a lot of time jumping in the air wasn’t part of her plans. Then Lena was gone and Alex began to hangout at the rink, cheering her on during competitions, and they built themselves a sisterhood.</p><p>They had their own thing separate from what she shared with Lena.</p><p>Still, Kara knew her place. At the end of the day, Lena would remain Alex’s best friend and she was okay with it. She didn’t remember much of the brunette, barely listening when Alex shared stories of their time in college— far too busy with finishing high school early and increased training for the Olympics.</p><p>“Did Lena show up?” She brushes egg off her dress, pushing off the sticky floor.</p><p>Alex grins and nods her head. “Oh yeah, she got lucky last night and overslept.” Alex cranes her neck, directing Kara’s attention to Sam and…</p><p>“Fuck,” she whispers, dropping her head. Of all the people she could’ve picked up in that hotel bar, she picked the one who is about as close to her sister as she is. She and Alex had agreed a few years ago, Kara wouldn’t sleep with any of her friends after Sara. Did it count if she didn’t know they were friends at the time the offense occurred?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> She was drunk and while Lena was familiar to her, her mind hadn’t put the pieces together. And this morning… well her only excuse is that her contacts were stuck to her eyes and her eyesight was a little blurry. </span></p><p>“Come on, I’ll introduce you guys.” Alex loops their arms, dragging her sister as Kara tries to dig her heels in.</p><p>Kara protests the whole time, wanting to prevent the coming clusterfuck. Only to be intercepted by a very different problem. “Hey Big D and oh you’ve got Lil D with you too!”</p><p>Kara shoots her sister the nastiest glare for not warning her about this. It’s not that she’s got a problem, but she would’ve liked some warning. “S-s-Sara?”</p><p>The blonde grins and waves her fingers.</p><p>So maybe the universe really is against her.</p><hr/><p>“Tell me you didn’t? Please.” Sam begs her as she watches the two sisters clean up across the room.</p><p>“I wish I could.” In her defense, if she had known she would have looked in the other direction. “I can’t believe I broke the first rule of bro code.”</p><p>“Don’t fuck siblings.”</p><p>Lena makes a face at the simplification of the first rule. “There’s no need for crassness.” Rule number one was created before Alex had a hot sister— with pretty words and extremely kissable lips. “It’s don’t do anything with the sibling of your BFF. I didn’t think she’d ever be interested in Lex anyway, but I had to cover my bases.” It failed to occur to her when Alex got a sister that the ten year old who trailed desperately after them would grow into… well <em>that.</em> Blondes were not her usual type. She had slept with a handful of them, but typically preferred brunettes until blue eyes met hers and she found herself falling down a hole. She wonders if this was how Alice felt when she woke up in Wonderland, finding the world quite different than the one she left behind.</p><p>Lena knows she thinks with her vagina first and considers the consequences later. “She was charming and there was something about her,” she defends, crossing her arms irritably, straining the muscles in her neck to get a better vantage point of Kara. She has to remind herself that’s her name and to call her by it, sexy blonde has a great ring, but one Alex would murder her for if she ever heard it.</p><p>“Don’t go there Lena,” Sam’s frown disappears, but there’s a hint of reproach lacing her voice. “I don’t mean because of bro code. Kara doesn’t date. She’s got her own shit and I don’t want you two doing something you’ll regret.” She sighs, no longer looking at Lena. “You give your heart away too easily and she doesn’t give her heart at all. She may have slept with you, but in all honesty, she’ll likely rebuff you if you try again.”</p><p>Lena wants to scoff at the idea. The problem is Lena is ruled by a baser instinct. Someone tells her not to do something, she has to do it. While tentative, she felt a thread of a connection with Kara. Perhaps it was the alcohol talking, blinding her to reality, but she didn’t think it was purely about sex.</p><p>The sex was fantastic… mind blowing… unforgettable. Though now that she knows the identity of her one night stand, her mind fills it in with images of bruised knees and the solemn face of a little girl trying to belong, while Lena and Alex did everything they could to get her to leave them in peace. The two images manage to coexist in her mind.</p><p>“Alex said she’s getting her doctorate?” There is <em>interest.</em> She refuses to hide it with Sam knowing her the way she does. From the little memories she possesses, Kara as a child failed to make much of a lasting impression a beyond that of whiny baby. It is perhaps an unfair assessment given her own age and her feeding off Alex’s general disdain of having a sister. She followed her lead.</p><p>Sam rolls her eyes, blowing out a slow breath as she moves her intense gaze over Lena— giving her the impression she’s being x-rayed— eyes intent, reading Lena’s every expression. She shifts uncomfortably— the urge buried beneath a carefully cultivated facade, far more primal in nature— unaccustomed to someone peering so closely and needing them to like what they see. She didn’t need Sam’s validation to make a move. “Yes, she’s a physicist. She’s got two masters under her belt.”</p><p>Lena whistles in surprise. Beauty and brains are a lethal combination, one Kara possesses, further piquing her interest in the other woman. Kara is a science problem— she is determined to dissect her to discover what makes her tick. Her parents taught her if she couldn’t figure something out to dismantle it into its’ original pieces for further examination. She doesn’t think she had a chance to really get to know the blonde at the bar, though what she does recall, she liked. It was refreshing someone flirting with her for no other reason than she was attractive and not because of her family name or her money.</p><p>There are a few hurdles she has to jump if she wants to go through with her pursuit. This feeling taking residence in her chest is unlike anything she’s experienced. It has been a while since she wanted to know anything about a one night stand— learning early on it is far more efficient and easier for her to detach herself, if she doesn’t invest the time then there’s no chance of involving feelings.</p><p>Despite the rocky start with her cowardly nature making an appearance this morning while the blonde dressed, Lena is intrigued and tempted by the forbidden fruit. If she had set aside time to visit her friend, she might have met Kara sooner.</p><p>How did she miss all of Alex’s stories pertaining to her sister—<em>oh right</em>, she tuned out when the words younger sister or Kara were mentioned. Unbeknownst to Alex, she was often multitasking while on the phone, or maybe she was aware she did not fully occupy Lena’s attention. She was distracted by whatever crisis was happening at work and Alex was a workaholic herself, so she had no room to judge Lena. They made space within the parameters of their lives to squeeze in the other.</p><p>“Lena, I really want you to be careful. She’s got allure and she’s intelligent, but Kara may be more than you can chew. Also, if you’re going to make a move of any kind, you’ll have to discuss it with Alex.”</p><p>Lena deflates instantly upon hearing Alex’s name, quite certain any chance she had has been killed by the reminder that Kara is related to her. Her options are limited— tell Alex, potentially open herself to murder or don’t tell Alex and forget about pursuing anything with a literal sexual goddess. Both options presented to her were unfortunate. She did not see a path around the obstacle that is her best friend. At some point, she would have to find out, no matter how it played out.</p><p>Sam was the voice of reason that had been missing with her and Alex as juveniles. The two of them were often fuelled by their emotions, jumping into situations with little regard for themselves and lacking consideration for future consequences. At least she tried to plan it out before acting, creating some sort of strategy, whilst Alex would dive right into a situation. Sam stopped them from feeding off each other’s stupid ideas in college— the type that could result in possible arrests.</p><p>Sam nudges her shoulder, alerting her to the impending arrival of Kara and Alex. Lena did a quick once over of the blonde, her gaze drawn to the muscles of her arms, pushing away the memories of them flexing as the blonde took her last night. “Ew, stop it!” Sam flicks her on the head. “I don’t need those images. She’s like my little sister. I’ve known her since she was still basically a kid.”</p><p>Lena shrugs unabashedly, biting her lip, admiring the fit of Kara’s blue eyelet dress. The color makes her eyes appear even bluer, reminding her of the ocean outside their hotel. “I can’t help it.” She knows what is under that dress. Has touched and trailed her lips down golden skin, admiring the flush that rapidly spread, rejoicing as thighs clenched from the press of her mouth.</p><p>“You’re literally disg-oh shit!” Sam pulls away, brows drawing together. “I gotta go.” She rushes over to where the two sisters stopped to chat with a petite blonde.</p><p>She is hot on Sam’s trail, having recognized the blonde instantly, despite it having been a few years since their paths had crossed. There are some people that are unforgettable, Sara Lance is one of those people.</p><p>“Hey Sara,” she greets, not fully understanding the weird dynamic between the blonde and the two Danvers sisters. Her eyes move between the three as she does her best to read the situation.</p><p>Sara’s grin is infectious and Lena returns it with one of her own. “How goes it Lena? Long time, no see.” After finishing her degree, Sara joined the Peace Corps for a time, when she returned she became a trainer to some high profile clientele. She was based on the west coast, rarely travelling east.</p><p>“I’ve been good. And yourself?”</p><p>“Oh I’m quite excellent.”</p><p>“I didn’t realize you’d be here.”</p><p>“I wasn’t sure myself, but my girlfriend really wanted to meet everyone.”</p><p>Lena blinks rapidly, eyes catching Alex’s and Sam’s. There is a lack of surprise, though they were the ones handling the RSVPs. “Wow, congrats,” she pulls Sara to her in a tight hug. “I can’t believe you’re in a committed relationship. What happened to all that nonsense about there being enough of you to go around for all the ladies?” She smirks, winking at her.</p><p>“I found the right woman.” Lena is happy for her. There was something incredibly lonely about Sara, part of the reason they got along. “What I cant believe is that you haven’t,” Sam coughs, while Kara looks away.</p><p>“Guess I haven’t been that lucky.”</p><p>“You and Kitten over there.”</p><p>“<em>Kitten?</em>”</p><p>Alex and Lena are taken aback by the nickname. Kara ducks her head, sucking her lower lip into her mouth. Lena draws her brows together, her gaze darting between the two blondes before it clicks.</p><p>“Wait…” she says, voice drifting off when she noticed Alex fidgeting. “<em>Oh!” </em>The truth feels like someone forced a hot poker down her throat as she chokes on the knowledge Sara has had relations with Alex and… Kara.</p><p>“It’s not—“</p><p>“It was a long—“</p><p>“Oh no, it’s uh—“</p><p>The three of them speak over each other, arms waving emphatically, exchanging wary, awkward glances as they attempt to elucidate Lena on the matter.</p><p>Alex’s eyes beg her to please not mention it, while Kara hums with a pained look forming on her face, refusing to make contact with anyone. Was this the reason Sam hurried over to the trio?</p><p>Lena shoves down the raging inferno of jealousy that’s been left unchecked. She has no right to it when she and Kara aren’t anything more than two people who played bedmates. It doesn’t lessen the sting even if she knows that Sara has a girlfriend now. She refuses to consider why it bothers her Kara and Sara had sex. Before her current girlfriend, Sara slept with any woman who showed a little interest, so she doubts there were any pesky feelings involved in their coupling.</p><p>“Right, well um- - I’m going to go somewhere that’s uh not here. I’ll catch you later Sara and it was good seeing you again Kara.” Kara startles at the sound of her name— blue gaze travelling up to meet hers— her cheeks flush and she mumbles something in return. “I’m looking forward to getting to <em>know</em> you better.”</p><p>“Uh… yeah, sure.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I decided to change the dynamic up a bit with Lena being the one who falls a little more easily. Also comments are like crack, so please leave one lol<br/>When I posted the first chapter, I really hadn't expected so many people to enjoy it, so thank you for that.<br/>You can find me on <a href="https://jmoonrise.tumblr.com">
    <em>tumblr</em>.
  </a><br/></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Because in my opinion, today is arguably the best day of the year (my 25th b-day), I decided to post a little early to share the day with you guys.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lena studies the options at the buffet table, cycling between her desire for something sweet over the practicality of maintaining her diet, before shrugging, reasoning she’s on vacation. If there was a time to splurge on something decadent, deviating from her normal food choices, her best friend’s wedding was the perfect opportunity.</p><p>Arms encircle her shoulders, forcing her to tense until the scent of jasmine wraps around her. She relaxes into her captor’s embrace with a fond smile and a gentle roll of her eyes. “Hello mother,” she greets, scooping a helping of eggs onto her plate. Eggs are protein and it eases some of her guilt and she’s meeting at least some of her nutritional needs.</p><p>Her mother presses her lips to the back of her head. “Hello daughter, where have you been hiding?”</p><p>She cranes her head over her shoulder to catch her first glimpse of her mother. They haven’t seen each other in a good month as her mother decided to go yachting with some friends in the Mediterranean. She sports a nice tan as proof of her time away. “I can’t say I know what you mean mom.” She frowns when she reaches the fruit selection, scooping a couple of spoonfuls onto her plate.</p><p>“I texted you last night.”</p><p>Lena freezes at the reminder she has no less than twenty different notifications on her phone from a variety of people, not just Alex blowing up her phone this morning. “Sorry, I had a rough flight and spent my night locked in my room.” It was partly true. Her mother didn’t need all the nitty, gritty details of what transpired within the confines of her hotel room. They have a close relationship, but there were some boundaries they didn’t cross.</p><p>The rough flight isn’t a lie. Lena detests nothing more than flying—her flight picked up some turbulence over the Pacific Ocean—and the unsteadying nature of relying on a hulk of metal to carry her across the world is never not terrifying. She had forgotten her prescription of Xanax, depending on the free booze offered in first to settle her frayed nerves. Her fingers remained clenched around the arm rests for most of the duration of the flight—the parts where she was conscious—until the moment wheels touched down on the tarmac and she was safe on land once again.</p><p>“<em>Really?</em>”</p><p>The doubt coloring her tone has Lena tilting her head, brow furrowed as she regards her mother. Her green eyes are sparkling and the delighted quirk of her lips causes a feeling of unease to settle low in her belly. The unnatural gleam reminds her of the time her mother caught her with her hand up her first girlfriend’s shirt.</p><p>“Yes,” she replies, lips pursed as she attempts to navigate around her mother, eyes scanning the dining room with feigned interest. She finds an empty table, not surprised when her mother takes the seat next to hers. Her mother is in a particularly nosy mood, the type she has vast experience with from her youth, and has failed to diffuse far too many times.</p><p>Lillian Luthor has one of the most amazing minds, extremely logical and able to put into focus the larger picture, choosing to focus on macrocosms and not microcosms.</p><p>When Lena came out to her at fifteen, her mother wasn’t the least bit surprised, citing Lena’s lack of interest in males as one of the several observations she had made about her daughter. She told Lena she would’ve been more shocked if she had said she was interested in boys.</p><p>“Huh,” the left brow rises and Lena clamps down on her bottom lip. “So your lack of response had nothing to do with a reasonably attractive blonde I saw getting into the elevator with you?”</p><p>Lena chokes, staring incredulously at her mother—who is wearing the smuggest grin imaginable, pride in her eyes for getting a reaction from her daughter. “I’m sorry?”</p><p>“Oh Lena honey, I’m your mother. These games have grown tiresome where you pretend that I didn’t catch you with a woman.”</p><p>She bobs her head, smoothing out invisible wrinkles in her dress, as she refuses to meet her mother’s eyes. It is one thing for her mother to suspect something and a different matter entirely for her to have full awareness of the situation. “It’s not what you think.”</p><p>Poor choice of words when she doesn’t know what her mother thinks anyway. “What is you believe I think?” Lillian is amused by her frazzled nerves.</p><p>She plays with the fabric of her dress, lips twisting unpleasantly, cottoning on to her mother’s plan. It is ingenious. Lena has fallen for it nearly every time. Her mom plays coy and Lena ends up revealing every sordid detail of whatever she’s done, none the wiser it was her mom’s intention all along. She pretends tot know more than she actually does in a concentrated effort to have Lena open up like a flower. She refuses to spill her guts on principle, not to mention how absolutely, devastatingly humiliating it was to discover she had slept with her best friend’s younger sister.</p><p>It wasn’t the person in question, more so the circumstances surrounding them. There is the formidable obstacle of her friend that she hasn’t given herself much time to contemplate. Lena narrows her gaze and crosses her arms over her chest. It isn’t a mature reaction in the least, but digging a grave for herself is not at the top of her priority list.</p><p>“Honey, I think you’re forgetting how well I know you. I noticed that you and a certain blonde were both late this morning.” Lena does her best to keep a neutral reaction.</p><p>“Mere coincidence,” she dismisses instantly, taking a sip of her mimosa as she peers at her mother over the glass.</p><p>Her mother smiles, not easily deterred. “Then I watched you <em>thirst </em>after her.”</p><p>Lena swallows her beverage too quickly and starts coughing. “G-od mom,” she coughs out. Her mother is aggravating on a good day and downright irritating on a bad one. The knowing grin smeared across her lips irritates the hell out of Lena. “Since when do <em>you</em> even know what a word like thirst is, let alone use it correctly?” There is a dull ache building in her temples with the continuation of the morning.</p><p>“It keeps me young.”</p><p>“Please stop!” She pleads. “I don’t like hearing my mom use words like thirst, or you using it in a sentence referring to me.”</p><p>“So you weren’t?”</p><p>It is too late to deny she was in fact staring at Kara— her gaze lingering a little too long to be considered polite or appropriate if Sam’s comments were an indication.</p><p>She sighs, fingers rubbing her temples to relieve some of the pressure. “Fine,” she snaps. “I was and yes that’s who you saw with me in the elevator last night. Happy?”</p><p>“Ecstatic, did you know she had quite the crush on you when you were kids?”</p><p>“Your point?”</p><p>“All I’m saying is you could do worse. You have in the past. Kara is intelligent, athletic, charismatic, and <em>single</em>.” If she wasn’t feeling out of sorts by the conversation, she would’ve questioned how her mother knew so much about the youngest Danvers to recommend her as an interest for Lena’s affections.</p><p>Lena gapes at her mother. She blinks a few times to confirm she has not entered some parallel universe in which her mom has decided to cut the bullshit and tell her straight to her face who she believes would make a good match for her daughter. “Why aren’t you ragging on Lex for still being single?”</p><p>Lillian fixes her youngest with a look and Lena sighs with a shake of her head. Her brother is absolutely useless when it relates to affairs of the heart. He tends to attract the obsessive, stalker-ish type that attempt to quickly ingratiate themselves within the family. Lena still has nightmares about the last one he brought home, Eve. She seemed sane and kind, if not overly cheery and friendly, but within a month of dating, she was professing her everlasting love and planning their wedding.</p><p>“Right,” Lena laughs at the absurdity of her brother finding someone and making a serious go of it. “You could set him up. I’m sure there is some friend who has a single daughter that’s desperate enough to date Lex.” She supposes her brother has run the gamut in their circles, sleeping with numerous socialites and dumping them after a few weeks when they no longer serve a purpose. Her brother’s romantic endeavors have been heavily scrutinized, often blasted across the front of every tabloid in Metropolis and neighboring cities. “Maybe don’t,” she amends after a careful re-evaluation of her brother’s past exploits. “Lex would probably just break their heart.” That was his particular specialty after all.</p><p>“Which is why I’m depending on you. I’m not getting any younger and I would like to be young enough to enjoy grandchildren.”</p><p><em>Oh my god!</em> This is the surrealist moment of her life. This is the first mention of grandchildren her mother has snuck in, and she seriously doubts it’ll be the last if the formidable woman has anything to say about it. Lena has hardly had time to think about her life beyond her role in the company—relegating relationships to the background—and putting out any fires sparking from her brother’s stepping down. Sure she has considered it, but in a distant sort of way, something that was a few years down the line.</p><p>Then again, she has traveled thousands of miles across land and sea to attend her best friends’ wedding. All of it is a reminder of what she is lacking in her own life. “Have you considered Lex and I are just bad at love?” It is something she has entertained a time or two after numerous failed relationships, perhaps love was to remain out of her reach. It hits her like a smack in the face that she does in fact want someone by her side. Work is work. There is some fulfillment, but at the end of the day when she enters her desolate penthouse, sparse in furniture and decorations, lacking any of the warmth of her childhood home, she feels that loneliness wash over her, seeping from her skin to her bones, leaving her cold all over.</p><p>The contemplative look in her mom’s eyes unnerves her. She rarely has found herself in a position where she would admit to envying the life of another. Yet from the moment the fancy invitation with lace trim arrived on her desk, all she has done is dwell on the state of her own life. Her accomplishments are vast, surpassing those of her brothers as she strove to prove she was as good as if not greater than Lex. When at the end, it was her left standing in the dust, and she finally took the time to pause and reflect, it occurred to her that there was something lacking. Besting her brother hadn’t felt as good as she imagined.</p><p>Her mother slides her chair closer, wrapping an arm around Lena’s shoulder as she cards her fingers through her hair. “I don’t believe anyone is bad at love. Love is messy and sometimes unforgiving, but it can bring you the greatest happiness.” Lena drops her head to her mom’s shoulder. “You’ve had some bad luck in the area as of late through no fault of your own. Maybe what you need is a little fun to remind you that it isn’t all bad. Weddings are a perfect reminder. And Kara could use someone like you in her life.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“When you’re not competing with your brother, you’re lively, fun, charming, and you’ve got the biggest heart of anyone I know. Any woman would be lucky to call you theirs, and all I’m saying is Kara is very easy on the eyes.”</p><p>Lena playfully shoves at her mother, giggling uncontrollably at the lack of subtly her mother is employing. “You’re usually more covert at getting your way. Besides I don’t think she’s that interested in me and she does live on the opposite side of the country.”</p><p>Geography is mostly a non-factor as the Luthor family owns a private jet that can be ready at a moment’s notice. And there have been talks of relocating to the other coast as part of an expansion. “You’re lonely and she’s lonely, why does it need to be more complicated?”</p><p>“Don’t these things always end up a little complicated?”</p><p>Her mom ruffles the ends of her hair and laughs airily. “Only if you make it that way. It doesn’t have to go beyond the next few days, but you deserve to have fun with someone who won’t rip your heart to shreds.” The venom creeps into her voice, and Lena has an idea about which ex her mother is imagining. “Kara is a nice girl and from what Eliza says, she might need someone just like you to get her out of her funk.”</p><p>“I’ll think about it.”</p><p>“That’s all I ask honey.”</p><p>She didn’t need her mother to persuade when she was leaning towards pursuing Kara from the start, however, it does offer a small measure of relief that maybe going after something that interests for her once isn’t a mistake. She won’t mention to her mother that the talked help, not wanting to give her that kind of satisfaction.</p><p>“Now finish up, Alex was talking about heading to the beach.”</p><p>Lena freezes with the hand holding the fork caught mid-air as her mind stutters and then all she can think about is Kara in a swimtsuit. <em>Shit!</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><i> Next time </i><br/>"Holy shi-" she cuts herself off, eyes firmly on the figure popping out of the water. There is no way she is in fact human with all of those <i>muscles</i> and the way the water glides off her body.<br/>"Careful Lena, you're drooling." Her mouth snaps shut, though her eyes don't leave Kara as she moves further out, biceps flexing with each smooth stroke. She squeals when a stream of cold water trails down her back, turning to glare at Sam-- who smiles innocently. "Thought you could use some water to soothe your thirst."<br/>Her view is interrupted and it takes her a few seconds of searching, scanning the water for blonde hair before she finds her again, skillfully cutting through the water. She should ask Eliza what she fed Kara as a child because <i>hot damn</i>.</p><p> </p><p>You can follow me on <a href="https://jmoonrise.tumblr.com">
    <em>tumblr</em>.</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm going to blame this on having watched too many romcoms in my life.</p><p>Thirsty Lena has entered the chat.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lena stands in front of her open suitcase, mentally debating the merits of the selection of swimsuits she packed for the trip. Rarely does she find herself with the opportunity to wear them, so she stuffed them all in and was done with it. She figured have multiple options was preferable to having barely none.</p><p>She is pulled from her thoughts by a knock on the door. Her lips pull into a frown as she moves towards the door, opening it to find Sam on the other side. “I’ve decided against my better judgment to help you out,” she shrugs, pushing past Lena to take stock of her beachwear. “Kara is a boob girl. And you’ve always had some of the best tits, and I promise that’s not a come on.”</p><p>Lena smirks and gestures for Sam to pick out her swimsuit. “I haven’t heard any complaints.” Kara did seem to have a certain fondness for them. Her mouth and hands seemed permanently attached to the girls until they both collapsed in a heap, too exhausted to move anything.</p><p>Sam makes a face. “You’re absolutely disgusting and I can’t believe I’m helping you.”</p><p>“Why are you helping me?” An hour ago Sam was firm about Lena staying away from Kara, warning her she would have to tell Alex about it if she wanted to pursue anything. “I thought you were trying to stop me from further breaking bro code.”</p><p>“How much have you actually listened to Alex when she’s talked about her sister?”</p><p>In all fairness, Alex hardly ever brings her sister up in conversation, often too exhausted from her studies and work in a clinic to discuss her family, keeping everything light. She’s heard a few things over the years, but is ashamed to admit, knows less than a best friend should.</p><p>“I’ll assume from your face not much.” Sam chooses a mesh <a href="https://www.citybeach.com.au/mia-mesh-one-piece-swimsuit-1?itemId=3074457345619870747">black</a> one piece with a sweetheartneckline that really does highlight her best assets. The cups offer the girls a little extra lift and from the intense recalls she’s been having from the previous night, Kara definitely enjoyed her boobs. “She’s twenty-two in case you didn’t know and it’s been a rough few years for her. Alex is worried about her. She doesn’t date and spends most of her time locked in a physics lab. I want her to loosen up and it seems like you caught her interest. She’ll totally play hard to get and pretend she’s not into you.”</p><p>Sam pairs the swimsuit with with a white, terry cloth beach cover-up dress that still leaves little to the imagination. “I haven’t seen her this awkward with anyone since she was like sixteen, so you must have made an impression.”</p><p>“Maybe she was off her game,” she suggests, her mind conjuring alternative explanations for the way Kara fumbled with her words in Lena’s presence. “Sara was there after all.” She shrugs indifferently, pretending the idea of the two blondes together means nothing to her.</p><p>Sam laughs at her bluff and tosses her beachwear at her. “Keep telling yourself that, but her eyes kept flicking to you. Sara was a drunk one night stand and only happened because Kara was celebrating a huge win.”</p><p>Lena trails into the bathroom, mind stuck on the words ‘huge win’. She’s getting the impression she is definitely missing something about the blonde with how everyone dances around her, careful with their words, fearful they might say the wrong thing. Kara is a physics doctoral student, so Lena is more than confused as to what big win she would celebrate. She shucks her sundress, slipping into her one piece. She adjusts the straps and admires how it cups her breasts beautifully and how the suit conforms to the contours of her body. She may not be hard muscle like Kara, however her soft curves have attracted her fair share of suitors.</p><p>She slides into the dress, releasing her hair from the ponytail and giving it a shake. The waves appear effortlessly tousled and she smiles at her reflection. She applies a light coat of clear lipgloss before leaving the bathroom to find Sam on the edge of her bed, scrolling on her phone. She looks up when Lena enters and lets out a loud whistle. “Perfect, she won’t be able to resist you like that. You look like sex on a stick.”</p><p>Lena ignores the heat creeping into her cheeks at the unexpected compliment. “Thanks,” she mumbles shyly.</p><p>“Now let’s go bitch, I am ready to lay out in the sun.”</p><p>“Really? Are you sure you aren’t just looking for a reason to have your hands all over Alex in public?”</p><p>Sam trips, bumping into the bed as Lena cackles over her loss of composure. She turns to glare at Lena, though the effect is ruined by her rubbing her knee. “Anyone ever tell what an asshole you are Lena?”</p><p>“All the time,” she cracks a smile, grabbing her beach bag and her phone.</p><p>“How did you meet Kara anyway if you didn’t know who she was?”</p><p>“Believe it or not, the hotel bar.”</p><p>“Weird, you don’t even like blondes.”</p><p>Lena knows. There was a magnetism from the instant she caught sight of golden hair and cornflower blue eyes. “I know, but there was something about her. She was very suave.”</p><p>“Hell Kara barely goes for brunettes. Most of the women I’ve seen her with have been blonde except Diana.”</p><p>Lena’s stomach flips at the mention of other women. She is struggling to control the irrational jealousy flooding her system, unable to keep images of hundreds of women out of her head. Alex is waiting for them with Ruby in the lobby. “Nice outfit Luthor,” she comments, bypassing Lena to press her lips to the corner of Sam’s mouth. “It’ll just be us, my sister, Sara and her girlfriend, Lucy is hanging in the spa with her sister, James, Clark, and Winn have decided to do some sightseeing, and the <em>real</em> adults have decided to go shopping.”</p><p>“Kara has already gone down the beach. Sara said she’d meet us there later,” Alex rolls her eyes and makes a lewd hand gesture. Lena gets the idea very quickly, especially with her knowledge of Sara and her loose interpretation of time.</p><p>Lena nods, feigning disinterest about seeing Kara again. Their interactions so far that day left much to be desired from the moment Lena fell out of bed, embarrassing herself further by hiding behind the mattress as Kara dressed and quickly departed. She feels some regret for her treatment of the blonde, the cowardice she displayed was unlike her—she doesn’t think she’s losing her touch—and there is nothing left to do but attempt to salvage the situation.</p><p>She trails behind the lovesick brides with their arms wrapped around each other. Lena throws an arm over Ruby’s shoulders, giving them a tight squeeze. She can hardly believe Ruby is nine, still stuck on a pint sized Ruby toddling on unsteady feet after her mother when Sam went on a date. “How are you doing Rubes?”</p><p>Ruby tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m really excited about the move to National City. Aunt Kara will be super closer and she’s so smart and amazing.”</p><p>Some thing warm washes over Lena. The desire to get to know Kara increases with every positive word she hears about the girl. Someone her mother is willing to talk up to the extent she did must be at the very least someone worth knowing. “I guess I’ll have to get to know her and find out her weaknesses to displace her as your favorite aunt.” She bumps Ruby with her side, knocking her off balance, laughing when the girl attempts to do the same.</p><p>“Race you to the beach!” She calls out instead, already darting forward in a head start.</p><p>Lena sprints after her, laughter floating in the air as Sam and Alex try to trip her to give Ruby the lead. “Cheaters!!” She giggles.</p><p>“She’s our daughter,” Alex grins. “And you could use a little humbling Miss Overachiever.””</p><p>Lena scoffs, picking up speed. “Don’t be jealous,” she yells over her shoulder, gaining on Ruby, then slowing as they near the beach. Ruby throws up a fist, jumping in the air, chanting about her success and she totally ‘beat’ Lena.</p><p>“It’s okay,” she pats Lena’s shoulder sympathetically. “We all lose sometimes.”</p><p>“Oh you little—“</p><p>“Language,” Alex cuts in with a flick to Lena’s head.</p><p>“Settle down children,” Sam laughs, brushing past the two of them. “There’s Kara’s things.” She points to a spot a few yards away. Though her things are present, the blonde is nowhere in sight.</p><p>Lena scans the beach and the water in search of her familiar figure, tongue nearly falling out of her mouth when the blonde runs in their direction. </p><p>As of late, or since last night, Lena has come to believe she’s living in some sort of romcom because <em>holy fuck!</em> It’s as if the world is moving in slow motion around her. Kara’s muscles ripple as she runs, the sight of her toned thighs almost convinces her there’s some sort of higher power. Her body is sculpted to literal perfection and Lena pulls down her sunglasses to hide her blatant ogling.</p><p>She is human and useless as fuck when Kara approaches, waving hi at Lena before moving on when there is no forthcoming response. Her tongue is glued to the roof of her mouth, mind frozen on the white bikini with the little triangles and the bottoms that barely cover anything. Lena swallows, losing all ability to form words, her mind fills with images of peeling the barely there bikini off all that smooth, sun kissed skin. And okay, if she wants to avoid a different type of <em>wetness</em> she needs to alter the direction of her thoughts and quick.</p><p>Lena turns unpacking her towel and setting up her things into an unintentional show. She uses the time to keep her mind off the blonde three feet away, spread out on a towel, and ignores how she occupies the entire length of the towel with her long, muscular limbs on display. She bites her lip when Kara’s impossibly blue eyes meet hers. She fiddles with her book, nearly dropping it when she’s caught looking, thankful it is hot so she can pass off the pink in her cheeks as being heat related.</p><p>Sam coughs, breaking up their intense staring. “Kara, do you think you could take Ruby out?”</p><p>Kara sits up and smiles. “Sure, ready to go kiddo?”</p><p>“Hell yeah!” She jumps up, kicking sand everywhere as she runs to the shore.</p><p>Kara and Sam turn their glares on Alex, who holds her arms up innocently. Lena snickers. There is nothing innocent about her best friend. That’s one of Alex’s catchphrases and has been since they were in the fifth grade.</p><p>Kara hurries after her, and Lena gets her first opportunity to admire her backside. What the hell did this woman do that she was in pique physical shape? There is no way she is a simple doctoral student, and if that’s the case then Lena did it all wrong. Her back muscles flex and there’s just so much skin on display, it is impossible to look away. She remembers how those muscles moved under her touch—how firm they were—and Lena has to briefly close her eyes. When she opens them again, Kara is still jogging down the beach in her itty bitty bikini. It has to be illegal.</p><p>Before she disappears from view, Kara turns to wink cheekily at Lena, a saucy smirk smeared across her lips. She rotates away, splashing after Ruby in the water.</p><p>Lena chokes on air. Her brain refuses to process anything after that, completely short-circuiting over the blonde brazenly winking at her. Her body reacts to Kara, nipples hardening and there’s a slight dampness in her bottoms. She feels oddly exposed and it has nothing to do with the swimsuit under her cover-up, crossing her arms over chest, she turns to Sam and Alex—almost barfing when she catches them with their hands roaming shamelessly.</p><p>“You guys are gross,” she wrinkles her nose. She picks up her book with the intention to distract herself for a while. It’s some trashy romance novel she picked up the airport to waste time before her flight. She puts in her earbuds to block out the sounds of <em>someone</em> squealing and the crashing waves and presses play on her phone.</p><p>Half an hour later, she slams the book out of frustration with the protagonist. She glances to her side to discover Alex gone. Sam is on her back with her knees bent, flipping through a magazine. “Where’s your fiancée?”</p><p>“In the water, she said she was getting hot.”</p><p>Lena decides it is the perfect opportunity to share her hidden treasure trove of Alex stories. Alex and Lena mostly told the ones about all of their daring adventures, the time they got into a fight and beat up a boy who was twice as big as them. She doubts Alex mentioned any of Lena’s personal favorites.</p><p>“Okay so I feel as Alex’s best friend, I should share some of her more embarrassing moments like the time she chopped off half of her hair. It was uneven and her mom made her take her third grade photo with her hair like that as a lesson. She was tired of practicing only on her Barbies and wanted a bigger model. It probably works in Kara’s favor she was adopted after Alex decided Barbies were lame.”</p><p>Sam snorts, muffling the rest of her laughter with her hand. “The only thing she knows how to scissor is my face.”</p><p>Lena’s face contorts, lips thinning, turning her head away as she squeezes her eyes shut. The horror it has conjured in her mind will take weeks of therapy to erase. “Fuck you! Th-that’s revolting,” she shivers in disgust, shaking her head to dismiss the disturbing images. Sam’s cackles grow louder as she clutches her stomach.</p><p>“Y-y-your f-face,” she says between breaths, rolling all over her towel.</p><p>Lena glowers at her, sniffing disdainfully. “Yes, and somehow I’m the one who got called a child today.” She punches her friend. “I can’t believe you kiss your child with that mouth.”</p><p>Sam holds up her hand, taking another thirty seconds to compose herself and finally act like an adult again.</p><p>“Are you good now?”</p><p>“Oh yes, sorry but you should’ve seen your face. It was priceless.”</p><p>“I’ll take your word for it.” Lena means to add to her thought, but a ding from her phone draws her attention. She has a few texts from her mom that she’s dreading opening. Ever since her mom learned how to use GIFs and emojis, her texts are usually some combination of the two, and sometimes she has had to turn off her phone to get away from the woman.</p><p>Unlocking her phone, her messages pull up immediately, and she closes her eyes with a deep sigh. Her mom has sent her a variety of thirst GIFs ranging from a simple ‘you’re parched, bitch’ to ‘thirst alert’. Where her mom finds all of them, she prefers not to know, she just gawks incomprehensibly at her phone.</p><p>“What?” Sam asks, snatching the device from her hands, chortling when she realizes what she’s look at. “Oh my god!!! Your mom is one of my favorite human beings.” She scrolls through the dozen or so GIFs as Lena drops her head in shame. “How does she know you’ve got the hots for Kara?”</p><p>“Ugh, she saw me staring at her and apparently saw the two of us getting into the elevator last night. We weren’t exactly discreet.” They abandoned their game of foreplay in the elevator, lunging for each other, bodies colliding with a heated kiss. “She thinks she’s fucking hilarious.”</p><p>“Well discretion was never really your thing. Isn’t that what Andrea used to bitch about on Twitter?”</p><p>“You know she pronounces it as <em>Andrea</em>.” She corrects Sam with a fond smile, suppressing her own laughter. Andrea grew annoyed with Alex and Sam when they called her Andy. They made jokes about how everyone in their group had a boy’s name as their nickname including Lena who often went by Lee.</p><p>Sam rolls her eyes. “Sounds less pretentious my way, but sure, whatever. Besides, she’s still a bitch,” she adds. Sam and Alex made their disdain for her ex-girlfriend known, cancelling at the last minute a few times, citing schoolwork or trouble finding a sitter. Lena knew it was bullshit, but refused to call them out on it. In truth, she kind of grew annoyed with the other woman at times when she acted entitled and superior, not appreciating how she looked down on Lena’s friends.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“She tried to ruin you online with all of her passive aggressive bullshit with the ‘don’t spread shit if you don’t know shit’ crap. Jack doesn’t even like her, and he likes nearly every woman to cross his path, especially if they’re incredibly hot.”</p><p>“She was a beautiful,” she sighs wistfully.</p><p>“I thought brunettes were your thing.” She commented on Lena's tastes earlier. Her going after a blonde was out of the ordinary, but hardly as shocking as Sam is making it out to be. So most of her girlfriends (or basically all of them) were brunettes, she could change. She finds Kara beyond gorgeous and thinks maybe she's been going after the wrong type of women all along.</p><p>“They normally are, but last night in the bar, I couldn’t not talk to her. She has corny jokes and they made my shitty day not so shitty.”</p><p>Sam hums happily. “That sounds like Kara. She is normally a little ray of sunshine.” She stares out to the water, eyes lighting up when they find Alex and Ruby.</p><p>She does a little searching of her own after realizing the blonde was nowhere in sight when there is movement in the water.</p><p>“Holy shi-"she cuts herself off, eyes firmly on the figure popping out of the water. There is no way she is in fact human with all of those <em>muscles</em> and the way the water glides off her body.</p><p>"Careful Lena, you're drooling." Her mouth snaps shut, though her eyes don't leave Kara as she moves further out, biceps flexing with each smooth stroke. She squeals when a stream of cold water trails down her back, turning to glare at Sam-- who smiles innocently. "Thought you could use some water to soothe your thirst.”</p><p>Her view is interrupted and it takes her a few seconds of searching, scanning the water for blonde hair before she finds her again, skillfully cutting through the water. She should ask Eliza what she fed Kara as a child because <em>hot damn</em>. “You’re a real fucking comedian.”</p><p>“And you’re real fucking obvious and so useless. I mean geez, all you’ve got to do is talk to the girl. It’s not that hard.”</p><p>“Says you,” she huffs, eyes glazing over as Kara fluidly cuts through the waves, her movements graceful and mesmerizing. “You and Alex have been together for like ever.”</p><p>“You won’t be alone forever,” Sam softens her tone, throwing an arm around Lena’s shoulders. “Who knows, maybe you’ve already met Miss Right.”</p><p>“Maybe,” she murmurs, gaze intent on following the form in the water. She loves the clearness of the water and how blue it is. “Where did all those muscles come from?” She mumbles, her voice inaudible as she continues staring.</p><p>“Do you seriously not know?” It is the tone that captures her attention and she turns to Sam with a frown on her face. The amusement in her brown orbs irks her. So there was something about the blonde people were navigating around. “Dude, she’s got three Olympic medals for figure skating. Don’t you remember Alex going to Sochi? Why else would she go to Russia?”</p><p>“I didn’t pay much attention to the annoying kid tagging along. Sometimes she was there and other times she wasn’t. I know she did ballet and Alex complained about how often her mom was at the rink with her sister. I didn’t know she went anywhere with it.” Then again if she had listened to Alex’s stories over the years and accounts of her travels, this would be old news to her.</p><p>“Oh Lena,” she shakes her head. “She’s got like a lot of medals and went to the Olympics twice and was favored to go again in two years. She only seriously stopped skating in the last year and a half, and if you want the full story you’ll have to ask her.” She mimes zipping her lips.</p><p>“You’re no fun,” she pouts, pulling away from Sam with a light shove. Sam wants her to talk to Kara and she’s opened a Pandora’s Box. If Lena wants to learn about Kara, she’ll have to get it straight from the horse’s mouth moving forward.</p><p>“She hasn’t seen you in your swimsuit. Go out there and show off your hot body. Trust me, she won’t be able to take her eyes off of you. The girl loves curves. You know I’m pretty sure she used to crush really hard on you. I caught her reading a few articles about you once and she was blushing so hard as she stuttered over her words.” <em>Interesting. “</em>You’re Lena <em>fucking</em> Luther.”</p><p>“You’re right. I am Lena <em>fucking</em> Luthor.”</p><p>Lena’s mother said the same thing earlier, well not the bit about her reading up on Lena, but the crush thing. The idea of her crushing on Lena is something she can use to her advantage. “Well there’s only one way to soothe this thirst.” She is on her feet instantly, strutting confidently towards the water, headed straight for Kara. Lena keeps moving—never giving herself a moment to falter—until she’s standing before the blonde.</p><p>“Hi.” She could smack herself for her inelegance.</p><p>Kara’s forehead crinkles as she grins at Lena—albeit she looks a little confused by her sudden presence. “Hi,” she returns.</p><p>“I’m sorry about this morning. I was a little off my game.”</p><p>“That’s okay,” she brushes off the apology. “It wasn’t the worst morning after I’ve had and no one saw me do my walk of shame, so I’d say it was mostly a success.”</p><p>Lena hones in on the way Kara keeps her eyes level with Lena’s. They never drift lower and Lena has to give her some credit for it. “It was a dick move though.”</p><p>She shrugs. “It is what it is.”</p><p>“I’d like to make it up to you.”</p><p>“How?” And Lena hears how her voice lowers an octave, giving it a slightly smoky sound.</p><p>Lena bounces on her toes. “Dinner with me?”</p><p>Kara blinks in surprise, eyes dropping to Lena’s lips before quickly meeting her eyes again. The intent is there, steady and strong in her gaze, and Lena jolts when she sees the hungry, naked desire on Kara’s face. “Um,” she sucks in her lower lip. Lena tracks the motion with dreams of biting that lip and soothing the sting with her tongue, their bodies pressed together with no barriers separating them. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”</p><p>Lena is less than surprised. Sam warned her and it secretly thrills her. While her words are saying one thing, her body language says something entirely different from the way she leans into Lena and she’s caught blue eyes flicking to her chest. Lena smirks when their eyes connect again as a pretty shade of pink dusts Kara’s cheeks. <em>Busted. </em>“Why not?” She purrs, fingers trailing up Kara’s arms.</p><p>Kara follows it, gulping nervously when Lena traces tiny circles into her skin. “Uh,” she says incoherently. “Y-you’re Al’s best friend.” Though that seems to mean as little to her at the moment as it does to Lena as her hands join the fray, one wrapping around Lena’s waist, while the other dips lower in the water.</p><p>“That didn’t matter last night.”</p><p>“I didn’t know who you were last night.”</p><p>Lena leans in closer, able to hear Kara’s rapid intake of breath. “Liar,” she whispers, holding back a moan as Kara’s hand brushes her thigh. Kara is no longer the only one having trouble controlling her breathing.</p><p>“Prove it,” she taunts, one finger pressing against Lena’s clit.</p><p>“Hey! What are you guys doing?”</p><p>Lena represses the urge to flip off Alex for her interruption and overall poor timing when things were starting to get good. “Nothing,” she quickly replies as Kara wiggles her finger where Lena is most sensitive. She bites back a moan, glaring at the blonde and her stupid, sexy smirk.</p><p>Kara removes her hand and pretends to help steady Lena as a wave crashes into them. “Lena lost her balance. She realized she was out of her depth.” Blue eyes darken and damn, the dark color is hot. Everything about the woman is incredibly hot and it’s unfair.</p><p>“Okay, well come on, we were going to decide what to get for lunch.”</p><p>“I know what I’d like to eat,” Kara’s eyes widen as Lena steps closer. “There’s something I’d really love to taste again.” She slides her hand under Kara’s chin, taking care to gently snap her mouth shut.</p><p>She turns away, beginning her trek back to shore, feeling Kara’s heated gaze on her the entire way. She feels a tiny burst of pride erupt in her chest. The attraction is mutual and that’s a start. Lena cranes her neck to return Kara’s saucy wink from earlier—the one that had Lena flustered—and crosses her fingers that her’s has a similar effect on the other woman.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You can find me on <a href="https://jmoonrise.tumblr.com">
    <em>tumblr</em>.</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Thirsty Lena welcomes thirsty Kara into the chat.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know! It's been a while.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*<b>knock* <em>*</em>knock* *knock*</b></p><p>A series of rapid knocks has Kara turning off the shower, pouting at the early termination of her relieving some tension after the events of the beach.</p><p>Kara exits the bathroom with a frown, quickening her pace to reach the door. “I’m coming, I’m coming,” she calls out when the knocks start again.</p><p>She pulls open the door with a loud, annoyed huff, catching Alex mid-knock. She glares at her sister for the incessant knocking, that disrupted her shower. “Geez Alex, it’s not as if I didn’t miss the first twenty.” Alex flushes and enters the room, cheeks coloring pink with embarrassment at her sister’s barely covered state.</p><p>“Sorry,” she mumbles. “You were taking too long.”</p><p>“Golly, it can’t be because maybe I was naked when you first started knocking.” The shower was exactly what she needed to wash off the grime from her flight, her late night activities, and the beach. Her hair clung to the skin of her back, having no time to try and wring some of excess water. “Where’s the fire?” She asks.</p><p>“No fire,” Alex says. “But… Sam and I have decided to stay in for lunch. Ruby is napping and we kind of want to enjoy the time as a family.”</p><p>Kara swallows back her emotions. She’s happy for her sister. She really is. However, a tiny sliver of her is envious. Alex is forming a new family and her time for Kara is limited as it is. “Oh um… yeah that’s fine. I can eat in my room.” She eats alone most of the time. She can survive on her own without her sister to hold her hand like when they were kids.</p><p>Alex shakes her head. “No, I was thinking you and Lena could grab some lunch together. Everyone else is gone for the day. The two of you seemed to get on at the beach earlier, and I thought it would be a good opportunity for you to get to know each other better.”</p><p>“Oh I don’t know.” Kara hesitates, chewing her lip thoughtfully. Part of her is intrigued by the suggestion of spending more time with Lena, amused by her antics, and so fucking attracted to her. Lena surprised her, different from the women she normally chose, coming completely out of left field.</p><p>“Come on, please, for me? I feel bad.” Alex pouts, pushing her bottom lip further out, softening her eyes, and Kara feels herself caving.</p><p>Kara sighs. “I suppose.”</p><p>“And didn’t you used to have a massive crush on her?”</p><p>“N-no, th-that was like years ago.” Her face grows hot under Alex’s knowing smirk. It was no secret Kara thought Lena was the prettiest girl when they were younger. She often said she wanted to marry her when they were grown ups— of course, avoiding announcing that in front of Lena. She barely managed to speak any words around her, constantly stuttering and stumbling over her words, flustered in the older girl’s presence. Lena made her shy and dumb, too struck by Lena’s beauty. Her parents thought it was cute how nervous she got, or her eagerness to answer the door when she knew it was Lena.</p><p>Granted, she was there for her sister, but it didn’t stop her from shyly peeking at the girl from under her lashes, smiling goofily when Lena so much as flashed a grin in her direction. She cried after Lena went to boarding school— her first broken heart.</p><p>Every now and again, Lena pops into her mind, and she fails to restrain her curiosity, fingers already typing in Lena’s name in the search bar. Thank Google the Luthor last name is prominent and Lena is a certified genius. She rarely stared at images of Lena for too long, feeling too much like a voyeur, but she did keep up on all of her innovations and her success with her family company.</p><p>Seeing her in the bar was kismet, though she doesn’t think her intention was to sleep with her. At least, she doesn’t think it was.</p><p>“Sure, but I’m just saying you could be cute together.”</p><p>Kara rolls her eyes. Her sister says this, but also avoids bringing up finding her and Sara the morning after she won her gold medal. Alex’s loud screams when she entered Sara’s room were loud enough to wake the dead. She refused to look them in the eyes, flushing a dark red whenever she saw them within walking distance of each other.</p><p>“She’s single and ready to mingle.”</p><p>“You’re an embarrassment. Be thankful Sam finds your shitty, dad humor hilarious.”</p><p>“Tough crowd.” Kara glares at Alex, punching her in the arm. “I have a great sense of humor.”</p><p>Kara scoffs. Alex inherited their dad’s sense of humor and it showed. All of her favorite movies were dad type movies like <em>Stepbrothers</em> and <em>Napoleon Dynamite</em>. “Keep on believing that,” she says, brushing passed her sister to the bathroom. She stares at her reflection, lips pursed at the wet drowned look she’s sporting. She shoots another glare at her sister for the interruption.</p><p>Thirty minutes later, she sets the hair drying down, her hair tumbles down her back in loose waves. “You look awfully cute for someone who says she isn’t interested.”</p><p>“Hey! I’m on vacation and most of the time I’m covered in layers of clothes. I spend so much of my time in drafty labs or at the gym. I like pulling out some of my more fun pieces.” Also she noticed Lena staring at her abs, and she’s going to use that to her advantage. The white halter crop top covers half of her torso and shows off her arms beautifully from the muscular curve of her shoulders to her prominent biceps, so Lena won’t miss it if she happens to flex a couple of times. She pairs the shirt with a floral mini skirt, ready to put all of her best assets on display. Lena liked her legs too if all the attention she paid to them the previous night were an indication.</p><p>She almost hopes Lena dresses with her in mind. That swimsuit was— Kara has no words to describe what it did to her, thoroughly wrecking her ability to function. The fit was perfect, practically painted onto her body and Kara won’t deny her eyes may have zeroed in on Lena’s boobs. She had to reboot when Lena began to approach her, eyes a brilliant green and full of determination. She was a woman who knew what she wanted and Kara realized too late exactly what that was. Their little games in the water left her hot and bothered, spending extra time in the shower to settle her raging libido, which is the reason her sister caught her off guard.</p><p>Alex holds up her hands. “I’m not judging you.”</p><p>“You’re starting to sound a lot like mom.”</p><p>Alex gasps, punching Kara in the arm. “You take that back.”</p><p>“Sorry Eliza, what was that?”</p><p>“Kara Marie Danvers, I will fight you.”</p><p>“Mom, is that you?”</p><p>“You think you’re so clever.”</p><p>Kara grins. “I am.”</p><p>Alex grumbles incoherently under her breath.</p><p>Kara applies some mascara to her dark lashes and swipes a little lip gloss across her lips. She admires her appearance, especially the natural glow of her skin from her time at the beach. She’s darkened a shade and the shirt gives her more of a sun kissed look. “Why are you pushing this so much anyway?”</p><p>“I know you were worried about coming and the stress you’ve been under. I want you to have people to talk to and have some fun. Hanging out in your hotel room by yourself is the opposite of that, so go on.” Alex makes a shooing noise as she flaps her hands at Kara.</p><p>Kara can take a hint. She slides on her sandals, grabbing her wallet, sunglasses, and room key as they leave.</p><p>“Sam told Lena to meet in the lobby, so she should be down there.”</p><p>Kara nods and looks away from her sister, lest she notices the unconcealed excitement at the prospect of spending time with Lena. She was determined to ignore her and treat their night together as a one off. The awkward breakfast swayed her to keep her distance, and then Lena had to wear that infernal swimsuit. Did the woman know how good she looked? Kara did and her eyes were glued to Lena as she read, focused on her taut neck, the sweat pooling down her throat, her lips mouthing the words in her book, the cute crinkle of her nose when she giggled. Kara was weak and caught under her spell, unable to resist the effects.</p><p>She was eager to go in the water and cool off, her body radiating heat and a different type of wetness was pooling in her bottoms.</p><p>The confidence surged through her, boldness pounded in her veins at the feel of eyes on her back, and she had to turn back—had to see for herself. There was Lena ogling her, not even hiding it. Kara winked. She fucking winked at her, lips curling into a devious smirk as she sprinted to the water. She felt that penetrating green stare follow her through the water.</p><p>Kara shivers, remembering the heat of Lena’s gaze, the adorable hitch in her breath as Kara’s fingers pressed into her, only for Alex’s voice to dump a bucket of ice on them. Her sister had that effect.</p><p>The elevator doors slide open and she steps out, eyes searching the crowd when they land on Lena. She’s on the phone, not paying much attention to her surroundings, giving Kara the chance to mentally prepare herself.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> But damn does she look so good. Her white capris are fitted and hug the curve of her hips and ass. Kara almost dissolves into a puddle right there, imaging sliding her hands into those back pockets, cupping Lena's ass with her hands, the filthy, pretty sounds that would escape those tantalizing lips full of temptation. The shirt is a flowy green tank and compliments her porcelain skin and her sinful green eyes. It's official. The woman is trying to destroy her. </span></p><p><em>You can do this. So what if you used to crush on her… hard… or that you might still have a crush. You’ve got this. </em>“I’ve got this,” she mumbles, approaching Lena.</p><p>“—love you too and I’ll see you when I get back.” Lena’s chest rumbles with laughter. “Sure we can go out to that Italian place. Yeah,” she says softly, almost dreamily.</p><p>Kara freezes. Did Lena have someone? She might be keeping it a secret and Alex didn’t know.</p><p>As if feeling eyes on her, Lena turns, her eyes warm and happy when they fall on her. She holds up a finger for Kara as she finishes up her call. “Hi,” she greets. Kara doesn’t miss the breathiness in her voice. Her cheeks are pink from their time at the beach. She is adorable and sexy, the whole package if she’s being honest. How all of this perfection co-exists in one woman, she’ll never know.</p><p>“Hi,” she returns, her smile growing. “So I guess it’s just us.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lena breathes, voice going all raspy. “That’s fine with you, right?”</p><p>Kara bobs her head.</p><p>“I found this cute little cafe a few blocks from here.”</p><p>“Sure,” Kara agrees. “I can go for anything. I’m starving.”</p><p>They head out, keeping a little distance as they walk, hands occasionally brushing. Kara’s cheeks are dusted in pink by the time they reach the cafe and none of the color is from the sun.The cafe is located off the main strip of road, nestled back a bit with a cute dine-in area. Kara orders the “Double B.” L.T., while Lena opts for a build your own veggie sandwich. They both order smoothies, Kara choosing one with a strawberry and banana base, while Lena picks something green.</p><p>“It’s a vacation Lena,” she says when they settle at their table. “You can eat healthy all the time.”</p><p>Lena laughs, placing her chin on her hand. “I don’t want to deviate too much. I ate very unlike myself at breakfast.”</p><p>“Come on you’re in literal paradise, it’s not like you get to visit Maui every week. Live a little,” Kara says. “I eat whatever catches my fancy wherever I go.”</p><p>Lena knits her brows, tilting her head, squinting at Kara. “How did your coaches feel about that?”</p><p>“Oh um,” she falters at the unexpected question. “To be honest, I usually waited until after the competition to stuff my face, but if you’re wondering, no I didn’t ever have any issues with food.” Kara knew too many girls she had competed with from a young age suffering from eating disorders. “If I wanted to be the best, then my body needed proper nutrients.”</p><p>Lena clears her throat, shifting, and then sitting back. Their food comes out a few minutes later.</p><p>“Can I ask something?” Kara asks, fingers fidgeting with the lid of her smoothie. Lena nods her assent. “Why didn’t you like me when we were kids?”</p><p>“It has less to do with you and more to do with me. I didn’t know you well enough to have much of an opinion one way or the other. I did listen to Alex’s complaints, but I was also kind of jealous.”</p><p><em>Of what?</em> Goes unspoken.</p><p>Lena stares down at her sandwich, skin flushing pink to the tips of her ears. It is disarming and endearing. “Before you, Alex and I called each other sister. We met in kindergarten and our bond grew from there. Alex was an only child, so I really was the closest thing she had to a sibling. And then your parents adopted you. It hit me that Alex had a real sister, not someone she called sister because there was no one else.”</p><p>Kara reaches across the table, covering Lena’s hand with her own. “Alex talked about you all the time when you went off to boarding school. She missed you like crazy and would design her Saturdays around the time you would call. I am her sister, but you’ll always be her best friend.”</p><p>They’ve crossed into dangerous territory, <em>this</em>— whatever it is between them— having the potential to become something beyond a one night stand. The possibility of it scares and thrills Kara. She likes Lena and if it goes south between them, it wouldn’t effect only the two of them. There’s Alex and Sam to consider, their families, so Kara teeters the lines, remaining indecisive about which direction she’ll lean. “We should eat.” Kara takes her hand back, staring at it as if she’s been burned. The tension is palpable, buzzing around them, increasing each time they lock gazes.</p><p>Kara keeps her bites small, desperate to keep her mouth full, aware of her proclivity for voicing her thoughts out loud and embarrassing herself. Even with the slower pace, she manages to finish before Lena.</p><p>Lena is intent on not looking at her and it gives Kara time to further study her features. At this range, she can pick up other details she missed from the other night, brain too clogged by the alcoholic haze. Lena has a nice, strong jawline, complimentary to her face structure. The pink adorning her cheeks accentuates the curve, and Kara flushes in remembrance of her lips trailing hotly over those delicate cheeks. Her lips dragging down the contours of her neck, tongue swirling over the freckle on her neck, and mouth attached at the juncture of her neck and shoulder, sucking vigorously on her flesh— delighting in watching the skin purple.</p><p>“You’re really hot.” The words slip from her mouth without a thought. “I-I mean it’s um it’s really hot outside.” She backtracks, but it’s too late. The damage is done. She bites her tongue, cursing it for having no control.</p><p>She’s given Lena the keys to the kingdom.</p><p>Lena preens, her gaze drifting up lasciviously, her lips curling into a grin. Kara’s skin erupts in goosebumps. They both know exactly what Kara meant.</p><p>“Yes,” Lena says, her voice lowering an octave, lips wrapping deliciously around the straw, intent on making Kara lose her damn mind. She has to know what’s doing to Kara. “It is quite <em>hot</em> and I am really <em>thirsty.”</em></p><p><em>Oh god!</em> She thinks she could cum from the sound of Lena’s voice alone. She crosses her legs under the table, squeezing them tightly to hold it in, heat pools in her belly, and Lena continues to stare at her, eyes an inky green that speak of exactly what she wants to do to Kara.</p><p>Kara is very willing to let her do those things, oh man, she really wants Lena to do those things to her. The toe curling, finger clenching, voice losing orgasms that never ended almost killed her, but that dark head between her legs was what pushed her over the edge. <em>Murdered by gay</em> is what they would have written on her death certificate after Lena finished with her, left her unable to move— all she could do was babble incoherently as Lena sucked Kara’s essence off her fingers, the woman sex incarnate.</p><p>Kara is positive if she looked up the definition of sex, Lena’s picture would be right there. That’s how extremely talented and just <em>good</em> she was. Sex wasn’t a sprint, it was a whole ass marathon, and Kara barely survived, huffing and puffing, breathing labored and body broken. The alcohol had long since fled her system and she was running on pure sex and adrenaline at that point.</p><p>“Um, uh y-yeah, um d-do y-you n-n-need a refill?” She stumbles over her words, the heat rising in her body each time she meets Lena’s eyes.</p><p>Lena leans back, pulling her aviators down. Kara senses her eyes still on her. “I’m good for now. I’ve got a different drink in mind.”</p><p>Kara slowly realizes she is the one out of her depth. She naively believed she gained the upper hand in the water, but Lena is the world champion in the art of seduction. She could teach classes on the subject. Her experience exceeded Kara’s and that’s discomfiting with Kara usually in the position of the seductress.</p><p>She gulps, throat bobbing and constricting tightly. “Y-you know I’m uh very, very uh thirsty— no I am parched, yeah uh I’m going to go get a lemonade. Sure, you don’t want anything?” What the hell is happening to her? Her smooth exterior from earlier has faded and she’s been reduced to awkward and fumbling.</p><p>The corners of Lena’s mouth tick up into a barely there smile, lips twitching with amusement as they curve further up. The sight is alluring and Kara wants to kiss it right off her face. “No, I am good.”</p><p>“Okay, I’ll be back.” She flees the scene of her murder, reeling with how <em>uncool</em> she was. She hasn’t been that clumsy in her approach in years. She heads straight for the bathroom after ordering, splashing some water on her warm skin. Her cheeks are flushed and hot. “Get it together,” she coaches herself. “You can’t let her win.” She collects her drink and struts out of the cafe to their table with confidence. The tripping over air ruins her return and she slides into the seat with ruddy cheeks. When is she going to stop humiliating herself in front of Lena Luthor? This is beyond pathetic.</p><p>“You doing alright Kara?” The movement of her lips as she sounds out Kara’s name does nothing to temper the fire trickling up her spine.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m good. So are you dating someone?”</p><p>“Why? You interested?”</p><p>Kara widens her eyes. “No uh I just heard you on the phone earlier and it sounded intimate,” she finishes lamely.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> “I would feel awful if I helped you cheat.”</span></p><p>Lena scrutinizes her, dark brows drawing together over her aviators before smoothing out. “Are you jealous?” She asks with a teasing lilt. </p><p>“No— of course not, why would I be?” She is.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> She dislikes the idea of Lena with someone else. She can't imagine why she feels so strongly about it. She barely knows her. </span></p><p>“Don’t worry Kara, it was just my brother. I don’t believe in cheating.”</p><p>Kara releases a breath, shoulders falling incrementally, her tightly coiled muscles relaxing. “Oh Lex, right?” She imbues some levity into her tone.</p><p>“Yes, he couldn’t make it. I love him, but he’s kind of an idiot. And I’m glad he’s taken a step back from the company.”</p><p>Kara recalls some of the headlines about Lex and his playboy ways. He is nearly as smart as his sister, but he lacked finesse and maturity. “So…”</p><p>“So,” Lena returns, playing with her straw, eyes fixed on Kara behind her sunglasses.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> The corners of her lips curl into a sultry smirk and Kara hates how perfect her stupid face is. </span></p><p>“Do you want to Netflix and Chill for a few hours? There’s the rehearsal tonight, but we’ve got some hours until then.”</p><p>Lena laughs, full on laughs and Kara pouts. Her suggestion wasn’t that funny. Lena reaches over, smoothing out the pout, her touch tender and light. Kara’s lips tingle with anticipation. “The thing is I think you mean that ironically. Do you know what Netflix and Chill means?” She asks, humor injected in her tone.</p><p>Kara opens her mouth to respond, someone else answering the question for her. “It’s a hook up term.”</p><p>Lena’s face is horrified and Kara understands why. She recognizes the voice and grimaces in response, memories from three years ago creeping into her head. She twists in her chair, met by the beaming faces of both of their mothers.</p><p>“What I’m down with the kids,” Lillian exclaims when Lena continues to stare at her with a combination of  incredulity, embarrassment, and fear.</p><p>And to make it worse, Kara’s mother opens her own mouth to contribute to the conversation. “Oh Kara,” she crows happily, eyes moving rapidly between Kara and Lena, wearing a knowing grin. “I didn’t know you and Lena would be hanging out. Do you remember when you had that adorable crush on her?” Eliza turns her gaze to Lena and Kara begs the earth to open a sinkhole to swallow her whole, anything to save her from the torture of her mom dredging up mortifying childhood stories. “She used to say she was going to marry you. She was devastated when you went off to school and cried her little eyes out.”</p><p>“Oh my god, I’m having a fever dream,” she mutters, burying her face in her hands. It’s the only explanation that makes an iota of sense for what's happening.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Her mother should know how to read a room by now. The woman was in her fifties for crying out loud.</span></p><p>“That’s so cute! You were the cutest kid to walk through my front door. You used to come over to show me all your routines and asked about Lena all the time.” It got worse. “You looked at her school picture all the time.”</p><p>“Mom!” Lena whines.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Aren’t you supposed to say your own kids are the most adorable?”</p><p>“Oh Lena honey, you and your brother were monsters. You were cute for about a year and then you got very comfortable.” She turns to Eliza with a conspiratorial smile. “Remember all the trouble Alex and Lena got into back in the day?”</p><p>“Feels like yesterday,” Eliza says wistfully, eyes misting over. “They tried to start a revolution in their kindergarten class over the forced nap time. That was our first visit to the principal’s office. They sat their proudly covered in paste and glitter. The other kids had been collected and we were the only parents they really wanted to talk to.”</p><p>Kara snorts indelicately as Lena mumbles under her breath. “Well, we were just leaving and heading back to the hotel. So um… see you at the rehearsal?” She subtly jerks her head to Lena, widening her eyes, waiting for Lena to get the message. They need to get out of there before their moms decide to really go down memory lane. Seriously, couldn’t her mom save the stories for tonight and tomorrow? It is her sister’s wedding and she feels with all of the attention should come some kind of mortification. It’s really only fair at this point.</p><p>“Kara’s right. We’ve had quite the day, and I could use a nap. I’ll see you later mom and it was nice seeing you Eliza.” Lena kisses her mom on the cheek and Kara hugs her mom, flashing Lillian a pretty smile.</p><p>They book it the hell out of there, falling over each other laughing. “God, she’s like Mrs. George.”</p><p>“I’m not like a regular mom. I’m a cool mom.”</p><p>“Exactly,” Lena giggles. “She’s so embarrassing.”</p><p>“I know the feeling. My mom isn’t any better.”</p><p>They reach the elevator, which opens as soon as they push the up button. “Can I get your number?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Kara says coquettishly. “Are you going to send dick pics?”</p><p>“Give me some credit, I am Lena Luthor after all. I have way better pictures to send than dick pics.”</p><p>“Well okay.” She types her number into Lena’s phone, cheesy smile pasted on her face as she walks away from Lena. Her phone buzzes in her hand. She unlocks it, laughing merrily when she realizes what Lena has sent her. She turns to her and Lena winks at her. Kara bites her lip, trying to contain her giddiness, and shakes her head at Lena’s silliness. “So cheeky.” She got her dick pics.</p><p>
  
</p><p>The game was afoot.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Let me know what you thought and if you want more of our two fav thirsty women.</p><p>This chapter was so much fun to write. The cafe they're at is Cafe Cafe Maui and the food and drinks are delicious. Totally recommend if you ever find yourself in Lahaina. </p><p>Find me on <a href="https://jmoonrise.tumblr.com">
    <em>tumblr</em></a>. I’ll be posting extra content over there for this story.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Lena finds herself falling</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay! So this is a monster sized chapter that I've added to about a million times, almost double what I thought it would be. I hope you enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lena spends the afternoon exchanging a flurry of<a href="https://moon-mia.tumblr.com/post/630098964285374464"> texts</a> with Kara, finding her delightful and charming, and the exact opposite of her sister. She’s open but a bit guarded, however she navigates the questions Lena throws at her well. She learns a lot about the blonde and while her brain dismisses the instant connection, the wild fluttering of butterflies in her stomach and the furious thumping of her heart against her ribcage beg her to reconsider.</p><p>She hadn’t known much about her when they were kids, following Alex’s lead in regards to her new sister, and altogether ignoring the blonde’s attempts to hang out with them. It’s amazing what time and perspective can do for a person. Lena wasn’t the only one who grew up in that time. She’s fully able to view Kara as her own person, not an extension of the Danvers’ family or Alex’s pesky sister. The age gap between them then was too much and they were in different stages of life. Now they’re able to stand as equals.</p><p>Her eyes quickly read over the words Kara sends and she’s engrossed with their conversation, curious about Kara’s skating career and the impact of its’ loss in her life.</p><p>Sports weren’t an interest of the Luthor children, neither child had much of an aptitude for them. Lex gravitated to biochemistry and business, while Lena found herself wrapped up in the world of engineering. Her bachelor’s was an electrical engineering and computer science degree, while her first master’s was Engineering in Computation and Cognition. For her Ph.D she did Biological Engineering. Lena Luthor was determined to change the world and to put her brains to some use for bettering the planet and if her family’s company happened to profit, who was she to complain about it.</p><p>With their sights focused on their academic pursuits, neither Lena nor her brother cared much about extra curricular activities. She did T-ball one spring at the bequest of Alex and soccer another year, ultimately deciding her talents lay elsewhere, far from the world of athletics. Her hand eye coordination was lacking— or non-existent as Alex often teased, finding great joy that Lena was bad at something.</p><p>So it was definitely far from the norm when she decided to do a little reconnaissance on Kara. She knew little about the nuances and scoring of figure skating, but found herself intrigued by the enigma calling herself Kara Danvers. She connects her laptop to the hotel Wi-Fi, navigating to the Youtube homepage, fingers typing out the blonde’s name, clicking the first on the drop down list, surprised by all of the options presented to her. There are a variety of videos featuring the blonde and she starts at the top, the video titled <b>Kara Danvers Olympics 2018- FS</b>. She has no idea what that means, but leans back into the freshly made bed to watch. Her attention is immediately captured.</p><p>
  <em>‘Up next is Kara Danvers representing the United States.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kara skates out onto the ice with a serene expression, smiling for the cameras as she does a lap around the ice. Her wintery blue dress brings out the blueness in her eyes, the sheer sleeves shine under the bright lights, and the V-neckline is modest. Her hair is pinned up and her make-up accentuates her features, applied a touch heavier than what she might usually wear for the cameras and the crowd to make out her face.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I gotta say it, this is the one I’ve been waiting for,” the male commentator begins, voice giddy and teetering with nerves. “Kara is a two time National Champion and current World Champion, two years running. In Sochi, she came away with the silver, and she told me then she was going to come back and take it all.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Do you think that’s weighing on her?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Kara often says before a competition she clears her mind and forgets about all of her wins and losses. For her, it is best to focus on the moment, otherwise she opens herself up to doubts. She would rather go out there as if it’s the first time she’s ever done the routine.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“For her opening jump, she’s going to do a triple axel.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“She really is one of those rare skaters. She puts everything she has into the performance and is an amazing technician. She gets great height and reach back on her jumps. She’s hungry for it and has been working on and off the rink since Sochi to get even better. She was the silver medalist there at fifteen. At every practice this week, she has been on point and focused, never faltering or missing a jump. Her coach had to tell her to pace herself and actually leave the rink because she was so intent on practicing.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“She’s got a big triple triple here, triple lutz and a triple toe, that looked flawless. She didn’t blink and went right for it.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“She’s so good at remaining relaxed under pressure.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kara floats across the ice, face reflective of the transitions in the music, her whole body telling a story as the song builds up. It seems as if the whole world has disappeared and it’s just Kara and the ice. She’s incredibly expressive and her movements are an extension of that. It appears effortless as her body flows with the rhythm of the music.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Kara is graceful and really shows a maturity beyond her years. We said that four years ago in Sochi, and it still holds true today. She said she likes to tell a story with her performances, finding an emotional connection to her own life. The song comes from her favorite movie Howl’s Moving Castle, The Boy Who Swallowed a Star.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“She said she identified with the protagonist and fell for someone who didn’t even notice she existed. When she saw the movie, she fell in love with it right away and thought this song might work for a routine. She waited until she could get the perfect routine for it and that just happened to be this year.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Her next big element is a triple flip, half loop, triple salchow. Watch how clean she does it. It looked great to me.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Perfect, I saw nothing wrong with that.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kara spins her way across the ice, eyes focused and determined as she performs several combinations, never once faltering or showing any kind of exertion in her movements.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“She’s hitting everything and looks so calm. It’s astounding. You would think she would be internally reeling, but nothing fazes her.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“She says she goes out there every time and lays it all out there. She never wants to look back and think, I didn’t put my best effort into a performance.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Wow that triple flip, double toe was absolutely gorgeous.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The music starts to wind down down and Kara is skating into place, lining herself up for her final jump..</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Her last jump is a triple salchow and she nailed it!” The male commentator crows.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kara floats back to the center, for the last twenty seconds, spinning so quickly, it is difficult to believe a human capable of such a feat. Her toe pick digs into the ice at the end of her combination four spin, and she holds out her arms, a huge, tremulous smile gracing her lips. She starts brushing away tears, overwhelmed with what she did. Her face is flushed and her eyes are bright and shiny.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Did she just do that? That was incredible. All of those components were executed beautifully. She attacked every jump, her edges were so clean. And that triple axle was just wow!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“She really knows how to go out there and deliver. It’s amazing she found anything to improve upon because she was already so amazing, but she did.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“And she did have that cushion in her five point lead after the short, and there were no yellow flags on any of her skills. I saw no deductions, but you never know what kind of mood the judges are in.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I think we are looking at our gold medalist. That’s how good it was.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“This was probably Kara Danvers’ best performance. I thought what she did at Nationals was nothing short of spectacular and this tops that. She really went out there and delivered.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“That level of difficulty is what we’ve come to expect from her. Four years ago, people forget but she was just fifteen years old. She hadn’t gone through her growth spurt yet. She’s grown four inches since then and she said she struggled to adjust, but it made her want to work that much harder.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I mean this really is a different Kara Danvers. She went out there and it was unlike anything we’ve seen from her.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The camera follows Kara as she moves off the ice. She hugs her coach Cat Grant, her face temporarily hidden from view, but her chest moves rapidly from the exertion of the last four minutes.</em>
</p><p>Lena watches the replays, listening to the commentators discussing the different elements, eyes narrowed when Kara jumps, paying attention to the details of her take off. She notices the slightest differences in each one and marvels at her perfect landings on a thin blade. She’s gone ice skating, but she’s never attempted any of what Kara did. The camera spans to Kara sitting with her coach, conversing with each other. They stop when Kara’s scores are announced.</p><p>
  <em>“And the scores for Kara Danvers for her free skate 157.78.” Kara is instantly up on her feet, hugging her coach, and cheering and crying when the screen shows her total score of 239.14. She waves at the camera, bursting with emotion as she’s been declared the top scorer.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“She got it. She did it.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The grin on her face is unrestrained and infectious as she jumps up and down.</em>
</p><p>Lena clicks on a video in the suggestions, a post-Olympic interview with Kara.</p><p>
  <em>“Okay, so I’m with Kara Danvers, the current Olympic gold medalist in women’s figure skating. Kara, you’ve been skating for basically your whole life, so did you ever imagine you would end up here one day?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kara smiles bashfully and shakes her head, a golden halo of hair falling over her shoulders. “No not really. My parents, my birth ones, they were ice dancers and won a few medals themselves back in the day, and they just wanted to introduce me to the ice. As soon as I was able, I was taking lessons. I did ballet. I knew I wanted to compete, but the Olympics always seemed more like a dream than anything. Maybe in my wildest imaginations, but it was such an honor four years to go to be selected and again this year.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“How does it feel to be going home with two gold medals?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Honestly, I don’t think I’ve processed it yet. It feels like I’m flying right now and I haven’t come back down to the ground. I’m sure it’ll hit me when I’m finally home.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What were you thinking going into your free skate after your flawless short? Did you have any nerves? Any doubts?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Nothing. For me, I take a deep breath and clear my head before stepping out onto the ice and let the rest of the world fade away. Nothing else matters except what I do in those four minutes allotted to me. I try not to get into my own head, otherwise I might psyche myself out. I go out there and perform to the best of my abilities and cross my fingers at the end, hoping it was enough. If you don’t give yourself the opportunity to doubt, you’ll be surprised by what you can achieve.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Clearly that method works for you. What would you say to anyone who aspires to be like you?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I would say to never give up hope. It’s all about hard work and commitment. If I fall multiple times in a practice, I force myself to get back up and refuse to allow it to deter me. I used to let that bother me, but every fall made me want to be better than I was the previous day. Make sure you’ve got a great support system. I have my parents and sister, my awesome coach who is everything and has really helped me become the skater I am today, an amazing choreographer, a wonderful team backing me every step of the way, and incredible friends who support me. They keep me level headed and encourage me when I’m feeling low. I didn’t do it all on my own.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Rumor has it that you are dating one of your teammates here?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kara giggles, dipping her head, biting her lip as she peeks through the thick of her lashes. “I don’t like to kiss and tell. So I’m going to say no comment on that.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It was a worth a try,” the interviewer shrugs with a chuckle. “Thank you for talking to us and congratulations again on your win.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Thanks for talking to me.” Kara waves at the camera and flashes one of her million dollar smiles.</em>
</p><p>It amazes Lena all that she’s learned about Kara in a single day. She hadn’t given Sam’s words at the beach much thought, but she was underselling all of Kara’s many achievements in the world of figure skating. She was amazing and extremely talented, accomplishing quite a bit and somehow still finding time for her studies.</p><p>She clicks through several more videos, watching as the years shave off of Kara as she goes back further in her career. She spots her mom sitting next to Eliza at a few of the competitions, unsurprised after Kara texted about Lillian’s past travels, but there’s a dull ache in her chest with the realization that she could have been a part of all of this if not for her own stubbornness.</p><p>While she was certainly successful as far her profession went with her being listed as one of the top businesswomen, landing at #2 on a list of young inventors, and being highly regarded as a woman working in the STEM field. Still, her private life took a beating for all the time she invested in it, often neglecting it in favor of spending time in the lab, or reviewing numbers for investors. She dedicated hours of her life to the company and she enjoyed the work, but at the end of the day, there was no one there when she arrived home. Her bed was large, empty, and cold when she crawled into it. There was no one there at night to regale with stories of her day. It was just Lena.</p><p>Loneliness used to be a word, but it had taken on a new meaning in her adult life. It perfectly described the state of her life. Her mother warned her there would come a day where she wished she had taken the time to cultivate relationships and find someone who would help her become the best version of herself.</p><p>It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in love. She did. Watching her parents made her long for something like that for herself. Her parents fell more in love with each passing year and her dad often looked at her mom as if he was seeing her for the first time. His eyes held this little twinkle, his face flushing when her mom caught his gaze, and then they gravitated towards each other as if hearing a silent call. Lena craves for what they have. She wants someone to hold her hand, to kiss her cheek just because, to snuggle with on cold nights, but most of all to love her for who she is.</p><p>While she’s not a spinster by any means, she is getting older and the ache in her chest hurts a bit more with every year. She realizes how focused she’s been on her work, barely setting aside time for anything that she considered non-productive.</p><p>Alex extended numerous invites over the years to attend some of her sister’s competitions with a few of them being around the Boston area and some in Metropolis. Lena cited work as her primary reason for her lack of attendance. Alex invited her to get togethers, parties, nights out on the city, dinners when Alex and Sam were in the city, and Lena found reasons to weasel her way out every time. She is happy for her friends, but she regrets her reclusive nature and the distance she created in their friendship.</p><p>She was there from the beginning and she knew a wedding was inevitable with how in love they are, but spending time with them reminded her she had none of that. And she pretended she preferred it that way, knowing deep down, she coveted something like it for herself.</p><p>Forcing herself away from spiraling into a bout of melancholia, she scrolls down the page, eyes scanning over the suggested videos when she finds the perfect one to get her mind off of everything.</p><p>A massive grin stretches across her face when she finds an early competition of Kara’s. She’s absolutely tiny with a round face and large crystal, blue eyes, but there’s that same determination and love for the sport in her eyes as she waits for her music.</p><p>Lena thinks she recognizes the costume from a framed photo that sat on the mantle in the Danvers’ family home. It’s red with a puffy skirt, definitely made from velvet. She’s nine and Lena sees a flash of sadness on her face when the music starts. It’s wiped clean and her face isn’t clear as the video is homemade and filmed at a distance.</p><p>The performance is cutesy and the jumps aren’t as advanced as what she saw from an older Kara, but there’s that burning intensity in her eyes as she performs. She has that carefree expression as she floats across the ice to a medley from <em>Annie</em>. Lena can’t say she was this passionate about anything when she was young, maybe chess, but she chose not to compete. She wanted to keep it fun. Her love for science started in middle school and still she doesn’t think she’s ever loved anything as much Kara loves skating.</p><p>When the video ends, Lena stretches across the bed, her lower back aches as she arches it, and she twists a little until she hears a faint pop.</p><p>Her eyes drop to clock on her screen and she’s out of the bed and across her room within seconds, rifling through her suitcase for the dress she packed for the rehearsal. It takes her a little longer than she would like to do her hair and make-up.</p><p>Her entire afternoon disappeared in a flash and the sun is cresting towards the water. She has no idea how time failed to register as she clicked video after video, but she barely has time to make herself presentable. The rehearsal is not an occasion where she wants to make a fashionably late entrance,</p><p>Lena applies a final coat of lipstick, taking a last look in the mirror to appraise herself, deciding she looks fine. She covered some of the pink from her time in the sun, balancing out the unevenness in her complexion. She kept the eyeshadow simple, applying a few different shades of brown, complimenting it with a thin layer of liner to help her lashes appear fuller, and a few coats of mascara to lengthen them.</p><p>Her hair is pinned in a chignon at the base of her neck, a few tendrils hanging loose to soften her face. Her jewelry is basic with a few gold and diamond studs and a gold pendant hangs around her neck.</p><p>She wears an emerald green cocktail dress with some vintage styling. The sleeves hang off her shoulders, showing off her collarbones and offering a small peek at her breasts. The dress hugs the contours of her body with a small slit in the side. She slides her feet into a pair of black Louboutins and spritzes a bit of perfume on her wrists and neck. Sneaking one last glance, she grabs her black clutch with her phone and key and heads downstairs.</p><p>Lena runs into a few other guests in the elevator, though she isn’t well acquainted with them. She shoots them a polite smile, facing forward as the elevator descends, stopping on the ground floor.</p><p>She exits the elevator, nearly stumbling over air when she spots Kara.</p><p>Lena bites her lip as her eyes rake over Kara’s form, suppressing images of her royal blue dress on Lena’s hotel room floor. The dress has an elegant v-neck—dipping just enough for Lena to have tempting thoughts— a short A line skirt that flares out from the hips, giving the dress somewhat of a dramatic effect. The beaded belt helps to emphasize her waist. And Lena honestly believes she’s never seen a more stunning woman in her life. Kara wears her hair half pinned up, with the rest tumbling down her back in tight curls.</p><p>Her eyes are accentuated with a smoky look and a bright lip. Her ringing laughter travels across the lobby and Lena finds she wants to know the cause for it. She wants her ears constantly filled with rich laughs and bubbly giggles.</p><p>“Oh there you are,” Alex says, leading her in the opposite direction of Kara, away from the din of voices occupying the lobby. “I was just about to call you.”</p><p>Lena rolls her eyes. “Late one time and all of a sudden people don’t trust you to turn up on time at events.”</p><p>“I’m sorry. I’m just all wound up, y’know?” Lena doesn’t. A wedding is a different kind of undertaking with the promise of things Lena has yet to experience. “But I’m so happy you’re here.”</p><p>“Me too Alex.” She throws her arms around her best friend, squeezing tightly, but careful not to wrinkle either of their outfits. “And nice dress,” Lena smirks as Alex shifts. Alex was less into dresses when they were kids, constantly groaning and moaning about when her mom forced her into one. Lena laughs at the wry twist of Alex’s mouth.</p><p>“Yuck it up.”</p><p>“I plan to,” she giggles, taking loads of mental pictures.</p><p>“Ugh you’re an as-“</p><p>“Alexandra!”</p><p>Alex closes her eyes with a groan, her lips curving up as she turns with a sweet smile directed at Eliza. Lena covers her mouth, ignoring the sharp jab in the ribs from Alex. Eliza was constantly on the two of them when they were thirteen for swearing, seemingly appearing out of nowhere when they dropped less than savory words. She had no qualms about making Lena stand there with a bar of soap in her mouth, right along with Alex, both of them pouting miserably as Eliza timed the extremely long minute.</p><p>Alex quietly bickers with her mother and during their mini spectacle, her eyes are drawn towards the other Danvers woman. Kara chats with her dad, her head bobbing every couple of seconds, face serious as she listens to whatever he’s saying to her.</p><p>Eventually, the other guests are ushered to the dining room, while the wedding party splits off to rehearse for the wedding. As Alex’s maid of honor, she will be standing up there with her best friend. Kara is a bridesmaid for her sister. Sam’s maid of honor is her cousin and her bridesmaid is a close friend from college.</p><p>Ruby begged her moms for the role of flower girl. She’s never had the opportunity and it is her moms’ wedding. She has eagerly anticipated this day for years. The ring bearer is the son of Sam’s cousin. He toddles ahead of Ruby, all smiles on his cherubic face. Jeremiah walks Alex down the aisle, while Sam’s stepdad walks her down after Alex. They meet at the altar and they all stand through a rough version of the wedding in two days.</p><p>There’s a muttered ‘thank god’ from everyone in attendance when they finish and are finally able to join the other guests. It’s nearing eight and everyone is ready for dinner.</p><p>When Lena enters the ballroom, there are two long table occupying the space, dressed in white embroidered tablecloths for the occasion, with tropical flower arrangements.</p><p>Alex and Sam mingle with the guests, greeting many who flew in today that they’ve yet to see, and Lena goes off in search of Kara, who managed to disappear in their trek from one part of the hotel to the other.</p><p>She runs into Sara instead and has the pleasure of meeting the woman who’s gotten Sara to settle down.</p><p>“Oh green eyes, there you are.”</p><p>Sara told her upon their first meeting she had the most compelling green eyes and they were quite lovely when they weren’t making people shit bricks. Lena could sometimes leave people feeling a little intimated with her frosty glares. But Sara remained unaffected, often calling her some variant of green. “Sara,” she greets.</p><p>“Ava, this is my old college friend Lena, Lena this is my girlfriend Ava.” Sara gestures to a statuesque blonde woman—and she’s definitely not Sara’s usual type. Sara liked them dark and troubled, but maybe this Ava is what she needed all along.</p><p>“Hi,” she says, offering out her hand. Ava shakes it, her grip assertive and confident. “I’m Lena as you know, Lena Luther.”</p><p>“Ava Sharpe,” she returns with a smile. “Sara has told me a lot of stories about you.”</p><p>“They’re all lies.” They’re probably not. Lena may have been serious about her studies, but she also enjoyed a good party or club, finding it freeing from the stuffiness of the lab or the misogyny and envy that surrounded her.</p><p>Sara was the breath of fresh air Alex and Lena needed. She managed to drag the two of them out and into the city for a little debauchery, introducing them to a different kind of fun. There were definitely more than a few humiliating memories to accompany those nights and not all of them she recalls. Lena remembers all the laughs and silliness, but most of all the fun they had.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Ava grins. “Crawling out of an elevator to your apartment at the other end of the hall in a short dress sounds like a good story.”</p><p>Lena fell in the elevator, unable to stand on her legs, having drank too much and singing some god awful karaoke, Alex and Sara accompanying her back to her apartment. She kept giggling and refused their help when they tried to get her upright. She crawled out, oblivious to her dress riding up, but unable to figure out how to get the key in the lock. She tried stabbing it at the hole several times. Sara snatched the key from her grasp, unlocking the door for her, and ushering her inside. They tried to put her to bed, only for Lena to get up and decide to go through her whole night routine.</p><p>Worst of all was the series of texts she sent. She texted Sam at one point about losing her phone and Sam questioned if she was trolling her. Lena was very serious and very <em>drunk</em>.</p><p>There’s still video evidence floating between Alex and Sara of Lena’s time in the spotlight. Somehow she had the bold idea to volunteer for karaoke, strutting to the stage, and getting up there as if she owned the space. Her song choices sent her companions into fits of laughter and they’ve yet to let her forget it, especially after she fell down when singing ‘<em>I get knocked down</em>.’ They lost their shit, laughing uproariously, falling all over themselves when Lena managed to get back up again.</p><p>“Did Sara tell you about the time she hit on her English professor?”</p><p>“Former,” Sara corrects. “She was my<em> former</em> English professor.”</p><p>“Semantics,” Lena waves her hand. “Your former professor that you crushed on for an entire semester.”</p><p>“I got her digits in the end.”</p><p>“Only because she thought it was cute how clumsy your attempts at hitting on her were,” Lena retorts, feeling triumphant. Sara was notorious for picking up women, despite her terrible pick-up lines and often confusing and awkward flirting. She was naturally flirtatious, but sometimes in front of beautiful women, found herself flustered and stumbling over her words.</p><p>“What about that time you developed a Russian alter ego?”</p><p>Lena’s gaze darts around the room before she hisses at Sara. “We swore never to mention it again.”</p><p>“Lena here, drank too much one night while we had game night, starts speaking in Russian even had a pretty good accent too, utterly convinced she was someone called- - what was it again?” Sara taps her chin.</p><p>Lena covers her face with her hands, mumbling under her breath. “Lenya.” She’s going to kill Sara.</p><p>Sara snorts and Lena socks her in the arm. Lena swears revenge on Sara. “Lenya would come out whenever we had a game night or drank too much, which come to think of it was all the time. And Lenya was just as competitive if not more so than Lena. She would swear at us in Russian.”</p><p>“Ugh,” Lena groans in remembrance. “Don’t remind me.”</p><p>“I doubt Lena was the only one acting stupid.” And Lena smirks. She could really grow to like Ava.</p><p>“Of course not.” Lena flips off Sara, ready to divulge some of the blonde’s most embarrassing drunk stories. “She once renamed all of the contacts in her phone.” Sara shakes her head, pleading with Lena not to finish the rest. “To their spirit animals. She named one of them as <em>The Stud Stallion</em>, having no idea who it was when she woke up. There was also the pink <em>pus-“</em> Sara slaps her hand over Lena’s mouth, refusing to move it unless Lena promises not to reveal any more details of their college days.</p><p>“Fine,” she grumbles. “You ruin all of my fun. Spending multiple years trying to get me to have fun and then have a problem when I do.”</p><p>“Speaking of fun, did you have a lot of it last night?”</p><p>Lena dips her head, lowering her gaze, unable to meet Sara’s knowing look.</p><p>“Oh come on,” Sara cajoles, nudging Lena. “I know all about kitten.”</p><p>Lena swallows thickly, eyes darting around to check whether or not Alex is within listening distance. Spying her at the opposite end of the room, she sighs in relief. It’s not that she’s ashamed of what she did with Kara or the flirting they’ve been doing all day. Her interest is genuine. <em>But</em> she also knows how overprotective Alex can be about her sister. While she joked earlier about Kara and Lena, Lena knows the reality of them would be something wholly different. She doesn’t want to shift the attention away from Alex on her special weekend and she’d rather reveal all at a later date, preferably when Alex is several hundred miles from her.</p><p>“I don’t know what got into me,” Lena says, closing her eyes when Sara’s mouth curves into that Cheshire grin of hers. “Fuck, I walked right into that.”</p><p>“Sure did!” Sara laughs. “I know exactly what got into you and let me say I approve.” She winks.</p><p>Lena stares skeptically at her. It’s not that Sara is a liar. She’s really not, mostly because she can’t lie for shit. It’s how they all spent a night in lock up. Sara’s explanations are always more elaborate and just <em>extra</em>, involving too much detail and not enough substance. Lena and Alex were way too drunk to offer up decent explanations for the bar brawl, which Sara did start.</p><p>“I like her.”</p><p>“I’m sure you do. All that top action was enough to keep you interested.”</p><p>Lena scowls. “How do you know she was the top?”</p><p>“Wait!” Ava interrupts, waving an arm between the two of them. “Are we talking about the blonde over there?”</p><p>Lena and Sara crane their heads, eyes locked onto where Ava points, finding the blonde stuffing her face with hors d’oeuvres. Ava squints and cocks her head, face in deep contemplation. “Are you sure?” She turns to her girlfriend, tone trying to convey it’s not that she doesn’t believe her, but well she doesn’t believe her.</p><p>“She’s a top.”</p><p>“She’s versatile,” Lena smirks, sipping her champagne. And it’s true. Kara had no preference for position and was very willing to experiment with different positions. Lena found the blonde was extremely flexible and damn if she didn’t explore that before their bodies begged for rest.</p><p>“Who’s versatile?”</p><p>Lena chokes on her champagne, whipping her head around to find Alex standing beside her. She gives her a strange look and Lena averts her eyes.</p><p>“Oh no one you know,” Sara brushes off the question, shooting Lena a quick smile. She would keep it to herself. Lena was grateful for Sara’s save.</p><p>It isn’t her intention to keep whatever is brewing with Kara a secret forever. Enough people know already that it’s hardly a secret, but there’s still someone who is in the dark and knows nothing of what’s transpired between Lena and Kara. Alex has too much on her plate than to contemplate the complexities of this fledgling <em>whatever </em>she has with Kara. It’s best if they keep it to themselves and keep the focus where it belongs.</p><p>Over dinner, Lena meets Kara’s gaze a few times. Her eyes never linger long to keep suspicion off of them, especially with their mothers sniffing around, on the hunt for information and determined to push them together. She’s not opposed to that, but she would rather it be on her own terms than something her mother arranged. She wants the credit for finding this, otherwise she’d never hear the end of it.</p><p>Lillian and Eliza are wise to them, their hawk eyes track every smile and look, following them as they leave the dinner for a stroll by the water. The sun had long since set, sky fading into various shades of purples and pinks before being snuffed out by the black of night.</p><p>The stars are visible, brighter than anything Lena sees from her apartment in Metropolis. The lights of Lahaina aren’t prohibitive to the night sky.</p><p>“When I was a kid, it took me a long time to grasp the concept that the sun is a star too,” Kara smiles, albeit hesitantly and a little sheepish at the edges. “It was big and yellow in comparison to the small specks in our sky and I couldn’t conceive how they could be the same thing.”</p><p>“It came as a shock to me too,” Lena laughs. She used to tell people as a kid that the sun was a sun and not a star. They didn’t even look the same. “I like to think that each one represents the possibility of life out there. There’s all these planets that we haven’t explored and we can’t be the only inhabited planet.”</p><p>Lena watches the breath of the ocean, the gentle, rhythmic rise and fall of the surface. The moon washes away the darkness, creating a glassy surface, reflecting back the cascading white light. The water kisses the shore, only to be called back home moments later, becoming part of the whole once more. The nighttime breeze tickles Lena’s collarbone and brings with it the briny air. It invigorates Lena and cleanses her soul. She’s always loved the sea.</p><p>“I agree. But also I just thought it was cool that the light we see is from years ago and not now. It blew my mind as a kid.” Kara is theatrical and her face flickers with all of the micro emotions. “Of course back then I didn’t exactly understand how light travels.”</p><p>“For me, the vastness of space seemed impossible. It looks quite small when we look up and it made me realize how fragile what we have is.”</p><p>“Sometimes I think of stars as snowflakes. No two stars are the same and in the night sky, they all look like white specks.” The breeze off the water rustles Kara’s hair and Lena’s breath catches. “And it was wilder to me that they were all dying, but somehow it was beautiful too. It was strangely comforting to know that nothing lives forever, not even stars, and technically we are just extensions of the universe, living and conscious stardust.”</p><p>“You were definitely an odd child,” Lena comments, mouth curving upwards when Kara lightly shoves her. “Hey! It’s hardly my fault if you were a little weirdo.” She pokes her tongue out and Kara rolls her eyes.</p><p>“Maybe you were just a boring teenager.”</p><p>“And you crushed on that boring teenager,” Lena retorts, taking great pleasure in Kara’s momentary stunned silence.</p><p>Kara’s cheeks suffuse with color, visible even in the pale light of the moon. “So you’re really not going to let me forget that, huh?”</p><p>“Nope,” she pops the ‘p’. “I think it’s adorable. I’m not even entirely sure why you liked me because I was awful back then and going through a whole goth phase.”</p><p>“I thought the purple streaks were cool.”</p><p>“My mother didn’t.” She was vocal about her dislike, but allowed Lena to act out her little teenage rebellion. “You should’ve seen her trying not to grimace whenever I was around. She really hated it.”</p><p>“I’m sure.”</p><p>“I eventually grew out of that and came to have an appreciation for my natural color. Back then I just needed to have my small acts of defiance and that was one of them. My parents let me do it and I think they preferred that to the alternatives.” Some of the kids at boarding school were deep into the world of drugs and parties. Lena still cared for her studies and devoted herself to the future instead of indulging in harmful pastimes.</p><p>“I was a surly fourteen year old. That year I wanted songs that allowed me to express something besides happiness. I did <em>Firebird. </em>I didn’t want to continue to be a perfect little ice princess, y’know? Being the Firebird allowed me to be a little fiercer and feistier. Did a full Black Swan routine too.”</p><p>Lena sort of understands. She grew tired of trying to measure up to her brother and the expectations of teachers. Her parents were the only ones okay with her being herself. Everyone else expected her to be this girl that didn’t exist and she kept striving for it anyway. Except the mold wasn’t hers to fill. She had created her own.</p><p>“Do you remember your parents?” Lena wants to take it back as soon as she asked, cursing internally when Kara’s face falls, her eyes losing some of that sparkle.</p><p>Kara holds up a hand with a soft smile as if to say ‘it’s okay’. “Sort of.” The little crinkle appears between her brows. “They died when I was seven. I lived with my aunt for a while, but she didn’t really have time for kids. She’s an ambassador. I don’t know if you know but I’m Kasnian, well ethnically anyway, I was born in California. I remember my parents talking about their childhoods. They were fortunate to come from good families. A lot of people were poor and there’s a lot of political strife. They sought refuge here when it became untenable there.”</p><p>“My mom, my biological mother, she was Irish. I don’t really remember anything about her. I was too young and I’ve only ever known my mom. My parents never hid anything about her and I keep in contact with a few relatives on that side, but I can’t imagine what it’s like to really have her and then not.”</p><p>“My parents have been my parents longer than my biological ones. I call them my real parents. As much as I love the ones who gave me life, they aren’t really more than a few hazy memories and some old photos. My Aunt Astra would tell me stories, but at a point there was a disconnect. So to answer your question, I don’t really remember them.”</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Don’t be. I have some good memories I cling to like us skating. They were ice dancers and I don’t know that they ever expected me to love it too, but I did. It helps me feel a little connected to them.”</p><p>“It must be comforting at times to have that. I have no tangible memories of my birth mother. Her name was Erin Kelly. I always had my dad’s last name. But her family make me feel welcome when I visit. They tell me stories, but she always seems like a character and not a—“</p><p>“Real person.” Kara finishes with a nod. “My cousin Clark, he’s a reporter, he was adopted when he was three. He’s never known any other parents either and my dad did share some memories before he passed away, but it’s just the two of us left on our branch. There’s no one else and so we hold what we know fairly close, but neither of us is all that close to our roots.”</p><p>“I have an impression of the woman she was.” Lena sits down on the stone wall, smoothing out her skirt, gazing out to the water. It’s endless and dark, the clouds obscuring the moon. “But I— I don’t know that I love her the way I love my mom. She’s my first real memory. I was terrified when they took me home and my parents’ house seemed enormous. And I was looking for something familiar. I crawled into her lap and she held me close, letting me soak her expensive silk shirt with my tears, and I felt so loved.”</p><p>Her mother could have hated her, despised everything she represented. But she never did. She loved Lena from the start. She helped Lena move through her loss and became her mom.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> She was there for science fairs, school plays, parent teacher conferences, the first to defend her daughter. </span></p><p>“Lillian is cool like that. She gave me a place to hang when I didn’t want to go home, or if my parents were working late.”</p><p>“Did you spend a lot of time together?”</p><p>Kara chuckles lightly, shrugging. “I think I annoyed her with my endless questions. She was kind to me and really helped when she offered to sponsor me. Competitive figure skating is expensive and my parents had Alex’s college to pay for on top of lessons, dresses, skates, nutritionists, psychologists, and everything else.”</p><p>“Mom is great like that.” Lillian went out of her way to help people, especially the people she cared about. “She must really like you.”</p><p>“So how does it feel to be one of the top innovators?” Lena carefully notes the lack of subtlety involved in Kara changing the topic. But she gets it. She’s not the greatest at opening up to others either.</p><p>“Ahh I see, you want me to give up the goods.”</p><p>“I mean I did answer a personal question. Fair is fair.” Lena can’t argue with that.</p><p>“I don’t pay attention to the media much or awards. Sure it’s cool to have the recognition for my efforts, but a lot of people gloss over what it really means. My personal life is a mess. I spend too much time working and I think my mom was close to losing her patience with me if I didn’t take a break.”</p><p>“It can’t be that bad.”</p><p>Lena purses her lips, sighing deeply. “No it really can,” she admits. “I don’t think I’ve gone on a vacation since I finished my master’s.”</p><p>“Striking a balance is hard,” Kara chews on her bottom lip and Lena fights the urge to kiss it. “But a genius like you will figure out all of the logistics. Too much work and no fun doesn’t lend itself to scientific breakthroughs. And Alex has told me about all the fun you’ve had.”</p><p>Lena clasps a hand over chest, mock offended. “None of it is true,” she says, a smile teasing her mouth. Her eyes crinkle, dark and full of mirth.</p><p>“Sure… sure if you want to go with that, but I saw the video.” She cackles, taking off back towards the hotel with Lena shouting after her.</p><p>“Kara you get back here, tell me where that video is.”</p>
<hr/><p>Lena rolls out of bed with a groan, rubbing furiously at her eyes as she shuffles to the door. She woke, confused by the light rapping, sleep slowly fading from the recesses of her brain. It took her a few seconds longer to realize it was her door someone was knocking on, she squints at the alarm clock, just after two in the morning.</p><p>She pulls open the door, struck silent by her nighttime visitor. “Kara?” She questions uncertainly, brows crawling up her forehead as she tries to determine the reason for Kara showing up at the late hour. It’s unexpected but certainly her company isn’t unwanted.</p><p>Kara smiles tentatively, shifting her weight to the opposite leg. “Hi Lena,” her tone is light and soft, almost a hushed whisper, mindful of the hour and the other guests. “I was wondering if you would be up for a surprise?”</p><p>“At two a.m.?” Her brain barely functions at full capacity, but even she’s aware of how bizarre it is that Kara is knocking on her door.</p><p>“I want to take you somewhere and we kinda have to leave soon if we want to see it.” Kara seems to process her own words. “I- you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”</p><p>Lena is the moth drawn to the flame. She’s trying to fight a craving, an addiction to which she has no built in immunities. All of her past defenses have crumbled and there’s nothing but an open space for Kara to stroll into her very being. “Give me a few minutes,” she replies, chastising herself for giving in to a whim.</p><p>“Dress warm. I’ll wait out here for you.”</p><p>Lena nods, closing the door and flicking on the light. She rummages through her suitcase, finding a pair of jeans and a hoodie folded neatly at the bottom. She thanks her amazing assistant for her packing skills and her thoughtful consideration. She slips out of her sleep clothes and into regular clothes, grabbing a pair of tennis shoes.</p><p>Minutes later, she’s following Kara as they walk down the street, the blonde’s eyes searching for something, lighting up when she finds it. She tugs on Lena’s hand, dragging her to a parked SUV. “It’s Alex and Sam’s rented car. Sam gave me the keys after dinner and said I could use it.”</p><p>Lena climbs in as Kara starts up the vehicle. “Any hints about this surprise?”</p><p>“That’s not how surprises work.”</p><p>Lena huffs, disgruntled by Kara’s unwillingness to share any details about where they’re going. It’s dark and the roads are mostly empty except for the occasional stray car. It’s such a contrast to Metropolis with its’ flashing city lights and constant movement.</p><p>“Have you ever been to the islands?” She asks Kara.</p><p>“We went on a vacation when Alex graduated high school. It’s probably why she wanted to get married here. It’s so peaceful and people aren’t in a constant rush. There’s all this beauty that’s different from back home.” Kara turns her gaze to Lena. “What about you? Has the illustrious Lena Luthor made it this far from the mainland?”</p><p>“I don’t even know the last time I took a vacation,” Lena admits sullenly, a thoughtful look crossing her face. “I normally don’t stray far from our Metropolis offices unless I’m brokering some deal with a new partner. I’ve been a bit of a recluse and feel really fucking awful for how I’ve treated Alex.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“She’s been a real rock, especially after my last serious relationship. But I didn’t— I haven’t been that for her in a long time. I’ve been a shitty friend.”</p><p>“I’ve been a shitty sister.”</p><p>“I don’t see how. Alex talks about you all the time.”</p><p>Kara shoots her a dark look. “I’ve iced her out,” she sighs, removing a hand from the wheel to run through her hair. “No pun intended either, but after my accident, I buried myself in my studies. She calls and texts all the time, sometimes resorting to email if she’s desperate. I see all of the messages and can’t find it in me to respond and reassure her that I’m fine.”</p><p>“Are you?” Kara frowns. “Fine that is, are you okay? Or is that the narrative you have to tell yourself to keep from falling apart?”</p><p>“I want to be fine.”</p><p>“That’s not the same thing,” Lena says with a laugh. “When my ex and I broke up, I was a fucking mess. I pretended that I was okay and really dedicated myself to my work, which was part of the reason we ended things.”</p><p>“That’s Andrea, right?” Kara licks her lips, eyes shifting nervously.</p><p>Lena smirks with growing understanding. Kara as aloof as she’s pretended to be since the start of whatever it is between them, is just as interested. “Yes, it was Andrea. We had our differences and we weren’t compatible as a couple.”</p><p>“I know all about incompatibility,” Kara mutters, fingers tightening around the wheel. “My ex was— she’s a fucking bitch.”</p><p>Lena knows from hints Alex and Sam has dropped about the status of Kara’s love life that things didn’t end amicably between Kara and her ex. The bitterness and anger Kara injected into her words makes her think there’s a lot more to it than a simple nasty break-up. “What did she do?”</p><p>“Wh-what? Um- - nothing, forget I said anything.”</p><p>“Please tell me,” Lena isn’t above begging, a first for her. Lena finds herself enraptured by the blonde. Kara is unlike anyone in her life and she finds her refreshing. She tries to tuck herself away, but fails to realize she could never just blend with the crowd. She’s a star.</p><p>“You have to promise not to tell Alex. She doesn’t know.”</p><p>“Whatever you say to me, I’ll keep to myself.”</p><p>“So, my ex and I trained under the same coach. We were on the National and Olympic teams together. We had known each for years before we started dating. Well Coach Grant planned to drop her after the 2018-19 season. They didn’t uh exactly get along. Coach Grant also has very high standards and doesn’t tolerate anyone who isn’t willing to put in the work. I guess she was getting complacent and not taking her training as seriously, especially in the lead up to the new season. Last year after Nationals, coach told her she was dropping her after her shoddy performance. She fell twice and had skipped most of the practices that week, or if she did show up, she was hungover.” Kara shudders, fingers flexing a few times as she tries to get ahold of herself. “She was pissed at me for not standing up for her and a month before Worlds, she slicked the ice on the rink right before my training session. I went for my triple axle and landed wrong, breaking my ankle.”</p><p>The story infuriates Lena. Her hands are tightly clenched in her lap and she thinks about what she’d like to do to Kara’s ex if she ever met her. What kind of person does that to another person? “What happened after?”</p><p>Kara laughs hollowly, flicking her turn signal on as she double checks to make sure there are no cars coming from the opposite direction. “I spent about two weeks in the hospital with a severe head trauma and a broken ankle. I knew she had sabotaged me. She told me I’d regret it, but I laughed her off.” Kara shrugs, sounding almost nonchalant about the whole incident. “I didn’t think she would you know…” She waves her hand, unable to fully articulate herself.</p><p>“Did you report her to the police?”</p><p>Kara clenches her jaw, nonverbally providing Lena with her answer.</p><p>“Kara!” She says sharply, disbelief coloring her voice as she stares incredulously at the blonde. Why would Kara not report her to the police? The woman caused injury to Kara with her vindictiveness and her pettiness. The potential permanent damage to Kara’s person didn’t even seem to factor into the woman’s decision. Kara certainly hadn’t deserved what she suffered.</p><p>“It’s fine,” she says tersely. Her long fingers clench around the wheel and it strikes Lena she’s struck a nerve. She’s starting to unravel some of the layers, tearing down one wall at a time.</p><p>“It’s not fine,” Lena insists. “You didn’t tell Alex, which tells me everything.”</p><p>“Look it happened and I’m mostly over it.”</p><p>Lena scoffs. Kara is anything but over <em>it. </em>“Then why did you quit?”</p><p>“I thought I should focus on my studies.” And wow, she’s a terrible liar. It amazes Lena that Kara has managed to fool her family into believing she’s okay with not skating. Lena saw the videos, the unrepressed joy when Kara was on the ice, the serenity in her body as she floated and danced. And she compares it to the version of Kara seated next to her, claiming that it’s all in the past, hears the almost detachment in her voice. But Lena notes how Kara fails to conceal her true feelings.</p><p>“Bullshit,” Lena calls her out. She refuses to sit and allow Kara to blatantly lie and attempt to convince herself she’s better off this way. Lena may not know Kara as intimately as some others, but she feels she has a decent grasp on the type of person she is. Kara startles and the car swerves a little, Kara shoots a nasty glare at Lena as she rights them. “Sorry,” Lena apologizes. “But I’m not sorry for what I said. Kara, as stalkerish as it sounds and really it does make me sound like some creeper, I watched at least ten years of you competing. While I don’t really know much about it besides from what I observed, you’re extremely talented. You’ve won all of the major competitions. You were a shoo in to win Worlds last year before the accident. Are you seriously going to allow some jealous, insecure girl take all of that away from you? Because while physics might satisfy you, one day you will regret the choices you didn’t make. And some choices don’t come around again. Your physics degree will always be there.” It was a lesson that took Lena years to learn. “So tell me are you going to let this girl steal everything you worked for, steal away the person you’re meant to become?”</p><p>She’s coming on strong, but Lena has experience with losing out on choices through no fault but her own. While her parents were highly inclined to send her off to boarding school, they were adamant it was up to Lena to make the final decision. It was her life after all and at times Lena wondered how different her life would be if she had decided to stay. She was a loner at her new school, a recluse hiding away in her room between classes and meals. She missed Alex and the other friends she had back in Midvale, but stubbornly refused to quit. Through sheer determination, she applied herself and graduated early, escaping to college.</p><p>She chose her path and she had to stick to it. But sometimes in her weakest moments, there’s that stir of regret in her chest when she dreams about the ‘what ifs’. Those small possibilities that never had a chance to blossom and she does her best to stay present and not dwell on the maybes, lest she get caught up. This weekend has reinforced to her that she hasn’t put a lot of effort into any of her relationships as of late and she needs to rectify that after she returns home. She’s neglected her friendship with Alex and it guts her to know that she’s slacked on her maid of honor duties. She should have taken time out of her work to be there for Alex as she prepared for one of the biggest undertakings of her life. She remembers her mom sitting down with her a few months back, her eyes sad and full of pity, telling Lena loneliness was a choice.</p><p>Lena dismissed her. She refused to think of herself as lonely, except that night was the first of many to follow where she went home and saw how empty her life was. She found herself craving the presence of another, someone to hold her hand, to cuddle, someone who listened as she talked about her day, someone to listen to songs with, who didn’t care if she sang a little off key, someone who loved her as much as she loved them. That was the gist of it. The people she dated wanted Lena, but they wanted their version of Lena, not the person she was.</p><p>Kara’s purses her lips, but her grip slackens and there’s a thoughtful look on her face. Lena can make out her features through the small slivers of pale moon light shining into the car.</p><p>“I just know about losing your chance. I’m not sure on how a skating career works, but I imagine the physical toll means there are only so many years your body can endure the training.”</p><p>“Most female skaters retire before thirty. It’s not exactly a short career as most of us have been skating our whole lives or close to it. I was on skates about the time I could stand upright. By five, I was in lessons and at eight I was competing. It’s a lot easier to learn the skills when you’re younger.” Kara shakes her head, sighing noisily as she glances over at Lena. “I’m scared.” There’s a note of vulnerability that pierces Lena’s heart.</p><p>“Of what?” The question unfurls from her lips, unbidden. Her intrigue grows with each passing second she spends with Kara. Something about the blonde is alluring and calls to something inside of her and she wants to feed it.</p><p>“Skating has come very easily for me. I won’t pretend it didn’t. I was or I guess am a prodigy. I suppose I’ve been telling people mini lies and they’ve built up over the last year,” Kara confesses, a troubled glint reflected in her bright eyes. The color is paler, absorbing some of the moon’s white light, washing out the blue, appearing almost grey. “While I haven’t trained with any kind of regularity, I do spend a lot of time skating outside of the lessons I teach. I just am terrified of committing myself back to the sport.” There’s a slight hitch in her delivery, but Lena picks her way through all of that, listening for what Kara doesn’t say.</p><p>“There’s always going to be some new ingenue and maybe I hung my skates up at the time right time.”</p><p>Lena dismisses the absurdity of her statement instantly, seeing right through Kara’s apparent lies. How has anyone believed anything that’s come past those pretty pink lips of hers?</p><p>Kara is a wildfire, waiting to burn and be consumed, she is passion incarnate, bursting with energy and enthusiasm. She’s full of joy and pain and love and rage, the rage simmers beneath the surface, hidden under a finely crafted facade. She fools everyone around her, able to deceive those closest to her, after all they see what Kara wants them to. Kara holds herself back, but she’s the spark, the driving force behind the change she seeks. She’s wasting away in academics, though she enjoys the sciences, it doesn’t call to her like a siren— a song meant for her ears.</p><p>“Fine,” Kara huffs, feeling the heat of Lena’s stare on her face. “It’s easier. Training again means I have to think about it. I’d have to fully acknowledge what happened to me and answer questions from the press about it. The investigation was done internally and she was banned from the sport. But I refused to press charges. I didn’t tell my family about any of it. Alex... uh she never really liked her.”</p><p>“Fear is a powerful deterrent,” Lena starts, wanting to address Kara’s admission. “And you’re afraid of change, especially after everything that’s happened. Not everything new is going to hurt. You might be a little bruised, wounded even, but that’s not permanent. You’re going to heal, I promise you will. You’re going to be stronger than you imagined and I think it would be a waste if you turn your back on skating. Not many people discover something they can be so <em>passionate</em> about, that gives them <em>purpose</em>.”</p><p>Silence stretches between them and that’s <em>fine</em>. Lena supposes Kara needs time. It’s her life and it has to be her choice what she does next. It’s not Lena’s place to tell her what to do. She just hopes she takes Lena’s advice to heart.</p><p>Eventually Kara turns on music to filter out some of the awkwardness.</p><p>Lena is appalled, actually disturbed by Kara’s selection. “You can’t be serious.”</p><p>“What?” Kara says defensively, sniffing disdainfully when she feels Lena’s eyes on her.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Too bad, I’m driving.”</p><p>And she has a valid point. Lena crosses her arms, sitting back with faint amusement etched into her features, biting her lip when Kara begins to sing along. Kara is serious about this. She’s having fun and ignores the judgement radiating off of Lena. It’s not that she’s got an awful voice, in fact it’s the exact opposite.</p><p>Her voice is melodious, smooth and clear, soothing despite the chosen playlist for their trip. Lena can’t resist the joy and cheer Kara invokes as she sings along with the lyrics. However quite a few of the songs’ lyrics contrast significantly with their surroundings and Lena has to chuckle.</p><p>“You’re ridiculous.” Theres something familiar about the moment and a long ago memory is called forth, Alex complaining endlessly about her new sister’s questionable taste in music and playing songs that had no business being played all year long.</p><p>“—I keep my distance but you still catch my eye, tell me baby do you recognize me <em>well</em> it’s been a year, it doesn’t surprise me.” Though Kara may not realize it, she’s remarkable, a soul that while burdened, she moves forward. The light still shines through and pushes out the darkness. She’s goofy and honestly needs a reality check if she thinks it is remotely okay to listen to <em>Christmas</em> music in <em>June</em>. “Merry Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it… with a note saying I love you I meant it. Now I know what a fool I’ve been, but if you kissed me now I know you would fool me again.”</p><p>The flame grows quietly. It started as a dull ember, barely visible in Kara’s light, but steadily it burns and burns. Lena likes her. It feels early for such declarations, yet Lena cannot recall the last time she felt like <em>this.</em></p><p>“—my God I thought you were someone to rely on,” and Lena decides to join her. If she’s going to be forced to listen, then she might as well be a vocal participant.</p><p>And there’s something freeing about the entire experience, singing a song that is typically played only in the month of December. It feels almost forbidden and the rebellious side of her revels in it.</p><p>Kara shuffles through a medley of songs and Lena never tires of her voice. She knows every song and the radiant smile never drops from her face. She perfectly mimics the high pitched tones of the Chipmunks in <em>The Chipmunk Song</em>, including their mini argument with Dave at the end.</p><p>“You’ve got a lot of hidden talents.”</p><p>Kara wags her brows, sliding her hand up Lena’s jean clad thigh and squeezing. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” She teases. And Lena would. She really would. She saves each new fact she learns, tucking it away for safety.</p><p>“Una kandelika, dos kandelikas. Tres kandelikas, kuatro kandelikas. Sintyu kandelikas, sej kandelikas. Siete kandelikas, ocho kandelas para mi.”</p><p>And then it dawns on her that Alex and Kara are Jewish when the new song starts playing.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> She had forgotten, but memories of Alex inviting her over to light the candles on the menorah invade her mind.</span></p><p>“I forgot you were Jewish.”</p><p>“Half,” Kara corrects. “My birth mom was but my dad was part of the Orthodox Church. We celebrated Chrismukkah.”</p><p>“We are Catholic, so always just Christmas. But I haven’t gone to confession since I first kissed a girl.”</p><p>“My religion is pretty important to me, not that many people outside of Judaism know about it. Hanukkah isn’t even one of our big holidays. But it is one in a long list where we survived against the odds.”</p><p>“So what was that song?”</p><p>“It’s Ocho Kandelikas or Eight Little Candles. It’s a Landino song, more known with Sephardic Jews.”</p><p>“Do you know every holiday song?”</p><p>“Yes, but many of them I learned just to annoy Alex. It pissed her off that I would play holiday music all year.”</p><p>“She might have said something about that once or twice,” Or all the time.</p><p>“I’m sure she did,” Kara laughs.</p><p>Eventually they reach a booth, Kara paying for their parking, and they eventually settle in a small parking lot. Lena glances around the dark surroundings, nothing standing out to her in the black of the early morning.</p><p>“Where are we?”</p><p>“This is Mount Haleakala. In Hawaiian, it translates to house of the rising sun. In roughly another hour, the sun is going to rise over there.” Lena follows the direction of Kara’s hand and can make out a few figures already gathered, eagerly expecting the first rays of morning light. “It’s… there aren’t really words to describe just how beautiful it is.”</p><p>At half past four, they step out of the car, Lena shivers when the cold mountain air hits her. She understands why Kara recommended she wear something warmer. Lena hadn’t anticipated experiencing high altitudes on her trip, but she does like to come prepared for every outcome.</p><p>They find a spot for themselves, Kara settling behind Lena. The firm press of her body causes something warm to stir inside of Lena, something she’s been all too intent on ignoring. Everything with Kara is easy, requires no real thought— Lena instead relies on her instincts to guide her. So far, they have steered her in the right direction and she’s standing 10k feet above water, waiting with a small crowd of people to be dazzled by the most natural wonder.</p><p>The minutes pass slowly and when she trembled from the cold, Kara’s arm wrap around her waist, holding her closer. Kara’s face is pressed against her own and if Lena turned her head, her lips would graze Kara’s cheek.</p><p>It feels sudden when the <a href="https://postimg.cc/gallery/hnGZ0VC">sky</a> begins to transition, fading from almost pitch black to the darkest blues, melting into various shades of light blue. And then the real show starts as the world around them begins. The blue gives way to golden yellows and burning oranges, the sky preparing for the grand entrance of the sun. The clouds are dark and fluffy, obscuring the rest of the island from view, including the crater of the volcano they’re standing atop.</p><p>The chatter grows louder around them as everyone watches in awe. Lena doesn’t care if her fingers are a little stiff from the cold or her nose is runny, she holds her phone up capturing every single second. It’s the act of experiencing it all with Kara that makes it memorable— a moment she’ll treasure forever. For Lena has never taken the time to appreciate the fresh bloom of the sun, opening like a flower, gifting the world with its’ beauty.</p><p>Behind her, native Hawaiians begin to sing as the first orange hued rays kiss the sky. The sun creeps out of the clouds, poking its’ head out to give them a preview of what’s to come, illuminating the sky with its’ dazzling brilliance. The gold stretches across the horizon, an invitation to a new day, arriving just in time to watch the world wake.</p><p>Lena turns her head, watching as the sun blossoms in Kara’s eyes, the flecks of gold on display and the blue reflects that of the sky. Her face is cast in a tangerine glow, her hair shining like spun gold, and she’s ethereal, truly a sight to behold. Lena presses a kiss to Kara’s chin, enjoying the feel of warm skin under her lips. She could stay here forever.</p><p>Opposite from the sun is its’ sister. As the sun moves higher into the sky, taking center stage, the moon descends, preparing to set and rest for the day. It’s a faint white speck on the horizon, surrounded by a swirl of colors, peaches, tangerines, lowering below the silhouetted world beneath them.</p><p>Swiveling back around, the sun has fully come up, a shining gold beacon in an early morning blue sky. The sun peaks above the clouds, which continue to hide the other side of the island.</p><p>Lena feels the warmth of a new day, excited for all the possibilities. There’s a subtle shift— almost imperceptible— between them, like the earth tilted off axis and it knocks the air out of her. It leaves a lasting impression but it is gone before Lena has time to think about it.</p><p>“Thank you for coming with me,” Kara whispers, resting her chin on Lena’s shoulder, gently squeezing her waist.</p><p>“My mom used to say we can’t fight the sun. We should follow it as it brings us forward into a new day.” The words had gone over a young Lena’s head, too figurative for her to understand, but she thinks she finally does, standing there with Kara.</p><p>“Your mom is pretty awesome and insightful.”</p><p>“I think you’re awesome too.” Kara kisses behind her ear, warm and tender. “You’re wonderful.” And she is.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> A gift she never thought to ask for and one she wants to keep.</span></p><p>“It’s so beautiful.” There’s a note of wistfulness in her voice and Lena feels Kara’s eyes on her and not the sun arcing gracefully in the distance. Heat creeps into her cheeks, a soft pink dustsher face, but Kara’s eyes grow softer and there’s so much affection directed at Lena. The ache, that longing she’s felt begs to be filled, and she wants to soothe that ache.</p><p>Lena feels the pulsing, the thrill, the start of something singing in her veins as she looks out over the mountain, peering out into the world suddenly available for her perusal. Desire licks up her spine and an odd excitement rushes through her, the fire pooling low in her belly.</p><p>Something takes possession of her and she goes for it. Feeling the potency of the moment, she takes a huge step off the cliff and into the unknown. Lena reaches up, cradling Kara’s face, runs a thumb along her jaw and brushes back wisps of hair with the tips of her fingers. Lena stares at her face in wonder. She meets Kara’s starry eyes, her own fluttering shut, tastes Kara’s breath before closing the gap between them.</p><p>None of that frenetic urgency from their first night infects the kiss, or the drunken sloppiness, instead everything falls into place. Spending years as a lost soul, drifting mindlessly, Lena is almost afraid to dream- - to believe this is real.</p><p>Kara sinks into the kiss, mouth moving in tandem with Lena’s, arms keeping Lena locked in place. And Lena no longer feels unbound, she’s tethered, quivering in Kara’s grasp. Lena whispers Kara’s name, pressing harder, all of her nerves coming alive as Kara deepens it. Her tongue brushes Lena’s lips and Lena opens her mouth to her, their tongues tangling languidly. Lena has never felt more alive with the crisp mountain air, Kara’s mouth on hers, and hope blooming in her chest.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Am I Kara listening to Christmas music whenever I want? <i> Maybe </i> and it's possible I was listening to it while writing the chapter. </p><p>Find me on <a href="https://jmoonrise.tumblr.com">
    <em>tumblr</em></a>. Also one or two of those drunk stories <i>might</i> be things I did. I’ve actually seen the sun rise from Mount Haleakala and it’s amazing, definitely worth a visit if you find yourself in Maui.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warning for mention of an abusive/toxic relationship.<br/>Thanks to N&amp;N for listening to me as I bemoaned the fact that this chapter would just not end and eventually cutting me off. You guys were a great support for the last nearly 4 weeks as I tried to write something coherent and chronological. Though still don’t know about you guys convincing me to read this aloud to you. Also for remaining on the call with me for 7 hours this morning as I cranked out 4k words and kept saying I was almost done only to not be done and the continued encouragement as it crawled past 11, 12, 13, 14, and hit 15k words.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Her eyes flutter open as she takes in Lena, bathed in the soft morning light, grassy eyes sparkling, cheeks lightly flushed, lips gleaming with moisture, and she feels something shift in her. It’s minuscule but noticeable akin to the blossoming of a moon flower, unseen to the casual eye, blooming just once— its’ bloom leaving a lasting impact far beyond its’ lifespan.</p><p>Kara dips her head, shyly tucking a strand of loose hair behind Lena’s ear, fingers accidentally brushing her warm cheek. Her skin burns in response. “Ready to go?” She takes an unsteady step back, putting a little space between them.</p><p>“Yeah,” Lena says. She nods in the direction of the parking lot and Kara trails after her, silently scolding herself. She’s the one making things awkward. Lena agreed to come with her. She chose to accept the invitation she extended at 2 a.m. and that has to mean something. Right?</p><p>She struggles to keep her distance, muting the voice popping into her head that tells her to take Lena’s hand. It’s right there, swinging gently at her side within perfect reach of her own, but she’s too cowardly to take action. What if that’s not what Lena wants from this? Sure, they kissed, and they’ve had sex. But none of that is definitive as to what they are doing. They brazenly flirted and shared some of their pasts, and Kara can admit that she feels something beyond the scope of attraction for Lena. Part of her interest in the bar that night was talking to her first crush, being noticed by her, however, by the time things between them escalated, she was unable to control herself and was willing to accept whatever Lena offered. She doesn’t know how to stay away.</p><p>And with a firm nod, she decides that’s what she will continue to do. It’s easier than the alternative and keeps her from having to admit her own feelings.</p><p>When they reach the car, Kara halts, fiddling anxiously with the keys. She has a proposition for Lena that she hopes she will consider and take, though she’ll understand if Lena refuses. She wants to continue this moment, wishing for it to never end.</p><p>Lena moves to the passenger door, turning around when she realises that Kara has stopped near the hatch. “Everything alright?” Her forehead creases with worry, little crinkles forming in the scrunched skin.</p><p>“Um yeah,” Kara says, fidgeting. “Well sort of.” She shifts her weight, thigh pressing into the car uncomfortably. She refuses to chicken out, knowing any type of future with Lena hinges on what happens next, “I was wondering if you would like to spend the day with me. I don’t mean at the beach or hotel or even in Lahaina.”</p><p>Lena chews on her lower lip, eyes sceptical about Kara’s offer, the corners creasing. “Where would we go?” She finally asks, breaking up the silence and Kara’s internal ranting. She nearly talked herself out of asking, rescinding the offer out of fear.</p><p>“We would take a trip down the Hana Highway. It’s a two lane road carved out of the side of this mountain, but there are so many amazing views. There are waterfalls and the view of the ocean. There’s the rainforest. There are roadside stops and then there’s Hana. It’s absolutely gorgeous and worth taking the drive.” She lowers her head, peeking at Lena through the fringe of her lashes, hesitant to continue—finding the whole process somewhat daunting. She’s not inherently afraid of rejection, but there’s something about being rejected by Lena Luthor that’s terrifying. She’s never willingly given someone the power to completely devastate her, but she thinks Lena possesses the ability. She’ll hide her disappointment well, pasting on a friendly smile. “If you don’t have any other plans that is, I would like for you to join me?” She hates that there’s an implied question mark at the end, but she’s said her piece and willing to give over control to Lena.</p><p>“So you want to spend the day with me?” Her brows draw together, a small divot appears between them. “And I won’t be a bother to you?”</p><p>Kara’s face scrunches as she takes a step closer to Lena. Her face is earnest as she answers,“no, why would you?” She enjoys Lena’s company and wants to spend as much time as possible with her. For so long, she heard stories about the other woman—so much so that she became less of a person and more of an idea to Kara— and she wants the chance to explore the side of her that no one else sees.</p><p>“Well,” Lena draws out the word, fiddling with the handle of the door. “Most people don’t really like spending a lot of time with me and get bored. I wouldn’t want you to feel obligated.”</p><p>“Trust me, the last thing I’m feeling is obligated,” Kara scoffs. “I would love for you to come. So are you interested?” She tries to stop the hope fluttering in her chest, mentally steeling herself for Lena’s inevitable rejection. She’s not under any delusion that what they’re doing will last passed the weekend, cognisant that Lena lives on the opposite coast, but maybe… just maybe a friendship can bloom. She would settle for friendship with Lena, if it meant spending time when they were available and being part of her life. She will take what she can get. Lena is unlike anyone she’s known and she’s the first person besides Lucy who hasn’t treated her differently since the accident.</p><p>Lena’s eyes dart to Kara’s lips before she drags them upwards to meet her eyes. “Yeah,” she says breathily, her face a little pink. “I would love to, but I don’t have any other clothes.”</p><p>Kara grins sheepishly with a touch of guilt reflected in her gaze. “About that,” she fidgets uncomfortably when Lena’s gaze narrows, seeing almost straight through her. “I may have asked Sam to pick out some clothes for you. She stopped by last night and waited until you went into the bathroom to grab some stuff and then left it outside the door for me to collect.”</p><p>“You sneaky little badger,” Lena chimes with ringing laughter. Kara finds the sound captivating, enchanting even, extremely charming, and wants to do whatever she can to make Lena laugh again or forever.</p><p>“Did you just quote <em>Boy Meets World</em>?”</p><p>Lena flushes, a light shade of pink dusting her cheeks. “Well- - well you recognised the line so whatever.” She huffs. Kara tries to hide her smile and fails miserably.</p><p>“I think it’s cute. Actually, I think you’re cute.” Kara disappears behind the SUV before Lena has a chance to reply, opening the hatch to remove the packed bags. She had her initial doubts about whether Lena would appreciate any of this and nearly talked herself out of approaching her hotel room numerous times before saying ‘fuck it’. She’s walked away from too many opportunities in the last year and a half, and she’s tired of running scared. So, she raised her fist and knocked, prepared for whatever happened next. She prays Lena doesn’t think she crossed any boundaries asking Sam to rifle through her belongings in search of appropriate attire for the day.</p><p>She sought her almost sister-in-law for advice— no offense to her sister at all—Sam was just better at unexpected romantic overtures, frequently surprising Alex with magical mystery adventures. It was never anything grand or ridiculously expensive, instead Sam picked a destination and they would spend their day wherever it was, just spending time together, and exploring wherever they ended up.</p><p>She hands the bag with Lena’s clothes in it to her and they head to the public restroom to change for their day around the island. Kara brims with excitement at the prospect of showing Lena one of her favourite places on the planet. She’s quick to change into her swimsuit, sliding shorts up her legs and a cute top over her suit. She tugs on her hoodie for warmth.</p><p>They meet back outside. They’ve each kept on their hoodies, aware that they’re still ten thousand feet above sea level, the air colder and thinner, and it’s only nearing half passed six. “Ready for an adventure?”</p><p>“You mean a kidnapping?” Lena smirks.</p><p>“You’ll be the death of me yet.”</p><p>“I thought that was the many orgasms I gave you. Didn’t you mumble something about death by gay?”</p><p>Kara chokes, coughing wildly over Lena’s bold words and loud cackles and her own lack of filter after many, many orgasms. Holy moly, had she actually say that out loud with Lena in listening range? “Who says I even came?” She challenges, desperate to wipe the pleased smirk of Lena’s face.</p><p>The corners of her mouth lift higher as Lena’s eyes glint salaciously, “oh darling,” she drawls, dragging a finger down Kara’s cloth covered arm. Despite the barrier, Kara’s skin sizzles in response to Lena’s fiery trail. “Trust me, I know how to make a woman come and you were definitely falling apart around my tongue two nights ago.”</p><p>“Okay,” Kara says, clapping her hands. “Um yeah- -you maybe have a talented tongue and fingers—” Her eyes widen dramatically and she freezes, shaking her head with horror painted across her gestures. “Wait… what? No um that wasn’t what I meant. I meant to say you’re really good at tha— what the fuck is wrong with me today?” She growls irritably, raking a hand through her loose waves. She rarely if ever gets flustered in the company of an attractive woman.</p><p>However, there’s <em>something </em>about Lena that reduces her to that stuttering ten year old again.</p><p>“What spell have you put me under Lena?”</p><p>“It’s okay if you enjoyed my fingers and my tongue,” Lena retorts with a cocky grin. Kara can’t even find it in herself to admonish her for it. She really is just that <em>good</em>. No, she’s great, out of this world, beyond any sexual encounter she’s ever had. And while not a large number, Lena surpasses everyone easily even their joint skills combined. Lena knows what she’s doing and how to induce and prolong pleasure for her partner. She was a goddess- - a sex goddess. She nearly murdered Kara with her eagerness and determination to destroy her. How was she supposed to go back to regular sex after all that?</p><p>“Do you wanna ride?” She blushes. “I-I mean do you want to go? Not ride my fingers because god, we are in a public place and I’m going to stop talking now. Shutting up.” She mimes zipping her lips.</p><p>Kara seriously needs the earth to swallow her whole. She’s giving Lena way too much material work with. And while Lena is aware of her attraction and childhood crush, Kara doesn’t need to put it <em>all</em> out there. She wants to smack herself or bash her head into the car door. Instead she slides into the driver’s seat and plugs in her phone for something to do. Music will give her the distraction she needs to stop dwelling over this.</p><p>It’s too late to try and recover whatever is left of her dignity. She’ll make an even bigger blunder and she’s done humiliating herself for the day. Or she hopes anyway.</p><p>Lena slides delicately into the passenger seat, composed with that innocent look of hers, the picture of emotional control. After she’s buckled in, Kara pulls out of the parking lot, ready to descend the mountain and start their day.</p>
<hr/><p>Kara taps her fingers against the wheel when she hears the opening notes of the next song, grinning widely, her head bobbing as she picks up the rhythm. She feels Lena’s eyes on her as they have been all morning, unable to pull away from her, and she feels her body flushing under her heated gaze. There’s <em>slight </em>judgment radiating off of her, but she senses Lena’s incredulity as Kara’s <a href="https://open.spotify.com/user/31ydlnvvi34vmjnqoplikpt3fbmm/playlist/41ADzLN8x5PsyJxjGBm7Ky?si=ERANhJiJS0SZA1wMa4LjSQ">playlist</a> shifts from one song to the next. She’s never been the type to curate playlists based on genre or theme. She likes what she likes and could care not for what others think of her chosen selections. Alex is usually quite vocal about her taste or lack thereof in music and has no qualms about changing the music.</p><p>The chorus picks up and Kara sends an apologetic glance in Lena’s direction as she sings at the top of her lungs, “‘cause I’m just a teenage dirtbag baby. Yeah, I’m just a teenage dirtbag baby. Listen to Iron Maiden, baby with me.”</p><p>Alex despises the song, snatching Kara’s phone whenever she catches her listening to it. She intentionally broke Kara’s first iPod after she continued to play it nonstop against her sister’s wishes, blasting it even louder after her parents’ replaced it to further antagonize her sister.</p><p>Luckily, her parents finally decided she and Alex needed their own rooms to stop Alex from committing sororicide. If Lena dislikes the song, she at least keeps her opinions to herself, though the slight twitching of her lips gives her away. It pleases Kara to see Lena relaxing and having fun after hearing stories from Alex and Lillian about Lena’s constant working even if she is having a laugh at Kara’s expense. “Oh yeah, dirtbag, no, she doesn’t know what she’s missin’. Oh yeah, dirtbag, no she doesn’t know what she’s missin’.”</p><p>Lena snorts as Kara belts out the remaining lines of the song. “So is this a kidnapping?”</p><p>Kara rolls her eyes. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”</p><p>“You think you’re awfully cute.”</p><p>“I know I am,” she assures Lena, flashing a saucy smile in her direction. “I may be cute but you’re adorable.”</p><p>“Do these lines work for you?”</p><p>“Ouch,” Kara says, smile dropping. She doesn’t want to leave Lena with the impression that she would do this with just anyone. She had been planning to do this on her own, spend a day exploring the island, driving around and letting the cards fall where they may. If she were at the hotel, her mother would seek her out for that inevitable talk, and she’s not in the mood to feel chastened. And she’s not trying to make things harder for her sister with her wedding the following day. Their family saga can play out later. “I don’t want you to think that I’m using a line on you.”</p><p>“I know,” Lena sighs apologetically. “I just hate not knowing what’s happening. And it really is weird to hangout with someone who just wants to spend time with me.”</p><p>“Get used to it— today, anyway. Because this is about spontaneity and having fun.”</p><p>“I can’t say I’ve had much experience with that since graduating.”</p><p>“Well with me around you’ll have to get used to it.” She tries not to read into her own words, more than aware of their potential connotation.</p><p>Then the opening chords of the next song begin and Kara’s gaze flickers in Lena’s direction, a grin teases the corners of her lips. She could pretend it was an innocent mistake, but Lena would see right through her. She added the song last night after the reminder of a younger, less than sober Lena. “I get knocked down but I get up again and you’re never going to bring me down.” Lena scowls at her, flipping her off as she tries to snatch Kara’s phone off her lap. Kara smacks her hand with a tsk, wagging her finger at Lena. “There’s no need to be naughty.”</p><p>“I mean… I can be naughty whenever you want.” Kara sputters incoherently, the image of Lena performing naughty acts infiltrates her brain, and she nearly loses her concentration. Lena slides her fingers up Kara’s bare leg, trailing to the inside of her knee where the skin is more sensitive to touch. Tingles shoot up her spine and hot desire pools low in her belly as they crawl further upward, gently teasing with their light touch. Lena’s hand continues to inch further up— testing the boundaries to see how far Kara will let her go before she puts a stop to it— her grin coquettish and sultry as her fingers dance higher, stopping to play with the hem of Kara’s shorts, dangerously close to her center. Kara bites her lip, feeling a little heated all of a sudden— her heart races in her chest, and she can hear the loud thumping rushing in her ears.</p><p>She shoots Lena a glare, redirecting her attention to the road as she forces salacious thoughts away. This is not the time for her to get distracted. She has a mission and sex is not on the list, at least for <em>now</em>.</p><p>“Fine,” Kara says, tapping skip on her phone. “I changed the song just for you.”</p><p>“This is hardly better.” Lena complains, her fingers drifting back down to safer territory after securing a mini victory. </p><p>“Driver chooses the songs. Those are the rules.” And then she starts singing the words to Justin Bieber’s <em>Baby, </em>deriving great pleasure from Lena’s irritation and loud grumbling. “<em>When I was thirteen, I met my first love.”</em></p><p>Lena is groaning, but Kara thinks she secretly enjoys it. Kara doesn’t think she’s ever seen someone so soft and beautiful in her entire life. She may have her sharp edges, but Kara sees through all of that- - to the real Lena. And she wants her to know the real Kara, not Alex’s sister or the athlete, but the girl beneath all of that.</p>
<hr/><p>“So was she your last relationship?”</p><p>Kara confirms with a swift bob of her head, eyes focused on the road straight head, navigating the curves with an expert hand. She knows these roads about as well as the ones back home. “I haven’t felt brave enough to pursue anything after her. She took something from me. It happened slowly at first.”</p><p>Loving Emily came easy in the beginning. She was a lonely teen, searching for someone in a sea of others, wading through the water in the hopes someone would save her from the endlessness of looking and her own loneliness. Then there was Emily— who recently transferred to the tutelage of Kara’s longtime coach— and Kara found her fascinating, captivated by her beauty and the mystery of her. It was the eyes that reeled her in. She was unable to resist the lure, the temptation, recognizing something in Emily’s that she saw reflected in her own. She was caught up in her orbit before she knew it and struggled to find her escape velocity.</p><p>“She was enshrouded in mystery and I was caught up in the fantasy of her, oblivious to reality and her true nature. She was interested in me and I wanted to figure her out. She had a brokenness in her eyes and I naively believed I could fix it.” Kara purses her lips, the car’s speed decreasing further as she moves around another bend. “She fooled me. She had me so snowed, and I didn’t question any of it. There were moments where she couldn’t keep up the facade and she slipped. She would get angry and defensive.”</p><p>Kara sighs, melancholy seeping into it. Her fingers remain lax against the wheel and her body rests comfortably against the seat. She feels in control, reminding herself it’s in the past, and whatever transpired between her and Emily is of no concern to her now. It’s Emily’s cross to bear and her consequences she’ll have to live with for the rest of her life. Still some part of her aches for the person who asked her out after Nationals, taking her out for coffee— spending hours feigning interest in Kara’s stories, asking questions at the right parts, but ultimately starting the beginnings of weaving her web to trap Kara. The love is gone, died a long time ago, but she won’t ever forget the lessons being with Emily taught her.</p><p>“There were good times, but the bad times would soon follow,” she admits, finding thinking about it no longer hurts the way it did a year ago. Talking to Lena is a balm to her soul. She’s contemplative and silent, absorbing Kara’s words without interrupting her, intuitively understanding Kara needs to unload to someone besides her therapist. And Lena is the first person besides her best friend that she feels comfortable sharing the intimate details of her relationship with her ex-girlfriend. “After winning at the Olympics, we were sort of not together then, so I- -“ Heat creeps into her cheeks, her chest and the tips of her ears are hued in various shades of pink and red. She removes a hand from the wheel, gesturing wildly to indirectly refer to her one night with Sara.</p><p>Lena’s eyes widen and she sits up in remembrance of the awkward moment she excused herself, things a little too uncomfortable and tense for her to want to remain around Alex, Sara, and Kara, especially with the knowing looks Sara gave her. “OH!”</p><p>“Yeah,” Kara says, swallowing thickly around the word. She clears her throat, shifting in her seat. “I was sad. Truth be told, Emily wasn’t all that happy for me. She had broken up with me after the short program where I placed first. She was in sixth and aside from a team medal, it appeared unlikely she would medal.” </p><p>Kara tried to comfort her inconsolable girlfriend, but Emily started picking a fight, resulting in their break-up. She hated that everyone focused on Kara and wanted the spotlight for herself, but seemed destined to remain in her girlfriend’s shadow. Kara tried to explain she never thought of it like that. Emily refused to listen and left.</p><p>“She heard about me and Sara from someone who saw us at a club together. When she found me, she was angry and grabbed my arm. She wouldn’t let go and her grip was tight as she started another argument. She accused me of being unfaithful. I reminded her she broke up with me and I was free to do as I liked. When she finally released me, there were finger shaped bruises.” Afterward when the relationship was officially terminated, Kara felt stupid for accepting Emily’s pretty lies dressed as apologies. “Sara was really sweet about it. She wanted to help me feel better and that’s all there was to it.” There were no feelings or promises exchanged. Kara wanted to feel good about herself after the break-up and Sara was willing to offer her that. “I was a gold medaled Olympian, but instead of celebrating that, I was moping over Emily.”</p><p>“Given the conclusion to the saga, I’m assuming things only worsened from there?” Kara appreciates the lack of judgment or pity in her tone. There’s empathy shining in her eyes, but she isn’t looking at Kara as if she’s some damsel or victim in need of saving. She’s looking at her like she’s the hero of her own story. There’s admiration and something else she can’t determine, but she’ll try to pinpoint it later, tucking it away for further examination.</p><p>Kara nods. “You would assume correctly. She never got physical with me again, except for you know…” Her voice trails off sadly. “<em>Anyway</em>, I didn’t realize she had burrowed in deeper after that, pushing her way in until there was less of me. She molded me and altered what she didn’t like, curbing my interests whenever I wandered. I hadn’t realized then what she was doing. I was happy she took me back. She was one of the first people to <em>see</em> me and <em>want </em>me.” It was how she convinced herself to stay in a relationship that wasn’t meant to be. She fervently believed she could make it work. “I was disappearing. She stole parts of me and they’ve never been fully recovered.”</p><p>Though Kara believes things are starting to look up. The grey clouds have disappeared and for the first time in over a year, the skies are clear and the colors vibrant. The gloom that shrouded her has abated, vanishing into non-existence the longer she spends in Lena’s company. She’s everything Kara neglected to keep looking for when she found Emily. She settled. Unwillingly, her mind conjures the words of Maya Angelou, and it terrifies her how close the words hit for her— “h<em>ave enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time</em>.” Maybe this is that one <em>more</em> time.</p><p>Lena smiles sadly, pulling her legs up onto the seat. Kara can feel her eyes on her. “What did you do when you realized it?”</p><p>A tiny smile flits across Kara’s face when she thinks about those last few months of her relationship. “I began to rebel. I was tired of conforming to her ideas about what I should be and how I should behave. I didn’t want to be the <em>perfect</em> version of me she imagined because that girl didn’t exist. We were on the verge of breaking up long before the <em>incident</em>.” Kara had been contemplating it for weeks, building up her nerve to finally end the relationship and permanently cut ties with Emily. “I was planning to break-up with her before Cat dropped her. She told me she had concerns about our relationship, which was one of the reasons she dropped her aside from her slacking performance.”</p><p>Silence stretches between them, comfortable and light. “You’re amazing. I hope you know that.” Lena wets her lips, straightening her posture. “I get bad and toxic relationships,” she reveals with a casual flick of her eyes in Kara’s direction. It’s almost too fast. But Kara manages to catch the movement nonetheless.</p><p>Her interest is piqued. She tampers down her eagerness to hear more about Lena and her life in Metropolis. She has a vague idea which of her relationships she’s referring to, recalling Sam and Alex complaining and griping about Lena’s ex-girlfriend Andrea. Neither had liked her from the start, and she hadn’t done much to ingratiate herself in their circle of friends.</p><p>“I’m sure you probably saw somewhere some of the details about my <em>last</em> relationship.” Lena rolls her eyes and waves her hand, indicating social media and the press who reported heavily on her relationship with a prominent socialite. “She wasn’t a fan of Alex or Sam,” she starts, though Kara knows this part. “She preferred to associate with people of a higher standing and didn’t understand why I would stay friends with them instead of rubbing elbows with other elites like myself,” she scoffs loudly, disgust visible in her features. “She would cancel when I did make plans with them, or she would come up with some event or dinner we had to attend instead of hanging out with my friends.”</p><p>“Sam and Alex talked a bit about her. I overheard them a few times ranting about the horrible Andrea.”</p><p>Lena laughs. “Sounds like them. They hated her from the first meeting. Can’t say I blame them all that much. But it got worse from there. She hated that I worked all the time and was slowly taking over duties from my mom and brother. She wanted me to spend all of my time with her.” Lena leans her head against the window, staring passed Kara to the ocean, lurking in the distance, waves crashing against the rocks, white sea spray shooting everywhere. </p><p>“Rumors started surfacing about my family and the internal going ons in my family’s company, how the board voted and I was taking over for my brother. There were too many intimate details released for it not to be someone who knew about what was happening.”</p><p>Kara recalls all the crazy shit coming out in the press about Lex soliciting escorts and his rocky history with the opposite sex, his constant mismanagement of the company, and his overall lack of responsibility. He refused to leave his party boy days behind and supposedly the board of directors for LCorp issued an ultimatum after one of Lex’s many scandals ended up in the press, reflecting poorly on his family and company.</p><p>“Aside from the board, my parents, Lex, myself, Alex and Sam, Andrea was the only other person privy to all the details.”</p><p>Kara winces, noting the detachment in Lena’s voice. “I’m sorry.” Betrayal by a loved one hurts and there’s nothing to soothe the bitter disappointment upon realizing people weren’t who you believed them to be. When the veil lifts, revealing their true self, there’s no going back, only forward. “What happened? Did you confront her?”</p><p>“At first we did have to determine if there was a leak in the board. The board could be sneaky when they wanted. It’s not an impossibility that they had a hand in it, but after we cleared all of them, there weren’t a lot of choices left. I was more inclined to think it was Andrea. Alex has been my best friend since kindergarten and just the least likely candidate. And Sam is too loyal to intentionally hurt a friend, besides they kept telling me for months Andrea was a snake. There was something about her they didn’t trust. I fancied myself in love. Suppose I got what I deserved in the end.”</p><p>“You didn’t deserve any of that and it was awfully shitty of her to spill your family’s business to the press.” Kara had to deal with her own shit after her accident. Her hands clench tightly, squeezing the wheel, almost painfully. Her ex tried to paint it as one huge accident, never taking responsibility for what she did. “Fuck her for trying to humiliate your family like that.”</p><p>“Woah,” Lena squeezes Kara’s leg. “Calm down Kara, it’s fine.”</p><p>Kara shakes her head, vehemently. “No it isn’t. You trusted her and she betrayed you.”</p><p>“I love too hard and too <em>much.”</em></p><p><em>“</em>There’s no such thing as loving someone too much. You believed in her and she hurt you.” It’s cut and dry for her. There are no shades of grey in this tale, and she refuses to budge from her position.</p><p>“Well if it wasn’t for her doing that, I wouldn’t be here with you.”</p><p>Kara’s anger dissipates with those words and warmth spreads in her chest. Her face softens and she covers Lena’s hand on her thigh with one of her own, as she pulls the car off to the side. It’s fortuitous really as they have arrived at one of their first stops. “Come on,” she says, exiting the car, giving Lena no time to respond.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> “I’ve got something to show you and it’ll take both of our minds off past relationships.”</span></p><p>If she allows herself to properly look at Lena, she knows she’ll do something stupid like kiss her. And the thing is she really does want to kiss her—to feel her soft, plump lips against her own, thread her fingers through dark, silky strands, and just lose herself in Lena. She wishes she could pretend the kiss meant nothing to her. But the kiss was more than that, or at least it was for her. It felt like a beginning. She’s not certain of Lena’s stance on the matter, however she wouldn’t be opposed to repeating it again. It felt natural and intimate, beyond anything she’s experienced.</p><p>Kissing Lena is like a revelation. And there’s something terrifying about that realization. She’s never thought about kissing someone as often as she’s thought about it with Lena. She’s cycled through a few different tracks, oscillating between several emotions as she tried to figure out what she was feeling. Her inevitable conclusion after mentally analyzing all of the data she’s collected is that she’s gone for Lena Luthor.</p><p>And that is the most unexpected part of the whole weekend.</p><p>Sure, she was aware the other woman would make an appearance as Alex’s best friend. However, it’s the attraction she wasn’t prepared for, the sizzle when they touched, and the connection that continues to strengthen and grow.</p><p>“So what is it we are here to see?” Lena asks, finally stepping out of the car.</p><p>Kara rolls her eyes with a haughty laugh. “Where’s your sense of adventure?”</p><p>“Back in my hotel room, still sleeping,” she replies drily.</p><p>“Very funny,” Kara says, making a face. “Come on, I want to show you one of the <a href="https://postimg.cc/gallery/k2yJPP7">waterfalls</a>. You’ll see a lot as we continue down the highway, but we can’t stop for them all, or we’ll be here for hours and we’ve got that luau tonight.” She drags Lena over to see one of her favorite waterfalls, though some days it can vary as it takes hours for the water to travel down the mountain.</p><p>The densely overgrown flora and fauna adds to the picturesque landscape. The sky is a light blue with sparse, white fluffy clouds floating above them. The water flows under a bridge, tumbling down jagged rocks into a pool of rippling water, tinged a dark green in their current light. There are a few other cars stopped beside them to take pictures.</p><p>“It’s so pretty and peaceful,” Lena says, looking out over the guardrail. There’s nothing but the sounds of nature surrounding them from the rushing of water, the exotic birds soaring high above, and chirp of insects in the trees. “There’s definitely nothing like this back home.”</p><p>“I love coming here. Hawaiians believe everything is connected. For them, water is life. It comes mostly from the fact that water has fed their taro farms for over a 1000 years. They developed a system to water their farms without disrupting the flow of the water to the ocean.”</p><p>“You know a lot about all of this.”</p><p>“I’ve been here loads of times. I was bound to pick up a thing or two.” Kara shrugs. “You’ll actually be able to try something made from taro tonight at the luau.” She hides her grimace. She likes taro in bread, but poi is not really a food she enjoys. She tells everyone to try it for themselves to form their own opinion, but her own has been solidified since the first time she came to the island. “We better get going because there’s a few other places I want to stop before we reach Hana.”</p><p>They stop a few times to look at some of the other waterfalls. Kara drives at a slow crawl, careful of all the dangerous curves around the mountain, but she does slow down and point out certain things for Lena to see when they pass.</p>
<hr/><p>“Okay, I have to ask,” Lena starts, turning to Kara with an expectant look, tugging anxiously on her fingers. “It’s been on my mind since yesterday. Why did you seem so sure about my parents…” Her flaming red cheeks finish the question for her. Kara deduces what she’s referencing, likely recalling their awkward meet up with their moms and then Kara’s text about her parents’ extracurricular activities.</p><p>Kara blushes, shifting uncomfortably, conjuring a long ago memory, she would sooner forget. She clears her throat, wetting her dry lips. “Uh… well you see- - oh fuck it!” She exclaims with a furtive glance in Lena’s direction. “When I started training in National City. I stayed with your parents. My own were concerned about letting me at sixteen live and study there and then Lillian offered to watch over me. My parents would visit every other weekend.” She chuckles with a shake of her head. “I came home early from practice one day and I assumed your parents were just watching Netflix. I could hear <em>Orange Is the New Black </em>and some panting.” Kara logically assumed it came from the tv, aware that there were some explicit scenes in the show. “I popped into say hi and—” Kara blanches, grimacing as the memory unfurls in her mind. She shivers in disgust as Lillian and Lionel quickly fix themselves, Lillian wiping the lipstick from her husband’s neck.</p><p>Lena furrows her brow, eyes widening a second later when she fully comprehends why Kara cut herself off at that part in the story. “OH! MY! GOD!”</p><p>Kara nods tightly. The image is forever imprinted in her mind. It refuses fo allow her the privilege of forgetting the horror show. “All three of us swore to never mention it again, agreeing it was best for all involved parties. We were all apologising and talking over each other. Your dad was… um… y’know.” She motions zipping with her right hand, while keeping her left firmly on the wheel. She avoids looking in Lena’s direction, needing a moment to gather her wits about her, knowing if she looked at the other woman, she would crack. She had kept her promise the last six years, never divulging the events of that night until now.</p><p>The day still haunts her and whenever she’s in the presence of both Luthor parents, she struggles to meet their eyes, pink dusting her cheeks as her gaze flits away. She creates an excuse to leave their company. It was altogether an embarrassing situation for all of them. After that night, Kara remembered to text Lillian or Lionel before departing the rink to prevent another incident from occurring. She’s sure there were a few close calls, but she never witnessed any debauchery between either Luthor after that.</p><p>Lena stares out of the window, face expressionless, lips slightly parted. Then a laugh tumbles from her pretty pink mouth, followed by another and soon she’s bent over in her seat cackling with great delight. Her booming laughter fills the car. Kara shoots her a quick glare, mouth turned down in a pout, hoping to have garnered some sympathy and failing miserably as Lena laughs at her expense. Perhaps if she weren’t the afflicted party, she might view it differently, but she’ll never quite escape the image of Lillian fixing her hair and tugging up her shirt to cover the bruises on her chest and neck, or Lionel tugging the zipper on his pants, acting overly casual when Kara entered a second too late.</p><p>Kara was secretly grateful to discover Lionel had an engagement in the works long before Alex and Sam decided on a date. She loves Lionel to bits and adores him like a father figure. But she has never quite been able to look at him without hearing the faint echo of his zipper. It’s simply not possible for her. “It’s not funny,” she mumbles unhappily, navigating off the highway to their main destination, Hana. “I was scarred for life. For <em>life</em>, Lena.”</p><p>Finding out her across the street neighbors had a healthy and active sex life was the equivalent of realizing her parents did. And they had an empty house after Kara moved to National City for college and training. Alex reminded her regularly that their parents were probably up to no good with their daughters absent. Whenever she starts, Kara places her hands over her ears, whipping her head back and forth, screaming ‘la la la’ at the top of her lungs, in complete denial.</p>
<hr/><p>Before their next official stop, they make a few others at some of the roadside stops set up. Kara buys them each a loaf of banana bread, moaning happily when the baked delight hits her tongue. She shoots Lena down when she tries to pay, waving off her concerns, and reminding her that it’s all her treat. Lena crosses her arms and pouts unhappily. And Kara conceals her smile, laughing internally at how adorable Lena is when she sulks. She buys them some fresh pineapple and even finds a beautiful lei that’s perfect for her companion.</p><p>She drapes the lei over Lena’s head, pulling back with a grin. “It’s made from plumerias. They grow all over the islands and are commonly used in leis.”</p><p>“They’re actually one of my favorite flowers.”</p><p>“Seriously?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Then I don’t need to bombard you with all of their many meanings.”</p><p>“Nope, but I think my favorite of them all is new beginnings.”</p><p>And it’s extremely difficult for her to not read more into that. Kara’s hands shake at her side, which soon becomes a full body tremble when it starts to hit her that this is no longer a one night stand. Her eyes well with tears that she brushes away with the back of her hands as she follows Lena back to the car. This is a <em>thing</em>.</p><p>She’s brought back to the present when Lena reaches out to grab her hand, tangling their fingers- - and she knows she should’ve seen it coming from the start. She jumped a few stages in the process, but the end result is all the same. She wants this, wants Lena. Maybe it started when she was nine and arrived at the Danvers’ home to a sister who didn’t want her, sitting outside as Alex argued loudly with their parents, and Lena sat next to her on the porch, saying nothing and everything in her own silent way. Or perhaps it was when she was ten and the neighborhood kids ganged up on her, chasing her until she was gasping for breath when Lena popped out of nowhere, defending her against all of them and their ugly taunts. Still, it was years before she saw the Luthor scion and she thinks that it all started again two nights ago when Lena sat down near her, ignoring all the other patrons, with her eyes hiding her sadness and loneliness until she looked up to meet Kara’s. And then like a magnet, she was pulled into her field.</p><p>She tried to stay away after their disastrous morning after, fully convinced that it was all a giant mistake, and Lena would never—could never feel anything for her. She was a blip. And then she felt that familiar green gaze on her at the beach, following her as she cut through the waves, and though the water was cold against her skin, she was very warm.</p><p>The fluttering in her stomach has only increased, and it all started with a single look directed at her in a hotel bar.</p>
<hr/><p>Her anonymity ends in an instant when she receives the first of many texts from her best friend. She feels she should be surprised, but she’s not. Somehow they always find her. They have a vested interest in her life that certainly made her feel apologetic for all the celebrities she used to obsess over.</p><p><b>Luce </b> <em>(10:40 AM)</em></p><p>Have you seen this?</p><p>She opens the instagram link with hesitant fingers, lips thinning when she catches sight of herself kissing Lena. Lena’s face is angled slightly away from the camera, obscuring most of her features from view, but it’s obvious that it is in fact Kara in the picture.</p><p>The profile is that of a well-known photographer who happened to also watch the sun rise with them. He managed to capture the two of them kissing in front of the rising sun.</p><p>She has mixed feelings about the whole thing. There’s some uneasiness toiling away in her belly. It’s a great photo. If she didn’t know any better, she would assume the two women were a couple from the way they hold each other - - Lena’s arms loosely wrapped around her shoulders and her own wrapped around Lena’s waist, bodies pressed together to fight off the morning chill.</p><p>Something visceral inside of her breaks free the longer she stares at the image. Eyes drawn to the intimacy casually displayed and <em>God</em>, she wants all of this to be real. She wants to mean something to Lena besides a weekend fling. A whole world of possibilities has opened up to her and it’s the first time she fully wants to dedicate herself to something besides ice skating.</p><p>“You okay?” Lena asks, tipping back her water bottle. “Your eyes glazed over and I’ve been calling your name for like five minutes.”</p><p>Kara flushes, lowering her gaze to the ground as she stuffs her phone into her back pocket. She doesn’t mean to hide this from Lena, but at the same time, she has no idea what any of it means. She’s only starting to come to terms with her feelings in all of this, let alone considering Lena’s side of it. She’ll show her later, but she definitely needs more time to sit with this and maybe stare at how perfectly they fit together.</p><p>“Oh uh yeah, I’m great. I just got sent something is all and it surprised me.”</p><p>Lena flicks a perfectly sculpted brow upward, her expression dubious. “Are you sure?”</p><p>“Yes,” she squeaks. She clears her throat, feeling more heat creep into her cheeks. “I mean yes.”</p><p>“It wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain picture on Insta would it?”</p><p>“Wh-what? You know about that? How?”</p><p>“My best friend Jack is apparently a huge fan of yours and found the picture.” She offers her phone to Kara. “He’s internally reeling and acting like a real idiot.” She rolls eyes fondly.</p><p><b>Jack </b> <em>(10:00 AM)</em></p><p>Is that my best friend who said she’d</p><p>be single forever, caught snogging a</p><p>hot blonde?</p><p>👍🏻</p><p>I see you 👀</p><p>I didn’t even know you liked blondes.</p><p>Where’d you meet her?</p><p><b>Lena </b> <em>(10:17 AM)</em></p><p>I like blondes just fine😒</p><p>Don’t understand why everyone thinks I don’t</p><p><b>Jack </b> <em>(10:18 AM)</em></p><p>So who is she?</p><p>Do I get a name?</p><p><b>Lena </b> <em>(10:21 AM)</em></p><p>Uh… I’d rather not say</p><p><b>Jack </b> <em>(10:26 AM)</em></p><p>The only reason you’d say that</p><p>was if you were shagging</p><p>the forbidden 🍎</p><p><b>Lena </b>(<em>10:32 AM)</em></p><p>She’s legal! Thank you</p><p>very much!</p><p><b>Jack </b> <em>(10:34 AM)</em></p><p>I never pegged you for a cradle robber</p><p>Lena I’ve never been more proud 😭</p><p><b>Lena </b> <em>(10:35 AM)</em></p><p>😌</p><p>Fine you caught me 🙌🏻</p><p>She’s only a few years younger than me</p><p><b>Jack </b> <em>(10:38 AM)</em></p><p>Please tell me you shagged the ⛸</p><p>Is it Alex’s little sister? Please say yes</p><p><b>Lena </b> <em>(10:A0 PM)</em></p><p>How tf do you know that?</p><p>How do you know what her</p><p>sister looks like?</p><p><b>Jack </b> <em>(10:47 AM)</em></p><p>I feel like a proud dad</p><p>I can’t believe you fucked your</p><p>best friend’s sister. #Goals</p><p>And insta totally busted her</p><p>I recognised your magnificent bone</p><p>structure</p><p>and that kiss 🥵</p><p>Also total fan of KD!!!!!</p><p><b>Lena </b> <em>(10:54 PM)</em></p><p>I’m having a fever dream</p><p>🤦♀️</p><p>“Tell him I’ll give him an autograph.”</p><p>“I’m pretty sure that’ll make his whole year.”</p><p>“Then I definitely don’t think he could handle meeting me. He would probably faint at the sight.”</p><p>“Maybe,” she chuckles. “Have you read the comments yet?”</p><p>“No, should I?” She’s almost frightened by what her fans have to say. They have strong opinions about her and how she should live her life, not that she lives by their advice. She’s considerate in her replies and thanks them for caring about her, but she prefers to keep her life fairly private.</p><p>“They’re something else. Go ahead.” Lena nods down to her phone. Kara switches out of her messages to Instagram, ignoring the picture this time, and heading right for the comments.</p><p><b>SkateMad </b>@KelseySkates</p><p>Holy shit! Is that Kara Danvers? I think I see tongue.</p><p><b>Kara the Ice God </b>@iceprincess98</p><p>No freaking way! Is she in Hawaii? Wait, isn’t her sister getting married?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> And that’s def some 👅  action happening.</span></p><p><b>Penny R </b>@sapphicskater</p><p>The other woman totally reminds me of someone. I’ve seen that jawline.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Of course she would get some equally as hot 🥵 </span></p><p><b>SunnyDanvers </b>@lucylu</p><p>It totally is her! She posted on her Snapchat.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Damn! And here I thought she was single but good for her!</span></p><p>Kara’s phone continues to buzz in her pocket and she just knows it is Lucy wanting her to spill all the tea. She’s intentionally withheld all information about her trip from her best friend. She loves Lucy to pieces, but she’s a bit zealous and she definitely would’ve pushed Kara to pursue Lena.</p><p><b>Luce</b> (<em>10:41 AM)</em></p><p>Kara!!! Have you been holding out on me?</p><p>Don’t tell me… <em>(10:44 AM)</em></p><p>LENA!!!<em> (10:45 AM)</em></p><p>Your childhood crush? Aka your sister’s BFF <em>(10:45 AM)</em></p><p>Omg, now that I’ve said it. Can’t unsee it <em>(10:47 AM)</em></p><p><b>Kara </b> <em>(10:59 AM)</em></p><p>How tf do you know?</p><p><b>Luce </b> <em>(11:01 AM)</em></p><p>It went viral. Some photographer caught it.</p><p>Your followers recognized you.</p><p>So far no one knows it’s Lena</p><p>But you know how these internet sleuths are.</p><p>Was she good?</p><p><b>Kara </b> <em>(11:03 AM)</em></p><p>I hate you</p><p>I’m not giving you the details</p><p><b>Luce </b> <em>(11:04 AM)</em></p><p>Must’ve been really good then</p><p>Good for you! You’ve only liked her</p><p>for forever.<em>(11:06 AM)</em></p><p>And you know I enjoy living vicariously through you<em>(12:09 AM)</em></p>
<hr/><p>Kara and Lena make one last stop before they arrive in Hana. They’re a few miles outside of the town. “This is Pi’ilanihale Heiau. It’s the largest heiau on all of the islands. They’re ancient temples.”</p><p>The first time she visited, she wasn’t that impressed by a bunch of lava rocks piled together. She was a kid and she would have rather spent her time at the beach or eating. History was one of her least favorite subjects at the time, but over time she’s come to have a new appreciation for the history of Hawaii.</p><p>The temple is located on a bluff, surrounded by the lushness of Maui with coconut palms overlooking the ocean, tropical flowers native to the island and breadfruit trees, all adding to the Hawaiian atmosphere.</p><p>“They don’t actually know much about the history of this heiau, but there are theories. We can’t go inside obviously, but the views of the water are pretty from the bluff.”</p><p>A few lava rocks jut out of the ocean, interrupting the flow of the water, spraying the air with white sea foam. The water reflects the color of the sky and it’s all so beautiful. She hates to leave such a view, snapping a few more pictures on her phone, before entwining her hand with Lena’s again as they head back towards the entrance of the botanical gardens.</p><p>“You know I’ve held a lot of things in my hands, but I have to say the best by far is yours.”</p><p><em>I’m in love</em>, she thinks. <em>She’s officially destroyed me</em>, and when Lena presses her mouth to the back of Kara’s hand, that soft smile of hers lighting up her whole face, Kara thinks, no, she knows there’s no place she would rather be. She spends the next two hours in and around Hana thinking about the electrical current that flowed through her when Lena kissed her hand and other places she would like Lena to kiss.</p><p>She doesn't trust herself not to say something stupid and ruin everything between them, so she listens to Lena. She loves the lilt in her voice, the pronunciation of certain vowel sounds, and the curl of her lips when she speaks. She could listen to her talk forever if given the opportunity.</p><p>And the other thing she adds to her list of things to think about later is the clasp of her hand in Lena’s, whether they are in the car or strolling down the street in search of lunch, never letting go even as they struggled to eat one handed. They eat on the beach at the Huli Huli food truck, sharing the food, and enjoy the spectacular views of Koki Beach- - Kara laughing when Lena comments on the red sand, ‘<em>but it’s red’</em>.</p><p>“There’s no swimming,” Kara informs her. “It’s a popular surf spot though. There’s riptides and it can get quite dangerous. I’ll tell you about the legend of Pele later.” She swivels around, pushing herself to her feet and stretching. “I would take you to Hamoa, but we are a little short on time. I want to take you to the Seven Sacred Pools before we have to head back.”</p><p>“Sacred Pools?” Kara turns to find Lena with her brows deeply furrowed.</p><p>“You forgot the word seven,” she laughs, collecting their trash. “There’s an official Hawaiian name, Pools of ‘Ohe’o.”</p>
<hr/><p>Lena has no idea what propelled her to agree to spend the day with Kara. Essentially they are two strangers who know many of the same people. Sure they had slept together and flirted shamelessly, skirting the line of appropriate behavior in a public setting, but she’s never had fun like this in her life.</p><p>She <em>mostly</em> followed the rules with the occasional spot of trouble when she was younger. But still she rarely is the type to go with the flow- - allowing other people to decide things for her isn’t something she’s particularly familiar with.</p><p>And yet with Kara, she blindly follows. She asks few questions about their destinations, content to enjoy the journey with Kara at her side. They are teetering a line and she’s hesitant to cross, unsure if she’s correctly reading the signals Kara sends her.</p><p>The blonde is somewhat of a mystery waiting to be unraveled. She’s started putting the pieces together and figuring out the many dimensions of Kara Danvers. There’s teasing and flirting, and then there’s what’s blooming between them. When their limbs so much as brush, sparks shoot down her spine and there’s an uptick in her breathing.</p><p>Things are easy between them without any of the strain Lena has found with people she’s gone out with recently. Kara never asks for anything and instead is the one giving everything. She told Lena about her past with her ex and Lena felt compelled to share her own story. As eager as she is to learn about Kara, she desires to share everything about herself too. She feels the reciprocal nature of whatever is happening between them.</p><p>Visiting Kara’s favorite places is revealing, providing Lena with a firsthand view of the pieces that comprise the blonde. She doesn’t think anyone has ever had such an unclose experience with her.</p><p>Which is how she knows Kara has ruined her.</p><p>From the moment she arrived at her door in the pre-dawn hours of the morning, Lena knew that going with her would change their entire dynamic. Flirting was fun and kept things light without them having to delve deeper, but she wants to dig into Kara’s foundations- - to discover what makes Kara tick.</p><p>Before this trip, she was content with her life and remaining alone. She didn’t concern herself with relationships, brushing off her mother and her friends whenever the topic arose. She figured eventually everything would fall into place. And it did.</p><p>With a searing ache, she realizes she’s now caught in the grip of Kara’s gravity. She’s a planet orbiting a sun, basking in its’ illuminance.</p><p>They barreled their way passed the bleeding tension of some of their earliest awkward interactions when they had little to say and have managed to create a base from which they can continue to build. She cracks jokes over Kara’s taste in music and the millions of playlists she’s created on Spotify, ‘<em>who needs this many?’</em> Laughing when Kara sniffs haughtily, nose sticking in the air like some uppity aristocrat, ‘<em>people with superior taste,’ </em>she pouted, making Lena cackle loudly, stomach quaking with the force of her laughter.</p><p>She gives into the twitching of her fingers and their hot desire to touch Kara, leaving her hand to rest on Kara’s warm thigh, feeling the skin pebble under her touch. Normally she would bury such a desire, embarrassed by her thoughts, but she doesn’t with Kara. She’s taken back to being thirteen with her first crush, her stomach flipping with every brilliant smile or flash of that blue gaze from Kara.</p><p>“Why me?” The question burns her tongue, leaving scorch marks. She’s tried a few times over the day to ask it, never finding the courage to push them passed the lump taking up residence in her throat. “I mean why did you crush on me as a kid. What made me so special?”</p><p>Young Lena hardly paid a lick of attention to the spirited, if not sometimes irritating Kara.</p><p>There’s some hesitance from Kara as she chews her bottom lip, tugging roughly with her teeth. “You saw me.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You probably don’t remember as vividly as I do, but my first official day home was an absolute disaster. I had met my parents a few times when I was still living with my aunt, but Alex was always conveniently busy. So our first meeting happened the day they brought me home. Upon our first meeting, Alex picked a fight with our parents, ranting loudly, uncaring that I could hear everything.” As Kara continues, Lena remembers more of it, shocked by Alex’s vehemence against the adoption.</p><p>Her eyes slammed shut when she caught sight of a tearful blonde girl clutching tightly at a stuffed rabbit. Her eyes tracking the three Danvers as they moved further into the house, voices carrying as they went back and forth. While she was younger and a technical Luthor when she was adopted, she was wanted from the start. Her brother did everything to make her feel comfortable and welcome in her new home.</p><p>She wanted to wring Alex’s neck for throwing a fit, to remind her it was her own fault that she hadn’t met her new sister. Instead, she gathered the blonde in her arms, blanketing her in her own warmth as they sat on the porch. She stroked the fine blonde hair, brushed away the tears soaking her face, and sat there with her until Alex stormed out of the house. She glanced apologetically at the small blonde girl whose name she barely knew— the girl nodded in the direction of her best friend and she went after her.</p><p>“You were nice to me when you didn’t know me. You kept me company when my own sister wanted nothing to do with me. You let me cry in silence and comforted me when you didn’t have to.”</p><p>“You reminded me of myself. When I met my mom, she held me and it was the safest I had felt in days. And I saw how visibly hurt you were by Alex’s words and all of the shouting. I didn’t know what to do, so I offered myself.”</p><p>“You did the right thing. I appreciated it,” Kara says, wrapping her hand around Lena’s. “You didn’t try to fix it or patronize me. We sat there in silence and that was okay.”</p><p>“Wow!” Lena exclaims with a bewildered shake of her dark head. “I had forgotten all about that day.” She’s shocked that Kara holds it close with such fondness.</p><p>“I didn’t. You, Lena Luthor leave an impression. You may be oblivious to the effect you have on people, but trust me you have an effect.”</p><p>Lena tries and fails not to think about the sort of impression she’s left behind. How did she manage to have such a massive impact on Kara when all she can recall is the many times she and Alex ignored the blonde? Kara naturally segues into another story of Lena coming to her rescue and it’s strange to see herself through the eyes of another. It’s a rare opportunity, so she sits there and listens to Kara wax poetic about the heroic Lena.</p><p>“—and they were throwing rocks at me near the bluff by my house. They kept calling me Prissy Danvers and stuck up because I didn’t go to school and spent a lot of time at the rink. And then you appeared through the mist, or maybe that’s how my mind remembers it, and you got them to leave me alone. You threatened to call all of their parents and they scrambled after that. You patched me up and kissed my cheek. I couldn’t focus on anything for the rest of the day. My coach was confused about my lack of focus, but all I thought about was how fast my heart pounded in my chest and the feel of your lips. I wasn’t naive enough to believe anything would happen. You were almost fourteen after all.”</p><p>“God, I had no idea.”</p><p>Kara sighs. “Thank goodness. I thought I was obvious. Ever wonder why I was the one to always answer the door just slightly out of breath? Or the phone when you called? I mean I got over you after a while, but I didn’t forget you. You were this bright spot for me after my parents died and my aunt decided to turn over my care to someone else.”</p><p>Lena is stuck on all of this, mind unable to move passed any of it. “I would’ve beat those kids up. They had no business ganging up on you. I— well you were such a sweet kid even if you could be a little pest, and you were having a tough enough time with Alex.” The facts cannot be ignored at this point, lining up like a row of ducks. And something passes between them in that moment— a gentle swell of affection rises up in her, evolving into something soft and intimate, a word she doesn’t quite know how to say. “I tried to do nice things for you like when I brought Alex breakfast, I brought blueberry scones for you too.”</p><p>“And hot chocolate,” Kara adds with a nudge of her shoulder. “I appreciated all of it. You probably won’t ever know how much.”</p><p>But here’s the thing, she thinks she does.</p>
<hr/><p>“Where are we?” Lena asks, eyes scanning their surroundings. Kara pulled off the main road a while back and now she’s pulled into a paved driveway. The SUV slows as they near an electronic gate. For a moment Lena thinks Kara is going to turn around, but the gate does not deter her. She rolls her window down, pressing a few of the keys, and the gate slides open, granting them entrance to the property.</p><p>Kara has still not given her an answer as to their current location. She moves through the gate, which closes behind them. The car glides down the drive, lined with coffee trees, she thinks. The trees are planted closely together, blocking off the view of the rest of the property. Kara stops the car a few minutes later. </p><p>Kara unbuckles herself, opening the door, inhaling sharply, lungs expanding and nostrils filled with the briny scent of the ocean. “It’s my farm,” Kara says with a casual shrug, strutting forward to the thicket of trees, concealing a small cottage. “I hire locals to care for it and there’s a main house that I have plans for in the future after my doctorate.”</p><p>“You own all of this?” Lena gestures to the land surrounding them, surprise clouding her features.</p><p>Kara nods her head, pulling out a set of keys to unlock the cottage. “It’s going to rain soon,” she explains, glancing up at the darkening sky and the unsettled ocean. “It’ll settle in a bit. It rarely rains that long, but it can be dangerous to drive on the highway when it is.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you stay here?” Lena follows Kara inside the cottage. Her eyes roam over the space, taking in every little detail— the bookshelf lined with books, photos, and other trinkets, the handmade throw blanket draped over the sofa— finding it homey and cosy, an escape for Kara when the world is too much.</p><p>Kara shoots her smile, meandering into the kitchen, leaving Lena behind in the sitting room. Lena can hear her puttering around, the clanging of items as Kara does whatever she’s doing. “It’s a bit of a drive to Lahaina from here and I wanted to be close for the wedding. Also my parents sort of demanded it. I think they thought I wouldn’t show up on time to anything.”</p><p>Lena hums in response, inspecting all of the titles on Kara’s shelves, smiling at the variety of genres she finds from poetry to history to love. Kara’s tastes run eclectic much like her music. She pulls out a book, shaking her head a little when she reads the title on the spine, <em>This Is How You Lose the Time War</em>. It’s worn, the pages slightly crinkled. Lena fingers it open, flipping through pages, finding passages underlined in the text. She adds another piece to the puzzle of Kara.</p><p>“<em>In the depths of lonely woods where I wandered in my youth, staring up—and even then you watched me. You have slipped back through my life—“</em></p><p><em>“And I have known you before I knew you</em>,” Kara finishes from memory, puttering back into the living room with steaming mugs of tea. “It’s my favorite book,” she adds, setting the mugs onto the coffee table. -pg. 164</p><p>“What makes it your favorite?” Lena asks, placing the book back on the shelf, moving to the sofa.</p><p>Kara smiles as she heads back to the kitchen, coming back out with a plate of cookies. “Don’t worry,” she laughs when she notices Lena’s hesitation. “I bought these yesterday.” She situates herself onto the opposite end of the sofa, tucking her legs under her in an effort to get comfortable. “I love the premise of the entire book, if I’m being honest. So many people make all of these assumptions and sometimes find themselves forming an opinion about others based on what we’ve heard from people who are also quite biased.”</p><p>Kara snatches a cookie off the plate, nibbling on it, her face thoughtful. “I like that love becomes more valued over winning a longtime war. These two girls haven’t properly met, but through their shared words, they find something greater than their original purposes. They discover themselves in each other and there’s something tragically beautiful about it.”</p><p>Lena mulls over Kara’s words, thinking back to her own experience reading the book. Poetry and the use of figurative language in general was never one of her strong suits in school. She would stare at the words for hours, puzzled by their meaning, and how others easily interpreted the secrets held within a few lines. When she first read it, she had to stop a few times and reread passages, but eventually she muddled her way through the book. And for the first time the words spoke to her. She understood the hunger Blue talked about, wanted the love Red discovered she was capable of feeling, and craved a love that transcended everything. She wants to feel important to someone, for them to put her first instead of last, to see something and be reminded of her.</p><p>“You’re full of surprises,” Lena says with a small quirk of her lips. “I liked that Red was the one with all the defenses and whether she realised it or not, she was changing through her correspondence with Blue. And then one day, one day it was like a revelation for her. Blue meant more to her than anything. She savoured every letter, let Blue’s words wrap around her, and tried to save her knowing that she couldn’t.”</p><p>“Like I said tragically beautiful, but it didn’t have a horrible ending. It ended on a positive note and it was a surprise for me. I hadn’t expected that turnaround.”</p><p>Neither had Lena. “So what was with the underlined passages?” Lena finally asks, curious for the answer.</p><p>Kara smiles. “Most people think books should be read and that’s it. But I like to interact with the text, underline my favourite passages or make notes in the margins. I want to remember the parts I enjoyed the most- - the parts that held meaning for me. Sometimes when I reread I discover something entirely new and I have to mark it.”</p><p>“So why this place?”</p><p>“Why not?” Kara throws back with a grin. “I used to come here in my off season. I love skating, don’t get me wrong,” she clarifies. “However, sometimes it’s absolutely exhausting by the time the seasons ends and all the aches in my body are screaming at me daily. I live for it, but I like a break.” Lena notes the use of present tense over past, and wonders if Kara has noticed it too. Perhaps Kara is coming around to the idea of making a go of it once more.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Lena thinks she should.</span></p><p>Lena nods. She understands the desire for a break and to leave the world behind. This is her first one in well over a year and what surprises her more is that she’s not thought about work once since she landed— well since she met Kara. Her mind has been occupied with her. There has been room for little else and she feels as if it should bother her more.</p><p>“I knew the person who owned the property before me. I met them during one of my visits and she sort of took me under her wing. She was a huge fan, you see. And I mean obviously ice skating isn’t a thing here. But I digress. She was moving to the mainland to be closer to her children and she was looking to sell, but she didn’t want just anyone to buy the property.”</p><p>“So she picked you?”</p><p>“Sort of. I was here for a month and kept coming by. I love the property and the main house is absolutely beautiful. And I understood her predicament. Developers are constantly trying to poach the land to build more resorts and other touristy things instead of preserving the natural beauty and the landscape. I put in an offer. She sold it to me for a lot less than it’s worth and I tried to pay more, but she said the idea that it was being transferred into the care of someone who appreciates the aina was enough for her.”</p><p>Passion and warmth lace her voice as she continues to speak about the land and the woman who sold it to her. She’s animated and so full of life, and Lena struggles to imagine the dour Kara that barely left her room after her accident. She has some recollections of Alex talking about Kara pushing her away and her concerns about her sister, wondering if she should fly across the country to help her. She doesn’t remember every conversation, but she knows how much Alex loves her sister and worries about her well-being. Some part of her expects to feel guilt for going around behind Alex’s back, but she can’t manage to conjure any. She refuses to associate guilt or shame with what’s happening with Kara. They’re not doing anything wrong and they’re adults, welcome to spend time with whoever they like.</p><p>“I get wanting to have a space away from it all,” Lena admits, hands encircling her mug, sighing as the heat seeps into her skin. “I have a few homes myself. I have one just outside of Metropolis that I escape to on the weekends when the city is just too loud.” She spent a healthy amount of time in Metropolis as a child. Her parents constantly flew back and forth to manage their company headquarters and summers were usually spent on the east. She idealized the city, idolizing all the worst aspects when she was younger.</p><p>She wanted to be a part of it, to live amongst millions and feel the flow of life in the city, hear its’ heart beat. But what she didn’t know was how draining it was with the constant traffic and the lack of space to spread. Her last name makes her a high profile person of interest and she lost any privacy she once had after taking over the reins from her brother.</p><p>Her little suburban home with the blue shutters provides a haven for her. There’s nothing but long stretches of silence with the occasional ringing of a bell on a bicycle or the chiming of laughter from the neighborhood children as opposed to the sounds of traveling cars at all hours or the constant stares of people who think they know her. She gets to live in anonymity without expectation.</p><p>“At first I didn’t think much about it until I started thinking of it as home. My apartment is nice, but it’s become a place I just sleep. It stopped feeling like my home when I no longer had time do anything there except sleep. There’s usually press camped outside the building, waiting in anticipation, hoping to catch me in the act of something salacious.” Lex’s antics had done their damage to their family name and everyone was waiting for her to turn out just like him. They wanted their story, uncaring as to whether it was the truth or not.</p><p>Kara smiles sadly, reaching out to give Lena’s hand a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Why?” Lena laughs. “It’s not your fault that despite his intelligence, my brother is a massive idiot. Besides I think there are some positives that have come out of it.”</p><p>“Really?” Kara is skeptical, not that Lena blames her. It was difficult in the beginning to find anything salvageable in the disaster her brother created.</p><p>“Yeah,” she replies. “I know on the outside it seems as if my brother altered the entire course of my career. And while he did do that, I have to admit that it isn’t that bad. I never thought I was cut out for CEO and left it to my brother. But…”</p><p>“But?” Kara prompts when Lena trails off wistfully.</p><p>“Have you ever felt that you had a greater purpose?” Lena scoffs with a shake of her head. “I forgot who I was talking to. Well I loved working in the lab, but part of me always felt as if I could be doing more. I was considering branching off on my own when the scandal first hit the news circuits. I hated admitting that I didn’t find my work satisfying enough.”</p><p>“That happens sometimes. I can sort of relate with this last year. Even though skating isn’t saving the world or anything close to that, without it I feel lost. There’s this hollowness in my chest. There are moments where I feel empty and like I’m drifting with nothing to tether me. I love physics, but my love of it is also an extension of my love for ice skating.”</p><p>Kara’s words resonate with her and she feels as if they’re vibrating on the same frequency. How is it that this remarkable person came into her life at the right moment? No one else seemed to understand what she meant, and some people told her she was being selfish for wanting more than she had. Others claimed she schemed to steal the company from right out under her brother, despite evidence to the contrary.</p><p>“I never wanted the company this way.”</p><p>Kara smiles sadly, her hand warm and comforting as she holds Lena’s. “I know.”</p><p>“But I’m working within the parameters that were established for me, and I love it. It’s a lot of paperwork and my time as an engineer and in the lab is limited. Yet it’s my designs that have started to make a difference and my employees that are happy working for and beside me. We’ve seen an increase in our stocks and profits have tripled.”</p><p>“That’s great Lena! You deserve it. Alex tells me all the time how hard you work and your parents are so incredibly proud of you. I swear they would talk about you nonstop.”</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“For inviting me along today and being you. I’ve closed myself off to people without realizing it. You’ve made me realize that I have to make more of an effort to engage with the world and to sometimes release control.”</p><p>Kara tilts her head with that little forehead crinkle of hers right there. “Trust me, it’s been great having you around. It’s always more fun when there’s someone along for the ride with you. I’ve never gotten to share any of this with anyone, so…” Kara bites her lip, dropping her head to peek out through her lashes. “I’m really glad it was with <em>you</em>.”</p><p>And so is Lena. She’s a little choked with emotion, eyes swimming with tears as she bobs her head a little. “Me too.”</p><p>“Do you want to watch a movie?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lena agrees, needing a bit of a distraction. Everything’s a little heavier. She’s a little off balanced as she’s slowly coming to terms with something she didn’t know she wanted or needed until she met Kara.</p>
<hr/><p>Lena’s gaze flickers in Kara’s direction as she silently observes the other woman, while the movie plays onscreen. Kara watches, fully invested in the plot, mouthing along to the lines a second before they’re delivered. Her eyes never leave the screen, providing Lena the opportunity to stare unabashedly at her.</p><p>Her thick waves are still a little damp from their time in the water as they curl around her shoulders. Her sun kissed skin glows softly in the pale light filtering through the window. The blueness of her eyes reminds her of lapis lazuli, the color appearing almost purple in the lighting. Her eyes rake over the strong curve of her jaw, the sweet pucker of her pretty lips, the tiny clusters of freckles adorning her nose and under her eyes— finding she wants to trace over them with her lips, to feel the softness of Kara’s skin. There’s a desire building in her, one that’s remained silent for too long— the secret desire to love someone else and be loved in return.</p><p>Kara sweeps loose strands out of her face, huffing a little when some of them flutter back into place seconds later. Lena giggle finding Kara absolutely adorable.</p><p>Lena turns her head, gasping when she sees Kara staring back at her, flushing hotly at being caught. She was hoping her staring would continue to go unnoticed.</p><p>“What?” She asks, forehead crinkling.</p><p>“You’re very cute, did you know?”</p><p>“Oh I did,” Kara assures her with a flash of her teeth. “I’m funny, adorable, smart…” She lists off her attributes, ticking each one off on her fingers.</p><p>Lena rolls her eyes. “I don’t remember texting that to you.”</p><p>Kara taps her chin. “Hmm… are you sure? I think you might be getting confused in your old age.”</p><p>Lena rears back, hand over her heart, glaring at the grinning blonde. “You take that back Kara Danvers!”</p><p>“Or what?”</p><p>“Or- or- I’ll <em>punish</em> you.” Something dangerous sparks in Kara’s eyes, a darker blue creeps in at the edges, the lighter shade fading as she scoots closer to Lena.</p><p>“Promise?” She leans forward, invading Lena’s personal space, the air between them crackles— tension so thick a blade couldn’t pass through.</p><p>Lena bites her lip.</p><p>Her eyes track Kara’s hand as she reaches out to remove the abused appendage, her touch lingering. Lena darts out her tongue, coaxing the finger into her mouth, her wet warmth surrounding it. Her smoky gaze is focused on Kara, almost challengingly. Lena has always loved to play with fire and flirting with Kara feels like that. She’s not afraid of getting burned.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Kara’s fire symbolises a new beginning, the scorched Earth of the past is ready to heal.</span></p><p>“Lena,” Kara warns in that honeyed tone, voice velvety and enticing. If it is her intention to stop things, she’s failed. But then she groans, eyes fluttering shut as Lena sucks harder.</p><p>Like a moth called to the flame, Kara surges forward, closing the distance, landing in Lena’s lap, her lips attacking Lena’s with a vengeance. Lena claims Kara’s mouth, moaning at the feel of lips hot and rough against her own as teeth and tongues collide. There is nothing tentative about the kiss, both their lips firm and full of intention.</p><p>Lena buries her hands in Kara’s silky strands as Kara’s hips roll into hers. Her skin is on fire, burning with the touch of Kara— everywhere. A wild flush spreads across her body from the overwhelming heat of Kara pressed into her, chests brushing as they move frantically together.</p><p>“<em>Le-na</em>,” Kara draws out the syllables of her name with a breathy whisper. Her chest heaves as she sucks in a breath. Lena cants her hips upward, moaning when Kara thrusts down- - their bodies meeting once again.</p><p>“Fuck,” Lena moans, repeating the action again, enjoying the sound of Kara’s breathy whine. Kara’s lips cover her own as she angles her head to deepen the kiss. Her tongue darts out, swiping across the seal of Lena’s lips, flicking and licking to tease her. Lena’s grip tightens in Kara’s hair as she pulls her closer and their bodies rock together. The friction sends electric pulses of desire through her. “Kara, <em>please</em>,” she rasps. Kara’s mouth opens to her and Lena sinks her tongue inside to explore the hidden depths of Kara’s mouth. Their combined groans and gasps drown out the sounds of the movie as they create their own music.</p><p>Lena’s hands travel down, mapping the contours of Kara’s back, imprinting everything to memory. She nips roughly at Kara’s lips and Kara grinds her hips down. Lena is close to losing her fucking mind as Kara pants above her. “Hold on, stop… baby stop.” She pulls away from Kara’s swollen lips. “Stand up for a second.” Kara does as told with a small furrow to her brow. Lena glances up at her, suppressing her giddiness at Kara’s rumpled appearance. She fingers the button of Kara’s shorts, seeking permission from the blonde who gives her assent with a swift bob. Lena unbuttons the offending bottoms that have teased and taunted since Kara came out of that stall. She slides them down Kara’s toned legs, careful with her touch, wanting to torture Kara just a little.</p><p>She was forced to suffer all day. She’s wanted to peel off the tiny, body conforming shorts for hours— eyes constantly glued to Kara’s ass. She tried to focus her attention elsewhere, but they hugged her so perfectly and Lena couldn’t help herself. “I’ve wanted to take these off all day,” she murmurs, voice like silk. She tosses the shorts across the room.</p><p>Lena stares hungrily at Kara, eyes raking over her form, all her thoughts visible on her face. Her body is wound tight as she considers her next move, what she wants from Kara next. She lifts her arms, reaching out to Kara, pulling her closer by the back of her quivering thighs. There’s so much skin available for her touching. Kara’s crop top does little to cover her up and the taut muscles of her abdomen are on display.</p><p>Lena reaches out, trailing her fingers lightly over Kara’s stomach. The desire to hold Kara’s hips while she comes reaches an apex. She pulls Kara down to her level, helping her settle with her legs bracketing one of Lena’s. She’s been teetering close to the edge all day with all of the teasing and flirting, and now she wants to teach Kara a lesson. She’s going to make her cum. She’s going to make scream her name and watch as she loses all sense.</p><p>Kara rises, wrapping her arms around Lena’s neck, Lena’s lips at her cleavage. Lena kisses the tantalizing skin, nipping playfully.</p><p>“I want you to ride me,” Lena says, shuddering when she hears Kara whimper. Kara pulls back, still straddling Lena’s thigh and Lena groans.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> “I want to watch you fall apart.”</span></p><p>Kara presses forward, her wet underwear brushes across Lena’s bare skin, and Lena moans wantonly. Her own desire and need for pleasure just as potent as Kara’s. Lena remains stationary as Kara begins to slide across her, silk dragging with her. Her hands are fisted in Kara’s hair as she tries to control herself, straining to keep still.</p><p>She feels Kara rubbing against her, her knee massaging Lena’s throbbing clit. With each stroke,Lena starts to slip a little more, enjoying nothing more than the sight of Kara moving faster and faster, claiming her pleasure. Her hands move to grip Kara’s ass, shoving her down harder on her thigh, as her own hips lose their rhythm. Her gaze darts to Kara’s glistening knee, soaked inLena as it continues to make regular passes, brushing against her clit, feeling the bundle hardening and spasming.</p><p>The guttural sounds escaping Kara’s throat when she tosses her head back—face pinched in concentration as she slides along Lena’s bare leg— travel directly to Lena’s core, and she finds herself clenching in response. The sight of Kara above her, furiously riding her is one of the most erotic sights she’s ever witnessed.</p><p>The pleasure on her face, her puckered pink lips, her hands gripping Lena’s shoulders to remain balanced is nearly her own undoing. Kara is ruining her for anyone else, and she’s allowing her. She wants that- - wants Kara unequivocally, without reason or sense. There’s something about her that calls to some previously unknown part of Lena and she’s loathe to resist. </p><p>Lena pulses with need, heady desire crawls through her veins, flames licking up her spine as she gives into her own pleasure. Her lips travel the curve of Kara’s jaw, dragging down the slope of her neck as she nips and sucks, testing the pressure of her mouth. Her tongue laves the abused skin, soaking up the taste of sun, sweat, and salt. She moans, her body unbending as she gives and takes. For the first time in a long time, she’s alive.</p><p>She sucks vigorously at the muscle of Kara’s shoulder; her right hand skims up Kara’s thigh and she smirks when she hears the hitch in the blonde’s breathing. She grows emboldened by the sound and pushes passed the barrier of Kara’s panties, pressing her thumb into Kara’s tight bundle of nerves. Kara seems to lose herself at that, jerking upwards- - her body slamming back into Lena’s thigh. Her other hand strokes the soft skin of Kara’s stomach, feeling the tight clenching of her body as pleasure ripples through her.</p><p>“That’s it baby,” Lena rasps when Kara mewls desperately. She feels the coiling of her muscles, the tightening of her belly as she nears her release. It spurs her on. Her thumb circles Kara’s clit, moving quickly across the hard bud. She loves all the pretty noises Kara makes just for her. “Yes, let me hear it.”</p><p>“Lena,” Kara cries out, writhing in Lena’s lap.</p><p>Lena continues to feast on the sinewy lines of her neck, loving how vocal Kara has become as she gets closer to her orgasm. She would give anything to lap at her nectar again, feel the fluttering of her walls as she falls apart. She wants to take her time with Kara- - drive her to the edge of ecstasy and back again- - which is not possible when they have to drive back to the other side of the island.</p><p>But she can watch Kara take pleasure for herself, feel the dampness of her underwear as the satin material rubs against her skin over and over, and she’s close… so <em>close.</em></p><p>“Fuck Lena,” Kara pants, her hips jerking as she loses momentum, growing closer to her own release. “I’m—“</p><p>“Not yet,” Lena orders, capturing Kara’s lips, swallowing all of her <em>little</em> noises as she rockets into Lena. Lena’s lungs burn for oxygen, but she can’t pull away from the fire. She goes willingly towards it. Her nails drag down Kara’s tight abdomen and she <em>feels</em> more than sees Kara shudder against her. Her own body is a live wire and she’s close to snapping, the peak in sight.</p><p>“So good,” Kara whimpers, making a keening sound when Lena latches her lips to her skin, finding the pulse point. They are both near the precipice. Kara’s hand slips passed Lena’s underwear and her fingers press forward, and Lena cries out desperately for more, always for more.</p><p>Lena’s lungs plead for air, but she refuses to indulge in any other need, except her need for Kara. She increases the pressure of her thumb against Kara’s wet sex, jerking herself when Kara returns the favor with a sultry curl of her lips.</p><p>Kara is so needy, wet, and in this moment, hers. Lena can feel how close she is and her propels her to quicken her speed, Kara’s hand falls away. She’s a quivering mass of want, back arching, as her hips move faster. “Almost there,” Lena whispers against slick skin, feeling the tremble of Kara’s thighs from the intensity of her building orgasm.</p><p>And then the world falls away. Idly she hears Kara’s keening wail as she finds release, hands clenching tightly around Lena’s shoulders as her body shudders.</p><p>Lena feels the sharp sting of Kara’s teeth sinking into her neck and Lena pulls her closer, the moisture building as Kara’s knee pushes hard against her in one last pass. Her muscles coil as the ache between her legs reaches a crescendo and she falls off the cliff into bliss. Her toes curl and her back arches as she loses the threads of control with a breathy moan—the combination of Kara coming and the last thrust her undoing. Kara collapses against her, body spent as she gasps for air. Lena holds her close, planting tiny kisses along her shoulders, too out of breath to do much else.</p><p>"I'm going to make you come so hard later," Kara whispers, breath tickling Lena's ear. </p><p>"Not if I make you scream my name first." She has plans for Kara and a certain mirror in her hotel room. </p><p>Lena kisses Kara slowly, tongues tangling languidly, before she pulls away with one last peck.</p><p>Onscreen, the credits roll, and Lena suppresses a pleased smirk. Kara shuffles off her lap, pushing herself up onto shaky legs. Lena reaches out, hands gripping her waist to hold her in place.</p><p>“Thanks,” she smiles shyly. “I’m going to go change. I think these are ruined.” Lena glances down, lips curving when she spots the wet patch. She shrugs. “I’ll be right back and then we can head out.” She peers out the window, nodding to herself. “And if you thought my car playlist was great, wait until you hear my <a href="https://open.spotify.com/user/31ydlnvvi34vmjnqoplikpt3fbmm/playlist/17ZVFUHFCukV9IRbUQawVl?si=hzeQZw6lQfycABgXVaIyPA">80s jams</a>.”</p><p>“Oh my god,” Lena groans with a playful roll of her eyes. “You’re an odd one, but I like you.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lena says.</p><p>“I like you too, best orgasms or not, you’re pretty amazing Lena Luthor.” Kara flashes a pretty smile before fluttering off to her bedroom, leaving Lena to internally reel at the latest turn of events. Kara likes her like actually <em>likes </em>her. She knows it’s not for her money as Kara has paid for everything on their little adventure. Any time Lena tried to pull out her wallet to pay, Kara was already sliding cash or her card, pushing Lena’s outstretched hand down with a gentle reminder that she was the one who issued the invite. She’s different from the other women and Lena appreciates that, appreciates how beautiful she is despite some of the hands she’s been dealt in life.</p><p>Lena stands, fixing her dress, sliding out of her panties, deciding it’s best to go without them. She stuffs them in her bag and combs her fingers through her tangled hair. Her eyes full of stars, but there’s only one that she wants. She never believed something so precious could choose her, stare at her like she’s precious, a rare jewel in a mine of diamonds. She burns like a fever and the only medicine to soothe the ache in her throat is Kara.</p><p>All it took was two days- - two days to change everything irrevocably. Lena realizes she wants Kara beyond a few stolen moments. All those things she wants every time she sees her parents together, she wants with Kara. She’s never connected to someone like this in her entire life. She wants her unlike any other and not for her body, but for the entire package—her brains, her sweet thoughtfulness, her goofiness, her questionable taste in music, her delicate soul with so much to give. It would be easy to fall in love with Kara, like breathing, in fact, she’s certain she’s in the falling stage, if she hasn’t fallen already. She thinks she finally understands the poets and their continued fascination with love. She spent so much time peering into boardrooms and tinkering in labs, searching for love in the loneliest of places, when all the while it came to her in providence.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Find me on <a href="https://sappho-mia.tumblr.com">
    <em>tumblr</em></a>. I post the occasional sneak peek and it's always a good time.</p><p>Also if you have the time, I would love to read your thoughts on the chapter. Comments make my day and this chapter had me about to pull out my hair, unsure if I should post or not.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you ever wondered why this was rated M... well here you go. To my friend N, this one is for you.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I know this is probably considered an invasive question, but I’m curious.”</p><p>Curious is an understatement. She burns with this raging internal desire to know all she can about the elusive Lena Luthor. For so long, Lena was out of reach, less of a person, more of this intimidating figure who once comforted and defended her when there was no one else. And then poof she was gone, vanished from her life, and all she had were stories. Those stories helped form a picture, but there are still gaps—holes only Lena herself can fill. She parsed together a decent image of her, yet there’s nothing to compare to having the person in question finish the puzzle themselves. She’s shifted a few of the pieces to make room for new ones.</p><p>"Go ahead and ask, you'll probably do it anyway." Lena cracks a smile and Kara rolls her eyes. It's hardly her fault she can barely string together her thoughts when Lena is near. </p><p>“Why are you single? Shit… that came out less than tactful. I didn’t mean to well- - no I did mean to ask, but certainly not so bluntly. Though sticking my foot in my mouth seems to be one of my more prominent faults.”</p><p>She chances a glance in Lena’s direction to find that she’s far from angry or irritated. Instead there’s a smile teasing her lips and her eyes are dark, full of mirth. “Do you always talk so much?”</p><p>“No,” she says, eyes flashing guiltily. “Okay fine yes but I totally can’t help it. I try talking and then words just spill from my mouth without my permission.”</p><p>Her lack of filter has definitely caused her to get into a few snafus in the past. The only time she seems even vaguely composed is during formal interviews, otherwise she seems to say what pops into her head when she’s nervous. With Lena, the feeling is worse and her internal filter is practically nonexistent. Those little butterflies flutter wildly in her stomach, coming alive as soon as Lena so much as looks in her direction. It’s the same floaty feeling she gets every time she’s on the ice.</p><p>She feels strange whenever she sees those viridescent eyes, illuminated by the light of the sun. Lena brought the canvas to life, the freshly brushed colors streaked across the sky, meshing together to create a brilliant work of art with Lena at the center. The open window whips her hair about and there’s something soft and beautiful watching Lena like this.</p><p>Kara naively believed she could spend the day with Lena without the old flutters coming back and the rapid thrumming of her heart when Lena delicately touches her wrist to capture her attention. It terrifies her… yet she willingly welcomes all of it. She craves this feeling. This feeling that she belongs to someone- - not in a property sort of way- - and it’s reciprocal, or at least she thinks it is. Lena keeps her thoughts close.</p><p>For over a year she shut out the world including her family, equated love with inevitable heartbreak and rejection, kept her heart a frozen tundra to ward off even the bravest of souls. The chilliness emanating off of her was enough to lower any room by a few degrees. And then Lena sat next to her at a bar, didn’t know her full sad story, and everything clicked into place. They picked up a rhythm, followed the beat as they crashed into the elevator, created their own tempo as their bodies sped towards a crescendo, the final cadences of the Prelude bringing about their first rest- -their bodies seeking a reprieve before the dynamics changed and they continued to discover the different chords they could make together. Kara understands the language of movement and music, the rests, the rise and falls of notes, the subtlety of fingers brushing. She knows this. Words and her share a different relationship, one that leaves room for miscommunication and leads more often than not to her own humiliation.</p><p>Hearing the wrong name fall across Lena’s lips left the smallest of nicks on her heart. And then hours later as she sat across from her outside a café, discovering facets of the woman with a face as delicate as china, strutting with confidence oozing from her pores, and tenderness in her eyes as she looked only at Kara, sealed it shut. Though the little voice in her head whispered, begged and pleaded for her to stay away, to go anywhere else, she ignored it for the first time in months.</p><p>Kara shoved it away, surprised by the resounding silence in her mind when it ceased and how clear everything seemed after over a year of murkiness.</p><p>“I guess,” Lena sighs as she runs her tongue across her lips, head tilted towards the open window. Her hair continues to fly around and she is incandescent in the hazy glow of the setting sun. It’s really unfair in Kara’s opinion how pretty she is. “I never really found anyone. Andrea was easy. I had known her from my boarding school days and we were in similar circles in Metropolis. It sort of just made sense. We fell into a relationship and it all felt very natural. I couldn’t have been more surprised when it turned out she had betrayed my confidence.”</p><p>“But I still don’t understand why you don’t date or anything. You used to be featured in all of the trashy tabloids and now you’re hardly seen outside of the office.”</p><p>“I didn’t want to put myself back out there. For a while I wasn’t really over it. Attending the same events as her made me nervous because as soon as she walked into the room, my eyes were drawn to her. I had to stop myself from asking for a dance and from falling back into old habits. That’s what she was. She was a habit and I struggled for a long time to kick her.”</p><p>“Did you love her?”</p><p>“I did love her.”</p><p>“<em>Oh</em>.”</p><p>“The thing is with distance and some clarity, I realized I stopped being in love with her long before I called it off. I was planning to ask her to marry me, but the truth is I’m relieved I never did. Something kept me from taking that step.”</p><p>Kara keeps her eyes on the road, though she wants to do nothing except look at Lena. She thinks she understands exactly what she means about habits. Lena is Kara’s habit, except she doesn’t want to quit. Everything seems to come back to her. After all of her crushes eventually fizzled, she came back to Lena. She would read up on her latest achievements, scour the internet for pictures, mesmerized by this woman who certainly seemed larger than life.</p><p>She spent years composing poems, searching the dictionary and thesaurus for all of the synonyms for green, thinking of all the items she could compare to Lena’s green eyes. She thought about the shifting colors based on lighting, her mood, her clothes, etc.</p><p>It was embarrassing and she hated how it became a pattern. As soon as Alex dropped Lena’s name in conversation, Kara reverted back to that girl with a crush. Her heart blossomed like a flower in spring, opening and unfolding to let the light in, ready to expose itself to the whole world. Eventually she drew the line, tucked Lena into a little capsule and buried it. Sometimes she sat there wondering if she should have asked Alex for a re-introduction, convinced that maybe they needed a restart where they were finally on equal ground.</p><p>“She sent a lot of apology texts and called every hour, begging me to forgive her.” Lena presses her lip into a thin line. Her eyes are closed, but Kara suspects they are that green that reminds her of nature and vitality, shaded in the palest of greens. “I changed my number and eventually she moved onto someone new. It was hard at first seeing her with him. I felt we left things unfinished or maybe a better way to phrase it is that there was so much left unspoken at the end.”</p><p>“Did you ever get that talk?”</p><p>Lena is a silent for a moment. Kara taps her fingers in tune with the music, patiently awaiting her response. She won’t push Lena to reveal what she doesn’t want to voice. Lena listened to her and knew when to scale back her questions. “We did. Some painful truths were exchanged and we closed that chapter. I think I really needed that closure to move on. For so long, it was this dark cloud hanging over my head. The things she said online about me weren’t exactly untrue and she did apologize for airing our private business.”</p><p>“Alex was fairly heated. She was visiting around the time she posted them and Alex was ready to go on the defense for you. I had to remind her that she could potentially cause more issues for you if she outright attacked Andrea.”</p><p>“Thank you for that.” And Kara has to look even for a single glance. There’s something about her tone and the way her mouth moves around the words thank you. The lines of her face are less defined, almost blurry in the peachy glow. Her lips are a little glossy as if she’s run her tongue across them multiple times. “I wondered why I wasn’t receiving a trillion notifications about Alex losing her shit online.”</p><p>Kara preens. “It was nothing. I know my sister and how protective she is about the people she loves. She’s gone after internet trolls on my behalf in the past and I didn’t want her to do something she might regret later. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but she tends to overreact and do things without thinking about the consequences.”</p><p>“Remember your sister and I were responsible for the great kindergarten revolution?”</p><p>Kara bites her lip to hold in her snort. It’s a story as old as any in their family that gets retold at every family gathering when someone wants to comment on how grown up Alex is. “Yeah my mom loves that one. It was pretty bold of you guys.”</p><p>“We were little rebels.”</p><p>“You were shit stirrers causing your poor teacher all that trouble.”</p><p>Lena gasps with a hand over her heart. “How dare you? We were fighting to liberate ourselves from having to take a nap and the tyranny of the system. We were fighting for all kindergarten kind.”</p><p>She tries, she really does to keep in her laughter, but Lena’s serious face is her undoing. Peals of laughter erupt from her and she can’t look at Lena. If she does, she’ll never stop. This is one of those things she could never learn from the internet searches she never performed. Lena is funny and dramatic, a weaver of words strong enough to penetrate all of the walls Kara spent years building. She tucked herself into her fortress, staring out across the landscape, proud of her reinforced stone walls for protecting her from the hurt in the world.</p><p>Now she has to scale back. Open up new paths and trails, clear the debris from past battles still littering the barren ground, devoid of all signs of life. She’s ready for new life to bloom and grow and to let someone new walk the fields with her. She hates to admit her sister may have had a point.</p><p>“I like you.”</p><p>“You do?”</p><p>“Yeah, I thought that- - well I don’t really know what I was thinking when I invited you except I wanted to spend more time with you. You’re not at all what you make yourself out to be and I like that about you.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“I hang onto your every word.” Kara’s eyes widen in horror.</p><p>“A girl could get used to that.”</p><p>“Oh my god, did I just admit that out loud?” Kara decides if she does continue to spend time with Lena outside of this isolated weekend, she needs to work on refining her filter. This is getting out of hand. “You’re someone incredible. Even if we only come away from this weekend as friends, I’m glad to have met you again.”</p><p>“I feel the same, I really do,” Lena murmurs. She covers Kara’s hand resting on the gear shift with her own. “You’ve given me something back. Something I thought I lost.”</p><p>Kara furrows her brow. “What?”</p><p>“The ability to move forward and trust that it’s not the end of the world. I- - the truth is that something never seemed right with Andrea. I certainly cared about her, loved her even, but I was filled with dread whenever I let myself think about bringing out the ring I bought. So much of my feelings for her were tied up in the people we had been in boarding school. It was nice to reconnect with her. The thing is you can’t force two pieces to fit if they don’t belong. We were all wrong for each other. She’s finally found someone who compliments her and who she’s okay giving away those pieces of herself she never gave me.”</p><p>It’s revealing. Kara realises Lena is being vulnerable and it’s refreshing. She’s been alone for a year, left to stew in her own by choice. It was easier to be alone. There was something about being lonely that made her feel like herself again. And as awful as it sounds, she needed that. Giving up on her dreams and goals, shifting her life into academia, she discovered different facets of herself, previously unexplored. While not as fulfilling as skating, it satisfied her parched soul, quenching a thirst and easing the hunger aches.</p><p>And the odd thing about being lonely is that she wasn’t truly alone. She had herself. She was there. It was overwhelming at first and then she adapted. She’s learned to roll with the punches, not to get too stuck in her head.</p><p>“I know Sam and Alex will never like her, but she’s not the worst person. I played my own role in the destruction of my relationship. I could’ve tried to limit my work day and spend time with her, I didn’t. They want to defend me when I’m as responsible as she is.”</p><p>“Relationships are complicated. It’s rarely one person at fault,” Kara is quick to add, “though that can happen.”</p><p>Lena looks away, focused on the world speeding past them. “I didn’t want to be alone. But I was. I pushed people away and ignored their attempts to reach out. My mom says sometimes I have a tendency to not trust I deserve something good.”</p><p>Kara shifts in her seat. “Do you agree with her?”</p><p>“She’s made some valid points. I wouldn’t say she’s entirely accurate, but she’s not wholly wrong either.”</p><p>Kara bumps her shoulder withLena’s. She knows about mother’s who see their children better than they see themselves. “I think when the right person comes along… it won’t be perfect or anything. Things might not immediately fall into place like some storybook romance, but I think you’ll realise they’re someone who you want to fight for and want fighting for you.”</p><p>“You think so?”</p><p>“Yeah, I do.”</p><p>A comfortable silence stretches between them. It’s unusual for her not to fill the void with sound. Yet she’s content to just be there.</p><p>“Since you’ve asked me a question, can I ask you one?”</p><p>“I don’t know, can you?”</p><p>“Okay smartass,” Lena laughs, flicking Kara’s leg. Kara holds her breath in anticipation, foreseeing a personal question. “What’s your favourite movie?”</p><p>Kara cranes her head for a second to stare at Lena, her brows tightly knit together. <em>Huh.</em></p><p>“Not what you were expecting?”</p><p>“No it really wasn’t.”</p><p>“I think you’ve shared enough personal stuff for today. So I thought why not keep it light and fun?” She shrugs with a playful quirk of her lips.</p><p>“Well okay,” Kara says. “But you can’t laugh.”</p><p>“This should be good.”</p><p>“It’s <em>Scott Pilgrim vs. The World,</em>” she replies. “I was like twelve and let me tell you it was an awakening of sorts.”</p><p>She senses more than sees Lena’s shock and intrigue. “Do tell. You can’t just leave a girl hanging like that.”</p><p>Kara rolls her eyes. “If I must,” she laughs. “I hadn’t really noticed either sex at that point if I’m being honest. I was busy and had my sights set to the future and gold. But god, sitting in that theater with Brie Larson singing and dancing, the blonde wig, and just the overall sensuality of that moment, things clicked into place. It was as if I had found the key to the door I didn’t know was there. She was something else. And I felt something change inside of me after that day.”</p><p>She’s uncertain if Lena understood what she meant. Her sister had recently come out by that point, but Kara hadn’t felt an inclination one way or the other until she saw the movie. It was as if a whole new world was open for her to explore. There was this tingle and her whole body reacted. Her eyes never left the screen. When the movie was released on dvd, she replayed that scenes more times than she would care to admit.</p><p>She wouldn’t generally categorise herself as anything, not really a fan of labels. Though she does tend to prefer those of the female persuasion and has only dated women.</p><p>“That’s how I felt watching <em>The Mummy</em>. Rachel Weisz was my childhood crush and watching her in that movie led to a lifelong obsession. I’m not like a stalker fan or anything like that, but I do love her work. I didn’t really understand then what it all meant. I just knew that she was really pretty. She was self aware and intelligent, but she wasn’t perfect either. And I began to notice after that while many of my friends were crushing on boys, I wasn’t. I thought they were gross. They would dream about kissing their first boy and I would dream about kissing girls. I never said that because I wasn’t ready to convey any of that. I hadn’t told my parents, though they weren’t terribly surprised when I eventually came out to them.”</p><p>“My parents were supportive. But by the time I even showed interest in someone, Alex had been out for several years. I was more casual in my approach and mentioned I was dating my training mate.” They didn't make a big deal or anything. They asked all the pertinent stuff related to her girlfriend-- never once questioning how long she'd known, why she hadn't said anything sooner. None of that mattered to them. All they cared about was if she was happy. </p><p>"My parents noticed I talked more about girls than I ever did about boys. My mom kept giving me these looks around the time I was thirteen, and at first I thought she was upset or something."</p><p>"Was she?" Kara asks. </p><p>"No, she was actually helping me to try and find a girlfriend." Kara snorts, muffling her giggles with her left hand. It's all so very <em>Lillian</em>. She had done the exact same thing to her. "Okay, well that's just rude."</p><p>"No, no." Kara waves her hand. "I'm not laughing at you. It's actually that Lillian used to the same thing whenever we went out together. She would notice me staring at girls and encourage me to go over and talk. One time she caused me to trip, making this whole scene, and then somehow disappeared when the girl came over to help."</p><p>“My mom is relentless. It's never been about my attraction women. That she doesn't care about. As she says herself, she's down with the kids." Kara and Lena exchange mirthful looks, cackling. They've both been subjected to the horror that is Lillian on a mission. "She keeps trying to set me up. She's under the notion I'm lonely," Lena explains.</p><p>“Are you?” It’s not meant to be unkind. She suspects much like herself, Lena prefers to keep her own company, sometimes feeling out of place in a group. “I know my mom thinks I am. Alex tried to tell me the best way to get over someone was to get under someone else. Not sure when she would’ve done something like that since she and Sam have been together for forever.”</p><p>Lena sighs. “I think it’s something stupid Sara and I used to say in college. Neither of us were about relationships. We were about fun. And there was a brief time when Sam and Alex broke up. It was for three months or something like that.”</p><p>“Wait… they broke up? When?” </p><p>“I think it was her junior year. It made things somewhat awkward in our friend group for a time.”</p><p>“B-b-but they’re Sam and Alex?” While Kara would never use the word perfect to describe anything, her sister and Sam had the type of relationship she desired. They were honest, empathetic, frequently compromised, and there was an overflow of love between them. So the idea that they broke up and she was in the dark seems impossible to her. “She never told me,” Kara murmurs, a faint note of melancholy seeping into her voice.</p><p>“They didn’t really tell anyone. I think they were holding out hope that they could patch things up between them.” Lena scrubs a hand down her face. “We were idiots back then afraid of commitment and we took her out a few times. That’s how she and Sara hooked up in the first place.”</p><p>Kara grimaces. Her circumstances were similar to her sister’s, making it all the worse that they’ve slept with the same woman. “That’s terrible advice.”</p><p>“We were twenty and idiots. My IQ may have gained me a spot in MENSA, but it never meant I knew how to deal with emotional stuff.”</p><p>And Kara gets it. Emotions are complicated and terrifying, sometimes easier to ignore instead of taking care of them. She’s run away from her own in the past. “I get it. I feel terrible she never said anything. It would been around the time of my second Winter Olympics and she was always good about our parents hovering over me. She said I took a lot of the heat off of her. I just—” Kara sighs, slowing her speed as they near the city limits. “We had a fight once and she accused me of stealing all the spotlight. She apologised later for it. I can’t help but think it was the first time she was truly honest about her feelings.”</p><p>“Hey,” Lena cuts in, voice soft and empathetic. “Alex loves you. You’re always going to be one of the most important people in her life. I was jealous of you for a while. After I went to boarding school, she started talking about you all the time and the cool places you guys have travelled. How awesome you were and how cool it was to have a sister. I’m sure you’ve felt jealous of her a time or two or have thought some unkind things. People say a lot of things. Yes some of what we say holds a grain of truth, much of what we reveal are things we would never want to.”</p><p>She nods, her throat thick with emotion. She tries to smile. “Okay wow, that got really heavy, which was not your intent.”</p><p>“No but that’s life. Always unexpected.”</p><p>“What’s your favourite movie?”</p><p>“It changes. It cycles between a few different movies. When I’m in the mood for something cheery and uplifting, I go for Singin’ In the Rain. It’s one of my absolute favs.”</p><p>“And at other times?”</p><p>“Well when I’m feeling I guess radical, I watch V for Vendetta. That was an eye opener for me and definitely changed how I viewed the political system. When I need action or adventure, I usually go for The Empire Strikes Back.”</p><p>“It is the superior one in the series.”</p><p>“If I’m in need of a little reassurance and some romance, I go for Bridget Jones Diary. I relate to her constant search for validation, trying to find love in all the wrong places, and finally accepting the love that was there for her all along. Besides who doesn’t love a good rom-com where the guy you think you should root for, turns out to be the guy you really shouldn’t.”</p><p>“You can usually find some semblance of reality reflected in movies. And the important stuff can be found if you look for it.”</p><p>“I think a person’s favourite films definitely reveal a lot about them.”</p><p>“What’s your favourite book?”</p><p>“Ah, ah.” Lena wags her finger with a sad shake of her head. “It’s my turn to ask.”</p><p>Kara pouts, further pushing out her bottom lip to no avail. Lena refuses to cave. “Oh fine, you win.”</p><p>“I knew I would. So what’s your favourite genre or book?”</p><p>“I tend to prefer fantasy over anything. I know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea. For me, it’s nice to escape reality and go to a world so different from ours. It’s like leaving your house without leaving it. I don’t know that I have one that I love above the others. But I have been reading <em>Last Song Before Night</em>. It’s part of a series.”</p><p>“Interesting,” she murmurs with a thoughtful tap to her chin. “Mine is likely Anna Karenina. It took me a while to complete that. But it was worth the read. Often the books with the best takes on a time period and a specific society are the ones written by contemporaries. They’re the ones experiencing the intricacies, the failures, and the pressures. I go back to that one frequently.”</p><p>“Can’t say I’m much a fan of classics if we’re being honest.”</p><p>Lena chuckles. It’s rich, resonating in her chest. “Not surprising.”</p><p>“Rude!!!” She cries out indignantly, punching Lena’s shoulder.</p><p>“But so very true.”</p><p>“I’ve always hated the writing style in a lot of books, particularly those in the nineteenth century. It’s headache inducing. And in my free time, I don’t want to struggle reading.”</p><p>“I’ll forgive you this one grievance.” Lena puts on a bit of a show, with a stuffy countenance and a dramatic flair. </p><p>“That’s all I ask.”</p><p>“Are you enjoying it?”</p><p>“What?” </p><p>“The book you’re reading?”</p><p>“Oh right,” Kara exclaims having forgotten about their actual conversation. “Yeah it’s fascinating. It’s high fantasy and really takes the reader away to another world. At the heart of everything is music and poetry, and there’s something absolutely beautiful about that. The author’s writing style has such a lyrical element that elevates the book as well. The main character Lin, eschews everything to do with her family and is trying to make her own way. It’s something I appreciate. I think she has a lot of qualities you’d appreciate.”</p><p>“I’ll have to add it to my list,” Lena says. “I’ve recently been reading <em>Breasts and Eggs</em>. It’s actually a Japanese novel that’s been translated. It’s about these three women and explores familiar themes like growing old without anyone, being childless, our own identities. There’s also family dynamics at play, which most people would probably relate to. I haven’t finished it just yet, but it’s moving. And has really forced me to think about my own place in the world, the status of everything in my life, and how I want to proceed in the future.”</p><p>There’s something deeper in the meaning of her words. Her eyes are shrewd and cautious. Kara wonders if the words are meant for her or solely for Lena herself. Some of what she’s said are things she’s recently started thinking about as the wedding approached. She no longer wants to be alone. It’s the lesson she’s come away with for the day. Having someone to share things with is by far more satisfying than experiencing everything by herself. She’s never taken anyone to her Maui home, not even her sister.</p><p>She’s not entirely surprised she’s feeling like this. She thinks she should. But she’s always been the sort of person who enjoyed the company of others.</p><p>“I guess I’ll have to add that one to mine.” Kara smiles as she pulls the car into the lot. She's sad their day is over and they'll have to go back to pretending for Alex's sake. She isn't ready to share any of this with her sister, though she's keenly aware Sam knows just about everything that's transpired between them if her text is any indication. </p><p>
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    <strong>Sam 4:50PM</strong>
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    <strong>Ran interference with Alex for you. ;)</strong>
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  <span class="Apple-converted-space">Instead of mortification or shame, she's pleased. If Sam is okay with it, she hopes her sister will share the sentiment. She's heard about all the dumb rules Alex and Lena created in their youth and how sacred they are. However, it's hardly fair to hold something created a long time ago-- when Kara and Alex weren't sisters--as law.</span>
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  <span class="Apple-converted-space">They keep their distance as they enter the hotel, minding each other's personal space, and remaining conscious of any potential other wedding guests lurking. Their hands meet when they both go to push the button, blushing in synchronicity when they pull their hands away. </span>
</p><p>They exchange lingering glances as their fingertips touch briefly in the elevator before someone steps inside with them. Kara inches away from Lena, shyly glancing at her through the thick of her lashes before ducking her head when she notices.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> It's all so middle school and full of innocence and she craves it.</span></p>
<hr/><p>Kara rushes through getting ready, throwing on a light pink crop top with a white skater skirt and sliding her feet into a pair of pink sandals. She leaves her hair down, pinning the front pieces back as she fluffs the waves. She flicks a few layers of mascara on her lashes, humming with satisfaction when she appraises her appearance. It’s as good as she’s going to get with the time constraint.</p><p>Due to their late arrival back at the hotel, they had to quickly rush to their rooms to prepare if they wanted to catch the last shuttle to the luau.</p><p>Kara runs her tooth brush over her teeth, trying to get rid of some of the plaque and freshen her breath from all the treats she’s consumed. She bares herself teeth, running her tongue over the smooth surface with a tiny nod. “Okay Kara, you’ve got this,” she coaches her reflection. She has to remember to keep her hands to herself and her eyes off Lena.</p><p>And she knows from the moment her eyes land on Lena standing in the lobby that her plan is going straight to hell.</p><p>Kara feels the heaviness in the air, hanging over them like the fluffiest of clouds. She refuses to compare what’s brewing between them as a storm even with all the unknowns lurking on the horizon. Rarely has she felt this content in her life and as if things are finally falling into place.</p><p>To prevent her tongue from getting away from her because she’s bound to say something and she can’t risk that. She leans forward and kisses Lena.</p><p>The moment feels cataclysmic, preordained or cosmic— the moment she’s been waiting for all along. Perhaps the reason she could never settle. She thinks perhaps it was all supposed to happen the way it did.</p><p>There’s something intoxicating about when she’s with Lena. Maybe it’s because they kissed, well more than kissed. She can still feel Lena’s thigh as it pressed into her, the taste of her lips, but she also recalls how open Lena has been with her. She trusts her and that’s— a lot. It’s heavy and carries meaning far beyond either of them.</p><p>She presses Lena into the door, mouth eager and clumsy as she kisses down the delicate slope of Lena’s neck. Her teeth scout the contours of her neck and shoulders, paying particular attention to a spot just behind Lena’s ear.</p><p>Her hands have a mind of their own as they hitch under the skirt of Lena’s dress. The dress teased and taunted her all evening. The bodice clings to her top half, pushing her breasts a bit higher, and offering the greatest of views. Kara tried to keep her gaze from lowering <em>too</em> often, but fears she failed in that endeavour. It was too enticing and Kara kept thinking about how good Lena would look out of the dress.</p><p>The shade of white contrasted beautifully with Lena’s own fair skin and dark hair combination. The flames played with her features, highlighting the curve of her cheeks, the sharpness of her jaw, and to Kara, she was ethereal, otherworldly. There was nothing to compare.</p><p>As they sat together, Kara felt the warmth radiating off of her and wanted to soak it all up for herself. A prickle of goosebumps travelled up her arm when she <em>accidentally</em> brushed it with Lena’s. She had to restrain herself from looking at her. Though from the looks their mothers exchanged, she doesn’t think she did the greatest job or maybe it was Lena that failed. Either way, their mothers appeared too giddy— also entirely way too intoxicated— by the time they headed back to the hotel. Her poor dad was responsible for getting the two of them up to their rooms and shushing their raucous laughter when they got too rowdy. Last she saw them, they were heading straight for the bar with her dad hot on their heels. She and Lena were too caught up in their own staring to be much help in wrangling their mothers.</p><p>Which brings her to now.</p><p>She lifts Lena up, smirking when her legs wrap around Kara’s waist. Her hands squeeze Lena’s ass approvingly. Their position is slightly awkward, but then she feels Lena’s hips buck against her when her tongue swirls around her delectable collarbone. She pays special attention to that freckle, sucking harder when Lena rugs on her hair.</p><p>Lena pushes her away, smiling to reassure, and Kara puts her down in understanding. “Not out here.” She holds a finger up while the other hand hovers the key card over the lock. There’s a click and Lena’s shoving open the door. She heads to the bathroom flicking on the light and Kara blinks a few times to adjust to the change. She makes out Lena’s svelte figure moving around, stopping in front of the bed.</p><p>Lena stares wide eyed as Kara stalks closer, her gait more of a saunter. Her eyes spark with desire- - dark as the ocean at night. There’s no hesitance as she comes to a full stop in front of Lena, eyes trailing down to her lips. She licks her own before leaning in closer, mouth a breath away. She flicks her eyes to Lena’s before closing the distance and capturing Lena’s lips in a heated kiss. Her hands slide into Lena’s hair, coiling in her tangled locks as she presses harder. Her tongue teases the seam of her mouth, slipping inside when Lena gasps. She explores the depths of her mouth, running it over the roof of her mouth- - Lena shivers at the sudden contact.</p><p>She kisses her like she’s drowning and Lena is a much needed breath of air. It deep, hard, her movements frantic as she tries to get closer. She doesn’t think she’s ever kissed anyone like this—with so much need.</p><p>Lena grabs a fistful of her hair, roughly yanking as she tugs Kara closer. She finds it titillating and encourages Lena with a bite to her lower lip. She soothes it with her tongue and then she bites again, harder. She runs her tongue over it like a balm. And then her tongue is swarming Lena’s mouth once more. She moans at the taste of pork and alcohol. It invades her own mouth, curling around her tongue.</p><p>She’s never experienced anything so carnal, feels her own and Lena’s hunger in their hurried movements, and something primal stirs inside of her. She didn’t know it existed but she welcomes it all the same.</p><p>Lena closes her lips around Kara’s tongue and Kara growls. It’s guttural and raw, startling both of them with the foreign sound. And Lena must be proud of herself for garnering such an animalisticreaction. Her hands are everywhere and nowhere, scattered along the length of Kara’s body. One hand skims along her abdomen, nails raking over her muscles. Kara feels her chest tighten, the ache in her breasts as Lena continues the motion.</p><p>Lena’s fingers insistently tug at the hem of Kara’s crop top, struggling with the material. Kara breaks the kiss to assist her. Together, they freely pull it from her body. Lena feasts on the sight, eyes zeroing in on Kara’s darkened nipples, and wets her lips in anticipation.</p><p>Kara shifts closer, unable to accept any distance between them. She arches into Lena’s touch as the pads of her fingers lightly touch her breasts, exploring all the skin available. She’s desperate to feel more, to increase the friction. Lena reattaches their lips, her mouth hot and her tongue silky as they lose themselves. Kara sighs into the kiss, seeking release, find no relief with their current position. Though she’s desperate to sooth the ache between her own legs, she wants to take care of Lena.</p><p>She wants the friction, the pleasurable feeling of their bodies rubbing, to rub her fingers over the silk of Lena’s panties. Her mouth waters from the thought.</p><p>Kara steps forward forcing Lena to step back, knees hitting the bed. Kara wraps her arms around her waist as she tugs her closer, tongue loosely tangling with Lena’s. Heat pools in her belly, shooting down to her core and feels the warm lick of the flames slowly travelling up her spine as Kara deepens the kiss. Her lips are soft and firm, pillowing Lena’s in their warm cocoon. She moans into the kiss, mewling when Kara pulls away, her breathing harsh and ragged. She presses her forward to Lena’s, blue meeting green.</p><p>Kara divests her of her dress, gasping at the sight of Lena in her underwear. She kisses her again, hands travelling to Lena’s ass where she sinks her fingers into the flesh. The heat between her legs is scalding, beckoning her to take care of it, but she ignores it. Her attention solely focused on bringing Lena over the edge and back.</p><p>Lena bucks her hips, the primal need to get off swarms her. Kara is able to slide those delectable satin panties down her legs, taking a few liberties as she goes. Her lips leaving a hot trail of kisses in their wake. Lena steps out of her panties. “Good girl,” Kara praises, surprising herself with her words. Within seconds, Lena’s bra is gone and she’s flat on her back, Kara hovering over her.</p><p>She inhaled and smells the fresh arousal that drips between Lena’s legs. She’s the cat that ate the canary, her grin grows, reading Lena’s body language perfectly as it asks for more. And <em>more.</em> It’ll all happen in good time. For now she plans to take her time.</p><p>Kara swirls her tongue around the dusky pink nipple, moaning at the sweet taste of Lena, relishing in all of the tiny sounds escaping the other woman. Her teeth graze the bud as Lena’s hips fly off the mattress. Lena gasps, tossing her head back when Kara sucks harder, encapsulating as much of Lena as she can possibly get. Her tongue flicks an unpredictable path across her sensitive flesh and she can feel the pressure building down below.</p><p>When she’s gained enough control of herself, she meets Kara’s darkened eyes, biting back a moan when she notices the dilated pupils almost swallowing the blue whole. There’s a thin ring of the darkest blue, and she falls into their dangerous depths, drowning in the ocean that is Kara.</p><p>Kara releases the nipple with a loud pop, switching her attentions to the other one as her hand comes up to knead the mound. Lena watches her, unable to focus anywhere else. She feels the pooling of wetness, her thighs slick as they rub together. She tries to increase friction, to do anything as she nears the precipice. It’s there, right there, but still out of her reach. She groans as Kara slows her pace, tongue darting back into her mouth as she slides her mouth off Lena’s breast. She peers at Lena, lips quirking into a knowing smirk. “Ah, ah,” she says, separating Lena’s legs. “Naughty girls don’t get to make themselves come.”She drags the tips of her fingers up and down the inside of Lena’s thigh, fingers making tiny circles, and Lena slowly loses her mind as they inch higher.</p><p>She would love nothing more than to wipe the infuriating smirk off Kara’s face. “Touch me,” she pleads.</p><p>“I am.”</p><p>Lena growls.</p><p>“Is there somewhere specific you want me to touch?” Her lips hover over Lena’s chest. “All you have to do is ask. Come on, be a good girl and ask me. You can do it.” She trails kisses down Lena’s abdomen, lips lingering slightly longer on each one, tongue lightly brushing as goosebumps spread across her flesh. She’s close to exploding without any real contact and that’s certainly new. She’s had many lovers, several quite skilled, but none of them are on this level.</p><p>“Fuck,” she groans as Kara’s fingers skate up her slick thighs. There’s a knowing glint in her midnight blue eyes as they dance over her skin.</p><p>“Do you want me?” She whispers huskily, breath ghosting over Lena’s skin. “All you have to do is say where.” She licks a trail down, stopping where Lena is most wanton and desperate for her touch. “I’ll take care of you,” she promises. Her fingers wiggle and Lena mewls when they hit a particular sensitive spot. She attempts to shift her hips, but Kara halts her movements, fixing Lena with a glare and a light tsk.</p><p>Lena bites her lip. She’s trying not to give Kara the satisfaction of knowing she’s gotten to her, but if her look is any indication, she’s aware of the effect she has on Lena. Her fingers press a little harder- - the increased pressure feels good- - but it’s not enough. She needs more. A lot more.</p><p>“Oh baby, so wet for me. I wonder how you taste.” Kara lifts her hand to her mouth, coated in Lena’s essence, sucking her fingers into her mouth. Kara’s eyes never leave Lena’s as her tongue crawls over her digits, so pink and moist, and Lena tries to forget what it felt like inside of her. “Mhm,” she moans happily. “So sweet like honey.”</p><p>“You’re a sadist.”</p><p>“Only for you baby,” she grins stupidly and Lena hates her.</p><p>“Do you have a comeback for everything?”</p><p>“You’re the one choosing to do things the hard way. All you have to do is tell me what I want to know and then I can relieve you of your ache. Are you throbbing?”</p><p>And she is. Her clit throbs almost painfully so, as Kara’s phantom touch skims over her thatch of curls. “Fuck you,” Lena gasps through clenched teeth.</p><p>“Now, now I do intend to fuck you. i know you’re absolutely soaked.” Kara’s fingers slide lower, lightly brushing over her hard nub. “I won’t until you say it though. Say you want me as much as I want you. Say you were jealous when those women wanted my picture.”</p><p>She was. And she hates it. A curtain of green blocked her vision when the dancers hung over Kara after the luau. They kept holding her arms, squeezing her biceps, gushing about her skating, and Lena wanted to be the only one touching her. She wanted it to be her hands curling around Kara’s biceps, her voice whispering in her ear. Someone had shoved a hot poker down her throat- -thick with envy- - and she watched until she could no longer help herself.</p><p>She stalked over there prepared for a <em>rescue </em>when she caught Kara’s eyes and her wide smile. She excused herself almost immediately, heading right to Lena. Lena barely noticed the looks of disappointment once Kara made to her, a bit breathless and absolutely gorgeous. The fire danced in her golden waves, the flames flickered in her eyes, and the shadows played on her face. Lena almost did something stupid in front everyone. She wanted to kiss her.</p><p>Lena meets Kara’s eyes, her own full of intent. “I was jealous. I wanted you so badly.” She swallows loudly as Kara presses her mouth to Lena’s abdomen, her tongue licks a slow, wet trail. “Fuck, Kara please…” she begs. “Please just fuck me.”</p><p>“Oh thank god,” she breathes, lifting onto her forearms as she shifts her position. She hovers over Lena, carefully sliding her panties down, fingers dragging along the contours of her parted legs.</p><p>Kara lowers her mouth to Lena’s neck, teeth nipping roughly as her long fingers slide through slickness before halting at her entrance. She makes eye contact briefly, seeking permission before plunging inside. Sparks of pain and pleasure flow through Lena as Kara’s hot mouth sucks furiously, tongue laving a warm path.</p><p>Lena’s hips buck hard against Kara’s hand, a loud moan falling from her lips. Her legs fall close until Kara nudges them apart, her hips slotting against Lena’s. Her lips trail across Lena’s jaw, capturing her lips in an insistent, heated kiss that’s all tongue and teeth. Kara’s tongue scrapes against her lower lip until Lena is opening her mouth to her with a loud gasp, tangling her own with Kara’s. She sucks furiously on her tongue as fingers continue to pump into her. Her arousal spikes as Kara changes the angle of her thrusts, thumb moving in tight circles over her clit.</p><p>Lena coils her fingers in Kara’s incredibly soft hair, gripping tighter when she hits a particular deep spot. She’s afraid not to touch the blonde, fearing it to be a dream her mind has concocted. It’s so good, almost <em>too</em> good. Kara seems to feel similarly as she deepens their kiss, mewling sounds escaping her. Their intimately pressed together, skin on skin, Lena able to feel every inch of Kara.</p><p>Kara pulls back breathless, lips a dark pink, swollen, and shiny. Lena spreads her thighs further apart as she feels the tension coil deeper into her. She’s close to unravelling. Her keening sounds spur Kara to increase her pace and she can hear the loudness of Kara’s fingers.</p><p>The pressure continues to build and <em>build</em> and it’s almost too much but it feels so amazing. The white hot ferocity of her impending orgasm is almost enough to undo her. Kara’s passion and her attention to Lena’s likes and dislikes further turn her on, easing some of the ache she feels. Its strange all the things she wants with Kara and the overwhelming feelings she’s experiencing. She wants Kara to hold her afterward, her soft lips to caress her skin, and to stay here as long as possible. It’s when Kara’s own fingers start to jerk that she’s brought back to the moment.</p><p>“That’s it baby,” Kara moans into her mouth. “Be a good girl and come for me.” She’s unable to resist the temptation of the words, feeling the first flutters, the blinding intensity of her orgasm as it crashes into her. She comes with a cry, losing her connection to cognitive thought as she tosses her head back- -she arches up, walls squeezing Kara’s fingers until she’s gasping and crying, coming hard, soaking Kara’s hand. her toes curl, catching on the bed sheets as she falls apart. She trembles with the aftershocks of her own pleasure. Lena quivers, hands shaking, legs barely able to move. The throb has lessened to a dull hum, but it’s still there, not quite sated yet.</p><p>Lena’s the first to break the sound barrier with a whispered, reverent “wow”. It’s the only word that comes to mind, the complete summation of what they just shared. None of her former bed partners were so <em>attentive</em>, picking up on the squeaks and hitched breaths.</p><p>Kara slides her fingers out, wiping her hand on the sheets. Her gaze is tender as she stares at Lena. She tucks Lena’s sweat drenched hair back. Her mouth curves into the softest of smiles. “Hi,” she says, ducking to steal a sweet kiss.</p><p>“Hi yourself,” Lena returns shyly.</p><p>“That was amazing.”</p><p>“I didn’t realise how much I liked someone calling me a good girl.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Kara husks, leaning closer, her face inches from Lena’s. “It’s never been like that for me before either.”

</p>
<p>Both their faces are flushed pink, Lena’s having moved down to cover her chest. Their messy hair hangs around them, eye makeup smudged and they’re beautiful.</p><p>Kara gently slips out of her, careful and tentative. She kisses the back of Lena’s neck before pulling back. She moves away from the bed, heading in the direction of the bathroom. She’s back a few minutes later, climbing into bed with a wash cloth. Gently she cleans the slickness coating Lena’s thighs, the swirling motion of the warm cloth feels nice against her skin. A few tears slip out, sliding down her cheeks as Kara takes care of her with such tenderness. None of her previous lovers have ever done this for her. When she’s done, Kara moves back towards the bathroom before coming back to the bed. </p>

<p>Lena crawls into her arms, sighing contently when she places her ear over Kara’s heart. Neither say anything as they drift off.</p><p>“Lena,” someone whispers what seems like minutes later. She turns into her pillow with a groan, swatting at the nuisance. “Lena,” the voice says again, a touch louder, piercing her sleep bubble. Fingers stroke her face and she knows it’s not a dream.</p><p>She cracks an eye, too tired to open both. “What?”</p><p>The sight that greets her is surprising. It’s Kara. But she’s fully dressed in her clothes from last night, her face sheepish and apologetic. “Sorry for waking you, I just wanted you to know I arranged for a wake up call and I’m leaving. I’ve got to head back to my own room to get ready.”</p><p>“Oh,” she mumbles. “Right.” It’s not that she expected Kara to stay until she woke. At least she would never outright admit such a thing. But after an entire day together, it’s strange not to be attached at the hip. It’s a stark reminder that whatever they’re sharing is fleeting. She can feel the silky threads slipping through her fingers with every passing minute. “Um thank you for telling me Kara.”</p><p>Kara beams.</p><p>Lena furrows her brow as Kara ducks her head, a shy smile replacing the radiant one. “It’s uh- - sorry to make this awkward but well um, you know my name.”</p><p>“I mean we did spend a whole day together.”</p><p>Kara shakes her head. “Not that, it’s just our first morning—“</p><p>“Ahh yeah.” She blundered Kara’s name that first morning, resulting in a head-splitting slamming of her hotel door and an irritable blonde. She scratches at the back of her neck. “I’m sorry about that. I knew when I said it that it wasn’t right. By then it was way too late and I was already embarrassed by the whole falling out of bed thing.” Had that been only two days ago?</p><p>“I may have overreacted a bit.” Kara pinches her fingers together, her face a touch apologetic. “I should get going though if I’m going to get a run in. Go back to sleep.” She leans forward, lips brushing Lena’s forehead. She tells herself she’s not disappointed that it wasn’t somewhere else.</p><p>And then she’s closing her eyes, drifting back to sleep, sated and excited for the events of the day. Two of her best friends are marrying each other and she gets to bear witness to this momentous occasion.</p>
<hr/><p>Kara closes the door with a silent click, mindful of other guests and the time. She sighs, pressing her back to the door—her mind still swept up in the events of last night… and this morning. Nothing was more surprising than waking up with Lena’s head between her thighs, lips dancing over her throbbing mound and it wasn’t long after that when she lost the ability to think or speak. Her whimpers and keens rose in volume and she was embarrassed by how badly she burned for Lena, who she ached for her touch. A few swipes of Lena’s tongue and she was seeing stars.</p><p>“Damn.” She fans herself, feeling the heat creep into her cheeks. Last night was unlike anything she’s ever experienced. It’s beyond any sexual encounter she’s had or likely to have in the future. The truth is, she wants more of it. She wants Lena anyway she can have her. “Holy shit, did that really happen?”</p><p>“Kara?”</p><p>She closes her eyes, shoulders sagging as she turns to face one of the last people she expected and wants to see, only to be met with their fellow cohort. “Aw fuck,” she grumbles.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Find me on <a href="https://sappho-mia.tumblr.com">
    <em>tumblr</em></a>.<br/>Here's the official <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4EAgC0JD46IokybnCkjj36?si=qtBlix12Q0qjWN4eKdlZOA">
    <em>playlist</em></a> for the story, and if you don’t know right now, you’ll figure out from the playlist exactly where I got the title.</p><p>See you all in the New Year!! I hope if you celebrate you've had a good holiday season and happy new year in advance. You’ve all been incredibly supportive and have made this one of my most successful stories. So thank you for being absolutely amazing and I hope you keep reading to see how this all ends.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is a two parter. I split the chapter because of the length, but you won't have to wait long for it. I'll post the second half on Saturday. </p><p>I want to give a massive thanks catargott and haylssunflowerx for editing this chapter for me. </p><p>Now onto the good stuff.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She closes her eyes, sucking in a deep breath before facing the gallows. She pastes a false smile as she approaches, the walk feeling much like a death march. She knows she’s being dramatic, but the point of getting up early was to avoid running into anyone on her walk of shame. </p><p>Kara supposes she prefers these two over a different duo. “Hello,” she greets, smoothing her palms over her skirt. “What are you doing up?”</p><p>The sudden appearance of a devious smile has her stepping back. “Now Kara dear, we could ask you the same.” Green eyes flick to Lena’s door and she squirms, trying not to let her eyes follow. “Where are you headed in such a hurry?” Her brows fold, unable to conceal her curiosity.</p><p>Her own mother stands there with a peculiar expression on her face, eyes crinkling with fondness. </p><p>“Hurry? Who’s in a hurry? I-I was just headed out for a run.”</p><p>“Honey, I don’t recall you ever running in last night’s clothes. You might want to change and clear away your smudged make-up before you leave.” Her mom gestures to her under eyes. “Also sweetheart, I hope you do a good wash before coming to Alex’s later.” </p><p>She cards her fingers through some of the knots and gnarls in Kara’s hair. Kara winces at the slight pull, swatting away her mother’s hand. Her mom tentatively places her hand on her cheek, gently rubbing away some of the black gunk from the previous night. </p><p>“You do seem to be glowing. Did you do anything <em> fun </em> last night?” It’s the emphasis on the word fun that has Kara itching to get away from them. Her cheeks burn with warmth and there’s an annoying prickle of heat on the back of her neck. </p><p>“Okay!” she exclaims brightly. “Wow, this little pow-wow has been great.” <em> Not. </em> “But I really should, uh, get going… preferably somewhere far away,” she mumbles. </p><p>Maybe it’s a trick of the light, but Kara frowns when she notices a slip in their masks. The two mothers are quick to wipe their faces of emotion, hiding it all behind a slight flash in their eyes. She wants to call them on it, but their smiles soften. Her mother drops her hand and Kara misses her touch. </p><p>“Alright, dear, and don’t forget to cover up the marks.”</p><p>“Marks? What marks?” </p><p>Both mothers snicker, linking arms as they pass her. “Mom! Lillian! What marks?” She brushes her fingers along the curve of her neck. The skin is tender as she explores the rough, broken skin. </p><p>“It’s fine. It’s probably not even that bad,” she mutters. “They’re just saying that to wind me up,” she hopes. </p><p>Lena had her distracted all night, tongue swirling around her skin, laving the much-abused flesh. She hardly noticed the sucking or biting for long. But perhaps she should have paid more attention to save herself the headache of trying to figure out how to hide them. </p><p>Arriving back at her room, left in the same harried state as when she quickly readied herself the previous night, she collects some of her clothing and other belongings off the floor and bed, tidying the messy room. And then she’s tying her hair up in a top knot, exchanging her dress for a sports bra and spandex, slipping into her tennis shoes and tightening the laces. Taking a few sips of water to keep her body balanced, she heads down to the lobby, warming her body with some dynamic exercises. </p><p>And then she’s pounding the pavement to release some of the tension coiled tightly in her shoulders. The weekend was turning into something quite unexpected from what she initially thought it would after running into Lena that very first night after no contact for over a decade. Keeping her distance was impossible. She found Lena intoxicating and the breath of fresh air for which she had unknowingly been waiting. </p><p>The act of running is rhythmic, cyclical, allowing her mind to wander. Her legs know what to do and her lungs contract and expand with a four-four count system. The body remembers even when the head is somewhere else. </p><p>Her head is definitively somewhere else- - back in the hotel room with Lena- - and part of her is frightened by how events have unfolded. She thought that after all the years between them, meeting Lena again and getting to see her up close would ruin the image of her in her memories, sort of like meeting an idol in real life. Except that Lena’s just like she remembers. She’s older, wiser, a little chipped at the edges, but there’s something about her that’s wholly Lena. </p><p>She runs until she aches, finally slowing when her body can no longer take the punishing pace she set. Slowing to a jog and eventually stopping to perform some post-running stretching, she allows her body to naturally cool down. Her heart races in her chest and her breaths come out quick and harsh. She waits it out, strolling back to the cafe from two afternoons ago to grab some food and prolong her return. </p><p>Sweat drips down the side of her face and wisps of hair stick to her flushed skin. It is altogether a successful run and perhaps tomorrow she will feel the effects, but today she feels alive, her body thrumming with unbridled energy. </p><p>Artfully dodging everyone upon her arrival back at the hotel, Kara polishes off the rest of her breakfast sandwich, savouring every last morsel, aware that there’s a tight schedule that her sister will want followed to the exact minute. </p><p>In the shower, she takes her time cleaning, scrubbing the smell of booze, jasmine, sweat, and sea from her skin until it’s pink and raw. Thoughts of Lena occasionally invade her mind and she thinks of tonight. Having come stag to the wedding, she had figured she would make her way through a variety of dance partners as the night progressed. It was no real hardship, but now, there’s only one she wants to hold close. Anxiety gnaws at her insides as she contemplates if the reward is worth the risk. Two years ago there would have been no hesitation to pursue such a thing. </p><p><span>In the last two years, she had been cast in the role of the supporting character in the movie of her life, and now she's scared to reclaim agency after taking a long hiatus.</span> Kara had allowed the events of a singular tragedy to derail everything and control her like a TV with a remote. It had required nothing from her to sit back and become passive in her own story, but now she’s come to a crossroads. </p><p>Now, she knows no matter what decision she makes going forward, this is the point of no return; this chapter is ending and it’s time for a new beginning. She has absolutely no idea what it will all look like in the end, but she thinks she’s close to being ready to turn the page to explore what’s next. </p><p>Kara had drowned in the emptiness of her own life, refusing to accept the lifeboats and helping hands sent to save her, and so she had stayed there as the freezing grey waters dragged her down, sinking her into their murky depths. </p><p>Fear had never consumed her like this, pulling and tugging, forcing her underwater until she could barely keep her head up. Her body had been paralysed, unable to do anything except follow the motion of the current. She had been accustomed to confidence, to knowing her path, and to embracing change in whatever form it came. Then again, it had been easy to do so when she had known her future, known who she would be, what she would do, and how she would do it. She had had dreams and goals and desires. She had refused to give up any of them for anyone. </p><p>And then she had. She had given them up for herself. </p><p>Not a day has passed when she hasn’t thought about the freedom the ice offers. The certainty it brings when her blades hit the smooth, glassy surface. She would’ve smiled, watching as her skates etched patterns into the smooth ice as she went through the motions of her routines. They weren't always perfect, nor were they easy. Some days there were bruises blooming in purples, blues, and greens. All of those falls only made her stronger and want to work for it even more. </p><p>The thirst was palpable. She had hungered for success and had done everything she could to get herself there. </p><p>And now, she has to wonder, where did that girl go? The girl who unabashedly took up space, occupied whole rooms and arenas without being plagued by doubt and insecurities. That girl hit the ice and never got back up. </p><p>Left in her place is a swirl of simmering rage, resentment festering in the hollowness of her bones for all that was stolen from her in a single selfish, jealousy-motivated act. Slowly, the anger had started to dissolve, leached out of her like colour on a canvas over centuries. The ache in heart and her own bitterness had lessened and some days she almost felt like herself again and not some twisted, parallel version of who she used to be.</p><p>Wiping the steam misting the mirror, Kara takes a moment to appraise her appearance, startled by her own reflection staring back at her. In the beginning, she had refused to look. She had hated how the incident marred her life and the bandage on her head there as proof for everyone to see what a failure she had become. The flashbacks would come and she would struggle to escape them before they suffocated her. All she had seen before was a broken girl and a trail of crumbled dreams. </p><p>But today, the person looking at her is far from a stranger. It’s her. Her eyes spark with the flame of life and her face no longer holds the sullenness she had clung to just to feel something, anything. So she smiles, gently dragging her brush through damp golden locks. Careful as she moisturises and preps herself for the day. Because for the first time in a long time, she really does care. </p><hr/><p>Two hours later, she lounges across the chaise in one of the bridal suites set up. Sam had spent the night with her mother to keep with tradition and they had yet to have so much as a glimpse at one another since the start of the day.</p><p>Kara snickers each time her sister’s phone dings, lighting up with a text from Sam. Alex’s hands dart out, shaking with nerves when she lifts the phone to her face. Kara reads the hesitance in her face and body language. She has no idea why her sister has all of a sudden done a 180 when she and Sam are a wonderful match. While not perfect on their own, there’s something fitting when they are together. All Kara has to do is look at Sam standing next to her sister and she’s assured of their future together. </p><p>“Oh shut up,” Alex grumbles when she hears Kara laughing. “You’ll see one day for yourself.”</p><p>“Honestly Alex,” Kara drawls, “if she was going to leave, she should’ve done it the moment she met you. I mean have you seen your face? Yikes.” So? She’s teasing her sister, having a spot of fun at her sister’s expense. What's wrong with that? It's the first time she feels lively enough to rag on Alex. The resentment she held against her sister is gone. It wasn't Alex's fault what happened, and she was only concerned for Kara, not gloating that Kara picked wrong. All she had ever done was support her sister. Looking back on events, Kara's judgment was clouded by grief and she lashed out at the people who deserved it the least.</p><p>"At least it can be fixed," she laughs, gesturing to the products laid out. </p><p>But, she feels the penetration of her mother’s sharp glare and decides to lay off… for now.</p><p>Between her mother and sister, she has no clue which one of them is more on edge. She was accosted by her mother the moment she stepped through the door. A stylist quickly approached her, pushed her down onto a stool and immediately went to work on her wet, stringy hair. Her hair was brushed <em>again</em>, some product added before it was all wrapped around rollers.</p><p>Since her make-up will be less elaborate and her hair more simple, she has less work that needs to be done, and she gets to laze around. So, she orders room service, stomach gurgling with hunger, earning her an eye roll from her sister. Kara takes out her Switch, deciding it’s a better use of her time while her cousins and aunts are getting their hair and make-up done. Lena has yet to make her appearance, not that Kara is nervous or anything. </p><p>She has no reason to be. </p><p>Except there’s a growing swell of nerves preparing to roll through her like a tsunami. A frisson of excitement expands, colliding with the tidal wave, and she’s a wreck. She oscillates from one extreme to the other, uncertain of the cause of her worrying. </p><p><em> Lena </em>, the name comes loose, unbidden and as if summoned by her thoughts alone, said woman is suddenly welcomed in by Kara’s mother. She wears a sheepish smile, talking with Eliza, her hands moving wildly like they always do when she talks. And Kara knows she should look away, but she’s completely and wholly stricken. She’s drawn into Lena’s orbit. When her dark head swivels in Kara’s direction, her own eyes lower and she hides her face in her game, absentmindedly picking at her fries. Her appetite wavers when Lena begins her approach, and the nest of butterflies in her stomach flutter uncontrollably. </p><p>“Hey, stranger,” she greets in that polished voice of hers. </p><p>“Hey,” Kara returns weakly. Finally in Lena’s presence, she puts a name to that feeling she’s had since she left Lena in bed. <em> Yearning. </em> The worst kind there is. It sounds juvenile or like some silly rom-com she’s watched with her mom and sister dozens of times. But that’s what’s happening. She wants Lena beyond a single weekend. To wake up wrapped around her, not sure where she starts and Lena ends. To intricately weave their lives together and to have someone look at her with love in their eyes and not resentment or jealousy. None of that is hers and it is not for her to want or have. </p><p>She refuses to delude herself into believing this will last past check-out. So she will enjoy what she has for now, accept what is freely given even if it leaves Lena a little bewildered by her actions. Kara soothes the ache in her heart, assuaging that yawning emptiness that consumes her. </p><p>“What are you doing over here?”</p><p>“Kinda avoiding all of that,” Kara gestures to the madness surrounding Alex. Their mother argues with the stylist and make-up artist, emphatically disagreeing with their suggestions and making some of her own, Alex joining the mix, and she really is much more comfortable in her little corner. “My mom is a little overbearing and I’d rather stay out of it.”</p><p>“Mhm,” Lena hums, squeezing herself onto the chaise. Their bare thighs press together and the scant space between them brings a flush to her cheeks. Before Kara can stop her or swat her hand, Lena is reaching and grabbing her burger, taking a large bite.  </p><p>Kara flicks Lena’s ear, appalled by her awful manners. “I thought Lillian raised her kids to have impeccable manners.”</p><p>Lena’s laugh is throaty, a slight husk in her ear, and she shivers. “What my mom doesn’t know will hardly hurt her,” she says around another bite. </p><p>“That’s just rude,” Kara pouts, “this is my burger and you’re going to eat it all.” Underneath here scowl, she’s smiling, so Lena takes it as a good sign. </p><p>“Here,” Lena holds it up for Kara to eat and with a worried flick of her eyes, she leans forward and bites. “I’m absolutely starving and your sister is all about her dumb schedule. I mean seriously, she scheduled breakfast and then nothing until after the wedding, which is like in the evening.”</p><p>“You’re telling me,” Kara swallows the last of the burger. She scoots the plate with the remainder of her fries in Lena’s direction. “I totally saw her sneak some food earlier. Absolute fraud.”</p><p>“What are you playing?” Lena leans closer, hooking her chin over Kara’s shoulder to peer at the screen. “<em> Animal Crossing?”  </em>Lena scoots in, face pressing into the tender skin of Kara’s neck. She did her best after her shower to cover up the purple blooming on her skin. “Oh look at your wee village, it’s adorable. I’ll have to visit.”</p><p>Kara blanches. “Wait… what? <em> You </em> know Animal Crossing. Impossible,” </p><p>“What are you trying to say?”</p><p>“Uh that you’re old.”</p><p>“Gasp, how dare you?!” Lena cries, offended as she pinches Kara’s side. “I’m only a few years older than you!”</p><p>“Emphasis on a few.”</p><p>“Why you insolent little shi-“</p><p>“Lena, dear they’re ready for you now.” There’s a knowing gleam in Lillian’s eyes as she takes in their closeness and genial banter. She helps her daughter up, disentangling her from Kara, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as she leads her away. “Oh darling,” she sighs, “you’ve really fallen hard this time.”</p><p>“What?! No I haven—“ her protests die when she meets her mother’s gaze. With slumped shoulders, she finds it all slipping out. Feelings for which she had no name are revealed in extravagant detail, adventures surrounding a mountain and a winding road are told, and she seems to gain momentum as it all tumbles from her lips. “When I’m with her, i-it’s like I have my own sun. I know she’s had some difficulties in the past and I wouldn’t want to add to her troubles, but golly…” she sighs wistfully, a faint note of hope injected into the sound. </p><p>“She doesn’t bite you know.”</p><p>“I do. She’s skittish. I didn’t even know she had a crush on me when we were kids.”</p><p>Lillian cups her daughter’s face in her hands, thumbs tracing the light smattering of freckles on her nose. “Darling, anyone with eyes knew that girl liked you. You were just oblivious and excited about your own things. You were fourteen. I would’ve been surprised if you had noticed.”</p><p>“It just seems that I could’ve discovered her sooner if I had stayed or been a better friend, y’know?” </p><p>“Oh baby, you can’t think like that. You can only think of what’s now. And what’s real is the way that girl looks at you and how she’s pretending to play her game, but her eyes have been on you this entire time.”</p><p>“B-but what about the distance?”</p><p>“I think you’ll figure it out. You did talk about expanding the west coast branch since the company has mostly been in the east. Logistics don’t matter when the heart is involved.”</p><p>“This is oddly reassuring but also really strange.”</p><p>“I’m your mom. I want what’s best for you. I’ve seen the way you give yourself to the company, to the charities you believe in, and you keep giving away all of these pieces of yourself. What happens when there’s nothing left for you?” </p><p>Lena had never thought much of the pieces of herself she willingly gave away nor the ones she left behind. Keeping her mind focused on her tasks is what excels at, but she cannot ignore her mother’s words. Sighing with a slump to her shoulders, Lena glances away. “I haven’t thought much about it. I have to work otherwise I think about the things I don’t have and the things I’m too scared to want.”</p><p>“That’s how I felt when your dad told me about you after your mom died. I-I knew he had an affair, but I didn’t know there was a child. Then he’s telling me the woman had died and he had a daughter. I was scared of the idea of you. I wanted a daughter, but after your brother, there were complications and that wasn’t going to happen. I had gone to work the day he went to get you and stayed there long past the time I should have when he brought you home. I figured if I didn’t have to see you, I could pretend a little longer.”</p><p>Lena swallows at that. Her throat feels dry. It never occurred to her what her existence might have done to her mother. The start of her story was rough and her parents- - her bio mom and her dad-- they never had some fairytale romance. They were never going to have anything, and then Lena happened. “But I remember you there?”</p><p>Lillian nods. “Yes, I thought you arrived earlier than you did, so it was a coincidence of timing or maybe it was God’s way of telling me that you were meant to be. I don’t know. All I remember is as soon as I saw your face, those big green eyes staring back at me, I loved you. You grew in my heart and my life has been fuller, brighter, and happier since that day. You and your brother are my whole world. I may not have raised you from the start, but I’ve loved you from the moment you looked at me.” Lillian brushes a few loose tears. “I want what’s best for you. I know I’m your mom so you think I’m meddling—“</p><p>“You do meddle,” Lena interjects, mumbling, “<em>a lot</em>.”</p><p>“It’s a mother’s job to make sure her children are happy in life.”</p><p>“I have a brother,” Lena points out. "Go bother him."</p><p>Her mother waves her hand dismissively. “Oh honey, your brother is beyond my help at the moment. I’ve tried. Your dad has tried and I know you have. He doesn’t want help and that’s okay. I’ll be waiting for the day that he does and if it never comes, I’ll still love him all the same.”</p><p>“I’m glad you’re my mom,” Lena says, and she really is grateful. She had tried to cling to memories of her birth mother, but the harder she held them, the more fragile they were. She has pictures and a few keepsakes of the woman who gave her life, but that’s all she has, a face in a picture. The woman is no different to her than a stranger on the sidewalk. “I hope you know that. I’m sorry if I haven’t always been the easiest.”</p><p>“You’re everything I could’ve asked for in a daughter. I know you think the company is solely your responsibility, but there’s nothing wrong with asking for help.”</p><p>Asking for help had never been a personal strong suit of hers. Lena always feels that she has to take on everything for herself and bear the responsibility if it goes wrong. She thinks back on her father who came home on weekends, absolutely beat, dark circles ringing his eyes, and the life drained from him. She knows that’s not the kind of life she wants- - to feel exhausted by her work and to never have time for the important stuff. So maybe it is time she starts delegating some of the work she’s kept to herself to relieve some of the stress building up in her shoulders and to finally have time for herself and pursue what she wants. </p><p>“I know,” she admits. “I guess I thought I had something to prove. The board doesn’t seem to approve of me, and I’ve always attributed that to my gender.”</p><p>“The board doesn’t like change. You’ve redirected the company’s focus into different fields and away from weapons. They will get over it when they see how brilliant you are and what you’re doing is better for L-Corp in the long run. I never did say how much I love the rebranding.”</p><p>“Y-you’re not mad? It’s just that you and dad really made the company into what it is and I don’t want to disappoint.”</p><p>The colour drains from her mother’s face, and light in her eyes dims considerably. “Is—is that what you think?”</p><p>Lena shakes her head, resting a hand on top of her mother’s. “No, I just want to make you proud. What if I fail?”</p><p>“And what if you soar? Lena, all you can ever do is try and your dad and I will be proud of you. He would be the first to tell you that you’re doing wonderful. He’s a little jealous too because you’ve exceeded anything he ever did. So please don’t doubt yourself or what you’ve got to offer because sweetheart, you’ve got a lot of love to give and so does—“ Lillian flicks her eyes and Lena follows, though she knows where it leads. Kara happily sips her milkshake, playing on her Switch. It’s yellow like sunshine and it’s the embodiment of Kara. “All I’ll say is you guys would make a lovely couple.” Lillian pushes herself up, on her feet in an instant. She runs her knuckles over Lena’s cheeks, bending to peck her daughter’s cheek. </p><p>“Also nice bra sweetheart, definitely want to give the girls an extra lift.” </p><p>“MOM!!” Her mother winks and is off with a flourish to converse with her fellow wine mom. </p><p>“Oh my god, I’m having a stroke.” It’s the only explanation besides being transported to an alternate universe. She loves her mom. She is grateful for her presence in her life. But she also wishes her mom wouldn’t say things like that. Her mom knows more about her sex like than she would prefer, and that’s too much to handle as is. </p><p>The stylists giggles, lightly tugging on Lena’s damp strands. “I have an embarrassing mom too. You love them, but also wish they had a filter and would find something else to focus on.”</p><p>“Exactly that,” she mumbles as the woman brushes through her knotted ends. The motion helps take her mind off her mom and everything else. </p><p>Lena relaxes, the ministrations of the hair stylist lulling her into a light sleep. By the time she opens her eyes, the make-up artist is there and Kara is gone. She swallows her disappointment, knowing she will catch Kara at the wedding. </p><p> And when she does, she finds the breath stolen from her lungs as she gapes at her, hungrily drinking in the sight of what she can only think of as an angel when a beam of light hits Kara at the right angle, giving her an ethereal glow.</p><p>Her hair curls around her shoulders like spilled sunlight, bright and shiny. Her dress is a deep blue, the skirt made of a lovely gossamer. Lena almost misses the eyelet dresses Kara had worn their first night, to the disastrous brunch, and of course to the rehearsal. But she can certainly appreciate how the bodice hugs Kara’s torso and the skirt flows out from her. “Wow,” she breathes. </p><p>Kara bites her lip. “Thanks, you look amazing too.” Lena glances down at her maid of honour dress. The shiny dark green fabric flatters her pale skin, a bit conservative in the cut, but altogether quite nice. She’s attended other weddings and knows Alex could have picked worse as she used to joke when they were younger. “I like this colour on you.” She smooths her hand over one of the straps, fingers daintily brushing against Lena’s skin. Goosebumps erupt along the trail. “I’m kinda thankful they decided to use their friends as members of their bridal parties. That way I get to stare at you.”</p><p> “You’re a flatterer.”</p><p>“Only when it comes to you,” Kara says. She leans in to gently peck Lena’s lips, pulling back with an anxious look. </p><p>Lena touches her tingling lips, somewhat in a daze, her pulse jumped at the light touch. “What was that?”</p><p>Kara shrugs. “You look so pretty. I wanted to kiss you.” Her eyes are earnest, pools of the deepest blue, and Lena wants to drown in them. “I uh, should probably let you get going.” She tugs nervously on her dress and Lena wants to smooth out the wrinkle forming between her brows. Instead she keeps her hands to herself. </p><p>“Yeah, see you after?”</p><p>“Definitely,” she agrees. </p><hr/><p>Kara spends the time before the wedding holed up in a room off the suite with her mother and sister. She finds it sweet and a little silly how often her mom cries over Alex, unable to stop herself from reminiscing about the past.</p><p>
  <span>She knows Eliza has been planning this moment for a while after tuning in on their weekly phone calls. She sought Kara out for advice as she practiced her little speech, wanting it to be perfect fof when she finally delivered it. So it’s not quite a surprise when her mom decides to just go for it.</span>
</p><p>“I remember when I believed you and your sister,” she sighs wistfully, turning to Kara and drawing her closer. “When I thought the two of you would never have a kind word to share. And now look at you, my <em> girls</em>,” she cries.</p><p>“Alex, I’m so proud of you, not just for getting married, but you’ve accomplished so much. You graduated from medical school and you’re about to start your residency at one of the best hospitals in the country. You’ve grown into such a beautiful, caring, brave woman and I couldn’t be prouder as your mom. You’re an amazing mom to Ruby and a great sister and support to Kara.” A dark flush dusts Alex’s cheeks as their mom continues to speak. </p><p>Eliza seems to look past her daughters into a well of memories- - her eyes staring through a looking glass to a time gone from them, no more tangible than puffs of smoke. </p><p>Kara thinks of those simpler times and her rough start with her sister. It took some time to clear the air and start anew, but once it did, their budding sisterhood saved them. Two lonely children found that having someone to share life with was rather enjoyable. Kara throws an arm around her mom’s shoulders. “Yeah, we remember mom.”</p><p>“Like that time when Kara fell down the stairs.”</p><p>Kara makes an indistinguishable sound in the back of her throat. “We said we wouldn’t mention that,” she laughs, “it’s so embarrassing and never fails to make our stomachs hurt.”</p><p>“It’s hardly my fault you with your genius brain and brilliant wisdom decided to go downstairs with a sheet over your head, slipped when your foot caught, and slid halfway down the stairs. And then got up with the sheet still on and ran smack dab into the wall and fell <em>again</em>.”</p><p>Kara covers her face, shoulders shaking and belly aching with the force of her laughter. She considers herself lucky not to have broken anything. The whole incident is more funny to her than anything given her own folly. “Ugh what was I thinking?”</p><p>“I don’t know. I’m still mad that I didn’t think to record it on my phone. It was right there, but it would make a good story at your wedding one day.” Kara frowns at her sister, feeling disoriented by the shift in conversation. “I mean hopefully they already know what a klutz you are, but love is blind as they say.” Alex shrugs, turning back to the mirror to adjust a few of the pins in her hair. </p><p>It takes a moment for the words to filter to her head. “Already? Alex, I-I’m not dating anyone,” she says, the words tasting bitter like a lie.  </p><p>Alex rolls her eyes. “Obviously Kara, I meant more in the future, y’know down the road when maybe you’ll consider marriage yourself?” There’s something odd about the delivery of her sister’s loaded words that she chooses to ignore. She doubts Alex knows anything about what she’s been up to given the lengths she’s gone to avoid spending time alone with her. </p><p>“I don’t know,” she hedges, doubt creeping into her tone- - a faint note of melancholy weaving through her words. “I’m not sure I’ll find someone like you’ve found Sam.”</p><p>“Oh sweetie,” her mom sighs, “don’t count your chickens before they hatch. You don’t know what tomorrow may bring, and I would hate for you to do anything drastic. Now enough of this talk, today is your sister’s wedding, which means it’s a day full of possibility for anything including love.” Kara hides her grin. Her mother’s lack of subtlety is well known and documented. Eliza refuses to mince her words and the only reason for veiling the truth is that it is Alex’s special day. </p><p>It’s the quiet, tender way that her mom looks at her. She wants to believe her, have the same certainty, and maybe there’s something knowing in her gaze. Like she knows what’s in Kara’s heart even when Kara’s not sure. </p><p>And she’s undeserving of it, especially not with her behaviour these last several months and her general treatment of her mom. The phone call from a few days prior hangs heavy like a noose around her neck. She knows eventually they’ll have to smooth out the angry, jarred edges of their relationship. She hasn’t been the best daughter or sister.</p><p>Guilt sits heavy on her shoulders like a thousand pound cinder block. Now that she’s no longer in the thick of it, it’s become clearer what her mom and her family have done for her. She’s done nothing but wallow in her misery and her own self-loathing, pushing away the ones she should have held close. “I-I, mom,” she starts, unsure how to push the words past the cement drying in her throat.</p><p>“Let’s save it for another time,” Eliza suggests, patting her cheek. “You’ve got a lady waiting for you and you’re not really a pretty crier, honey.”</p><p>“Rude,” she cries in mock offence, whispering into her ear, “real smooth, mom.”</p><p>“Don’t know what you’re talking about sweetheart. Now go get dressed and no more snacks. I saw you eyeing that menu earlier and if I can’t eat, neither can you.”</p><p>“Mom,” she draws out the the single syllable. </p><p>Her mother points her finger in the direction of the bathroom where her dress hangs on the door, leaving no room for argument or to broker a deal. “Completely unfair, I’m hungry,” she grumbles, ignoring her mother’s sharp glare.</p><p>Mindful of her rolled up hair, Kara is gentle as she shrugs off her hood and slips out of her tank. She slips on a bra and slides out of her shorts. The dress is easy to put on, though she does need her mother to do up the pearl buttons on the back. “You look beautiful,” her mom compliments over her shoulder, fastening the gold pendant in place. “I think we can let your hair down now.” Kara bobs her head and helps her mom undo her hair. The pin curls spring to life once loose and her mom pushes her back into the room where a hair stylist waits with pins and a can of hairspray. </p><p>It’s another half an hour before she’s proclaimed ready. Her make-up is subtle and natural, emphasising her features- - the colour of her eyes popping more than usual. Her skin appears delightfully sun kissed. Her lips are painted a luscious, tantalising red and she errantly wonders what colour Lena’s are. She stares at her image in the mirror, tracing over the lines of her face, and longing rises up in her, gripping her heart. It feels good and hurts all at once. </p><p>That old desire is back. Her eyes are bluebell flames, intense and passionate. Even a few days ago, they were dull, lacking the fires of life, and her sullen face rarely showed anything. Now the brightness has returned and she glows, not just the outside but something inside of her. She’s no longer walking on a string, struggling to keep everything balanced before she falls over. And the detachment from her life that had kept her cold has gone with Lena’s warm touch, reminding her she is alive and there’s more ahead. </p><p>“You look so happy.”</p><p>Kara whirls around to face her sister. Alex stares curiously at her, head tilted and arms relaxed at her side. “Wh-what?”</p><p>“The last time I saw you, you looked half dead and you weren’t even in the hospital anymore. You just seemed like there was nothing left for you. You looked lonely. I didn’t know what to do to help you.” Kara guiltily looks away. “I understood which is why I never said anything. But these last few days, I’ve seen my sister again.” Kara opens her mouth as Alex holds up a hand to stop her. Her mouth snaps shut with a loud click. “I don’t care why. I’m just happy that you’re okay.”</p><p>Kara closes the distance between them, throwing her arms around her sister. Her eyes slide shut as she breathes in the light flowery perfume her sister wears and feels her sisters arms wrap around her. “I love you.”</p><p>“Love you too, baby sis.” Alex presses her lips to Kara’s hair and they both let out a watery chuckle. “Now come on, I’m getting married.”</p><p>“All you care about is that tonight you get to scream ‘my <em> wife </em>’ over and over.” Alex swats at her as their mom calls her name. “Oops,” she giggles. “In my defence totally thought you left the room.”</p><p>“Ugh, both of you have spent so much time with your father. Absolutely incorrigible,” Eliza groans with a dismal shake of her head.</p><p>“Probably true,” Alex concedes, adding, “it’s not even the worst thing either of us has said.”</p><p>“I don’t even want to know.”</p><p>It’s probably for the best they never enlighten their mom to the sort of crass things they’ve said and been exposed to over the years. They would get an earful and never hear the end of it, and it was sort of nice sharing something with their dad.</p><p>So she watches as her mom fusses over her sister, adjusting and readjusting the pins in her hair as Alex bats her hands away. It reminds her of when Alex was getting ready for prom and their mom kept hovering, itching to do anything. Alex grew annoyed when she fixed her hair then too.</p><p><br/>A massive grin splits Kara’s face as she watches the familiar scene play out. While the setting has changed, her mom and sister are still the same. And she finds it comforting with all the change she’s endured and the change up ahead.</p><p>She leaves them to it to wander about the hotel. She’s not really searching for anything or maybe she is. </p><p>Kara catches up to Lena just before the ceremony, and she’s struck dumb by her beauty. The light hits her and half of her is caught in the bright sunshine; the red in her hair peeks through and Lena is incandescent. Something takes root in her heart, sowing the seeds of tomorrow, and it takes her breath away. She’s never felt this in her life. </p><p>No one conjured these feelings or came close to it, including her ex. She’s tried so hard to rid herself of them, ignore the flutter in her stomach, or the jolt in her pulse when Lena touches her, but it’s become impossible. </p><p>The corners of her mouth are curving as Kara approaches and it suddenly becomes real. Their banter remains light and fun, neither daring to cross the Rubicon today of all days.</p><p>As they part ways Kara knows with startling clarity what that look in her mom’s eyes meant.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You can find me on <a href="https://sappho-mia.tumblr.com">
    <em>tumblr</em></a>.</p><p>I hope you enjoyed and I'll be back with part 2 on Saturday. And true story about the stairs, I was the older sister laughing.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Part 2 is here. Happy Galentine's Day!</p><p>Thanks to catargott, haylssunflowerx, and thewaterymellen for editing this for me. And if there any mistakes, well that's my fault.</p><p>I also made a fun <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/65f87q3lzJ1glKCJXkFrQ0?si=VZXjeOUWRU6_2HkPg6RYlQ"><em>spotify</em></a> playlist for the wedding.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A latticed arch, adorned with dozens of bright flowers- - fluttering softly against the wind- - stands proudly at the end of the aisle. The waves roll gently in the distance, white foam splashing every few seconds when the sea meets the land. The sun hangs low, casting an orange glow, just above the horizon, the sky a slowly darkening soft blue as day creeps into night. The heat of the day has settled, though the air remains humid and briny. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The procession begins with the bridesmaids-- for both brides-- walking first in pairs before parting to their sides. Lena flashes Kara a grin with that astonished light once again in her eyes before she takes her spot. She fidgets a little and the bouquet in her hands rustles with the sea breeze. Kara is familiar with this and it almost seems like a dream she’s had. And maybe Lena knows this story too for when Kara’s gaze swivels in her direction, Lena’s is there to meet hers. Her green orbs are disarming in their intensity, softening as the corners of her eyes crease with happiness. Kara nearly forgets that a wedding is happening until the music transitions and everyone is turning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And standing there in a cream coloured dress is Sam, escorted by Ruby and her mom. Her smile is effervescent and she has that </span>
  <em>
    <span>glow</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Her eyes sparkle as she glides down the aisle and then there’s her sister at the start with their parents. She wears that same smile, perhaps a little more impatient, but she looks happy and she’s radiant. Her dress is more of an egg-shell color and the sweetheart neckline accentuates her figure. Their dad appears close to losing it and their mom isn't even trying anymore. Kara's lips twitch with amusement, but she manages to restrain herself from bursting into laughter. She loves her mom, she really does. But honestly, her sister is just getting married, not moving a million miles away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their parents beam proudly as they kiss Alex’s cheeks before moving away to take their seats. Alex and Sam meet in front of the arch, hands clasping as tears spill from their eyes, exchanging a few watery chuckles as they turn to the justice of the peace. A particularly large wave crashes into the shore behind them, the sound loud like hundreds of claps, a mist lightly spraying the brides. Neither seem bothered and everything finally begins. It takes an achingly long stretch of time before they arrive at the vows and the exchanging of rings, and even Kara has to wipe a few stray tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like a blink of the eye, time swiftly passes as day ushers in night and the formal part of the ceremony concludes with the last faint glimmers of sunlight to guide them as they make their way back to the hotel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the wedding procession and endless photos with multiple groupings of family and wedding party, the evening starts to settle when everyone gathers in the hall for the reception. There are about 40 guests in total, spread out over half a dozen tables. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fairy lights are strung across the space, glowing softly like a million fireflies. Candles flicker from the centre of each table and all around them are hundreds of flowers. It’s beautiful, sort of rust, and intimate just as Alex and Sam pictured when they first started planning. Music plays softly in the background as everyone finds their table and the brides finally make their entrance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a rowdy cheer when Alex and Sam enter with pink cheeks and large grins. Ruby runs to her moms, throwing her arms around them and everyone applauds for the family. Kara catches Lena’s eyes, flushing when Lena winks at her. Kara redirects her gaze to her sister and her new sister-in-law as they approach the main table. Sam flashes her that knowing look as they move around, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze and a mumble of ‘we’ll talk later’.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara supposes Sam is the preferable option for a talk. It’s not that she’s not bursting to tell her sister, to share something positive in her life, but there’s a gnawing worry that she’ll disapprove.  She takes her seat when the hype dies down and the brides take their seats at the head of the main table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The brides had designed the evening with  the speeches kicking off things after the appetisers were served to allow people to fill their empty stomachs and ply themselves with copious amounts of alcohol. Since it was a wedding, free booze was a given and Kara was certainly taking advantage of that—already on her second glass of wine, having downed her first within seconds to soothe her growing nerves. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena taps her fork to her glass, capturing everyone’s attention, though she always has Kara’s. During the ceremony, she had found her gaze drawn to Lena. She paid attention for the important bits like their vows, tuning out the rest as her eyes rested on the one who counted as technically her wedding date. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena glances to the couple with an abundance of fondness shining in her beautiful green eyes. “When Alex and I were wee children, dreaming of fairytales and someone sweeping us off our feet, Alex always mentioned hers would be some handsome prince. She went on and on about him and how she couldn’t wait to meet him one day.” Lena pauses, holding her audience captive as she unrolls a piece of yellowed paper. From beside her, Alex groans, covering her face as Sam tries to tug her hands away. “Which is why you should never take a seven year old at their word,” she laughs. The hall fills with laughter from the guests as Alex groans. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We made lists of all the attributes we wanted in our future spouses,” she clears her throat, smirking at her best friend. “My future </span>
  <em>
    <span>husband</span>
  </em>
  <span> by Alex Danvers, age seven, my future husband will be really tall even taller than daddy. He will have sparkly eyes- - guess she got that right. He will be super strong and give me piggy back rides when I want. Sam did do that once and then promptly collapsed onto the couch. He will like sports because I like baseball and football and getting rough with the boys at soccer. He’s gotta be super smart because I’m really smart. Daddy and mommy say so. He can be stinky sometimes. Fiona loved Shrek and mommy says looks don’t always matter. She says it’s all about character, whatever that means.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone awes and giggles as Alex buries her face in Sam’s hair. “But the one thing Alex did get that she asked for is for her future spouse to love her as much as she loved them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She turns to face the happy couple with a happy expression and tears pooling in her eyes. “I’ve been there from the start. I watched as these two danced around each other and pretended they were friends when everyone else knew. They worked hard to get this point by providing endless support and love to each other through the difficult times and never giving up. They recognised that this,” Lena says, waving her hand about, “is special and that you can’t throw it away. You guys made me believe in love and second chances. I’m so thankful to be a part of all this and wish you all the best in the future. To the happy couple,” she cries. Everyone holds up their glasses, clinking them with their table mates as the speeches continue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After the mothers of the brides deliver theirs, there’s not a dry eye in the room. The appetisers are eventually exchanged for main courses and the room is filled with happy, idle chatter. The dance floor is cleared after Sam and Alex make their way around the room, moving to the centre for their first dance as wives. Their smiles are soft and adoring as they meet in the middle, hands reaching out to clasp one another’s, dresses swishing like water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The opening chords of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dressed Up in White</span>
  </em>
  <span> begin and Alex and Sam start to float around the dance floor. Their eyes remain on each other and Kara sighs happily as cameras flash in her peripheral. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees her mom quietly sniffling, head leaning on her dad’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara is conversing with one of Sam’s bridesmaids when she suddenly asks, “So, you and Lena?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She chokes on her chicken, coughing maniacally as she sips at her water. “Wh-what? I-I’m sorry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The cousin winks. “She’s hot. You’re hot. I mean I don’t know if you’ve noticed but you can’t keep your eyes off her and she’s been glaring at me since I started talking to you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Kara tries not to look at Lena, but if her eyes happen to dart in that direction, it’s not her fault. Sure enough there’s Lena looking at her. Her eyes snap away when she notices Kara staring back and there’s a faint flush brightening her face. “It’s uh just a thing.” She ignores the pang in her heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well that thing is walking in this direction.” The cousin excuses herself and Kara slowly loses her nerve. All of her reasons for not continuing this float right out of her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena’s eyes glitter like newly minted sea glass. Kara remembers collecting pieces at the beach as a child, entranced by the colour, the perfect mix of blue and green. She picked out the ones she thought best matched Lena’s eyes, leaving them wrapped on her porch with a small tag, her name hastily scribbled. She never asked Lena if she received her gift, too nervous to speak in front of her and mortified by the possibility of Alex knowing. But she hopes she did.</span>
</p><p> Her gaze drifts to her sister and new sister-in-law sharing their own special moment. She feels her heart constrict at the sight of them. </p><p>
  <span>The newlyweds glide and spin, sharing a kiss when the first song ends. Kara claps with the rest of the room when they finish their first dance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The music transitions and the piano softens as the sweet beginning chords of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Turning Page</span>
  </em>
  <span> wash over Kara. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena holds out her shaking hand; there’s a nervous edge to her, her smile slipping at the corners and her eyes flickering like flames in the dark. Kara has two options: leave Lena hanging or accept her offer. Her eyes flutter shut and she takes a deep breath, centering herself as her hand slips into Lena’s, fingers tangling like vines. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She is out of her seat, trailing inches behind Lena as she leads them to the dance floor. It’s the first open admission of something deeper between them; there’s something here that neither of them are willing to voice. It’s frightening how she finds herself easing into conversation with Lena without struggle. The words tumble out and there’s Lena listening with rapt attention. She takes in every sound and half thought, nodding and humming, asking questions. Already Kara anticipates Lena’s lilted honey tone. She’s learning the cadence and what certain pauses mean, reading her body language, noting the different expressions. It would be easy to fall in love with Lena like closing her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Part of her knows she’s halfway there if not fully. She ignores her thoughts as Lena pulls her close, their hands pressed between them as they move in a small circle. Other couples slow dance around them, circling the two brides. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over Lena’s shoulder, Kara watches her sister gaze at her bride with such tenderness and she reads the naked love on her face. This is all Alex wanted from the time she came out, convinced there was no one out there for her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The lyrics feel fitting and packed full of meaning. She presses her cheek to Lena’s as the somber melody floods the room. Her entire life, she has waited for someone like Lena to show up and want her for who she is. The pretty words touch something inside of her and she knows that what she’s tried to escape has finally caught up to her. The whole weekend was her turning page, the start of something new and hopefully better than what was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Intimacy swells between them as the emotion rises and falls with the change in tempo, unfolding new layers as the song progresses. The song feels climactic, bringing with it unburied feelings that are constantly evolving and driving her in one singular direction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That revelation sends her mind spinning and to drown it out, she asks Lena if she wants a drink and heads straight for the bar at the song’s close. A cowardly move she knows, but she’s overwhelmed and reeling from her own thought process. “Take a deep breath,” she whispers to herself when she spots Lena. “You can do this.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And she does. She and Lena share a few drinks before heading back out to the dance floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She snickers a little at the latest song. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Endless Love </span>
  </em>
  <span>is the last selection she would associate with her sister. No offence to her in the slightest, but it was not a song she expected her to know given the stuff that blasted from her room when they were kids. She chalks it up to Sam’s influence on her sister. They mouth the lyrics to each other and it’s beautiful, they’re beautiful. What they have is what she desires, something endless. Sam and Alex are each other’s missing half. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you crying?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Kara says, sniffling. “Okay yes, but look at them.” Lena shuffles their position, turning her head to look at the happy couple. “I’ve never seen Alex look at anyone else like that. Sam came into her life and she knew. She told me that there wasn’t a singular moment where she knew that it was forever. She just knew they would be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know what she means,” Lena replies. Her statement is loaded with potential and too many possibilities for her to consider. “They have what so many covet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Covet it,” Kara whispers, lips brushing the shell of Lena’s ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena falters for a moment, losing her footing. Smoothly, with far more control than Kara could manage off the ice, she regains her footing, sweeping Kara off her feet. “I do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Their moment is interrupted by the DJ, saving Lena from having to think up a satisfactory response. She knows their evening is moving towards something unexpected, something much deeper that bridges their whole weekend together. So she’s thankful for the reprieve, while she puts herself together to have a conversation that has become necessary. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s time for the mother-daughter dance,” the DJ announces. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The floor clears out almost instantly, filled with mothers and daughters, and Lena drifts into the arms of her mom. Ruby dances with Alex, while Sam spins with Patricia, and Kara leans heavily into her mother as the opening chords of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Isn’t She Lovely</span>
  </em>
  <span> pours out of the speakers, sweeping across the room and washes over all of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was I right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena reels back in horror, despising the sight of her mother’s smug smirk. She rolls her eyes as her Lillian tugs her closer. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she says, feigning ignorance. If she pretends, maybe her mother will drop the subject, though she seriously doubts it. Lillian is like a dog with a bone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t play dumb with me, I raised you. I’m wise to your wily ways.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a deep, long suffering sigh, she concedes defeat and confirms Lillian was in fact right about Kara having some sort of feelings for her. “I think so. I don’t know. She’s not always very clear with what she means.” It’s the most frustrating part about the situation. Kara says a lot. That is true. But it’s the thing she keeps to herself that worries Lena. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s been like that for as long as I’ve known her. I think it comes from her not spending a lot of time around peers since she was homeschooled and then eventually left her hometown to train in the city. She doesn’t have a whole lot of people she talks to outside of a few close friends and her family. And her last relationship was a complete disaster.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you know her ex?” The question spills from her mouth without hesitation. She only knows what Kara shared with her, and she finds herself genuinely curious about the girl who caught Kara’s eye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lillian twirls Lena. She sees it for the distraction it is. “That bad, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her mother purses her lips as the rest of her face pinches together. Lena learned when she was really young that the expression meant nothing good. “Kara liked her so I tried. Eliza tried too. It was the first time she even thought about dating someone else, so I thought what was the harm? The girl was a couple of years old, but you could tell from the first meeting, something wasn’t right. It was the way she looked at Kara when no one was looking, sorta predatory and full of loathing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It is difficult for her to picture anyone despising Kara, even Alex cared for Kara to an extent. “I guess Kara never saw?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Lillian says. “She wants to see the best in everyone and I respect it…” Her voice trails off, swallowed by the music. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you wish she wouldn’t?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena accepts the answer for what it is, a non-answer. It doesn’t really provide her with anything concrete, but she feels she has a better image of the person Kara is beneath all the layers. “Thanks mom,” she whispers as the song concludes. Lips press to her hair and she feels tears welling in her eyes. She blinks them back, pulling away from her mom with a trembling smile. Lillian lifts a hand to her cheek, thumb stroking the skin for a moment before dropping it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lillian turns her around, patting her backside and practically shoves her in the direction of Kara. “Go on,” she encourages with a shooing motion. “Get the girl.” Lena scowls. One day her mother will find some other pastime besides interfering in her love life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a rueful shake of her head, she heads in the direction of Kara- - who is having her own nosy mom moment. She’s facing Eliza, so there’s not much to go on about their conversation until Kara turns, and Lena catches the glare she shoots Eliza. When she notices Lena, she casts her eyes downward for a moment before lifting them. All of the irritation seems to dissipate with the tiny action. She saunters toward Lena, her movements appearing graceful and poised. They meet in the middle and the rest of the world seems to melt away when they are finally in each other’s arms.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>All of the guests crowd on the dance floor as the music picks up, shifting to something more upbeat. At first she’s convinced people are shouting when she hears the loud drum of voices, slowly becoming aware that they are in fact singing. Dishes clatter, shoes scuff and stomp, and Kara finds herself pushed closer to Lena. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No words are exchanged as they move around the room. Their gazes connect and a secret conversation passes between them. The press of fingers on Kara’s back, the stroke of a thumb, the squeeze of a hand, all of these touches express more than words ever could. Lena’s eyes hold the key to everything she believed she would never have. Dreams and futures she had long ago given up after her accident. She was done with love and relationships, convinced that nothing good could come from them. But here she is, on the verge of something glorious and new with someone she never dared to consider as a possibility. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The soft pads of Lena’s fingers trail across the open planes of her back, teasing her skin. Her skin prickles with heat and her cheeks burn brightly. Lena takes the lead, hands planted on Kara’s waist as they move to the beat. She hooks her chin over her shoulder, warm breaths graze her ear as Lena presses her chest to her back. It’s an unspoken agreement that she’s the pair’s superior dancer and Kara cannot disagree with that. Heats crawls up her spine from all of the bodies and the humidity that drifts in from the open door. But mostly, it’s all just Lena causing all of the nerves in her body to fire at once. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The music blares around them, the energy picking up as everyone grows more intoxicated. Alcohol rushes through her and her pulse races as she tries to keep up with the frenetic energy. Her tired muscles ache with exertion and she’s reminded of the hard push she gave her body that morning, sinking with relief as the next song slows things down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara turns and loops her arms around Lena’s neck, finding that with Lena in heels, they are about level with each other. Normally, she would have a few more inches on the other woman, but she finds this nice too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She just barely remembers to keep enough distance to prevent herself from doing something dumb like kissing Lena. Her mind screams </span>
  <em>
    <span>LENA</span>
  </em>
  <span>, begging her this once to go against reason and logic, to follow another passion- - one that can give her happiness and a life beyond the borders of her room and most of all love. Because she sees it now. It’s all laid before her, a movie she’s watched a dozen times and knows the ending, never ceasing to be amazed by it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sweat pools at her brow as they lose themselves in the movement and flow of the room. Beats and rhythms change as they cycle between decades and genres. Her limbs are heavy as she pounds it out to the music, feeling her happiness overflow. She laughs as Lena wiggles and shakes her hips, tunelessly singing along to the lyrics. “You’re lucky you’re so pretty,” Kara giggles, tipsy from a few glasses of champagne. Laughter bubbles out of her and she just gazes at Lena. Alex would probably say she has her dopey Lena smile. She feels her grin turn lazy, sloping at the corners and the fond crinkle of her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over the course of the night, the curls in Lena’s hair had fallen, giving it the appearance of spilled ink rushing down her back. “You’re beautiful,” Kara says, the words slipping through her parted lips without a thought to push them. Normally such a sentence would stall in her throat, becoming thick and heavy as she tried to compliment a pretty girl. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena steps closer, closing any remaining distance between them. Kara leans her head to Lena’s shoulder, sighing contentedly at the gentle sound of her beating heart. Her pulse quickens for a scant moment before evening out as they continue to drift. Their surroundings fall away and it’s just them, swaying to familiar melodies. “You’re drunk,” Lena whispers, smoothing out the loose strands of Kara’s hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘M’not,” Kara mumbles, “jus’ happy.” Her face presses closer to Lena’s chest. She’s drunk off Lena’s touch and hates the idea of having to part, so she savours this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena hums disbelievingly, arms tightening around Kara’s waist. Her hand splays across the blonde’s lower back, fingers lightly scratching and stroking of their own accord, and it’s as if they have transcended into another plane of existence. Kara purrs, the sound vibrating through Lena. “Come on you,” Lena says, shifting out of their dancing form. She tugs Kara over to the cake table, snatching a slice for them to share. Kara had already consumed several slices earlier, stubbornly refusing to admit just how many it was. Her appetite was unmatched. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Green eyes roam over the room, latching onto their drunken mothers holding tightly to one another. Kara and Alex’s dad leans against the wall with the fondest smile stretched across his face as he watches them. His gaze meets hers and he nods, making a shooing movement with his hands. “Huh,” she whispers too low for Kara. She and Kara move towards the open doors, the breeze wafting off the ocean pulls them like the moon controlling the tides. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The moon rests high in the sky, arcing over the dark wrinkled surface of the water. In the pearly glow, Kara’s golden mane transforms under the streams of moonlight, absorbing the white, appearing like spun silk. She almost looks transparent, bleached of colour, except for the blue of her dress. She reminds Lena of an elvish princess, face carved from the finest porcelain, lips puckered and painted a faint pink, large otherworldly blue eyes peer curiously at her, hundreds of freckles scattered across her her cheeks and the bridge of her nose- -mini constellations ready for her to map.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Distantly the party continues on inside, notes slipping out every now and then. Kara lays across the stone wall, body stretched taut as she reaches overhead. Elegance and grace seem to find her despite the lack of general control over her limbs. Even in an inebriated state, Kara knows her body and the way her arms fold reminds Lena of a dancer with their precision and gentle flow. They arc towards the sky, hands twirling in pale beams like ribbons floating in the air. Kara hums a few notes of the current song, abruptly switching to the lyrics. Her words no longer slur, ringing with perfect clarity as they travel across the water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something warm flutters in Lena’s stomach, digging into her ribs as she listens and watches the performance of someone meant for the spotlight. Kara possesses sparkle and shine and the ability to tell a story, whether through her words or her body. She figured out the key to capturing her audience and drawing them into her world. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>All I needed was the love you gave; all I need for another day, all I ever knew, only you.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena feels the hot prickle of eyes on her. She snaps to attention, unaware of the change in script, legs carrying her to Kara. She holds the plate in front of her, not sure if it’s a shield or an offering. Kara grows bolder, directing the lyrics of the song to Lena. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>This is going to take a long time. And I wonder what’s mine. Can’t take no more, wonder if you’ll understand. It’s just a touch of your hand,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” slipping her hand into Lena’s free one, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>behind a closed door. All I need was the love you gave. All I needed for another day, and all I ever knew, only.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Her voice tapers off into the sea breeze and rolling waters. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gold glints off her neck and dimly she realises it’s Kara’s pendant. Lena lowers herself, setting the cake to the side as her fingers brush across the golden circle. There are faint lines etched into it and she has to squint to make out the outlines of a flower. “It’s a morning glory,” Kara says, answering her unspoken question. “It’s the flower for September.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your birth month,” Lena recalls. It’s strange the details that come back to her after years of not thinking about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara nods, a pleased grin curving up the sides of her face. “That’s right. My birth parents gave it to me. Alex thought it was fitting since it symbolises unrequited love.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She would.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Back then it used to drive me crazy. She constantly teased me about my crush on you. When I was older though, she apologised for it. She realised I had latched onto you because you were the first person to make me feel safe and… welcome.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hardness of the ground digs into her knees, but she ignores all of that in favour of the girl in front of her. She sees the traces of the little girl that clung to her when the voices grew too loud, who was there to answer the phone after a single ring, opened every door out of breath and pink cheeked, and who refused to say goodbye when Lena left. In her place is a woman, strong and beautiful, smart and wise, broken and healed, holding all the missing the pieces in the palms of her hands. “I—Kara—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shh,” she hushes, placing her fingers over Lena’s lips. “There’s no need to apologise. You didn’t owe me anything and honestly it would’ve been years if you had stayed before something could’ve happened if it ever did. I think it happened the way it was supposed to all along.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I would’ve noticed you sooner.” Lena cannot imagine a universe where she’s not captivated by the marvellous creature before her. There’s something alluring that compels her to notice Kara. She lights up a room with her presence without diminishing those around her. “You’re not someone who hides in the shadows. You’re a sun, the center of all things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Selling yourself a little short there,” Kara laughs, tucking Lena’s hand into her lap. Her thumb traces patterns over Lena’s wrist, swirling indiscernible shapes into the sensitive skin. “You’re no slouch yourself. You’re bright and endless, a comet that comes around once in a generation. You travel all over and people are lucky to see— to know you. You’re a rare gem. Me, I’m just a star. You can see them anywhere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No just about you. Like any system, there’s a focal point, something with a strong gravitational pull, and that’s you for me. I know this is all quick and there’s a lot to work through with logistics, but maybe we could talk after tonight without the thrill and excitement of the wedding humming in our veins.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A beat of silence passes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So about that cake…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena smiles with a roll of her eyes, shifting onto her bottom, relieving her knees of dull pain. “Ahh,” sighs happily. “Okay cake monster here we go.” She picks up the plate topped with a large slice of decadent chocolate. She cuts her fork into it, lifting the bite to Kara’s lips. “Open wide.”  Kara wraps her mouth around the fork, moans erupting from her throat as she mhms. Lens clears her throat, smoothing the back of her hand down Kara’s exposed thigh. The flushed space between them painfully reminds her of the brewing possibility of sex as the night progresses and the urge to touch increases. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tonight will be different than last night. She feels it in their shared touches, the soft press of their bodies, and the exchange of intimate insight. Kara licks the gooey remnants of chocolate off the fork before pulling back with a blue glimmer. “Delicious,” she whispers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena goes to slice a bite for herself when Kara snatches the fork from her hand, intent on feeding Lena in return. “Here comes the rocket ship, whoosh whoosh.” And Lena snorts at the goofiness, widening her mouth for a landing. She chuckles with a mouth full of gooey goodness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You dork,” she says around the bite. Peals of laughter escape her as she tries to chew and not choke, though Kara hardly helps as she swishes another forkful through the air with her little rocket sounds. “I fucking can’t with you,” she chortles, falling back against the stone wall. “You’re so weird.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena flicks Kara’s bent leg. “Absolute dork, but I really wouldn’t have you any other way.” She bites her tongue to prevent anything more revealing from coming out tonight. She wants to save any serious discussions for when they have clear minds, so there is no mincing of words or room for misinterpretation. She runs her knuckles across the cheek closest to her face, fingers dragging across the downy skin. A light flush spreads, adding some colour to her pallor. “Give me this cake, you’re much too slow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” Kara tries to grab the plate back from Lena’s hands, falling off the wall with an oomph. “You made me fall.” She lifts up onto her forearms. Her glare while impressive is ruined by the pout adorning her lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You made yourself fall by trying to steal </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>cake.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um excuse you, but that’s clearly </span>
  <em>
    <span>our</span>
  </em>
  <span> cake.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena taps her chin, pretending to give their debate some thought. “I’m going to have to disagree. You see, I was the one who grabbed it. And I kindly chose to share it with you because I’m just so generous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara scoffs, again trying to reach over for the cake. Lena smacks her hand with the fork. “You’re a meanie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now is that how you get someone to provide you a service? If you want some of </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> cake, you must ask politely.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara growls, face softening into a smile. “Fine,” she huffs, “oh Lena, sweet and wonderful Lena—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t forget generous,” Lena says, “or my genius intellect.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh sorry my bad, and generous and smart Lena, will you please share your cake which you are selfishly choosing not to call ours?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a snort, Lena pinches off some of the cake, shoving it into Kara’s face with a tinkling laugh like wind chimes in a storm. “Did I share enough?” She asks with an impish flutter of her lashes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y-y-you brat!!! Give me that cake,” she cries with laughter, grabbing the remainder of it to stuff into Lena’s mouth. “There you go, it really was </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> cake,” she giggles, sucking the chocolate off her fingers. “Hope you enjoyed it.” She’s up and on her feet a second later, fleeing down to the water and away from Lena’s indignant squawking. Her shoulders tremble with the force of her laughter as Lena chases after her, catching her by the waist as she reaches the shore. Lena lifts her up and she’s squealing, trying to break free. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They fall into the water in a heap of tangled limbs, jabbing awkwardly as they manoeuvre to separate. They sit there to catch their breaths, the water shallow enough and it’s nice. But all it takes is a single glance and they’re bellies quiver and quake as laughter bubbles out of their throats. The pins keeping Kara’s hair in place are no match for the wet strands that come tumbling down. Her make-up smears and runs down her cheeks, and still Lena thinks she’s never seen a prettier sight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> She rubs some of the mascara out of her own eyes, shoving back her own fallen masterpiece. “You really are something else Kara Danvers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stagger to their feet, knocked off balance by the shifting water. Lena manages to keep herself upright, but has the pleasure of watching Kara spit angrily when she takes in a huge gulp of water. “You clown,” she crows delightedly, extending her hand out to Kara, snatching it back after a moment of reconsideration. “I’ll help you if you don’t knock me back in. I can see that little devilish gleam in your eyes and that smirk, so don’t you try anything funny.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Scouts honour, no funny business,” she promises. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dork,” Lena says again as she helps Kara out of the water. They are caked in sand and have seen better days, but none of that matters. This is what she’s been missing all this time, fun. Never had there been a day where Lena had a single hair out of place in public, aware of the constant scrutiny of the press. She had a carefully cultivated image to maintain. Now she could care less if anyone saw her traipsing the grounds of the hotel, nor will she care when photos are sold to the press weeks later of her little adventure. So she’s soaked head to toe, hair plastered to her skin, dress sticking to the contours of her body. Nothing could erase the giant grin stretching her face. And that’s what everyone will comment on… well that and of course one Kara Danvers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that’s not a current worry. She grabs Kara’s hand, dragging her back towards the hotel. She shivers as the breeze wafts off the ocean. While not chilly like Metropolis, she’s compromised and exposed. Kara pulls her close and they stroll silently back to their spot, collecting their plate and fork before heading back to the hotel. They manage to deliver the dish without being seen, sneaking around the thinning crowd of wedding guests. There are some sheepish smiles flashed, a few embarrassed shrugs as they step into the elevator with a few of the others who keep their distance. Luckily there’s no sight of their meddling mothers or Alex. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Though they both suppose Alex has her mind on something that’s not related to either of them. She is a newlywed and her and Sam were quick to escape after the cutting of the cake and the first few rounds of dancing. So it’s possible she hardly noticed them. She knows eventually they will have to explain their disappearing act this weekend and hope Alex understands. But for now, Lena pushes aside thoughts of her best friend, and leads Kara back to her room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They perform their dance, assured of the intimacy of their roles in this pas de deux. The two of them pressed close together, sharing the same breathing space, eyes soft and affectionate as they stumble once again across the invisible line. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena moves with gracefulness, every touch that of a lover, familiar and confident as she peels the dress off Kara. Her fingers steady as they tug the zipper down her back, lips trailing down the column of her spine, as she slides the straps lower until the dress pools at Kara’s feet. Kara trembles from the tease of fingers trickling up her sides and pulls her wet hair to the side. She turns to face Lena, eyes large and luminous in the dark, arms wrapping around her, clutching at the material of her dress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They move as one, deposing Lena of her dress, and transitioning to a flat surface. Their bodies melt into the bed, foreheads pressing together as they just gaze softly at one another. Lena brushes her lips to the tip of Kara’s nose, lips tracing over her freckles, kissing every inch of her face. Lena kisses the corner of Kara’s mouth, lingering as Kara moves her mouth to hers. Lena is helpless to resist the call and she moves closer, hands dipping in careful exploration, soft and light. Fingers dance across silken skin, luminous blue eyes stare back at her as their bodies are pulled flush together, Kara’s lashes fluttering against her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena closes the gap, kissing her, tasting the richness of the chocolate on her mouth. Kara floats dizzily in the darkness and the heat flows through her as Lena deepens the kiss. Wet, blonde hair curls around her fingers, the texture silky and fine. And they drift, surrounded by calm waters. Lena brushes her mouth against the hollow of Kara’s throat- - a touch that sends shivers through her and Kara trembles beneath her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their bodies transition seamlessly as Lena roves open-mouthed kisses down Kara’s chest. A low pitched, ragged moan spills from Kara’s sinful lips as her fingers dig into the sheets. Lena trails back up to Kara’s mouth, swallowing her moans. “Touch me,” Kara pants, “please.” Her lips still sticky with remnants of chocolate cake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena rakes her nails across the soft skin of Kara’s outer thighs, slowly walking them inward, teasing the sensitive skin of her inner thigh. While still strangers in many ways, Lena had learned much about Kara in the last three days, especially with how she enjoys to be touched. Ever so slowly, she slides her fingers into Kara’s wet warmth, avoiding touching Kara’s clit, much to the blonde’s consternation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With firm strokes she enters, her mouth dipping to Kara’s neck, sucking lightly at her pulse point, careful with the pressure after last night. Kara’s nimble fingers splay across her back, lightly caressing. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Lena</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Kara rasps brokenly, her voice a register lower. Her eyes squeeze together and her face contorts with distress. Lena is unable to maintain her current resolve and it fades away as she makes a quick adjustment of the angle of her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara clutches her closer, fingers digging into the lines of her shoulders as her touches grow less tentative and more sure. She quivers beneath Lena, knees shaking and thighs quaking when she finally presses in, finding Kara very ready for her. She sets a slow, steady pace to find her rhythm, Kara’s breath hitches when she goes deeper. It’s slow without any of the quickness of the last few nights. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena pumps shallowly, dragging it out, the hand gripping Kara’s hip dampening with the slickness of her sweat. Her movements grow frantic as she feels the first fluttery pulse. She changes the angle again, thumb grazing her clit with each pass. With the pace set, Kara’s face eases, the tension ebbing away, expression gripped with euphoria. Her hips lift with every strokes of Lena’s fingers, speeding up their rhythm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room is filled with the sounds of their lovemaking, harsh breaths and the slick sliding of bodies in a rush to the finish line. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena buries her face in the juncture of Kara’s neck, her harried breaths piercing the air as she quickens her pace, hitting deeper than before, feeling the gentle tremble of Kara’s body and memorising the beautiful harmony of Kara’s whimpers mixing with her own gasps and sounds. And she feels the urgency building inside of her to show Kara, demonstrate the words hanging on the tip of her tongue, ready to be freed. She keeps them to herself, holding them a little closer and instead keeping her focus her on showing her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tipping downward, she hits her stride, mouth pressing warm kisses to soft skin. And as their movements become more hurried, speeding towards their finale, Kara releases her lip, speaking Lena’s name over and over like a prayer as her body cries out. It rises and rises in her, a sweet melody slowly consuming her until she reaches the inevitable crescendo. With a strangled gasp, she’s shuddering. “Oh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>, ooh—” she yelps, surprise colouring her tone when she squeezes almost painfully around Lena’s fingers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Afterwards in the haze of their love making, Lena curls closer to Kara, nuzzling her shoulder, pressing light sleepy kisses on her bicep. Kara clutches at her, clings to her as if she’s unsure any of this is real. Lena runs a hand down her spine, smoothing out the pockets of tension until Kara purrs softly. Her warm weight relaxes Lena and she settles deeper in Kara’s embrace. Pale beams of moonlight stream through the window landing on Kara and she’s back at the wall. In this lighting, her features lose some of the harshness she’s adopted to protect herself and she’s soft. There are traces of the child she was in the slight roundness of her cheeks, the freckles she proudly wears, and the hope she sees shining when Kara lets her guard down. Her eyes are shut, lashes fluttering against her cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When did you first know you liked me?” She whispers in the dark. Here in this room, they are in a cocoon, protected from reality. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara sighs. Her fingers drift to Lena’s damp hair, lightly playing with the matted ends. “I can’t pinpoint a moment. Before it really was just an innocent crush. You were kinda my ideal woman. I knew it would never happen. You never came back to Midvale and your parents always visited you when I was living with them. I collect snow globes.” At first Lena thinks it’s a non sequitur, brown furrowing until Kara speaks again. “They make them for everything even tropical places. So i made a little Lena globe in my head. I tucked away everything with that globe so I didn’t have to think about you. I never had any real hope of anything. You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lena</span>
  </em>
  <span> and I had to be realistic. But I think I’ve always liked you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena hums sleepily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was probably the day we went to the beach with Alex to celebrate your win at the science fair. Alex was going to leave me at home and you said it was fine. You didn’t mind if I tagged along because the more the merrier, right?” Lena swallows around the lump in her throat as memories of that day surface in her mind. “While Alex went to the boardwalk to get some snacks, you explained to me your project. I didn’t understand any of it… </span>
  <em>
    <span>then.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” She laughs airily, smoothing down Lena’s hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I sort of remember that,” she murmurs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t talk down to me or act is if I couldn’t comprehend it. Most people walked on eggshells around me that first year. But not you, never you. I wasn’t the little orphan kid whose aunt didn’t want her after her parents died.” Lena buries her face in Kara’s neck, brushing delicate kisses. “You helped me make a sandcastle. Not one of those lame ones either, but an elaborate sculpture, even talking Alex into helping us. It was all I had wanted since being adopted— to belong.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Lena knows that feeling. She’d felt it every day in boarding school and those first rough years at MIT before Alex arrived in the city. She was lonely, soaking up every bit of affection, accepting it from anyone who gave her a scrap of attention. She was a little fish suddenly thrust from her small lake into a vast ocean. The adjustment period was long and fraught with her growing anxiety. She never let on how much she struggled to Alex or parents, afraid that if offered she would take the first plane back home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I forgot about that day,” Lena says, swirling patterns on Kara’s abdomen. “Alex and I had worked for so long coming in second the two previous years and it was our last one to enter. I’ve never believed in talking down to anyone and you didn’t strike me as the type of kid to appreciate it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara snorts, “Believe me, I wasn’t. That’s one of the reasons I liked you. You were real with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think the first time you made any impression on me besides that of Alex’s annoying kid siste—ow!” She squeals when Kara pinches her backside. “Like I said annoying. As I was saying, it happened around maybe six or seven months after your adoption. You were climbing a tree even though Alex told you she was in charge. You didn’t care very much for her opinion and choice the big oak tree in your backyard. It reminded me of you in many ways because that species doesn’t grow in Midvale, an anomaly. But you were climbing it and Alex said if you got stuck, she wouldn’t help you down.” At the time, she was gripped with fear at the real possibility that Alex’s sister would get hurt and they would receive the blame. By default, they were in charge together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You yelled down that you would be just fine and you weren’t scared of no heights.” She closes her eyes remembering blonde pigtails swinging wildly, spindly legs like a newborn calf’s propelling their owner further up the tree. “I wasn’t so much scared that you’d get hurt but that we would get in trouble. You didn’t get to the top. Instead you chose one of the higher branches and you scooted to the middle of it. Your eyes were wide as you stared out at the world as if you had never really seen it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“From up there, everything seemed smaller. I felt less small. Moving to Midvale wasn’t exactly what I wanted and I missed San Francisco. But that day— that day…” she sighs softly. “It changed my opinion. What I remember is that as soon as was near the bottom and jumped down, you and Alex were squeezing me so tight I couldn’t breathe. I was so confused because like you totally hated me. So it left me feeling baffled as you guys checked me over for any scrapes or other visible injuries.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lena flicks Kara’s ear. “We were worried for you dummy. Yeah we were scared shitless we would get in trouble, but Alex will tell you herself that it was that day she realised she kinda liked you. As much as she enjoyed being an only child, she couldn’t have asked for a better sister than you.” Something warm slipped through their defences that day and they could no longer retain their frosty disposition towards the younger girl. It was the first time that Alex felt settled with the idea of a sisterhood with Kara. It was still months if not years before she would admit such a thing to her sister, but that day as she stood clutching Lena’s arm, watching with tawny, hawk like eyes as Kara carefully climbed down, something changed for her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara quietly inhales, holding the breath for a few long beats. Lena feels the exhale when she releases it. Without seeing her face, Lena is not sure how to read it. But she somehow knows that Kara is still listening. “Alex was jealous and thought it was badass. She tried climbing that tree a dozen times at your age. Either she was caught by Eliza or she could never get that high. She had an aversion to heights and it freaked her out for a long time, but she was always so determined to climb that damn tree. Eventually she did when we were twelve. Still she found your bold defiance appealing and told me that maybe you weren’t so bad after all if you liked climbing trees.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Really?"</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"She liked you. It was an adjustment for her too. She didn't know how to be a sister much less an older one and you were different than what she expected. You scared her." There's a gravity to her words and their conversation dies as Lena snuggles in closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kara lays there silently, Lena's warm weight draped across her with her slow even breathing, and she stares at the shadowed ceiling thinking of what scares her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And she knows what she has to do. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you all enjoyed this. The next update should be in two weeks, so see you then. I really can't believe there's only 6 chapters left, but here we are. It's going to be a fun journey to the end. </p><p>You can find me on <a href="http://moon-mia.tumblr.com/">
    <em>tumblr</em></a> if you're interested.<br/></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Birthday Niamh, this chapter is for you. Thank you for your friendship and all of your support. </p><p>This might be my last update for a while. I've had a family emergency arise and I'm not sure how much time I'll have for writing in the coming weeks. I'll try my best.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Despair curdles in her stomach and a panicky feeling rises in her chest the longer she lays there, staring at the blank ceiling. Lena rolls away, sheets rustling as she curls into a ball. With sudden clarity, she knows what she has to do. Dread creeps through her veins, travelling to her heart. It feels as if someone is squeezing it, draining the life from her. Choking back a sob, she reaches over to the nightstand, grabbing the notepad and pen resting on top. Her hands scribble of their own accord, translating her feelings into words until she’s empty. </p><p>Lena sleeps peacefully nestled into her, and Kara doesn’t have the courage to wake her. She runs her knuckles over downy cheeks. She traces the strong line of her jaw, cards her fingers through hair splayed across the pillow like spilled ink. And finally brushes her lips to Lena’s forehead. </p><p>Knotting her hands into fists, she slides out of warm sheets. Kara quietly dresses. She’s careful not to disturb her companion. Tears fall softly down her face as she zips her dress and collects her shoes. </p><p>She chances a last glance at the slumbering woman. Her mouth trembles as she holds back a sob; the dull ache in her chest grows as her fingers grasp the handle. She catches the door, slowly inching it shut with an almost silent click, whispering a final goodbye. Taking a deep breath, she straightens her shoulders as she heads for her own room. Once inside, she quickly gathers her belongings, stuffing them inside her suitcase, uncaring of the mess and lack of organisation to her methods. All she needs to do is make sure everything fits. </p><p>Her dress is exchanged for a pair of leggings and a T-shirt. Her bare feet are confined in a pair of tennis shoes, laces double knotted. Her eyes roam over the space, cataloguing all of the empty surfaces. With a nod of her blonde head, Kara sends a lone text, clicking her phone off after it sends.</p><p>There’s a sense of urgency in her movements as she heads out. Her parents will take care of checkout for her, but she has to bolt, has to <em> leave</em>, before anything else happens. She knows if she allowed it, gave into the whispers and the fluttering of her heart when she’s around Lena, she would fall, hard. She would fall in love with Lena and that would be it. She’s not prepared for that reality, not capable of being what Lena needs. She may like Kara. She might enjoy the things they do together. </p><p>But in the end, she’ll be like everyone else. </p><p>Kara would rather leave now than tarnish her memories of this weekend. They were beautiful and it was the closest she had felt to another person in a long time. It wasn’t even the sex either, rather the connection to someone outside of herself. It was a gift, precious and rare, but they were living on borrowed time— deluding themselves into believing it could be something more. </p><p>Never in her wildest imaginings had she considered Lena liking her. She crushed on the older woman and had definitely wondered about her over the years, but Lena was unattainable, a child’s dream. Lena had a world full of options and Kara would be a blip when she returned to Metropolis, easily forgettable in the scheme of things. Lena would find someone upon returning home, build a life and move on. </p><p>Kara swallows her tears, her eyes briefly falling shut as she tries to block out her thoughts. The elevator dings and she scurries out, gingerly sitting in one of the armchairs near the entrance. </p><p>She waits down in the lobby, fidgeting, her body twitchy with nerves, her eyes constantly dart to the lift. The elevator doors slide open and there’s her father. “Dad,” she breathes, relief floods her system as she meets her dad in the middle of the lobby. </p><p>His brows are tightly furrowed as he gives his daughter a once over, searching for injuries or anything to give him insight into Kara’s odd behaviour. Kara is aware she was supposed to remain in town for another day, but she can’t stay here any longer. She needs to go back to Pasadena where things make sense, to a life that’s neat and orderly, predictable in every way, and the chance for unexpected blessings are unlikely. </p><p>At the start of the weekend, there was no chance of her having some tropical romance. Love wasn’t in her plans and then all of those plans were promptly tossed into the ocean the moment she walked into a bar and caught Lena’s eye. Wait… love?</p><p>The word sits heavy in her mind as she silently ruminates over the last few days and what they ultimately mean to her. For so long, she barely understood the word in any context. When she was young and naive, she thought it was unconditional, only to discover that love had limits when she was eight. Love couldn’t save anyone. It didn’t save her parents from dying in an accident and it didn’t prevent her aunt from giving her up. </p><p>It was constantly thrown around as some end all, be all with people constantly misinterpreting what it really meant. Two years ago, Kara was convinced she was in love. She was charmed immediately and wanted to unravel the mystery, later discovering that it was a carefully crafted facade to lure her in. Her ex didn’t want to love her or stand next to her as equals, she wanted to possess her. </p><p>She wanted to control Kara and kept her close at all times, terrified that Kara could and would do better. She saw the rarest rose of all and decided she wanted it for herself, discontent to just appreciating it, she had to pick it to keep others from doing so. Upon the realisation that she was losing her flower, Emily hated the idea of anyone else seeing her rose and did her best to ruin its beauty. </p><p>And over a year ago, the unthinkable happened. </p><p>Emily took something from her that she doesn’t think she can ever get back. She stole her sense of security and her belief that love was worth it. After the accident, Kara became quite paranoid, refusing to leave her apartment, sometimes barely managing to get out of bed. All she had wanted was for someone to love her for who she was without trying to change her or limit her. She wanted someone to see her and be okay with what she was. </p><p>She believed she had found that in her first serious relationship. They were both successful skaters, dedicated to their training and careers, and understood each other in a way others couldn’t. It was supposed to be effortless. Kara kept waiting for that all encompassing love to sweep over her, to make her feel something more than what she did. </p><p>It never came. Even when Emily abruptly ended things at the Olympics, jealous and seething with rage over Kara’s remarkable performance, she was unable to muster the sort of loss she expected to feel. It wasn’t a heartbreak for her. The heartbreak came later when Emily had done what she said she would. </p><p>Snipping her wings was what Emily had called it. Without wings to fly, Kara was no longer a bird soaring high above everyone else. She had lost that which made her special. Really she had given it away, tossed her dreams for fear they would bring more destruction to her life. It was those same dreams that introduced her to Emily. It was easier to let them fall through her fingers like flowing water. She didn’t want them anymore if that was the cost.</p><p>In the aftermath, she made a choice. She was done with loving others and trusting them to love her. The Beatles had it wrong. Love wasn’t all you needed. Sometimes you needed a huge dose of reality to knock you back down to Earth. So, she quit skating, she quit her life, and she quit love.</p><p>Rather than allow their love to bloom, Kara is running. She can’t date or love Lena. She can’t. It would be game over for her. Because the truth is, Lena is different from the rest. When she’s with her, it’s just them. Nothing else matters. Lena sees her more than anyone else ever has and she doesn’t mind what’s there. And that’s scarier than anything, to be with someone who loves you good and bad. It’s too much for her. </p><p>She made a choice.</p><p>Her dad was ultimately the best option for escaping unscathed without her receiving the third degree. She loves her mom and her sisters, cares deeply for Lillian, but she knows they would interrogate the hell out of her if they were aware of her actions. They certainly would refuse to take her anywhere without an explanation and at this point she has none to offer; at least not one that would be satisfactory for all parties including herself. They would rightfully so call her out on allowing fear to dictate her life, and she’s just tired.  </p><p>Jeremiah searches her face and whatever he sees, makes his face soften and his eyes crease with worry. Still he says nothing and ushers her out of the building, keeping his questions to himself, despite the curiosity written all over his face, possessing tact and respecting her privacy unlike the other members of their family. Her dad won’t refuse her request to drive her to the airport when the day has barely started, the sky fading from black to shades of pink and blue. She feels guilt churning angrily in her stomach, the knife in her chest twisting deeper as they pull away from the hotel, leaving Bourbon Street behind them. . </p><p>The drive is silent, almost suffocating the two of them with its’ intensity. His quiet nature is one of the reasons she loves her dad. After her adoption, sometimes they sat out on the porch, neither of them talking while he adjusted his telescope. He was willing to meet her where she was and sometimes talked to her without expecting a response. While she adores her mom, Eliza had a different approach and sometimes came on too strong. Kara loved all the hugs bestowed on her, but hated the questions that followed for which she had no forthcoming response. It was easier with her dad. He didn’t require anything from her. </p><p>Kara stares mindlessly out the window, ignoring her memories of driving over these same roads with Lena unfurl like ribbons in her mind, each moment a shard of glass to the heart. And maybe that’s when she started feeling something beyond a crush, deeper than any basic attraction, feeling a connection to Lena that hadn’t been there in her last relationship. Lena hadn’t factored into any of her plans and yet somehow became integral to the entire success of her weekend; she kept Kara’s mind off her doctoral research, managed to convince her to open up about skating and the longing in her soul to return to the ice. </p><p>In a short span of time, Lena altered her perspective, infected her heart with all of her Lena-ness. She made Kara want things that were not possible- - dreams of a life that were not meant to be. She <em> really </em>liked her, from the gentle curve of her lips, to the delicate slope of her neck, to the way her fingers danced across Kara’s skin, teasing her raised flesh. But most of all she adored her lips— how they fitted against hers. But she also just liked Lena. She had a thoughtful quiet nature, sometimes overlooked and underappreciated in the face of CEO Lena Luthor. </p><p>It all became too real when Lena rolled into her after because Kara hated how much she wanted it— to wake up wrapped around Lena every morning, their limbs tangled and their faces pressed together. It was too intimate, too much too soon, and she was ready for none of it. Her life was still in shambles, waiting for her to pick it back up. </p><p>Before she could be with Lena, she needed to get herself together. She deserved better than someone constantly hiding from who they were. Being with Lena made her realise that it was okay for her to own who she was and is, and that she had nothing to be ashamed of. Love wasn’t meant to be a tragedy, a constant uphill battle with two people constantly tugging in opposite directions. It was a union between individuals choosing each other, but knowing they didn’t need one another for their own happiness. And that’s what she was scared of the most, the idea that she would need Lena. She wanted Lena in her life, but not as a crutch to aid her—as a partner standing beside her. </p><p>For that to come to fruition, she needed to make changes. So much was put on hold and it’s time for her to reclaim herself for her. </p><p>Unable to hurt Lena in person, Kara managed to acquire a seat on a flight to Oahu and a late morning flight back to California to avoid her crestfallen face. Lucy agreed to pick her up from LAX, managing to curb her curiosity when Kara texted an hour after she booked her ticket. It did cost her a bit to change her flights, but she couldn’t stay here any longer now that she’s crossed the line with Lena. It was one thing when they were a one time thing, their actions influenced by the imbibing of spirits, but they had intentionally refrained from drinking too much at the reception, wanting to clear heads for when they inevitably came together again. And there certainly was something that felt inevitable about their coupling. </p><p>Her dad pulls to a stop in front of the airport. It’s a small regional one, but it’ll get her to Honolulu within an hour and that’s all that currently matters. Jeremiah slides out of the driver’s seat, making his way to the back of the vehicle to lift out Kara’s case. He sets it down, closing the hatch, before turning to his youngest daughter with raised brows. </p><p>Rain mists in her hair as she stands there, unsure of what to do next. </p><p>Kara tries to maintain a neutral expression, feeling the guilt flutter anxiously in her belly. She falters under his gaze and nearly turns her head away, but she has to own up to this. She’s making a choice and it might be the wrong one, but it is hers all the same. </p><p>“Do you want to tell me what all of this is about?”</p><p>Kara bites her lip, fingers tapping at her side. “I’ve done something and it’s just it won’t work out. I’ve got to go before I make it worse.</p><p>“What did you do?” </p><p>She shakes her head, tears pooling as she breathes through her nose. “I’ve just gotta go dad. I can’t stay.”</p><p>“This wouldn’t have anything to do with Lena would it?” </p><p>Kara gapes at her father, shocked by his boldness and his insight. Then again, she, her mom, and sister had never given her father much credit for his skills of deduction. He handled all of them with a deft hand, managing teen crises when her mom was away, calming Alex when she came out— convinced their parents would no longer love her— he’s always been there without taking any of the credit. </p><p>“That obvious?”</p><p>“Oh honey,” he says sympathetically, drawing her into a warm hug that feels like home. “Your massive crush on her can be seen from the Andromeda Galaxy.”</p><p>She groans, sniffling loudly as she allows her dad to hold her close. “I really fucked up this time. I can’t seem to stop screwing up and Lena deserves more than what I have to give.” Her voice is raw, plaintive. She pulls back, looking away from her dad, fiddling with the handle to her case. </p><p>“I don’t believe that. My little girl is amazing and loving. Sweetheart, I know this last year and a half has been absolute shit for you, but it’s okay to let yourself be happy. Your mom and I miss you. You haven’t been to the house since you ran to Pasadena. We didn’t take offense because we know you needed time, but you’re going to have to slow down and catch your breath at some point. You’re scared of letting anyone in and that’s because of that <em> bitch,” </em>she startles at the unrestrained anger. Her dad isn’t the type to use coarse language except when her mom can’t hear him. But she’s never heard him direct it at someone else. “Yes, I know all about it. I watched the security tapes and Cat told your mom and I.”</p><p>“Oh,” she dips her head, finding it difficult to meet his gaze. She planned to tell her parents and then she couldn’t. Her family hadn’t liked Emily all that much, but Kara had loved her; or she thought she did. It was easy to get swept up in Emily, consumed with her zest for life and passion for skating. Except they were truly awful together, disagreeing frequently and loudly when Emily started verbally attacking their coach or Kara. Her jealousy got the best of her and she took it out on Kara. “I thought I was protecting you.”</p><p>“I’m your dad. I do the protecting.” Jeremiah tips her head up, cradling her face in his big, protective hands. Kara almost cries. “I think you were protecting yourself. You were worried we would blame you. We don’t and never could. You didn’t ask for any of this to happen to you. Emily did it and that’s something she’ll have to live with forever.”</p><p>“Probably doesn’t even feel the slightest bit guilty,” Kara mutters angrily. </p><p>“Maybe, maybe not, but what she feels about the situation shouldn’t affect you. You’re allowed to move on and be happy. You don’t have to keep punishing yourself. You did nothing wrong.” She chokes back a sob, throat constricting almost painfully as her father’s words sink in. “I don’t know what happened with Lena and it’s not really my place to interfere, but don’t do anything rash. If you need time, take it. Just know that Lena is persistent and I don’t see her as the type of woman to let a good thing go.”</p><p>“Thanks dad.” She goes in for one last hug, burying her face in his neck. The smell of his aftershave hits her nostrils, and she’s a little girl again, reaching for her dad after winning Junior Nationals. “Please wait to tell mom. I have a feeling she’s going to blow up my phone and I really can’t handle her right now. I’d rather be in a different zip code when she finds out.”</p><p>He chuckles, tugging her ponytail. “Deal kiddo, now go on.”</p><p>“I’ll stop by next weekend. I could take another break and I have missed mom’s cooking.” The last time she visited was for Passover and then after, she had an excuse at the ready for when her mom suggested a weekend at home. She felt genuinely terrible blowing her parents off and screening their calls. </p><p>He taps her nose. “That’s my girl. I love you.” He kisses her head and takes a step closer to the car. </p><p>“Love you too dad.” She waves, feet carrying her forward, away from him and to the entrance where the doors slide right open for her. Refusing to look back, afraid she might change her mind, Kara keeps her graze straight ahead and approaches the little kiosk to print out her ticket. </p><p>It’s time for her to go home. Yet as the plane jets off, her gaze remains fixed on the window, watching as the world flickers out of view. And she knows none of  it will fade like the credits at the end of a movie, but she can hope. Because there’s no going back now.</p><hr/><p>There’s a hollow feeling residing in her chest when she wakes up… <em> alone. </em>As she looks around, she comes to the slow realisation that there are no traces of Kara in her room and the sheets are cold. A feeling of emptiness creeps into the cracks of her heart as it fully hits her that Kara is gone. She briefly considers possible reasons for this before outright dismissing all of them. She understands exactly what has happened. Kara has left.</p><p>Turning over, she hears the crinkle of paper and finds a note addressed to her. Lena cries when she reads the words Kara wrote, finding some of them smudged by tears, maybe her own. In the end, none of it really matters. Kara has gone. Lena has no chance of catching up to her, and she’s unsure of what she would say if she did. This was a choice; Kara was finally exerting some control over her life. And yeah Lena wishes she had at least talked to her before pulling a disappearing act, but Lena thinks she understands Kara’s reasoning. She was trying to do her a kindness by sparing Lena from herself. Though none of that makes her feel better.</p><p>Pulling the sheets closer to keep warm in the over air conditioned room, her eyes sweep over the letter again. </p><p>Running through the events of last night, she lingers on those awkward moments where Kara seemed to pause like a scene in a movie before she regained her footing. When Lena tried to switch up the conversation, bringing focus to whatever was brewing between them, Kara avoided it by changing the topic. As soon as she mentioned a much more serious talk about the future, she brought up the forgotten cake and that became its’ own distraction. </p><p>The sex between them was different too. While certainly more intimate, it felt almost bittersweet like Kara was saying goodbye without words. The kisses were deeper, more drawn out, tinged with something akin to sorrow, but she hadn’t seen it then, caught up in the moment. </p><p>But maybe that’s all it had been for Kara. A chance to live out her childhood crush and go back to her life as if none of it happened, uncaring of the destruction she left in her wake. Lena almost convinces herself that it’s exactly what Kara had done until she remembers the crinkled note in her hand— the one stained with tears. </p><p>Her arms circle around her legs and she pulls them closer, burying her face as her shoulders begin to shake. A cry tries to claw its way out of her throat, catching a few times before a ragged sob, broken and raw, spills from her lips. Tears blur her vision and she needs a moment to be with herself. She’s been ghosted by someone she genuinely cared about just when she was on the precipice of exploring their shared connection. She wonders if Kara fled because of that. </p><p>Years of wearing a mask in public has taught Lena that anything can be concealed by a smile and bright eyes. She recognised Kara’s almost immediately, the hesitant smile and the eyes that held a thousand emotions before something flickered across her face and washed it all away like water on a beach. All she could do was search her face for what Kara tried to hide, but there was something troubled in her eyes, a storm brewing behind the clouds. </p><p>And she thinks Kara's flight had nothing to do with her and everything to do with Kara. The final moments before she drifted off last night play over and over like a broken record. She pauses a few times, notes every layered component of Kara’s voice, her deft avoidance to discuss tomorrow, and the flickering distance in her eyes. </p><p>Kara fell back on her old habit of running away. Everyone in her life has left her to it in the past, cautious with their words, handling her like she’s something fragile when she’s one of the strongest people Lena’s ever met. While life has thrown her some curveballs and watched as she either struck out or hit a home run, Kara kept going. She looked forward to a new tomorrow. </p><p>Leaning back in bed, a plan starts to formulate as she reaches for her phone and finds a glass and some aspirin sitting there. And she knows for sure what she’s going to do because that’s the sign of someone who cares. The runner routine is a diversion, one meant to convince Lena to leave memories of Kara behind. But Lena is tired too. She’s drained from the last few years and from people deciding her life for her. </p><p>Kara has tried to roll the credits too soon with her disappearing act, but Lena sees it all very clearly as if it were playing on a screen and this isn’t the end. </p><p> </p><p>She sits near the edge, feet buried in the warming sand, watching as the sea hugs the land. Warm honey and rose light bathes the beach and there’s something magical about this hour of serenity. It’s been a long time since she had the opportunity to sit and listen to the gentle swell of the morning tide. </p><p>A figure plops down beside her. “So my sister?” Alex asks, forgoing all greetings, and jumping right in to address the elephant in the room.</p><p>“Yeah,” she says with a wistful edge to her voice. Her feelings for the blonde are complicated, further compacted by her disappearance in the middle of the night. The plummeting feeling returns when she raises her eyes to Alex.. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. I know how you can get about her.” </p><p>Alex snorts, bumping her shoulder against Lena’s. “Sometimes you’re such an idiot. Why do you think I wanted you to meet her?” She pinches the bridge of her nose with an exasperated shake of her head. “You would be amazing together. Not as good as me and Sam but close.” She smirks, lifting her shoulders into a half-shrug.</p><p>“<em> Hey! </em>”</p><p>“You could have told me you know. I’m all for your happiness and hers.”</p><p>“I— you were so busy and stressed with all the wedding business. I already felt horrible about skipping out on my responsibilities as your maid of honour. I didn’t want you to know that I jumped into bed with your sister.”</p><p>“I love you. And I love her. But for the love of god, never mention the two of you and bed in the same sentence again.” Alex physically gags on the words. There’s a green sheen to her face like she’s seconds away from puking. Lena relishes in it after all those times with Alex and Sam making heart and bedroom eyes at each other in her presence. It was sickening how many times she had to break it up, inserting herself between them just so she didn’t have to see it. </p><p>“You’re both idiots if you think I didn’t notice all the covert glances, secret touches, and before Sam stole my phone, I saw a lot of traction on a now infamous Instagram photo.”</p><p>“Oh,” Lena says thickly, “you saw that?” Were they really that obvious? She thought they were being quite covert, subtle with their affection and growing connection. Yet it seems as if everyone knew anyway, saw what they were trying to hide. She stares at Alex with renewed fear. She hates the idea that her best friend could be mad at her for keeping it a secret and thinking of it only increases her own churning guilt. Alex’s eyes are clouded, revealing nothing, guarded against Lena. She looks away.</p><p>“I don’t mind if you date her or she dates you,” Alex says after a few beats of silence. She nudges Lena, their shoulders bumping and she shivers at the touch of warm skin. “Then you’d really be my sister, not that you weren’t already.” </p><p>Lena wiggles her toes, digging her feet deeper into the sand as she considers Alex’s words. Everyone around them has faith in their ability to have a relationship… everyone except Kara. It was becoming clear she lacked belief in their long-term future and she left before anything on the matter could be said. “You think we’d get married?” She ducks her head, hating her own vulnerability. Although, it should be a point in her favour that there have been no tears since she woke up yesterday. It hurts like rocks being piled on her chest, but it could be worse. Going through with her plan would mean that she was opening herself to all of the possibilities that come with a relationship including loss.</p><p>“My sister drew your name in hearts on everything when she was a kid. Sometimes she would write Mrs. Lena Luthor. Trust me, you’re getting married.” Alex trails her fingers through the sand, drawing tiny hearts with the initials KD+LK inside. </p><p>“I was nervous. It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to pursue anything and it’s <em> your </em>sister. What if we broke up? Would you feel compelled to take sides? I would lose my best friend.” She half expects Alex to confirm her worst fears. Lena wouldn’t begrudge her if she did. Family was complicated and not always ideal, but Alex was raised in a close knit family. They meant the world to her and Lena could never compete with that, nor would she try. Hurting her best friend was never what she wanted. So if it went sour, she would step aside if it meant preserving Alex’s relationship with her sister. </p><p>Alex reaches over and cuffs Lena on the back of the head. “Absolute idiot. I wouldn’t choose. You’re both my sisters. If you’re trying to get out of this friendship Lena, you should’ve done that before we did that blood oath when we were eleven.” The words are said cavalierly and with so much earnestness, it’s disorienting. Her thumb runs over the white scar on her ring fingers, a forever reminder that what they shared was permanent. </p><p>Reaching back to rub the tender spot with her other hand, Lena shoots Alex an irritated glare. “You’re a little feisty and mean today.”</p><p>“Well I can’t knock some sense into my sister. The little shit flew home. Don’t worry I’ll get her back after the move. I know where she lives. She didn’t even say goodbye to me, her <em> sister </em>. I mean the rudeness of it all. She had my dad drive her. Like what is that?”</p><p>“You’re just mad because your dad won’t spill the tea.”</p><p>“You’re right.”</p><p>“I didn’t even notice her slip out of bed,” she admits sullenly. She thinks if she had, she might have been able to get Kara to talk to her, to explain what was happening in her head. All she wanted was to talk. She thought they were on the same page. </p><p>Alex grimaces and runs her knuckles down Lena’s arm. “You really care about her?”</p><p>“Yeah, I do.”</p><p>“Good. I don’t want to have to kick your ass in the future or hers.”</p><p>Lena rolls her eyes. “I still can’t believe you knew.”</p><p>“Want to know a secret?” She bobs her head. “I was getting a replacement key your first night and uh… oh god I’d rather forget you shoving your tongue down my baby sister’s throat.”</p><p>“You’ve known since Thursday night?” </p><p>“I wanted to bleach my eyes.”</p><p>“Wait… wait so you knew at that brunch and the <em> beach </em>?” She tries to hide her disbelief, but it’s Alex. This is the same best friend who took forever to realise that there was a difference between appreciating a girl’s appearance and whatever it was she was doing with her eyes. So the notion that she saw it all happening in real time brings with it a resurgence of guilt for not coming out with it in the beginning. It sits in her stomach, heavy and unmovable. She’s not sure if she should apologise. </p><p>Alex notices her hesitation and squeezes her shoulder, offering some reassurance. “I’ve known you since we were five. I was there when you bombed in front Lyra Michaels in eighth grade.”</p><p>Lena punches her in the boob. “I didn’t bomb,” she protests. “I was charming.” Sure it was slightly uncomfortable for all parties involved, but she likes to think of it as more of a growing experience. At the time, she had never flirted with anyone and all of her crushes were kept secret. She was trying to be confident and she had to strike while the iron was hot. It failed to occur to her that she had no real plan once she got Lyra’s attention. </p><p>“Oh right, you actually sank like the Titanic. Like hit the iceberg, kept going and then completely just went sploosh right into the Atlantic.” Alex mimics the sinking of a ship with her hands; Lena resists the urge to hit her. With all of their distance, she had forgotten how annoying her best friend was. She’s never quite reached Lex’s levels of irritation, but she’s come very close to it. A small part of her will forever be endeared, not that she’ll ever tell Alex. With their shared history comes all of these feelings and memories that add weight to all of their interactions. Alex is as much a part of her as her own family, almost like a second arm. </p><p>“You’re the fucking worst. Why are we friends? You’re misremembering events.”</p><p>“As if! You choked. You were like ‘<em> oh Lyra, your handsprings are so good and your cheers are the peppiest’. </em>It was hilarious watching you humiliate yourself like that,” she snorts, her shoulders quaking. “By the way, she was a total bitch. You dodged a real bullet there. She was all Queen Bee and shit in high school, and I’m the captain of the cheerleading squad as if that was supposed to mean something. Honestly she wasn’t that smart either. She didn’t even know that there were fifty states and thought the war where we broke away from England was the Civil War.”</p><p>“Okay so history wasn’t her subject.” </p><p>“She was a few french fries short of a happy meal. We were in math class and she couldn’t even figure out that an hour is broken into four quarters of fifteen. She was like to get an hour downtown for parking, it was four quarters in the meter and that didn’t make any sense. She was like a quarter only gets you fifteen minutes and then did the math and was like that’s not an hour.”</p><p>“So she wasn’t exactly the next Newton or Einstein. I just thought she was pretty.” It was a basic case of attraction. Lyra was blonde, blue-eyed, and bubbly, the very opposite of Lena. Huh… perhaps she has a type after all.</p><p>“Which is why you st-st-stuttered every time you were around her.”</p><p>“Asshole,” Lena snipes, her tone lacking any real bite. </p><p>“Bitch!”</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>“Love you too.”</p><p>And they sit there silently, watching the undulating waves ripple towards them, the water shifting from dark to light as the sun lifts higher beyond the horizon line. It’s a calm morning, none of the frantic energy from the previous days carrying over. Despite the ache in her heart, all Lena feels in this moment is peace. </p><p>With a glance at Alex, she thinks she must feel it too. Her eyes are closed and she’s leaning back on her arms. Her sunglasses are pushed back, keeping the shorter strands out of her face. It’s nice to share this together. Much of her weekend was consumed by a different Danvers, and she barely spent time with the one she came here for in the first place. Lena covers Alex’s hand with her own, feeling the grains of sand caught in their hold, and finds not even that could ruin this moment for her. </p><p>“I really do like your sister.” </p><p>Lena had to say it, disliking the idea of her best friend thinking of her as some type of cad. What transpired this weekend was unlike anything she’s had in the past and there’s very little chance she’ll have it again in the future. But she wants Alex to understand that her feelings were real, Kara meant something to her. </p><p>“She’s a klutz. Like yeah girl can skate circles around anyone and is so graceful on the ice, but geez she’s so clumsy and uncoordinated. I scared her by honking the car horn and she was carrying the milk inside. She threw it right through the window.” </p><p>“She did not!!” Lena laughs, recognising exactly what Alex is doing for her. </p><p>“She really did. There’s also the pillow incident where she broke the cover for the ceiling fan light. Ooh one time, she was all like ‘you’re no fresh chicken Alex’ multiple times, might I add. We were all like what are you talking about. Then my dad is like ‘honey, do you mean spring chicken?’ And her eyes are all wide and she’s like ‘yeah that’s it’. I’m just saying she can be a little uh Kara. If you really do like her, I don’t understand.. But seriously let the little shit be all mopey and sing along with her sad musicals.”</p><p>“Her what?”</p><p>“When she’s sad, she watches her favourite sad musicals like<em> Moulin Rouge </em>. Lucy says that she seems okay, hasn’t really left her room at all, but she’s been on the phone with someone and she did spend some time on the couch with her sad ice cream.”</p><p>“You’re okay with that?”</p><p>“She hurt you. Most of all, she hurt herself. No one hurts Kara quite like she hurts herself.” The words are choked, loaded with emotion as Alex brushes her arm over her eyes. “My sister… sh-she’s good at carrying everything around. My dad told us once that sometimes you had to release it because one day you’d explode. I didn’t know she’d really taken his words to heart until I followed her once and she just screamed into the void.”  </p><p>Alex refuses to look at Lena as she divulges her sister’s private affairs. “She hides behind her pain and her work. It’s easy to see what’s on the surface. But Lena,” she says, turning to face her with serious eyes and a solemn expression. “If you pursue her, make sure it’s really what you want. She doesn’t need someone who only wants her for a time and then leaves her when there’s something better. And you deserve happiness too after all the drama with Andrea. It hurt like hell watching you stay in that relationship and knowing that it wasn’t right.  I don’t want you to be with anyone you’re not sure about.”</p><p>“I-- thanks Alex,” she says. </p><p>“You both have been hurt, and I just want you happy in whatever form that takes or with whoever.”</p><p>“Her aunt…”</p><p>Alex’s eyes widen, and she seems to know what Lena is alluding to. “Astra fucked up my sister. She loves her. She does, but Kara never fully forgave her for leaving. She knows her biological family. There are several of them still alive even in Kasnia and none of them offered to take her when her parents died.”</p><p>The pieces slowly start to connect, forming the larger puzzle that is Kara. Lena understood the bits about the ex, decimated dreams, and the closing herself off to everyone to deal with it alone. But it never fully registered why Kara chose to do it on her own until she had the proper context to fill in the missing blanks. Her past history taught her that the people who were supposed to care for you weren’t the most reliable. </p><p>She’s brought out of her spiralling thoughts when the morning tide rushes up the packed earth, bathing her feet in a cold splash. Lena gasps when the water hits, pulling her feet back with a choked laugh. Alex snickers beside her, toes wiggling in the damp sand. Lena blinks slowly at her before she pushes her back into the sand with a triumphant grin. “Asshole,” she crows. </p><p>A roll of the eyes and another shove later, Lena is sprawled out beside Alex in the warming sand. She shifts as the grains dig uncomfortably. “I’ve missed this and you,” Lena says as her fuzzy thoughts begin to settle. “I’m sorry we didn’t have a lot of time together this weekend..</p><p>Alex turns her head, hair dragging through the sand, there’s a grave a look to her fertile eyes. “Oh Lena,” she sighs, “I’m just happy you came. I-I thought you might say you were busy when I told you the date. Even the days before your arrival, I was worried something would get in the way. But you came through just like you always do. So we didn’t spend time together this weekend, we’ve got the rest of our lives. I may be married now but you’re still my other half.”</p><p>“I am?” </p><p>“I didn’t put up with you for twenty-one years to cut my losses now.”</p><p>“How kind,” Lena says dryly. “Really what every girl loves to hear.”</p><p>Alex flicks some sand in her direction and Lena squeals as she lifts her hands to cover her face. “Why are we friends again?” She asks when Alex stops trying to lob sand at her. </p><p>“Because you lur-ve me.”</p><p>Lena licks her lips, turning to face Alex as she solemnly says, “I’m questioning myself now.” The corners of her mouth twitch and when she catches Alex’s quivering lips, she’s filled with a surge of fondness for this woman who has managed to stick with her for over two decades. A smile curls onto her face, one she doesn’t even try to suppress. Alex is here with her when she’s just gotten married and should be basking in all things newlywed. </p><p>But she’s not with Sam. </p><p>She’s comforting Lena and something about that makes her want to pocket this moment forever. It feels good and fills her with a soft warmth. Lena leaves her cosy spot, and slides across the space between them, her hair sweeping the ground and collecting sand particles. Lena lays her head on Alex’s shoulder, brushing a kiss to her cheek. “You know you’re totally paying for my next hair appointment.”</p><p>Alex snorts. “Yes, that makes so much sense. Me, fresh out of med school about to start a gruelling residency paying for a literal billionaire’s hair appointment. Remind me, how much do you pay? Five hundred? A thousand?” She ruffles Lena’s hair, nails lightly scratching her scalp. </p><p>“Very funny,” Lena says. </p><p>“I thought so.”</p><p>“This is nice,” she murmurs, snuggling closer. “But it can’t be nicer than in bed with your wife.” Lena blinks, startled by her own words. Alex is actually married with a wife and kid. “Wow, you’re someone’s wife.”</p><p>Alex pecks her forehead. “Yeah, I’m married,” she says with a dreamlike quality to her voice. “But you’ll still be one of the most important people to me. Nothing will change that.”</p><p>“Yeah… I know.” They chose each other a long time ago when they were too young to know what they were doing but old enough to recognise their own kind. </p><p>They drift into a steady silence and listen to the rolling lull of the ocean, the sounds of birds overhead, the ding of a bell as the world wakes up around them. It’s the longest they’ve been together without anyone else around in months if not years. </p><p>Somewhere between the first hello and their nap time revolution, she was struck with an indescribable adoration and the knowledge that their friendship was going to last. </p><p>“The other reason I knew about you and my sister,” Alex laughs with a shake of her head. “You’ll learn that her music reflects how she’s feeling. She was listening to this song <em> Guilty </em> on Spotify. It’s this song all about this couple not feeling guilty for their love. It didn’t take a whole lot of brain cells, especially when her other song choices have been <em> Can’t Take My Eyes Off You, Neutron Star Collision, </em> and <em> Friday I’m In Love.” </em> </p><p>There’s a wry twist to her lips as she runs her fingers through the sand. “Music is her language. It’s how she tells a story and engages with the world.”</p><p>Lena imagines the sort of songs scattered in Kara’s most recently played list. They’re the type that moves into the ache, burrowing deeper until all that’s left is agony and sadness. The desire to punish can be overwhelming, especially when you just want to hurt and wear your sins like a scarlet letter. </p><p>They settle comfortably with Lena shifting so her head rests on Alex’s stomach, just taking comfort in the presence of the other. Lena closes her eyes and enjoys the moment. The sun warms her skin and the ocean plays a beautiful melody and she’s content. Her mind drifts and she’s thinking of Kara once more. </p><p>Her lips curl into a devious smirk as she cracks an eye open as she blinks blearily at the bright sky and the double suns. The golden rose of morning has faded as white fluffy clouds shift overhead. She shakes her head, rubbing at her eyes. “So your prurient mind really doesn’t want to know all the wa—“ the rest of her words are muffled by Alex’s hand. </p><p>The change of light illuminates all of Alex’s features, not that the warm light does much to soften her expression. Her tawny eyes glitter fiercely like pieces of amber as she glares at Lena. “Please, I just ate breakfast and she’s my sister, you dirty-minded pervert.”</p><p>“She’s 22,” Lena counters.   </p><p>Alex huffs. </p><p>“She came onto—“</p><p>“La la la lalala la,” Alex sings, jabbing her fingers into her ears. “I can’t hear you.”  </p><p>“You’re a child,” Lena proclaims. “What happened between us was perfectly natural and <em> legal. </em>” </p><p>“And you’re robbing the cradle, but you don’t see me calling you out for it.”</p><p>Lena lifts her head and stares incredulously at Alex. “You’re kidding, right?” </p><p>“I’m not.”</p><p>“I’m not,” Lena mimics. “Bullshit! You just did. She’s only four years younger, hardly robbing the cradle.”</p><p>“She’s my baby sister. It’s a lot to wrap the mind around.”</p><p>“Uh, you literally just went on about how you’ve been trying to set us up.”</p><p>“Well yeah… but it’s— it’s totally different imagining something and that thing happening in real life. Like I’m happy for you guys, truly am, but also I will hit you if you ever mention sex, beds, yourself, and my sister in the same sentence. I got enough of an eyeful Thursday and that—” Alex chokes, retching sounds escape her throat. </p><p>Lena slowly applauds her. “And the winner for best dramatic performance goes to Alex Danvers.” Having known Alex as long as she has, she’s grown accustomed to her display of histrionics. She’s learned to mostly ignore it instead of giving Alex the attention she wants. </p><p>“Oh put a cork in it Luthor,” Alex says, staring determinedly at the cresting waves and not her. </p><p>She sighs. </p><p>“Alex, I promise I won’t mention it again. That’s not fair to you or her. I would never want to put you in an uncomfortable position.” Alex quirks a brow. “Okay, I would never want to put you in a situation where you have to hear about your sister like <em> that </em>,” Lena amends. “But you’ve seriously gotta lighten up a little. I’m only joking. We both know I don’t kiss and tell.”</p><p>Though she intended to add some levity, she can see the thoughts swimming in Alex’s eyes. “You actually like her. Like not just a casual fling, but in a you want to date her kind of way.” </p><p>It takes Lena a moment to register what Alex said and to come up with a response. Her soft ‘yes’ seems to confirm something. </p><p>She swipes a hand over her eyes and follows Alex’s gaze to the glimmering sea. The ocean brings back memories of Midvale, watching the choppy grey waters in winter and smooth blue arcs of summer. All her childhood memories are touched by the scent of brine and the sun and her heart glows with remembrance. The wind whispers and whistles in her ear, carrying messages and songs from distant lands. She whispers back, smiling as she hears Alex do the same. It was something they started as children after an old neighbour told them a story about the wind and they wanted their hopes and dreams to carry to far-off places. </p><p>“I’ve never done that with anyone else,” Alex says, letting out a shaky little laugh. “It’s just a you and me thing.”</p><p>Lena folds her hand together, nodding at her with a smile of her own. “Neither have I.” It was their thing and it never felt right to share it with someone else. “Only you.”</p><p>An indistinct sound somewhere between a chuckle and sob pushes past Alex’s lips. Lena scoots closer, displacing and dumping sand everywhere. Alex waves her off when she tries to hug her. She watches her with shining dark eyes, the colour reminding Lena of melted chocolate. Undeterred Lena pushes forward, sliding her hand over Alex’s. With some hesitance, Alex flips her palm over, pressing it to hers. </p><p>She inhales, a slow, deep breath, before raggedly exhaling. When she speaks there’s a wet quality to her voice. “You don’t know how hard it’s been watching you these last few years. I could see you were in this rut—stuck, but when I tried to help, you didn’t want it.” Her shoulders rise incrementally, every time her lungs expand with a breath. “You’ve torn yourself apart and anything that wasn’t work was pushed aside.”</p><p>“I realised that you can’t really help someone who doesn’t want it. You have to want the change for yourself, so I just tried to be there for you instead. I—I didn’t want you to be alone.”</p><p>Trembling with the strain of holding back her tears, Lena tightens her grip around Alex. “I’ve come to the same conclusion myself,” she admits softly. “Thank you for being there when it wasn’t easy. I was so caught up in this idea of who I should be and what I should be doing, miserable over what I didn’t have, and it was like I was watching everything happen to me.” She thinks of Kara and how she allowed the numbness to crawl into her life until it consumed her. </p><p>“I went through the motions a lot. It didn’t occur to me that I had the option to change the direction I was heading. I was on this track going full speed ahead until I realised I could hit the breaks. I didn’t want to be miserable anymore and then I came here, met someone who lit up my life. It sounds really cheesy like something out of a romcom.” She feels a corner of her mouth lift up. “Kara breathed life back into me. Like you said, all I’ve had time for is work. I was just so… so tired when I got here. It wasn’t until—“</p><p>“My sister,” Alex finishes for her. “She does that. I think you’ve brought the colour back to hers. She was so different at the wedding. She was playful and silly. I had my sister back for the first time since that accident.” Lena’s chin quivers with emotion, a few tears slide down her face. “So if any of that was you… well, thanks.”</p><p>“I thought you’d be angry with me for having se — for uh being with her.”</p><p>Alex hums quietly, seeming to understand the silent question. “I was a little irritated when I saw what I saw, but then I talked to Sam—“</p><p>“Sam KNEW?!!” Lena thought it was the awkward brunch that had things clicking like a camera for her friend. Sam made no mention of knowing the details of her first night with Kara. “I should’ve seen that coming. She was very much on my case about it. Like it barely took her any time to figure it out and it turns out you already had told her..”</p><p>“Well duh, she was my fiancée. I needed someone to talk to about it and lord knows I wasn’t going to tell my mom.”</p><p>“My mom did that for you. She also saw us and then our moms ran into me and Kara after we went to lunch. They just had this <em> look </em>. It was very knowing and annoying. There were a lot of winks and hints and I wanted the earth to swallow me whole. Especially after my mom talked about Netflix and chill.”</p><p>“Ooh,” Alex giggles. Her eyes filled with mirth flicker away as she dissolved into laughter. </p><p>“Aw, you know about <em> that?” </em> </p><p>“Kara called me afterward. She kept squeaking and rambling and eventually I put it all together.”</p><p>“Ugh, kill me now.”</p><p>Alex pats Lena’s head, her fingers slide into her tangled hair. “It’s okay. At least you never witnessed it. Kara can’t even look at your parents together without wanting to leave the room.”</p><p>Her fingers continue to card through her locks and Lena sighs, leaning her head onto Alex’s shoulder. “Y’know I’m going to go see her, right?”</p><p>“I’d shove you onto a plane if you didn’t. You do realise you’re in love with my sister, yes?” </p><p>Lena rears back, surprise overtaking her features. Drawing her eyebrows together, she frowns. “No I’m not.”</p><p>Alex smiles, shrugging, “You really are. It’s cool.” </p><p>“But I’m not. I can’t be. It’s only been like four days.”</p><p>“And?”</p><p>Lena does her best not to react to Alex’s blasé attitude. She would know if she were in love. With a furtive glance at Alex, she feels the butterflies fluttering again, warmth spreading through her. It’s been so long since she felt exhilaration like this, growing comfortable in the monotony of her days, rarely seeking change of any kind. Nothing in her life brought her excitement like the thought of Kara does. All she has to do is think of her and she’s smiling. It’s all natural and different from her past relationships. And she wonders if this really is what love was supposed to feel like all along? </p><p>With her exes, it always felt like a struggle. There were obstacles constantly in their path, hurdles they had to jump, and it never seemed like they would get there. She was never satisfied and neither were they. She kept feeling as if something were missing and she needed more but never could determine what that more was. It wasn’t until she learned to be okay with who she was and where she was at in life that she stopped looking for someone to give her life meaning-- to make it worth living. She wanted someone to consume her because wasn’t that love?</p><p>But she thinks of Kara. It was quiet and comforting. She didn’t demand anything from Lena, at least nothing Lena wasn’t prepared to offer. She lost herself in Kara, not in the sense that she lost her identity, but when they were together, all she thought of was her. It felt right when her whole dating past felt wrong. She had cared for them and they her, it just never seemed enough. </p><p>And then her mind comes back to a decision she’s already made. While not knowing each other for very long, could she just let her go? With certainty, she knows if she doesn’t try, she would regret it forever. Her successes and degrees whilst exemplary and prestigious are hollow without someone to share them with. Before Kara, her job was the most important aspect of her day to day life. She had to prove herself to everyone that she was just as good if not better than her brother, and now with the company having higher returns than ever, she has. But it’s not enough to soothe the ache for more. For the first time in her life, she wants to risk it all. Because she knows this would be greater than any award, report card, or quarterly report. </p><p>“I guess I do,” she says. </p><p>Alex’s eyes crinkle with amusement. “Hell yeah, you do. You both have good taste. Now c’mon, you owe me an ice cream or some kind of food because I could be loc—mmph.” </p><p>“You’re nearly as bad as your sister. Seriously where do you guys put it all?” Lena shakes her head, fondness shading her eyes. She stretches her legs, heels pushing through the warm sand before she attempts to stand. With a groan, she pushes herself up and is on her feet. She dusts her hands and brushes the sand off her shorts. </p><p>“Help an old gal up, would you?”</p><p>Laughing brightly, she tugs on Alex until she’s up. “You do remember that you’re like six months older than me?”</p><p>“Semantics,” Alex says, dismissively. “Now I was promised some food. So let’s go.” She leans down to pluck her sandals from the ground and when she rights herself, takes Lena’s preferred hand, twining their fingers. “I’ll let you regale me with your weekend as long as you tell me the sanitised version. I will fight you if you get all gross on me.”</p><p>Swinging their arms as they make their way back up the beach, Lena begins her tale. “Well, it started with a really shitty workday and the flight from hell…”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You can find me on <a href="http://moon-mia.tumblr.com/">
    <em>tumblr</em></a> if you're interested.<br/></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you everyone for the well wishes. I'll have to travel soon to visit my grandfather. He's in his 80s and the diagnosis isn't good. </p><p>Anyway, I had some time, so I thought why not. I hope you enjoy since you guys bring me so much joy with all of your wonderful comments.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A burst of sunlight pours through the window, and Kara blinks rapidly at the sudden illumination. She rolls over and groans, the sound muffled by her pillow. She lays there for a moment, her face completely buried. It’s been two days since— what Lucy has dubbed <em> the flight</em>. Her phone has remained mostly turned off, and she’s had to screen her calls. </p><p>Alex has sent numerous texts, though she hasn’t been brave enough to actually open them. Her finger hovers over Messages and she chews on her lip before ultimately locking her phone. She’s tried. But she can’t do it. Something stops her. </p><p>Her mom skipped the texts altogether and went straight to bombarding her phone with call after call. Her voicemail is full and she thought it would deter her mom. However, it seems that her mom has discovered how to call using other apps like Snapchat. So for now, the device is off and tucked away in her nightstand. </p><p>Fleeing was the best option at the time. She had to put herself first and no one else was going to do it for her. Everything was building up inside her like a crescendo and it kept rising and rising. </p><p>A few tears slip and then a few more. And then she’s gasping-sobbing, wondering where everything had gone wrong. Feelings were funny like that. The issues she kept pushing aside, tucking away for a later date, they had a way of coming back at the worst times. It was all simmering beneath the surface like an active volcano. So many times she had come close to erupting, only for everything to cool down again. </p><p>This weekend had proven one thing. She was never really in control. It was an illusion, constructed out of her need to be fine. Everyone kept bombarding her after every little tragic incident of her life. They wanted to know how she was feeling. They kept pressing and pressing at her, their eyes beseeching, begging her to tell them. But back then, she didn’t have the words for what she was feeling. Her eyes stung with her unshed tears as she clenched her jaw and knitted her fists. She learned to tell people what she thought they wanted to hear to the point where it was almost convincing to her. </p><p>Eventually, they began to back off. Her aunt stopped asking how she was and then her aunt was packing her things, selling the rest of her belongings and her family home. She knelt before Kara, tucking loose strands of hair behind her ears. Her smile was earnest and so were her words, but it was that moment that cemented her belief that people who loved you could choose to leave. </p><p>There was nothing she could do to keep someone determined to go. Astra sent cards and made the occasional phone call, sometimes popped up suddenly in the city to take her out for an afternoon. When Kara was nine, it was easier to fake it. She was genuinely excited to spend the day with her aunt spoiling her. Maybe her aunt would take her back if she showed her how good she could be. </p><p>It never happened. </p><p>Astra would take her to fancy restaurants, the movies, the zoo— wherever Kara’s heart desired—but she never took her away with her when she left. </p><p>Instead, she would take Kara back to Midvale and gently explain once more why Kara had to stay with the Danvers. Sometimes it involved Jeremiah having to help Astra remove Kara from the car. She would stubbornly refuse to unbuckle in the fervent hope that her aunt would finally give in to her wishes. Her arms were tightly crossed over her chest as she screwed her face into a scowl and stayed where she was. It never worked and sometimes it was even longer before Astra came back. </p><p>Later on she learned that some people were flaky. They could love you. But it wasn’t enough. It could never be. </p><p>It was one of her first lessons about growing up. Some people weren’t dependable, no matter how much you wanted them to be. Astra really was the aunt that appeared in and out of her life without any care for some type of permanence. She hadn’t wanted the responsibility of a child. And while some would praise her for finding Kara a home with parents and a sister, Kara found a third person to hate. </p><p>Astra was the third. But the first and second were her parents. She kept that to herself. No one would understand how she could hate them. Some days she barely understood. Her emotions were a torrent storm, constantly moving so fast and so strong that processing them was near impossible. They fluctuated like the tides. Other days she missed them so much, she was certain the ache of longing would never disappear— that she would die from the intensity of her pain. </p><p>The ache remained despite her best efforts. It didn’t grow. It was constant and Kara learned to coexist with it. She did her best to contain it because she couldn’t allow herself to feel it. To feel it… it meant… well she just couldn’t. Hate was often easier to wield. If she could hate her parents then she didn’t have to think about them. </p><p>Her feelings weren’t logical. She knew that. Applying logic to something intangible hadn’t resulted in a perfect solution. It wasn’t like when she was in class and x+y always equaled z. The days when she failed to conjure hate, she was crippled with overwhelming love for her parents, for her aunt, and she hated it. Hate was rarely hate. It usually hid something much deeper. </p><p>In truth, her hate had been surviving as her pain. Whenever it started nearing the surface, she forcibly shoved it back down, unable to handle what her pain was masking. </p><p>Kara sniffles, her chest heaves a sob as she curls into a ball. </p><p>The mattress shifts beside her as someone moves closer. “MEOW,” yowls her cat, Totoro. She reaches out blindly to scratch him behind the ears and is rewarded with the soft vibration of his purrs. Giggling, she turns her head and finds his squashed face pressed to her side. </p><p>“How did you get in here?” She hiccoughs. The door had been closed. </p><p>A throat clears, and Kara looks up to find Lucy leaning against the doorframe. “He was scratching at the damn door again. We just got them repainted,” she says. Kara rolls her eyes, focusing her attention on Totoro. He stretches out next to her, tilting his head as she digs her fingers into his chin. “How are you kiddo?”</p><p>Kara shrugs almost imperceptibly. Her face gives nothing away, but Lucy has known her long enough to see past that. She’s across the room in an instant, crawling onto the bed and on top of Kara. The back of her head is pressed to the side of Kara’s who has to spit out some of Lucy’s hair. </p><p>Groaning under the weight, she wiggles some, hoping to get her friend off of her. “Hah!” Luce cackles, pinching Kara’s side. </p><p>“Geroff me,” Kara grumbles unhappily. Her attempt to shove Lucy off has failed miserably. Lucy does a little wiggle, trying to make herself more comfortable. </p><p>She responds with a laugh. “Sorry, but I don’t speak grumpypants.”</p><p>Kara kicks back her leg, which only serves to make Lucy laugh harder. “Jerk,” she says, trying to angle her elbow to jab her best friend. She can’t find the right angle and huffs with frustration. </p><p>“Are we leaving the apartment today? Because I swear your cat has seen more of the outside than you and he doesn’t even leave the apartment.”</p><p>It’s a fair point. As soon as they arrived home from the airport, Kara went straight to her room and hadn’t left. Her cat came and went, sometimes preferring away from her. But other than the few steps needed to reach the bathroom or let her cat out, Kara has barely migrated from her bed. She's been swept up in her own racing thoughts. She ignored her roommates when they knocked, but she did open the door when they left food, leaving the empty dishes outside her door when she was done. </p><p>“I’m sorry I’ve been kind of an asshole,” she says solemnly. </p><p>Lucy jabs her with an elbow. “Your cat is an asshole. You’re just emotionally stunted.”</p><p>Kara scowls. “M’not.”</p><p>Lucy scoffs. “Honey—“</p><p>“Okay, okay fine I’m emotionally stunted.” She’d rather not hear Lucy read her like a book. Her friend posses incredible insight. It was often scary how accurate she was about people. Kara envies Lucy for her interpersonal skills; she found it difficult herself to navigate relationships, but Lucy seemed to do it with ease. “I don’t mean to be.”</p><p>Patting her side, Lucy rolls off Kara and sprawls out next to her. “I know. But I also think you’re keeping a lot inside of you. I think you’re afraid.”</p><p>Kara averts her gaze. There’s a ringing of truth, she’s not quite ready to face. Everything she’s avoided all this time has finally come to a head. “I am,” admits Kara. “Some days I don’t know how I get out of bed. It hurts and if it hurts—”</p><p>“It’s real,” Lucy finishes. </p><p>“It’s real,” she confirms. </p><p>“Even better reason for you to get up today then.” She pokes Kara’s cheek, a smile curling the corners of her lips. “You gotta face the world sometime. Might as well do it when I’m around.”</p><p>Finding the strength takes some difficulty. Kara searches deep within herself and energy surges through her. “Okay.” Lucy restrains herself and leaves the room, bouncing on her toes with a giddy grin. </p><p>It takes a while for Kara to feel comfortable with her appearance. There’s not much to do about the dark circles ringing her eyes, nor the puffiness. But she works with what she’s got. She runs a brush through her knotted hair for the first time in days, wincing as the brush moves through the gnarls. Then she dresses in a pair of jeans and a tank. At the last minute, she remembers to grab her sunglasses off her dresser before meeting Lucy in the hall. The sunglasses will at least cover her eyes. </p><p>Adding a scoop to Totoro’s bowl, she gives his head a scratch and rubs her face against his. “Be a good boy for Katie and Elena,” she whispers. It’s futile, but she figures there’s no harm in saying it anyway. </p><p>A periwinkle blue sky greets them when they exit the apartment building’s . Zero clouds blot the sky and the sun glints off every reflective surface. It’s blinding. Kara slides her aviators down and follows Lucy down the street to her car. </p><p>Kara leans her head against the window as Lucy manoeuvres herself around traffic. She weaves in and out of cars on the highway with skill and a few honks and a lot of loud cursing. Kara had no idea Lucy knew that many swear words in other languages. </p><p>“My mom would’ve washed your mouth out with soap, regularly.” It’s the first thing she’s said the entire trip. </p><p>Lucy beams. “Ooh kinky.” Kara cracks a smile. “Oh my goodness,” she gasps, delightedly. “Is that a smile I see?”</p><p>Kara rolls her eyes and goes back to watching passing cars. It’s a lot of blurs in various shades of blue, red, and black. There are other colours in the mix, but those three make more appearances. </p><p>Music pours from the speakers and Kara cheers up. She knows Lucy thinks she’s insane to find comfort in one of her many sad playlists, but she thinks she’s struck the right balance between uplifting and downright depressing. Some days all she wants is to embrace her sadness. Lucy calls it wallowing, but they’ll agree to disagree. </p><p>Lucy opens her mouth to unleash another stream of questions. She’s been bursting with them from the second she got a look at Kara and her fallen features. Kara shoots her a quelling look, not quite prepared to answer the torrent of questions. It’s not that she doesn’t want Lucy to know. She does. She wants to talk about it desperately, to have someone understand what’s going on inside her head. But there’s also a part of her afraid to speak about it, as if putting it into words will make it anymore real than it already is.</p><p>Remembering something Jeremiah told her years ago when she first came to live with the Danvers, the churning in her gut stood. Her insides are still twisted up and she’s on tenterhooks, but she thinks she’s ready for what she’s about to do. </p><p>
  <em> Jeremiah liked to spend time on the deck, looking up at the stars. Kara found herself joining him, if only to escape her foreign surroundings and the scowls and glares from her new sister. Eliza was nice and warm, the type of mom Kara sometimes wished for. But she felt terrible when they spent time together. She thought of her mama. Her mama was an excellent skater, but she was terrible at baking. She burned the cake for her seventh birthday and bought store cupcakes instead. Eliza was amazing at baking. For Kara's ninth birthday, she found a recipe of Kara's favourite Kasnian chocolate cake. It was so good and she cried afterward. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Jeremiah was easy. He didn’t remind her of papa. They were different in a lot of ways. Papa made lots of jokes and carried her around on his strong shoulders. He would boop her nose and talk to her in Russian.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sitting outside in the glittering darkness, the moon hovering over the opaline coloured water, it was peace. He showed her the constellations, taught her to use a telescope, and answered all of her burning questions.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sometimes he caught her staring her at the inky, moonlit water. “Did you know water is like medicine?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She quirked a silent brow at him.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Well sometimes when I’m feeling so much, I go out there.” He nods to the Sound. “I walk out until only my head is poking out and I yell.” He smiled at her bemused look. “It makes me feel better to let it go. It’s easy to keep it all inside and let it amount until it comes out in spurts. My temper got the best of me when I was younger and I said a lot of things that I wouldn’t have if I weren’t holding it all in.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> That was the thing about Jeremiah. He seemed to understand and used his words carefully. He was straightforward with her. “Now come look,” he would say, waving her over.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He knew when she needed time to herself and was content to wait her out.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> After that night, she stared at the water with a secret yearning. Sometimes she almost did it. She would climb out of her bed and walk down to the water. She stood at the edge, the water lapped at her feet. But she couldn’t bring herself to go forward. She didn’t know why. So she stayed until the sun came up and then clambered back to the house.  </em>
</p><p>“Thank you for driving me,” she tells Lucy. “It’s something that I’ve been waiting to do for a long time.”</p><p>Lucy nods. </p><p>“I think I’ve spent a lot of years hiding behind everything. Losing my parents, it was like tossing a rock into the water. It rippled into my past, present and future. I-it’s strange how one event can affect all areas of your life.”</p><p>“It’s like that sometimes. We can’t help how we feel or the moments that leave a lasting impact. I’m not mad at you Kara,” Lucy says. She briefly flicks her eyes in Kara’s direction, shooting her a small smile. “Everyone handles loss differently.”</p><p>And she leaves Kara to her thoughts and focuses on the road instead. She perks up when they cross into Midvale, and she recognises her surroundings. Midvale never changes. It’s dependable like that. She once hated that, but now it reminds her that not everything has to change. Her life with the Danvers in Midvale has been the one constant in her life. And once she would've raged at the idea, it brings her comfort now. Driving through the outskirts, the smell of juniper and salt lingering in the air, all Kara feels is content.</p><p>Upon arrival at their final destination, Kara is out of the car in seconds. She bypasses the house and heads straight for the trail leading down to the water. The sun beats down hotly, beads of sweat pool on her neck. Her stomach writhes, the sensation not unfamiliar, but she continues until she reaches the spot where the land and sea meet. </p><p>The rippling water calls to her. Transfixed, Kara has just enough presence of mind to kick off her shoes before she continues walking. She drifts deeper and deeper until she can go no further. </p><p>And then she screams. </p><p>The rising feelings that were bursting to escape flow out of her. It’s a song of mourning, a song for the lost, a song for the weak, a song for a little girl who never grieved. Her song travels over the gleaming red waters, resounds deeply within the friend left at the shore. It’s every feeling she suppressed. It’s the rage. It’s the envy. It’s everything. </p><p>It’s the loathing she holds for herself. It’s the regret she carries on her shoulders. It’s everything she ever stifled to keep with the status quo. Her shoulders quake as she let’s it all go. </p><p>She screams herself hoarse, her throat raw and aching, and still she cannot stop. Thick pearly tears trickle down her cheeks and her shoulders wrack as she pours everything out. The white-hot pain comes back with a fury, burning her insides, and for the first time in fifteen years, Kara grieves. </p><p>Sinking under the water, Kara releases a string of curses and cries. Bubbles lift to the surface, reassuring Lucy. Still Kara stays until her lungs are heaving from lack of breath. And for a moment she contemplates not kicking up, just for a moment. Instead of allowing the water to pull her further down, with a shuddering gasp Kara rises up. From the shore, it’s like watching a phoenix be reborn from the ashes. There’s something almost different about the girl who went into the water and the one who’s come out. </p><p>Feeling drowsy with limbs as heavy as lead, it takes Kara longer than normal to reach shore. But she does it. Collapsing to her knees with a strangled sob when she reaches the damp earth, Kara is disquieted by the hushed silence of her surroundings.  </p><p>Lucy approaches her with a soft smile and softer eyes. And she conjures another bout of strength and gets to her feet. </p><p>Eyes swimming with tears, she closes the distance between them and pulls Lucy into a crushing hug. Her tears soak Lucy’s neck, and when she tries to back away, Lucy holds her tighter, smoothing her messy hair. “Shh, it’s okay,” she says. </p><p>And finally, Kara thinks she might be starting to believe that. </p><p>Folding her into her embrace, Lucy holds Kara’s trembling body closer. She cards her fingers through tangled locks. “It’s okay,” she says. She ushers Kara over to a bench, carefully lowering them, her arms still wrapped around Kara. “You know, I was five when my mom died. I didn’t really understand what was happening. I knew she was sick. She had lost all of her hair and she was so skinny. Every time we visited, she looked worse.” Lucy’s voice comes out choked and Kara knows she’s fighting back her own tears. </p><p>“Then one day we came home (Lois and I) o-our dad, he s-sat us down. It was like he wasn’t really seeing us, like he was somewhere else. He then told us that while we were at school, our mom had died. He explained what that meant. Lois knew right away that she wasn’t coming back. I needed more clarity.” Kara squeezes her arms around Lucy, trying to offer some solace. “All these people came pouring in and telling us how brave and strong we were. I didn’t feel it. I wanted my mom back. I cried myself to sleep for months. It wasn’t <em> fair. </em>”</p><p>Death was never fair. Death wasn’t distributed based on justice or logic. It was random, striking at people without reason. Kara discovered nothing about death was fair, especially not for the people left behind. </p><p>“Lois has always been better at compartmentalising than me. For her, it was easy to move forward if she kept herself busy. She mourns our mother, but it’s different for her. For me, I did a lot of stupid shit when I was teen. I was so empty. My dad and Lois never talked about her. It was like she hadn’t existed at all. I felt ashamed for wanting to keep her memory alive. I wanted her back. As much as my sister tried, she couldn’t replace her.”</p><p>“She did a lot for me. It was the one thing she couldn’t do. I resented Lois for having more time with her, for having more memories, and for being able to move forward. I got into a spot of trouble in boarding school and my dad put me in therapy. At first, I hated it. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about my feelings,” Lucy huffs tiredly. “I tried to fake it. My therapist saw through me and my attempts. And then, she asked some very pointed questions and I fell apart.”</p><p>Lucy sighs, relaxing her hold around Kara. She leans back more into the bench, adjusting her position. Kara follows her, loosening her arms. “What happened?”</p><p>“Therapy was good for me. Life is short when you think about it. And I was standing in the way of my own happiness. I sabotaged all the good things. I felt I didn’t deserve them and pushed everyone who loved me away.” She gives Kara’s shoulder a little tap-tap. </p><p>Pushing away people became as easy as breathing. If they couldn’t get close, they would give up and Kara could save herself a future heartbreak. It was all so simple in her head. The reality was difficult to execute, but she did her best to keep her walls erected. Some people were just persistent and wore her down. </p><p>Kara shivers, chilly from her drenched clothes and the light breeze wafting off the water, but she ignores it. Being uncomfortable isn’t so bad and Lucy doesn’t seem to mind much either. “My aunt and uncle argued a lot… about me.”</p><p>At first, her aunt’s husband was fine with her living with them. She remembers sitting sandwiched between them at her parents’ funeral. He kept a hand on her shoulder when they stood at the gravesite. Her aunt held her hand and for the first time in a week, she felt safe. They were the ones who came to deliver the news of her parents’ death. They sat her down, tears swimming in their eyes and spilling down their cheeks, and they told her that her mom and dad wouldn’t be coming home. </p><p>Denial was her friend in the early days. She called them liars. She screamed until she was hoarse. She trashed her bedroom. And then she fell to her knees, sobbing for two people who were gone forever. </p><p>Still, she stubbornly refused to accept the claim. Kara stared out her bedroom window for days, watching for their car to come up the road. She expected them to have some story for why this mistake had happened. But it never happened. </p><p>Instead, her aunt set out a black skirt and a grey sweater set. Kara wore her new shiny black shoes. They were supposed to be for school, which was due to start in the upcoming week. She remembers after hating those shoes. She tossed them in the bin and then regretted it after the trash had been collected. But she wore those shoes the day they went to the funeral home, and saw her parents for the first time since they dropped her off at school on their way out of town in <em> those </em> shoes.</p><p>Her approach to the front of the room was slow-going, marked by shuffling feet, and tears streaming down her cheeks. Her aunt had given up on forcing, allowing Kara to do it in her own time. And she did take her time. The feeling of horror washed over her when she finally caught her first glimpse of her parents.  </p><p>The people in the caskets barely resembled them. </p><p>Her mom’s brown hair was dull and lifeless, hard to the touch from too much hairspray. Her smooth skin was like marble. It was cold, so cold. Her face was different. She didn’t smile. She didn’t do anything. Her mouth was set into a straight light, so unlike her mother’s warm smiles that made her eyes crinkle. Kara squeezed her eyes shut and tried to imagine her mom was just sleeping. If she was sleeping then there was a chance she could wake up and come back to her. </p><p>But then she moved to her father. Any hopes of that fruitless wish died when she saw his face. There were tiny cuts in his face where the glass cut him. The make-up couldn’t hide that. She ran her fingers over his still face, wishing she could hear him laugh once more. He had such a rich laugh. He would chortle and snort, the sound bounced off their living room walls. He would slap his leg and say “my little Solntse, too funny.” </p><p>She felt special when he used his name for her. None of her friends’ parents called them little sun. Kara would puff out her chest and beam with pride. “Папа, я люблю тебя,” she cried, leaning in to kiss his cheek. Tears slipped down her nose onto his face and she cried harder, backing away and refusing to come closer. She was dispirited with the realisation that they were truly gone. Death had stolen them from her. </p><p>Her aunt and uncle were sympathetic and they allowed her to stay seated at a distance. It didn’t make much sense to her. A week before she was hugging and kissing her mama and papa, begging them for more lessons and telling them how she was going to be an Olympian like them. </p><p>And that’s what spurred on the first few arguments. Neither of them had lives adaptable to children. Her aunt was an ambassador, constantly flying all over the world. Her uncle was in the military. Their goal was to keep her life as similar to her old one, which meant structure and tight schedules. </p><p>“They would wait until they thought I was asleep and then go inside the office. I knew they were angry because they yelled in Russian. There was a lot more cursing involved. I could hear the sadness in my aunt’s voice. It always sounded like she was in tears, you know?” She feels Lucy’s head bob. “And then one day I came home from school, my mom and dad were there on the sofa. I was really shy and confused about these strangers. They were drinking tea with my aunt and at first I was going to my room because I thought it was adult time.”</p><p>Kara shakes her head ruefully. “I was so dumb. She called me back and introduced them. Aunt Astra left me to talk with them. I was really confused, but they were nice enough.” She shrugs offhandedly. “So I thought nothing of it when they kept coming back, sometimes bringing gifts or taking me out. They would come to my lessons. It felt nice to have people watch me again. Aunt Astra and Uncle Non didn’t have the time.”</p><p>Or so they told her. She was mostly grateful they took her. People at the funeral were extremely chatty, discussing the intricacies of her custody and her parents’ estate. They thought it was awfully big of Astra to take on the burden of raising Kara. </p><p>“I was nearly nine when they first broached me living in Midvale. I thought— I was stupid. I didn’t realise they meant me moving in with them. I thought we were moving until Aunt Astra sat me down a few weeks before my birthday. We were quickly approaching the one year anniversary of my parents’ death and she told me that she wanted to give me a better life with a proper family. She and Non weren’t the best at making time for me and they just felt it would be nice if I had parents.” Kara laughs hollowly. Her heart squeezes painfully when she thinks of that tiny girl clinging to her aunt, screaming and begging that she can do better. </p><p>“Then one day, my parents picked me up from practice. I knew then that I wasn’t going back to her house. She and Non moved back to Kasnia before she was relocated to an embassy in London. I hated her. God, I really hated her so <em> fucking </em> much. Unlike with my parents, I felt justified hating her. How could she do that to me?” At least, her parents hadn’t chosen to leave her. Astra chose the advancement of her own career over her grieving niece. </p><p>“You never told me that before,” Lucy says after a few beats of silence. “I kinda always assumed you’d been put into foster care or something.”</p><p>Kara sighs, fiddling with the strings on Lucy’s hoodie. “No,” she says. “I lived with my aunt for a full year. And at first when I moved to Midvale, I was so careful. I didn’t want to do anything to make them give me away either.”</p><p>She was hesitant to show any emotion except happiness. She made her bed as soon as she rose. She kept her roomy tidy, despite it not coming naturally to her. She insisted on helping with all household tasks. Eliza cottoned on and sat Kara down to explain that they didn’t need her to be some Stepford daughter. All she had to do was be herself. </p><p>Still, it took more time before she felt comfortable enough to allow her mask to fully slip. It surprised all of them when Kara came storming into the house, door slamming behind her, and stomped up the stairs. No one said anything, but she received some odd looks at dinner that night. </p><p>Lucy gently pulls back, tipping Kara’s face up. Her green eyes are soft and warm. “Oh Kara,” her voice carries a mournful tone. Kara shrugs, trying to duck her head. “Your aunt had fucked up priorities and I swear next time she pops in for one of her little visits, imma kick her ass.”</p><p>Despite the seriousness of the moment, Kara giggles until her belly quivers. “I’m hehe sorry hehe but it was funny. You would actually do that for me?” Her voice holds a note of wonder. </p><p>“Did I not kick Emily’s ass?” Kara shoots a glare at her. “Yeah, yeah bad Lucy, blah blah, I know.” She waves her free hand, dismissing Kara’s irritation. “Our roommates helped too, besides it was only a <em> few </em> punches. Bitch had it coming. Besides she hit me first when I confronted her and was boasting abo—“</p><p>Kara covers her mouth. “Yeah I get it. Still she wasn’t worth it.”</p><p>“You’re my best friend and like my family too since your cousin and my sister are married. So tough luck trying to get me to stop protecting you. Alex would’ve done it too if she had been there. She hated Emily more than I did.”</p><p>Pushing Lucy’s hand away, Kara pulls away. She spreads out her legs, wrinkling her nose at the squelching sound, and leans back to bask in the blood-red sun hanging low over the water. Staring up at the rose-coloured sky streaked with gold, the tops of the trees gilded in more gold, Kara felt her fear and uncertainty start to settle inside of her. For the first time in years, the stormy seas of her mind were calm and clear. </p><p>“So therapy?” Kara says with a note of curiosity. </p><p>Lucy slides her hand over Kara’s, curling her fingers around the limp appendage. “It’s hard work. You have to be willing to put in the effort, but it helped me. And if anything, it’s a nice place to talk about your feelings and things you couldn’t tell other people. It can be easier to tell a stranger over the people you love.”</p><p>Kara heaves another sigh, suddenly feeling incredibly tired. Her body aches and her mind is seconds from shutting down for the night. “I guess— well it— admitting that I wasn’t okay… that it hurt to lose my papa and mama and then losing my aunt and uncle— I don’t know. I thought it would make me seem broken or something. Worse though was that I hated how much I loved and hated them.” Clumsily, she slides her fingers through Lucy’s. </p><p>“My therapist told me love is like an ocean. It keeps replenishing and never empties. We will never not have love. And we can’t always control who we love just like the ocean doesn’t choose which rivers run off into it. But grief… grief is something very different. It’s like the tide. It comes and goes. Sometimes it’s dependable. There are moments when you know it’ll be there waiting for you in your weakest moments, but it can disguise itself. Because sometimes it’s really the oncoming wave that you never see coming and it drowns you and pulls you under.”</p><p>Drifting into silence, Kara finds her eyes falling shut. In the distance, she can hear the chirp of birds up in the treetops, the rippling water of the Midvale Sound, the cracks and snaps of twigs, and it’s familiar. It’s home. </p><p>She would be happy to remain outside, but Lucy notices her violent shaking and forces her up to her parents’ home. Sliding the key out from the rug and into the lock, Kara inhales deeply when she catches the scent of vanilla and cinnamon. “I have a few things here from after my accident and you can borrow whatever is in my room.”</p><p>Before she can head up the stairs, Lucy grabs her hand and tugs her around. “Kara,” she says in a grave tone. “What happened with Lena?” Lucy gives her a significant look and she knows that she can’t escape this time. </p><p>Dropping Lucy’s hand, Kara turns, waves for Lucy to follow her. If they’re going to have this conversation, she would rather be comfortable in dry clothes. Her bedroom remains mostly untouched, though there are signs her mom has been in to do some light cleaning. </p><p>The dust that normally coats the top of furniture during her long absences is gone and the bed is freshly made. The windows gleam in the fading golden light. The woodsy scent of her plug-in washes over her, and she knows she’s home. This is her safe place.</p><p>She digs through her drawers and tosses a pair of sweats and a hoodie at Lucy. “The bathroom is down the hall,” she says. </p><p>With Lucy gone, she takes the time to change and collect her thoughts. Her wet jeans prove tricky to pull down, sticking firmly to her legs, and she has to lean back onto her bed to get them off. “Aha,” she cries with a fist pump. She tosses them in the direction of her desk chair and slips on a pair of sleep shorts and a tank. </p><p>Falling back onto the mattress, she stares at the ceiling, watching the flickering sunlight play with the colouring of her room. Shadows dance on her ceiling. Tears burn her eyes and Kara presses the heels of her hands into them. </p><p>Life was funny, she couldn’t help thinking. It was unpredictable and ultimately messy. One choice determined the next and it was almost like she was following her own Yellow Brick Road. As soon as she overcame one obstacle, another came spiralling in her direction. Like Dorothy, she woke up one day and the world was different, but unlike Dorothy she didn’t get to go home. </p><p>With a series of knocks— to annoy her more than anything— Lucy enters the room and falls onto the bed beside Kara. “Okay, now you gotta spill. I’ve been dying to know everything. I mean it’s you and <em> Lena.<em>” Kara frowns, unsure how to interpret Lucy’s emphasis on Lena’s name. “Budge over,” Lucy says with a nudge. “And turn that frown upside down little clown.”</em></em></p>
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</p><p>“Ugh,” Kara groans. She scoots towards the right side of the bed. “There, happy?” She snarks. </p><p>
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</p><p>“Aw is grumpypants back?” Kara rolls her eyes. “You know I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s more that I’m shocked you were able to get out more than two words. I remember we used to talk about our list of celebs that we’d get a pass for and she was the only who was ever on yours. And I knew you’d had a crush for a long time. Hell Emily was even jealous. She would get so annoyed sometimes when you talked about Lena.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Wh-what? No, she didn’t.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Lucy turns her head and shoots Kara a look. The protest dies on her lips. Emily hated when Kara showed the slightest bit of attention to anyone that wasn’t her. “You’re not stupid or that blonde. That time you got sick and went to bed early, Emily kept drinking. She was pissed about something or another and got onto a whole rant about you. The news came on…” her voice petered off. It didn’t take a lot of imagination to figure out what happened. </p><p>
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</p><p>“…oh,” is all she can say. </p><p>
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</p><p>“I think it was made worse that Lena wasn’t out of the realm of possibilities. She’s Alex’s best friend. Eventually you’d cross paths with one another. Emily knew if that happened, you might not have picked her.” </p><p>
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</p><p>“That makes everything she did worse.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“She was a bitch. Honestly Kara, I hope your taste has gotten better.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Kara scowls, letting her fist fall on Lucy’s boob. “Oops,” she giggles. </p><p>
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</p><p>“Very mature,” Lucy says, shoving Kara’s arm off her. “Anyway, you’ve got to share with me what happened. Well not like <em> everything. </em> While I have a healthy appreciation for the female form and all things woman, there are very few exceptions to my no crossing the southern border.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Oh but I’m the one that’s not very mature? You can’t even say the word vagina,” Kara scoffs and gives Lucy a light kick. “I mean there are other wor—“</p><p>
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</p><p>Her words are muffled by Lucy’s hand, so she darts out her tongue and licks. “Gross,” squeals Lucy, wiping her hand on Kara’s shirt. Kara grins with suppressed triumph. “You’re a little weirdo,” she says, ignoring Kara’s indignant <em> hey! </em>“But you’re my little weirdo, so I guess I’m stuck with you. Now tell Mama Lucy all about your lady troubles.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Kara chooses to ignore half of that, wrinkling her nose. “I see no way out of this.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Yep, that’s right. You might as well get to yapping.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Sitting up, Kara grabs one of the throw pillows and hugs it. “Well it all started when I was trying to avoid my mom.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“After phonegate 2020?”</p><p>
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</p><p>Glowering, Kara continues with her story. “Anyway I decided to head out and find a bar. I definitely needed a good drink. So there I am, slightly and I mean slightly intoxicated.” She pinches her fingers together. Lucy chuckles with a knowing gleam in her eyes. “Then this woman hot as hell pops into the bar. Now at first, I really didn’t recognise her. Slightly intoxicated and all those years later, y’know?” </p><p>
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</p><p>“We got to talking and my head cleared enough at one point for me to realise it was her. Internally, I was having an absolute meltdown. Lena Luthor thought I was impressive enough to talk to and that was surreal. She didn’t seem to know me, so I thought it was fine.” Kara grips the pillow harder, her fingers turning white. “And then I’m not really sure who made the first move. It’s all very hazy. We’d put back a few between the two of us. We stumbled back to the hotel and she had me pressed against the elevator, her tongue in my mouth.” Her eyes glaze over as she recalls <em> that </em> glorious moment. </p><p>
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</p><p>It felt entirely too good to be true until she pinched herself and gasped into Lena’s mouth. </p><p>
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</p><p>Lucy snaps her fingers. “No bad Kara, we don’t think about incredibly good sex in front of our best friend who hasn’t had even decent sex in months. Well… actually just one thing… it was good, right? Lena seems like the type to show a girl a good time.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Kara bites her lip to suppress a smile. She doesn’t want to be unfair to her best friend. With a string of bad luck dates, the last six months hasn’t been the greatest for her. Kara and their roommates offered to set her up, but in Lucy’s opinion that was more humiliating. She didn’t feel she was at that stage just yet. </p><p>
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</p><p>“Yeah,” she says. “She was <em> very </em>good.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Fuck you,” Lucy says, her voice choked with laughter. “You disgusting little cretin, I can see it written all over your face. And I just gotta say <em> na-sty </em>.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Kara whacks her with the pillow. “You asked,” she reminds her. “It’s not my fault. I answered. But anyway so then I had the most awkward morning after, which I really thought couldn’t happen considering what happened in Pyeongchang. But god,” she says, burying her face in the pillow. “I wanted to die like the earth could have opened up and swallowed me whole. I wouldn’t have cared.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“It couldn’t have been <em> that </em>bad,” cajoles Lucy. </p><p>
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</p><p>“No, it was worse. Sara was there and Alex.” Lucy’s brows shoot up and her mouth puckers into a silent ‘o’. “And Lena. It was so awkward when Lena put it together that Sara had slept with not only Alex but me as well. The three of us stood there not looking at one another and I guess it clicked for her or something. She couldn’t get out of there fast enough. It was humiliating.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“I don’t blame her. I still can’t believe you and your sister have slept with the same person.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Scrunching her face in horror, Kara groans. “Please, stop reminding me. I try very hard not to think about it. <em> Ever </em>.” </p><p>
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</p><p>“Good thing Lois’ taste runs very differently from mine. She’s always liked those all-American types.” She winks at Kara. </p><p>
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</p><p>“Okay, I’ll give you that. Because he really is just so <em> American. </em> He’s like the poster boy. I mean does he really not know there are other colours besides red and blue?” Kara shakes her head sadly. “Enough about them, back to me. Oh, <em> oh </em> I didn’t mention that she didn’t even remember my name the next morning. Like c’mon,” she cries, throwing her arms in the air. </p><p>
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</p><p>Lucy chortles. “Kara, sweetie, I really do love you. But let’s be realistic. You have the worst alcohol tolerance. Whenever you’re at the bar, you usually end up three sheets to the wind. So I doubt you were recalling very much from the night before either.”</p><p>
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</p><p>And okay, so she hadn’t remembered every single detail of the encounter. But it was the principle of the matter. Her name was two syllables. It was hardly as advanced as quantum physics. It had stung when Lena hadn’t immediately recalled her name and stuttered her way through their re-introduction. She can also admit that her temper had gotten the better of her when she stormed out of the room with a loud slam. She was feeling a little petty. The regret came two seconds after when her brain was pounding angrily against her skull. </p><p>
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</p><p>“Did you get all huffy?”</p><p>
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</p><p>“<em> No.” </em></p><p>
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</p><p>Lucy’s smile grows wider. “You did. And she still was interested? Wow, I gotta give her credit.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“You’re the worst best friend.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“I’m glorious and you know. Now tell Mama Lucy the rest because that picture was posted two days after you arrived.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“We went to the beach. Had some fun. Then we had lunch at this cute little—“</p><p>
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</p><p>“Nope,” Lucy says, wagging her finger. “You casually skipped over the beach which means something totally happened. So you gotta rewind and be kind to your best friend. Come on, I’m living vicariously through you.” </p><p>
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</p><p>“I think they make a pill for that now.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Oh shut up and get to the good shit.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“You’re insufferable. Really nothing much happened. She checked me out a bit.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“You totally wore that white bikini. You little tease, I can’t or I can very much believe that you did. Did it work?”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Oh for sure, she couldn’t keep her eyes off me, especially my abs. She seemed to have a real affinity for them.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Not that you were complaining or anything.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“I have no reason to be ashamed. I’ve never liked that false modesty bullshit. I know what I’ve got to offer and what I look like. I’m not going to pretend I don’t. That would be disingenuous.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Lucy holds up her hands innocently. “Hey, I’m all for expressing your sex appeal and sexuality. You do you. No judgment from me at all, but like damn couldn’t you have taken it easy on the woman? She is only a mortal and your body is like some kind of Greek sculpture. Like seriously all those abs can’t be real.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Kara giggles and flexes her biceps for Lucy. “If you’ve got it, flaunt it,” she cackles. “Anyway, I may have come away from that encounter a little unbalanced.” Lucy leans forward eagerly like a child at story time. “She uh well let’s just say she’s skilled at the art of seduction.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Oh you gotta tell me more.”</p><p>
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</p><p>With a coy smile, Kara pretends to consider Lucy’s request. “Oh fine, but only because you’re the first person I’ve been able to tell. I went for a swim”-- <em>I’m sure you</em> <em>did--</em> “It was wholly innocent. I will not have you besmirching my good name Lucy Lane. I am an angel.” Lucy snorts derisively. “Look Lena is really fucking hot like damn. I don’t understand how she doesn’t stare at herself in the mirror all day. It’s really not fair that she’s so pretty.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“I couldn’t stop looking at her lips. They’re so kissable. I knew what they felt and tasted like. I was so tempted to kiss her. But y’know, my sister was like ten feet away. The crazier part was that as much as I was looking at her, she was looking at me. And we somehow found ourselves pressed together. She asked me to dinner, but god the air crackled between us. I would’ve ripped her clothes off before we got the food.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“I didn’t need the visual.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“I can’t remember to edit my narration. So you take what I give. As I was saying, she caught me staring at her chest. And then she was touching me. I swear I was covered in so many goosebumps. We um yeah so anyway we went to lunch instead.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“You dirty bitch, did you have sex in the ocean?”</p><p>
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</p><p>Two spots of colour appear on Kara’s cheeks. “No,” she mumbles. </p><p>
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</p><p>“But you would have,” surmises Lucy. </p><p>
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</p><p>“Maybe... I don’t know.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“I’m seeing a whole new side to you Kara Danvers. And I gotta say, I dig it.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“That terrifies me more than I could ever express.” </p><p>
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</p><p>“So you went to lunch…” Lucy prompts eagerly.</p><p>
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</p><p>It was an enjoyable lunch that was until their mothers decided to scar them for life. Kara will never be able to look at Lena’s parents together without flashing back to the <em> Netflix incident </em>. It was unfortunate for all of them and sadly it overshadows much of that lunch. “It was nice. We texted a bit and then I don’t know what made me do it, but I took her to watch the sunrise.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Kara, you’re such a romantic. Did she enjoy it? Is that where the kiss happened? You can’t leave me in suspense like this.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Anyone ever told you, you talk too much?”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Frequently,” she quips. “Your lips aren’t moving fast enough for me.”</p><p>
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</p><p>The memories are there and all she has to do is tug lightly, and they come pouring out. She tells Lucy about that one perfect day. She tells her about the rain and the pineapple kisses. She tells her about watching the fire dance in Lena’s eyes and she falls all over again. </p><p>
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</p><p>“You slept with her again, didn’t you?”</p><p>
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</p><p>She nods morosely. Kara kept being pulled into Lena’s orbit or the way Lena tells it, she was pulled to Kara. Either way, staying away from her was impossible. She tried and failed all in the same day. </p><p>
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</p><p>“And you went and fell in love with her?” Kara nods before she realises exactly what it is that Lucy said. </p><p>
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</p><p>“Wait— what? No, don’t be ridiculous.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Lucy crawls across the bed and plops down next to her. She throws an arm over her shoulders. “Kara, I’ve never seen you talk about anyone like this. I’ve known you for eight years. You’re glowing and your eyes are sparkling. You didn’t look like this in all the time you were with she-who-will-not-be-named.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Wow that was dramatic even for you.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Deflection won’t work this time honey. What’s wrong with being in love with her?” And then it clicks. Kara sees the moment it happens on Lucy’s face. She expected pity, but instead there’s an overwhelming amount of compassion shining in her eyes. “I’ll be the first to admit people suck, especially your aunt and Voldemort. But that’s no reason to run away from love when it comes hitting on you at a bar.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Leaning her head into Lucy’s, she exhales slowly. “I j-just if I leave first then they can’t leave.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“It hurts no matter who does the leaving.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Her throat dry, Kara looks away and swallows. </p><p>
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</p><p>“Kara,” Lucy says, looking around the room. “Do you not have photos of your biological parents?”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Oh that…” In an instant, she staggers to her feet and crosses the distance to the closet. </p><p>
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</p><p>On the top shelf sits a dusty, old box unmarked by the passage of time except for a thick coat of dust. Lifting onto her tiptoes, Kara reaches overhead, shifting the box closer until she can grab it with more than the tips of her fingers. Dumping it onto the bed, Kara carefully removes the lid. On top is a well-worn and beloved copy of <em> A Little Princess— </em> her favourite book and movie as a child <em> .    </em></p><p>
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</p><p><em> “ </em>I re-read this book dozens of times. I liked the movie just a smidge more because her father came back to her. It was what I wanted most.” Rush of melancholy washes over her as she runs her fingers over the spin. Sighing, she sets the book aside and sifts through the contents of her box. </p><p>
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</p><p>Inside are dozens and dozens of photos of a handsome dark haired couple with a golden haired child with a toothy grin. </p><p>
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</p><p>The pictures span several years from birth to weeks before Kara’s eighth birthday. Lucy stares at a photo of her the day she learned to ride a bike. She mugged happily for the camera, her chest puffing with pride, and her dad beaming proudly behind her. There was a band-aid on her arm from where she cut herself falling into the rose bushes. Her dad wiped her tears and kissed her cheeks, and then told her she needed to get back on the bike. She had wanted to go back inside and wallow. But she hated disappointing her dad, so she swung her leg over the seat and got back on. </p><p>
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</p><p> Another photo shows Kara on her first day of school. She wore her hair in pigtails with blue ribbons to match her uniform. School wasn’t a place she was particularly interested in attending. Much of her life up to that point was spent on the road with her parents before they decided to settle down and live a quieter life. </p><p>
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</p><p>Unaccustomed to spending hours and hours apart, Kara clutched her mother’s hand with a tear stained face and a red nose. Her father kept trying to make her smile, but she stubbornly refused. He tried to remind her there would always be photos and she shrugged indifferently. </p><p>
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</p><p>Pulling out more photographs, some faded and ragged at the edges, Kara finds her words. She tells Lucy about her mama and papa, a note of yearning in her voice. The stories come back easily. Details she thought were forgotten to the sands of time rise to the surface. </p><p>
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</p><p>Fingering a photo of that same couple holding a newborn with golden fuzz, the tears finally spill over, and Kara weeps for them and for herself. They were robbed of years together. She barely knows them outside of the scant memories she has. They don’t know her or the person she’s become in their absence. It’s unfair. </p><p>
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</p><p>“Papa was taking mama out for their anniversary when a truck driver hit them. The car flipped over. Mama was rushed to the hospital, but died not long after from internal bleeding. Papa was pronounced dead on the scene. I hadn’t seen them since they dropped me off for school. They were going on a mini weekend trip to celebrate fifteen years.” </p><p>
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</p><p>Lucy wets her lips. “Why have you never talked about them?” She asks.</p><p>
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</p><p>“I thought if I pushed away their memory, I wouldn’t constantly be hurting. At seven, I didn’t know how to explain to someone that I felt empty on the inside. It was like I’d never feel happy again if I had these <em> feelings </em> pressing me down all the time.” </p><p>
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</p><p>The room darkens with the arrival of the blue hour as streaks of violet fall across the sky in patches. The velvety blue was fading into an inky blue-black. From her spot on the bed, she could see a smattering of stars blinking back. Kara reaches back, twisting the dial on her lamp, and the room is suddenly bathed in bright yellow light. Blinking blearily, Kara adjusts to the change and shoots an apologetic grin at Lucy. “Sorry about that, mom must’ve changed out the bulb.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“So this is them?” Lucy stares at a photo of young Kara on the ice with her parents. </p><p>
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</p><p>Before there were lessons, her first teachers were her parents. The rink was their special place. She was fitted for her first pair of skates at two and her parents helped her toddle and lightly glide across the icy surface. She took to it like bees with flowers. </p><p>
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</p><p>They taught her the basics like staying upright and how to use the toe pick to stop without tripping. It was all good fun, especially when her parents travelled for clinics. She soaked up everything like a sponge and was eager to apply it to her own skating. </p><p>
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</p><p>“I was young when I fell in love with the art of skating. It was… it was <em> magical. </em>”</p><p>
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</p><p>She reaches inside and finds the bundled stack of photographs from her parents skating career. “They had started skating together when they were thirteen and fifteen. They hated each other at first,” chortles Kara. “My papa thought mama was insufferable. They would play these awful pranks on one another. But when it was time to be serious, they knew what to do. Kasnia… it can be rough. They came from good families, but not everyone is that fortunate.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Caressing their young faces forever preserved, Kara feels a swell of love for them. It sweeps over her and clears out the negativity. And all that’s left is them. They gave her everything they had to offer. They loved her. “They kept checking with me that I loved it. I think they were convinced I did it for them. They might be the reason I started, but I fell in love like they did.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Lucy scoots closer, taking the single photograph from Kara. “You’ve got your mom’s eyes,” she notes. “And your dad has a stubborn look about him like you do. I think they’d be proud of the woman you’ve become.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Kara’s smile is watery and her eyes are glossy. “Yeah, I think they would,” she murmurs softly. “His favourite song was <em> You Get What You Give. </em>He would tell me that whatever I put in, that’s what I should expect to get. I’ve been thinking about that song a lot lately.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“It’s okay to miss people who are gone. You can smile when you think of them. Grief can she like wine or it can turn bitter like vinegar. The thing is it never fully disappears. Our love for loved ones lost to us doesn’t suddenly die when they’re no longer here. We find ways to keep them close and express our bottled love. Grief is trapped love. It’s pure and it’s painful. Loving people means we accept one day we might lose them.” Lucy sorts through the photos and backs off. Like Jeremiah, she knows how far to push before Kara breaks. </p><p>
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</p><p>They are careful with the photos as they tuck them back into the box. Instead of putting it back in the closet, she sets it on her nightstand. She wants to keep them close. She clicks off the light and turns over. “I’m going to bring it back with me. I forgot what they had looked like.” She no longer remembers a lot of things about them like the sound of her father’s laugh or the sweetness of her mother’s singing. But she does remember their love wrapping around her like a blanket. </p><p>
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</p><p>“By the way, we’ve got a stop to make before we go home tomorrow. I made this appointment special for you.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Kara blows out a long breath. “I’m not sure whether to hug or strangle you just yet. If she yells at me, I’ll strangle you.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“I think a hug will be in order when she takes you back,” chuckles Lucy. “You did ditch her.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Kara huffs, fluffs her pillow, and turns over on her side much to her friend’s amusement. “Goodnight,” she says grudgingly. </p><p>
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</p><p>“Night ice princess.”</p><p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So the term of endearment her papa uses, translates to along the lines of sunshine. And then what she told him in Russian is ‘papa, I love you’.</p><p>Find me on <a href="https://moon-mia.tumblr.com">
    <em>tumblr</em></a></p><p>It's all coming to a head. We will see Lena soon. I promise. And of course since it's them, it'll be very memorable<i>.</i></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello my lovely readers, I'm back again with another installment. Oh please read the end note, important stuff mentioned.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dragging her feet the next morning, Kara reluctantly readies herself for the day. Having forgone showering the previous night, she slips out of bed and heads to the bathroom. Technically when she lived here, she had her own bathroom, but when guests like her grandparents came to stay, it was theirs too.</p><p>Alex had her own too. Their parents had remodelled the house a year after Kara moved in when they continued to bicker and shove in their attempts to reach the bathroom first. One of those altercations resulted in a split lip and a black eye. Tired of every morning beginning with shouting and banging, Eliza and Jeremiah decided to get some estimates for adding on another bathroom, if only to have some semblance of peace and quiet in the mornings.</p><p>Within a few months, the construction had ceased, and then there were three bathrooms instead of two. Alex’s complaints about Kara abated somewhat as she finally got what she’d wanted, space.</p><p>After Alex removed all of her things, Kara redecorated to her own tastes. Having grown comfortable in her place within the family, there was no hesitance when she asked if she could change it up and make it her own.</p><p>It led to her parents also agreeing to redo her room. They hadn’t really done anything with the room when Kara moved in. She had mostly just taken it over and made do with what she had. But after a year, she had realised this was to be her forever home. If she wanted it to feel more like hers, then she needed it to reflect that.</p><p>So they had emptied out her bedroom and she bunked with Alex for a couple of weeks. Their grandparents were visiting much to Alex’s disgruntlement. It was a tense time; arguments arose several times a day. Eventually, they called a ceasefire, and Alex helped with Kara’s room (mostly to get her sister out of hers).</p><p>They helped paint, splattering not only the walls but themselves in paint. She had chosen lavender, eventually exchanging it for sea-green a few years later. Lavender reminded her of her mother and it was a way to keep her close, a gentle reminder of her origins.</p><p>Picking out her own furniture was an entirely new experience as well. Her biological parents had chosen everything for her old room and her aunt gave her the guest room. These types of decisions had never been her own. It was thrilling to scroll through all of the sites with Eliza and Alex. Her sister was less of a help, shooting down all of her choices. It was less malicious and more of Alex steering her towards something she wouldn’t hate in a few years.</p><p>Kara decided on a black metal frame bed, stringing fairy lights through the bars. All of her furniture was black. They switched out the knobs on the bedside table and her dresser with glass ones shaped like flowers. And Eliza helped her shop for knickknacks to adorn her dresser and desk. Posters of her favourite skaters went up and she hung pictures of her family and friends.</p><p>When it was finished and she stepped inside the space that was just hers, everything suddenly clicked. She was a Danvers. They were hers. And she was theirs. She had inadvertently found her way home. She had two parents and a sister, a family.</p><p>While she like her sister went off to spread her wings in the world, Midvale was always waiting for her.</p><p>Her parents hadn’t changed anything in the years she had been away. The walls of the bathroom were the same burning orange she picked at ten. The shower curtain had been updated a few times over the years, but they were always white like the cozy on her toilet seat and her bath rug. She appreciated her parents aversion to completely redoing everything after their kids moved out.</p><p>A few of her friends had parents who had turned their bedrooms into home gyms, offices, or storage space. Eliza and Jeremiah made it clear to Kara and Alex that they’d always have a home with them, should they ever need it.</p><p>And Kara loves them more for that. She’s never needed to be reassured of their love or her place in their lives, but it was nice to have reminders. It was wonderful to step into her bathroom and feel everything was exactly as it should be.</p><p>Twisting the knobs, Kara gives the water a few minutes to heat up; and she watches as the mirror mists from the steam before undressing and stepping into the scalding water. The water is heaven on her bunched up shoulders. She feels some of the tension uncoiling from her muscles—the sinew loosening. And she goes through the motions of cleaning herself.</p><p>The music from the shower speaker blasts loudly, ricocheting off the bathroom walls. She’s always loved the acoustics of bathrooms and how the sound carries. Kara finds herself singing along for the first time in months. She’s in no rush to get out, finding a nice leisurely shower is exactly what she needs.</p><p>“<em>Midnight, you come and pick me up, no headlights…”</em> she starts, her voice echoing. “<em>You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye. And I got that red lip, classic thing that you like. And when we go crashing down, we come back every time. ‘Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style.”</em></p><p>She sort of drifts somewhere else as the music transitions, lulled into shifting beats and melodies, seamlessly moving between songs.</p><p>
  <em>“I was searching. You were on a mission. Then our hearts combined like a neutron star collision—“</em>
</p><p>The cooling water pulls her out of her trance-like state and brings her back down to earth. With a great shiver, Kara rushes to shut off the water. Snatching a fuzzy towel from her cabinet, she wraps it around herself.</p><p>Her mind is sort of everywhere and nowhere. It’s been a rough few days locked inside her head, but Kara thinks she’s finally starting to see the other side. There’s a tentative plan in place, bound to change based on the people around her.</p><p>But she’s finally figured out what she wants. Dreams that slipped through her fingers like water so long ago have come back, clearer than ever. She has goals other than completing her doctorate. She’s envisioned so much more than presenting her dissertation or even completing it.</p><p>Though she hasn’t given up on that either. She’ll have to contact her advisor, and she makes a mental note to do so. A week ago, even two days ago, looking that far ahead into her future seemed bleak. Life had dealt her a cruel hand. That was true. However, she thinks she hadn’t really helped herself. She chose to wallow in her misery, going against her very nature.</p><p>Resilience was something that came easy to her as a child. Mastering jumps and spins took patience and lots and lots of practice. Kara figures putting her life back together shouldn’t be any different. It wasn’t as if she created her life overnight.</p><p>Wiping the fogged up mirror with her palm, Kara stares at her reflection again. Having mostly avoided it, she sees the same girl looking back at her. The one whose bright eyes glimmer and whose skin glow with happiness. The bruises under her eyes are less pronounced after a decent night of sleep. And maybe this is what healing feels like, tiny steps.</p><p><em>“The world is broken. Halos fail to glisten,”</em> sings Kara, keeping in tune. “<em>You try to make a difference, but no one wants to listen. Hail, the preachers, fake and proud. Their doctrines will be cloud. Then they’ll dissipate like snowflakes in an ocean.”</em></p><p>A pounding on the door interrupts her. Growling, she throws open the door to reveal Lucy, standing there with a sheepish smile. “Sorry,” apologises Lucy upon noticing her semi-naked state. “I—uh—well I had to use the bathroom.”</p><p>“Bro,” Kara groans. “You can use Alex’s. It’s two doors down on the left. You can’t miss it because she nailed a sign to it saying it was hers.” Kara had thought it funny. Her parents not so much. “Sorry,” she says, shifting her weight to lean on the door. “It’s just… well I like to sing when I’m getting ready for the day.”</p><p>Lucy holds up her hands with a soft smile. “No Kara, that’s fine. I had forgotten about this. It’s been some time since I last heard you singing in the bathroom. It’s just nice to hear. You’ve always had such a nice voice. I kinda missed hearing every morning and night.” Lucy ducks her head, grinning shyly.</p><p>Kara had barely noticed the absence of music in her life, at least not at first. It took a while to register something besides skating as missing from her life. But there was a day when she sat in one of the physics labs and it took her while to pinpoint what was wrong. It was the lack of music. She had nothing, just the silence of silence.</p><p>“Thanks Luce,” Kara says. She swings the door a little on the hinges, unable to really meet Lucy’s eyes.</p><p>Lucy pokes her collarbone. “You numpty, you don’t ever have to thank me. It’s what family does for each other. I’m just happy that you’re okay or getting there anyway.”</p><p>“I am,” she replies, bobbing her head a little. She swings the door further back than intended and nearly smacks her face into the frame when she stumbles. “Oops,” she mumbles. “That was totally my bad.” Her face grows hot, and she ignores Lucy’s twitching lips. “But yeah… things are kinda looking up.”</p><p>“Good,” Lucy says. “If you want I can head into town and grab us some breakfast. Your parents don’t really have anything and I’m starving.”</p><p>Kara blinks at the sudden turnaround. “Uh—yeah sure. Do you need directions?”</p><p>“I think I can manage. I’ve got GPS.”</p><p>Kara blushes scarlet. “Right yeah, sorry about that. There’s a cafe on the corner of Pike and Main. They do carry-out orders and have the best scrambled eggs.”</p><p>“Turkey bacon?”</p><p>“Of course and a side of hash browns.”</p><p>“Coffee or orange juice?”</p><p>“Best go with the coffee,” Kara says.</p><p>“How do you want it?”</p><p>“Just ask for the Kara special, they’ll know.”</p><p>“Okay… anything else?”</p><p>Kara shakes her head. “No that’ll be all. If you want, you can use my card. It’s on my dresser.” She figures the least she can do is pay. The entire reason they’re here is for her. Feeding Lucy is hardly a hardship.</p><p>“Ahh, you are the best!” Lucy exclaims. In a flash, she’s gone, headed back down the hallway. A moment later, she hears the creak and closing of a door. Kara closes her own door and faces the mirror again.</p><p>It’s still her.</p><p>With that confirmation, she goes through her morning routine. Rummaging through her drawers, she finds the extra toothbrushes she keeps in stock for occasions like this. There’s a pause before the next song starts. Kara squeezes some paste onto her brush and gets to work. She dances to the beat, shimmying and bopping to the music as she scrubs her teeth. After spitting and rinsing, Kara finds herself singing again.</p><p>“<em>X marks the spot where we fell apart. He poisoned the well, I was lying to myself. I knew it from the first Old Fashioned, we were cursed. We never had a shotgun shot in the dar—”</em> The lyrics continue to flow from her mouth as goes through her morning routine. Kara keeps duplicates of everything at her parents house, so as to not have to bring everything with her.</p><p>Applying her cleanser, Kara finds herself connecting in a whole new way to the next song. “<em>I still fall on my face sometimes and I can’t color inside the lines ‘cause I’m perfectly incomplete. I’m still working on my masterpiece and I wanna hang with the greatest gotta way to go, but it’s worth the wait, no you haven’t seen the best of me. I’m still working on my masterpiece.”</em></p><p>It’s almost disconcerting that after years of listening to <em>Masterpiece</em>, it’s only now she fully understands the words. Sure, the underlying message got through when she initially heard it. But the lyrics feel so much more <em>powerful</em> and <em>poignant</em> now. She doesn’t need to have every detail of her life sorted out, nor does it have to.</p><p>She’s taken some hits, but she’s getting back up. She’s making progress at her own pace, learning to accept where she Is. Her life might not measure up to her initial expectations, but it’s still worth <em>something.</em></p><p>Kara finishes her morning routine and goes back to her room. She listens for any sound of Lucy, but by the sound of it or lack thereof, she’s already gone. Her bedroom is deserted and her card missing off her dresser.</p><p>Rifling through her closet and drawers, Kara finds something decent to wear. The blue floral skirt flares out a bit, and she pairs it with a white, ruffled crop top. To complete the look, she runs a brush through her damp hair and braids it. She pulls a few tendrils out of the dutch-braid and loosens the braid, to give it a slightly messier look. It’s the most effort she’s put into her every day appearance in some time.</p><p>And it’s strange to almost feel like her old self, and not like she’s inhabiting the body of someone else.</p><p>She’s not a stranger. She’s herself. She’s Kara. And nothing has ever felt better than that. Her worries of the past year seemed to have fallen away in the wake of this revelation. The fire inside of her seems to have reignited, and it was like waking up from a coma.</p><p>The world was somehow different. Or maybe it’s that she’s different. Whatever the difference, there’s an extra bounce in her step as she dances her way down the stairs. <em>“‘Cause I’m a voodoo child voodoo child,</em>” she sings loudly, rocking her head. “<em>Lord knows I’m a voodoo child. Hey hey hey, I’m a voodoo child baby. I don’t take no for an answer. Question no.”</em></p><p>Finishing off the song with a few extra moves, more than thankful Lucy and Alex are not here to witness this, Kara connects her phone to the Bluetooth speaker in the living room. While her parents hadn’t changed much in terms of the decor, they did update their electronics and appliances.</p><p>Her music pours out of the speakers, louder than her parents would ever allow. Whenever they left for the day, Alex and Kara would battle over whose turn it was to pick. They only lowered the volume when they heard the garage door opening. They would scramble down the stairs, taking them two or three at a time to stave off a lecture from their mother about bursted ear drums.</p><p>Drifting into the sunroom, Kara finds herself wandering to the windows. Bright light spills into the room, reflecting off the blue walls. The room was added on during the renovation of Alex’s bathroom and overlooks the shining waters of the Sound.</p><p>Aside from her own bedroom, it was always her favourite room in the entire house. Spending countless hours laying on the wicker furniture, her back pressing comfortably into the cushions. The sound of lapping waves and birds chirping in the trees lulled her to sleep. Some days she stretched out on the floor, basking in the warm sun like a cat—dreaming of her future.</p><p>It was a happy place.</p><p>Kara folds herself into a chair with a decent view of the sea and the driveway. She lays her head to rest on her arms. The view almost reminds her of Maui and her own home resting on the bluff overlooking the ocean. Her thoughts fuse together and all she’s left to think about is Lena. She’s never felt ashamed of her actions before.</p><p>But this is something she is unable to justify. She can explain how she came to her decision to sneak out of bed and out of the state. Still, none of that excuses her shitty behaviour. Lena woke up alone and probably upset.</p><p>Was she upset? Did she hate Kara? Kara would hardly blame her if she did. Her stomach writhes and there’s a hot sick feeling rising inside of her. Her head is sort of numb. How could she do that? She had done exactly what her aunt did, inflicting her pain on someone who hadn’t deserved it. Whether or not it was intended, she hurt Lena, herself, and her family through her own fear and insecurity. She would be lucky if Lena so much as waved at her in the future.</p><p>Over the last few days, her mind had strayed far from thoughts of Lena. She stumbled down her own rabbit hole of the past. Mired in all of her failings and shortcomings, Kara had refused to touch recent events lest she wanted to feel worse.</p><p>Before she left, running had seemed like the ideal option. She wasn’t ready to be hurt again, nor was she prepared to have the <em>conversation. </em>What else could she do? The advantage of hindsight came with the sickening feeling of regret. Her heart thumps madly in her chest. Would Lena allow her to apologise? Was it too late? Had Kara ruined everything between them forever? Did Lena think Kara had jerked her around as some kind of amusement? Would she listen to anything she had to say?</p><p>Because it turns out she did want that talk. She wants a lot of things. Her new positive outlook sours when she considers that seeking forgiveness doesn’t mean she’ll actually receive it. She wants so desperately to discuss the future and everything that entails, but Lena is entitled to the right to ignore all of her platitudes. Kara is a literal walking cliché.</p><p>The warm glow of the morning flickers out as something cold and icy replaces it. Lena isn’t the only person she’s made a mess of things with recently. Kara thinks of that phone call with snappish retorts and her own short temper. Shame brews in the pit of her stomach as something like cool dread crawls through her bloodstream. That’s another relationship she needs to repair. She was entirely unfair to her mother, using her as a punching bag for her own frustration.</p><p>All her mother had tried to do was reach out to her in the aftermath of something traumatic. She wanted to support and care for Kara. The relationship was only strained because Kara had pushed her away. Kara did what she knew best.</p><p>She had fallen back on old behaviours. For the third time in her life, the rug was pulled from under her and she came crashing down. Her mom would have caught her if she had allowed it. Her whole family would’ve helped her. After yearning for them to get a clue and leave her alone (which they never did), it was discomfiting to realise how childish she had been. They weren’t Astra. Their love and affection wasn’t contingent upon anything. She didn’t have to earn it. They gave it freely.</p><p>Kara wishes Lucy would hurry if only to pull her from her spiralling thoughts. And as if summoned by her thoughts, Kara hears Lucy’s car coming down the driveway.</p><p>The knot in her chest loosens as she watches Lucy exit the car, bearing bags containing their breakfast. Kara rushes out to help her, slipping and sliding on the polished oak floors. She meets Lucy as she comes up the stairs of the porch, offering to take the bags for her and set up in the sunroom, while Lucy grabs their drinks.</p><p>“It’s just past the kitchen,” she tells her. “You really can’t miss it.” She heads back in the direction from which she skidded, arms laden with food. “What the hell did she order?” She grumbles, readjusting her grip on the bags.</p><p>She sets the bags down on the table and starts pulling out containers. She opens each one, not the least bit surprised to find Lucy had gone overboard. There are scones, beignets, croissants, and other baked goods in two of the bags. “What the hell?” She mutters. “You were just supposed to get breakfast.” She shakes her head in disbelief as she rifles through the other bags.</p><p>She finds the container marked with her name and sets it aside. The other container has Lucy’s hastily scrawled on top. “At least you did that right,” she says. Searching the remaining contents of the bags for cutlery proves to be fruitless. The cafe hadn’t stuffed any silverware or napkins into the bag, so she heads back into the main part of the house. She plucks two forks out of a drawer and a few napkins from the holder on the table.</p><p>Kara takes her seat in a warm patch of light, bouncing as she jams to the music. She waits for Lucy to join her, enjoying the view of the rolling waves. </p><p>“Ugh Kara, really this <em>song</em>?” Lucy says in disgusted tones. She wrinkles her nose as she lowers herself into the chair across from Kara. “God, this is not 2008.”</p><p>“It’s a class— <em>t-tell your boyfriend if he says he’s got beef that I’m a vegetarian and I ain’t fucking scared of him.”</em> Lucy presses her lips together to hide her smile. “What?” Kara asks, her head moving to the side.</p><p>“Nothing,” Lucy says. She shakes her head. “It’s just nice to see this <em>you</em> again. I forgot how goofy you are.”</p><p>“Oh, well I’m back.” She shrugs, scooping some egg onto her fork.</p><p>“And you don’t know how thankful I am for that,” Lucy says, her eyes shiny. “But also I’m quite positive you play that song just to sing that one line.”</p><p>“<em>Gasp</em>, how dare you insinuate such blasphemy!” Kara clutches her heart with her free hand, her eyes wide and protuberant. Lucy throws a scone at her face. “No manners at all.”</p><p> </p><p>“You sure your parents won’t care we stayed here?”</p><p>Kara scoffs. “I’m pretty sure they’ll be relieved. Besides I’m due back here in a few weeks. My dad practically coerced me into it.”</p><p>“And how do you feel about that?”</p><p>For so long, Kara hated any line of questioning regarding her feelings. The asker seemed to expect something more from her than she was capable of providing. Her signature response was ‘I’m fine’. It was perfunctory and instinctual at this point. She would grit her teeth, knit her fingers together, and the words fell out.</p><p>Disappointment was the typical reaction she received. They expected something other than her repetitious and false ‘I’m fine’. She knew that. Sometimes she almost expressed what was happening inside of her, but then she held back. It was like being locked behind a door.</p><p>Shrugging, Kara twists a key in the deadbolt. “Surprisingly, I don’t mind,” she admits. When Lucy remains silent, Kara cranes her neck toward her as she jimmies the key in the trick lock. “Wha— <em>oh</em>,” she says.</p><p>“It’s so unusual to hear anything aside from the word fine when someone mentions how you’re feeling.”</p><p>Kara scuffs her shoe on the welcome mat, her ears feel overly warm. “Yeah, I know. I guess I want to start being more forthcoming about my feelings. It isn’t fair to the people who love me. You’re just trying to help.”</p><p>When she hears the faint click, Kara joins Lucy. Looking out at the water this time, she realises that longing that resided in her for years has been silenced. She’s not naive enough to believe it’ll never well up in her again. But yesterday had done a lot for her. It felt freeing to release all of those pent up emotions she had held onto for years, and let them go far away from her.</p><p>Lucy rests her hand on Kara’s. “That’s all we’ve wanted. I know how much reality sucks and that feeling of wanting to runaway from it.”</p><p>“There’s no getting over it. I have to get through it.”</p><p>For too long, she believed that she had to get over it. It was stupid to be so hung up on something that happened ages ago, especially when her memories were so murky. But Lucy’s words hit her hard. Grief has no timeline. Resolving her issues with her parents death will take a long time. As she grew older, her feelings grew more complex as other emotions took centre stage. And it’s going to take time for her to sift through her feelings, to process.</p><p>Lucy’s gleaming green eyes meet hers. Her mouth curls at the corners with something akin to pride on her face. “So… this is your childhood home?”</p><p>Kara looks out at the still water, the grey light of morning, the treetops dancing in the breeze, and she grins. “Yeah, this is where I grew up,” she replies. “That tree over there”—she points to the giant oak on the edge of the property—“it got me into some trouble. I— well let’s just say that I didn’t step back from a challenge.”</p><p>Lucy snorts. “You still don’t. Remember the keg party?”</p><p>Kara’s face colours with embarrassment. It was stupid, but at the time, she just had to accept the dare. She wasn’t some prissy ice skater who couldn’t hold her alcohol. So when the dare came from one of Katie’s sorority sisters, Kara jumped out of her seat to do it. “Okay, you may have a point. But those frat boys sure thought it was impressive. They even put my picture up in their frat house.”</p><p>“Yeah only because none of those idiots know how to hold their alcohol, nor can they balance in a perfect handstand like you. I mean Jesus Christ that was fucking amazing. Though maybe never mention to your parents that I took you to a frat party when you were nineteen.”</p><p>“I think my mom suspects. She came to visit the next day and wondered why I was so winded on the ice. She kept staring at me all weird too when I kept my sunglasses on at lunch.” Her mother gave her the eerie impression that she knew all of her secrets. There was something about the <em>look </em>she got in her eyes whenever she suspected something was amiss. Eliza was like a detective with her carefully phrased questions and many observations. Kara and Alex had to work doubly hard to pull one over on their mother.</p><p>“Your mom is scary. There was one time when she stayed over and I was coming back late. Let me tell you, she scared the shit out of me. Gave me the third degree and everything about where I’d been, who I was with, and what I’d been doing. I didn’t even mean to tell her everything, but it came slipping out.”</p><p>Kara winces with empathy. Her mom has a real talent for dragging the truth out. It was like she was compelling it out and Kara couldn’t resist. “Yeah, Eliza Danvers is a shark. It took effort to get away with anything. She never found out about the tree incident where I climbed to the top of that oak. She would’ve skinned me and Alex alive.”</p><p>Lucy glances between Kara and the tree, frowning dubiously as she tries to imagine her best friend climbing. It’s not that she thinks Kara incapable. But she’s never really known Kara to spend a significant amount of time outside. Then again with the schedule her friend keeps, there was hardly any time for her to bask in the sun’s rays or anything Lucy considered remotely fun.</p><p>With a roll of her eyes, Kara sets off impetuously to prove that she is an excellent tree climber. Lucy is hot on her heels, attempting to talk her out of it. “Look, I didn’t mean anything by it. You really don’t have to do this.” She says in a pleading tone.</p><p>Kara won’t be placated. If she has to climb the damn tree to prove she can, she will. Kara is already scaling it by the time Lucy catches up to her, clutching the stitch in her side. “Jesus, I really should start running with you,” she calls up to Kara.</p><p>“You’re an idiot. Kara, this isn’t necessary.” Lucy watches anxiously as Kara finds a strong foothold and continues to lift herself up. “Please come back down.”</p><p>“No,” Kara says mulishly. She nearly loses her grip, managing to hold on as she manoeuvres herself around the tree. She’s climbed the tree over a dozen times. She knows where to stick her feet and which branches are sturdy enough to bear her weight.</p><p>Back on the ground, Lucy chews on her nails. She hadn’t actually thought Kara would do this. But it also isn’t a surprise. Kara never backs down from any dare.Lucy sighs, ever watchful with hawk-like eyes. “If you break anything, I want it to be known that I said it was a bad idea.”</p><p>“You sound like my sister. Honestly <em>chillax!” </em>Higher and higher Kara moves until she nears the top of the canopy with a triumphant grin. “Hah!” She clings to a branch with one hand and pumps her other arm into the air. “Told you! Take a photo, I wanna post on insta”—she flexes a bicep—“for all my followers. Man the view from up here is amazing. I forgot how pretty it was.” The light filters through the canopy, casting a soft golden glow. Kara lifts a hand to the stream of light, marvelling at the vibrancy.</p><p>“Oh my god,” Lucy moans. “Please tell me this isn’t for your girlfriend?”</p><p>“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Kara retorts.</p><p>“Sure and I’m dating Orlando Bloom,” Lucy quips. She kneels and angles her phone to capture the light just right. She snaps a few photos to give Kara a wide selection. She learned her lesson years ago when Kara wouldn’t stop complaining about blurry photos and bad lighting. “Alright, I just about filled up my camera roll. Will you come down now?”</p><p>Heights have never been Lucy’s thing. Her sister was the tomboy, not her. Lucy inherited all of the charm, tact, and of course the only thing she shared in common with Lois was their lack of patience and matching tempers. They were as different as night and day. Lucy kept her feet on the ground while Lois’ head was in the clouds. They contrasted in nearly every way, almost like her and Kara. Some of the traits she found annoying in her sister, she admired in Kara.</p><p>Watching fearfully, Lucy tries to remain calm. It helps that Kara does seem to have some skill at climbing. She’s careful and attentive of her movements, even pausing a few times to give herself a rest. Lucy’s stomach does a few somersaults as Kara continues to scale down the gigantic tree— finally settling when both of Kara’s feet touch the ground.</p><p>“Oh thank god,” she mutters, rushing to Kara. She throws her arms around her neck. When she pulls back, she flicks Kara’s forehead and punches her arm.</p><p>“Ow, what the fuck?” Kara exclaims, rubbing the tender spot. “What’d you do that for?” She grumbles.</p><p>“For scaring the living shit out of me,” Lucy says, scowling.</p><p>“Lucy,” Kara laughs. “I was never in any real danger. When I was twelve, we nailed boards into the tree. We were going to make a platform, but it sort of fell through. Then Alex went off to college and I went off to the city, so my parents never got around to it.”</p><p>“Wait, you didn’t actually climb the tree?”</p><p>“Well I did, but I had some assistance. My parents busted me when I was eleven climbing the tree again. They decided to add some safety precautions since I wouldn’t stop. Eventually, I did. It was much too risky to my budding skating career,” Kara explains.</p><p>“Well you still deserved that punch.” Lucy sniffs disdainfully.</p><p>“Okay that’s fair.” Kara’s ears prick when she catches the faint noise of snapping twigs and crunching leaves coming from just past the copse of trees. Whipping around, she groans. “Fuck,” she mutters. It’s her parents’ neighbour. </p><p>“What’s wrong?” Asks Lucy.</p><p>“It’s my demonic neighbour. I used to babysit her when I was home.”</p><p>Kara swore never to babysit another child again. The closest she got was overseeing the beginner classes at the rink. She refused anything one on one after that devil spawn.</p><p>Little Connor Peters was the nastiest child she’d ever had the pleasure to meet. Then she met the girl’s parents and the puzzle pieces fell into place.</p><p>“Oh look it’s the <em>has been</em>,” the little monster taunts. “My mom says you’re a loser. That you just got rich to show off and now you’re a wastrel”—Lucy’s brows shoot up in surprise—“she says you can’t even get a real job since you wasted so much of your time on a fake job.”</p><p>“Look here you little devil, you’re trespassing on my family’s property. I could call the police and tell them about some of your other delinquent activities or you can get the hell off. I told you last time that you weren’t welcome, or I’d call someone to perform an exorcism.” </p><p>“Ha ha very funny, you should add comedienne to your failed list of careers.”</p><p>“Yeah and you can add future high school dropout to yours. I overheard your mom talking to mine. I hear summer school is <em>really</em> fun.”</p><p>Connor glowers indignantly at her. But Kara has had enough of this child to last a lifetime. Traumatised from the experience of babysitting this child, she was almost forced to apologise when the demon had lied and convinced her parents that Kara had caused her to trip in mud when they went down to look at the water. Luckily, Kara’s parents had never much liked their neighbours and when they showed up haughtily demanding an apology, her dad stood up for her.</p><p>Jeremiah refused to allow their snooty, rude neighbours to pressure her into apologising. While it was an accident and she felt awful about what transpired, it wasn’t as if she had shoved the girl into the mud herself.</p><p>Quite a bit of distance separated their family property from the Peters’. It was rare that she ever found herself interacting with them. Her mom, Eliza, hosted a weekly book club, which included nasty Mrs. Peters. And all of them usually were in attendance at the Fourth of July celebrations.</p><p>Still, her parents were frosty to the Peters after the <em>incident</em>. Her mom warned other mothers of the nightmare child and saved other young babysitters from making the same mistake.</p><p>“Yeah well I hear your sister is finally married. It’s nice that even dykes can get married.”</p><p>Gritting her teeth, feeling a vein pulsing in her temple, Kara has to remind herself that Connor is a child. <em>She’s a child… she’s a child… she’s a child. </em>She knows it’s really the brainwashing of her parents, but still hearing her sister demoted to a dyke and washing away all of her other achievements, irks Kara to no end.</p><p>“Go home Connor, or I’ll infect you if you’re so worried about <em>dykes.”</em></p><p>Connor’s eyes bulge and she backs away from Kara before turning and scurrying off with a yelp.</p><p>“I bet that girl’s head could do a total 360.”</p><p>“Oh it definitely can,” Kara agrees. “That little shit is obnoxious and her parents are even worse.”</p><p>Lucy grimaces. “How familiar are you with her?”</p><p>“I was her babysitter for three weeks before she lied and told her parents I shoved her into dirt. She tripped, pitched a fit, complained endlessly about what I fed her. Then she stole one of my costumes and tried to say I gave it to her,” Kara says, scoffing at the absurdity. “I quit. They’ve had a hard time finding a babysitter ever since.”</p><p>Lucy bumps her shoulder. “Okay little monkey, you ready to head out?”</p><p>Kara holds her breath and counts to three before releasing it. “As ready as I’ll ever be,” she says. “Do you think I can drive?”</p><p>“God no, you’re a terrible driver.”</p><p>“No! I’m not.”</p><p>“That time with the bir—“</p><p>“That bird flew into the car.”</p><p>“Or that time you nearly killed us when switching lanes.”</p><p>“I’m telling you that car came out of nowhere. It wasn’t there.”</p><p>Lucy snorts. “Sure, but you’re still not driving my car.”</p><p>“B-but Lucy,” Kara says, pouting.</p><p>“Nope, but I’ll let you control the music. On one condition”—she points a finger at Kara—“no more sad shit.”</p><p>“Deal,” Kara agrees with a grin. She sprints up the sprawling green sea, twirling and laughing as she goes. “Love is in the air, I think.”</p><p>“Oh no,” Lucy groans.</p><p>Some of Kara’s good mood evaporates as they enter the city limits of National City. Her insides are all twisted like balloon animals. The city shines the same as ever, skyscrapers jutting upward in the city centre, gleaming in the golden sunlight.</p><p>Her heart beats wildly in her chest, jumping to get out as they near their destination. The parking lot is mostly empty as it usually is on a Thursday. Weekdays were usually reserved for private ice time and lessons, while many parents hosted parties on the weekend. It was strange to be back after so long and somehow feel as if the last year was a bad dream.</p><p>Lucy smiles, consolingly. “You’ll be fine. Call me when you’re done,” she says before peeling out of the lot.</p><p>With a forced calm, Kara steels herself and walks through the double glass doors of the rink. The smell of chocolate and burnt popcorn lingers in the air as she passes concessions. A figure loops around the ice. Music pounds in her veins as she puts one foot in front of the other.</p><p>It becomes a struggle to keep moving, but this is the way forward. There’s no more trying to go over. Keeping her breaths even and steady, Kara walks around to the other side of the rink where a long figure leans against the stands. Stopping ten feet away, Kara silently observes the woman.</p><p>Not a single strand is out of place on her perfectly coiffed blonde head. Her clothes are impeccable and neat, tailored to her body. Then again, she knows for a fact the woman has all of her clothes custom made to suit her needs. She refuses to buy off the rack, calling it pedestrian. Kara used to laugh and called her a snob. But she did learn the value of a good designer and hand stitched costumes, handled with delicate care. She had learned much from this woman.</p><p>Under her coach, she mastered her craft. She studied the techniques of multiple skaters, accepted any and all criticism, and grasped the true reality of the journey she was embarking on. To outsiders, skating was pretty and seamless. The audience understood that a lot of training was involved to become an elite skater, but the concept is so much different from the reality.</p><p>
  <em>Sacrifices were made. Kara was willing to do anything to earn her place at the top with all of the other greats. She refused to be mediocre, so she sought out one of the best coaches in the country. When the coach finally agreed to come out and observe her skating, she thought the bottom of her stomach had dropped.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Transitioning into higher level skating required a coach with experience. And Cat Grant had experience. She had coached multiple Olympic skaters and World medalists. Kara had no idea how she would prove that she was adequate.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Even by the end of Cat’s observation, Kara could not ascertain whether or not Cat enjoyed her skating or believed she had potential. She had hung her head low, preparing herself for the inevitable rejection, her heart resting somewhere near her feet. It was too good to be true and any minute, Coach Grant would tell her what a waste of time it was to come and see her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Except none of that happened.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Instead something kinda funny transpired that day. Coach Grant was renowned for rarely being impressed. It took something truly spectacular for her lips to curve into even the slightest of smiles. But that day… that day, she was positively beaming at Kara. Her hazel eyes gazed at her and there was a twinkle as she approached Kara. Her eyes were calculating as she eyed Kara, raking her eyes up and down her. She tried not to squirm, hiding her wringing hands behind her.And then Coach Grant spoke, “I’ve seen a lot of skaters in my day. I’ve trained dozens, but you… I can work with this.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kara snapped her head up so quickly, she was afraid she would have whiplash. “Wh-what?” She gasped.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Coach Grant pursed her lips thoughtfully. “I don’t say this to many people or ever really, but you’ve got something special. If you’re willing, I can mould you into a force to be reckoned with. I need to know you’re serious. I’m not going to waste my time on a girl who will quit as soon as she’s broken a nail. I don’t train weak athletes. Do you understand? Are you strong or are you weak?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kara stood there, staring blankly. This was it. This was her opportunity. She had two options laid out before her. She could remain with her current coach, perhaps managing some minimal success, or she could grasp destiny as it stood in front of her face. Coach Grant was offering her everything she had ever desired. She wiped her clammy hands on her skirt. This was a big decision.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’ll tell you what. I’m still in town for another day. I’ve timed this with a visit to my mother though a nastier woman never drew breath. I’ll give you until tomorrow to decide, Kira.” She swung on her coat and sashayed away, the fabric billowed around her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cat was a formidable woman. Sort of terrifying, but every time she considered the alternative of declining the offer, there was a cold plunging feeling in her chest. It was unpleasant and unsettling to think of her dreams, a professional skating career dying right there, and her not putting up a decent fight. She was certain that her future laid with the diminutive coach who intimidated even the male coaches with her shrewd expression and cutting remarks. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>So before she could talk herself out of it and after many hours practicing her words carefully in the mirror, she finally picked up the phone and dialled Coach Grant. “I want this,” she said without preamble. “I want to train with you. I don’t care about bruises or broken finger nails. I will work harder than any skater you’ve trained. I’m going to be the best. This is what I want. This is all I’ve ever wanted.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Then I’ll see you next Monday, Kara.” There was a click and the line went dead.</em>
</p><p>Seeing Cat again brought forth all of her memories. They came bursting out of her like fireworks in the night sky. Kara shivered not from the chilly air, but the possibility of a frosty reception from a woman who had a hand in raising her. Like Lillian, her mom, and her mama, Cat was another figured who had helped sculpt her. The others were soft in their approach. They gave hugs and kisses, baked cookies, or helped with schoolwork.</p><p>Cat was a different breed of maternal. She provided the backbone. She gave Kara the tools to succeed. She taught her how to be resilient. She pushed her to her best and supported her when she fell. She gave fair criticism and showed her how to apply it. Leading by example, Kara learned how to shake off her losses by following Cat.</p><p>The woman didn’t get to where she was by constantly winning. She had losses of her own both personal and professional. It was by watching her handle them with grace and dignity that Kara began to accept some of her own.</p><p>Whenever asked, Kara will say she has four mothers. Because it took four incredibly strong women to build her up. Despite everything that’s happened, she knows that she has to face her. Squaring her shoulders and holding her head up high, Kara proceeds to walk. It no longer feels as if she’s walking to her doom. The weight pressing on her shoulders lifts and her lungs no longer feel like she’s taking in water.</p><p>The knot of dread in her chest recedes. She can do this. If there was anyone she had done wrong in the last year, it was Cat. Ignoring her phone calls, texts, and worried emails, Kara announced her retirement through her Twitter without dropping a single word to her coach. Whatever Cat dishes to her, Kara will take it. She can handle it.</p><p>“Are you going to stand there all day simpering like a little school girl or are you going to get on with it?” Cat says pointedly, though her gaze remains fixed on the ice.</p><p>Clearing her throat, Kara braces herself for what’s to come. “Uh—Cat?” She croaks, sounding like a bullfrog.</p><p>Time seems to slow around her as Cat motions to the skater on the ice. “Okay <em>Bailey</em>, that’s it for today. I’ve suddenly got a headache from the glare of the lights on your outfit. Tomorrow try not to wear something so eye-watering. You look like a giant highlighter. If you’re trying to show off, you should know skaters with talent don’t have to try so hard to be <em>seen.</em>” Kara coughs to repress her laughter.</p><p>From the indignant expression on the girl’s face, Kara has a feeling the girl doesn’t understand, nor appreciate Cat’s acerbic wit. She shakes her head with a fond smile, <em>same old Cat</em>, she thinks.</p><p>The girl glides off the ice, stomping over to her things. She throws all of her belongings into her bag, scowls at Kara, and storms out of the rink.</p><p>The next few minutes are agonising as Cat refuses to so much as glance in her direction. Swallowing her guilt and a little bit of her pride, which doesn’t really cost her anything—at least not like it’s costing Cat everything to stand there, white fingers digging into the boards— Kara makes the first move. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” starts Kara. “I should’ve talked to you before I did anything. You’ve accused me of being rash in the past. I don’t think I’ve ever really learned how to think before I act”—she wrings her hands, struggling to find her words—“I’ve been running away from my problems for a long time.” Her admission relieves some of the tension in her shoulders and she rolls them back.</p><p>“I did you and myself a disservice by quitting how I did. It was disrespectful. You didn’t raise me to be like that. And I promised you when we started that I was no quitter…” The words are said in a hushed whisper. </p><p>“I don’t think you’re a quitter Kira,” Cat says. She winces. It’s been years and years since Cat called her by the wrong name.</p><p>“I’m not,” Kara says forcefully. “I should’ve never quit. Skating wasn’t the problem. It was <em>me.”</em></p><p>Cat loosens her grip and turns to face Kara. She looked nearly the same as when Kara last saw her, except around the eyes. She looks tired and older like the last year had aged her significantly as well. Her hazel eyes glimmer and after a moment of gazing upon Kara, almost fondly, she gestures toward the stands.</p><p>“You don’t seem surprised to see me.”</p><p>“In truth, I’m not. I’ve suspected you would turn up again,” Cat replies.</p><p>“How’d you know?” Kara frowns thoughtfully. “I <em>didn’t</em>.”</p><p>“Skating isn’t a hobby or career for you. It’s a part of you. I’ve trained many skaters. You were different. You didn’t cry if you fell. You kept going. You lived for the sport, always ready to try something new and add your own twist. It was never about the competition for you. Did you enjoy winning? Yes, but who wouldn’t? It was about the sport itself. You liked the freedom the ice offered and the beauty of skating. You were never caught up in the glitz and glamour. So I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist forever. It took a little longer than I imagined but I knew you’d return.”</p><p>“That day,” she swallows thickly, trying to speak over the lump forming in her throat. “That day at training, I didn’t quit because I hated it. I quit because she stole something from me. She stole my security and destroyed the sanctity of this place. It always felt safe… like home. She saw me as her competition and in the beginning— well all I saw was her beauty and kindness.”</p><p>“People often mistake beauty for innocence and purity. However they can and often do hide ugliness and cruelty. If I had known—” Kara covers Cat’s hand with her own.</p><p>“It wasn’t your fault. For a long time I was convinced it was mine. I was dating her. I ignored all of the signs. A few people had to knock it into my head that it was her problem. She chose to do that and I was caught in the crossfire of her battles.”</p><p>“What I’ve learned in my life is that sorrow and joy are bedfellows. They live side by side. Without one you can’t ever really have the other. You’ve had sorrow in your life. I like to think you’ve had some goodness too and that there’s more ahead of you.”</p><p>“I have. Some of my best memories are here. Some are… other places.”</p><p>Cat’s head tilts slowly, and she gives Kara a significant look. “Kara Danvers, are you in <em>love</em>?”</p><p>She shrugs. “I guess”—she shrugs given the complexity of the situation—“But I don’t think it’s going anywhere. I kinda—er—well I sort of ditched her the morning after and fled back to California.”</p><p>“Oh Kara,” Cat sighs dismally. “Are you going to apologise to her?”</p><p>“I don’t think that she wants to hear from me. I wouldn’t.”</p><p>“Well you let her be the judge of that. If she decides to contact you, I say you open yourself up to the possibilities. It’s time you stop hugging the edge of the cliff and take the plunge. You never know what’s going to be at the bottom.”</p><p>“I came to apologise and here you are trying to make me feel better.”</p><p>“What can I say Kara, I’m a woman of many talents,” Cat says, flipping her golden curls. “Now get your ass out on that ice. You owe me at least an hour of skating if I’m to take you back.”</p><p>Kara freezes. “Er—what?”</p><p>“You heard me.”</p><p>“But I don’t even have skates.”</p><p>“Lucky for you that you’ve got friends. <em>Orphan</em> <em>Annie—</em>” Kara snorts with the realisation Cat is referring to her roommate, Katie— “dropped them off this morning. Now you’ve got no excuse which you know tire me.” She yawns and waves her hand dismissively.</p><p>“Um—but I haven’t skated in a year,” Kara says.</p><p>“Tick tock, I’m waiting Kira. We don’t have all day. If I’m expected to get you back into peak shape, I’ve got see what I’m working with. I’m already dreading cleansing the grease from all that fried food. And I can’t even imagine how dreadfully out of breath you’ll be. I don’t want to hear any huffing or puffing. You’re not the wolf from <em>The Three Little Pigs</em>”—Kara rolls her eyes—“I saw that. Now go on,” Cat says, gesturing toward the gleaming ice.</p><p>Defiantly, she crosses her arms. It was one thing for Cat to order her around when she was a child, but well… she’s a grown woman, except she’s a grown woman slightly petrified of her coach’s reaction. She glances up and wishes she hadn’t. Quailing under Cat’s fierce glare, Kara jumps to her feet within seconds and scurries over to her belongings.</p><p>Kara takes her time lacing up her skates. When she can delay no longer, she heads for the ice. She hesitates before her blade touches the ice. Closing her eyes, she takes a deep breath, feels it expand in her lungs before slowly exhaling. Fear jabs her insides like needles. What if she can’t do it anymore? And there’s still the lingering worries of what happened last time she skated.</p><p>She remembers the resounding <em>CRACK</em> when her head hit the ice. Everyone’s faces were a blur of colour, moving in and out of her peripheral. Tears spilled down her cheeks and she can still hear her own sobbing over the din of voices. She hesitates at the gate. Maybe she isn’t as ready as she thought she was.</p><p>Her confidence dented by her plaguing worries, Kara leans back, clutching the gate tightly. The world starts to go black at the edges and she realises, she’s not breathing. Gasping and gulping in huge intakes of air, Kara tries to ignore the swooping sensation in her belly. <em>I can’t do this</em>, a voice says. <em>Yes, you can!</em> A loud one retorts. <em>You’ve been skating your whole life. You were born for this. You’ve won countless medals. This isn’t even a competition. All you have to do is take the first step. Come on,</em> the voice cajoles. And she realises the voice sounds like her regular voice.</p><p>It’s not panicky or frightened like the voice she’s heard the last year. This one is full of confidence, full of belief and hope.</p><p>Taking one more breath and another, Kara steps out onto the ice. It’s like riding a bike. She does a few laps around the ice, stumbling a few times, but finds herself controlling her breath. It’s a little more intensive than her current regular workouts, but nothing she can’t handle.</p><p>And then the music starts.</p><p>Kara’s tinkling laughter chimes out over the rink. Cat is sneaky. She knows exactly what she is doing. Kara has to give it to her. The second she crossed the barrier, there was no turning back. This is where she belongs. It’s where she’s always been comfortable.</p><p>How could she ever have believed a life without it was possible?</p><p>Going through a few warm-ups, helps Kara get back into the swing of things. Once her muscles are sufficiently warmed up and her heart races madly in her chest, she finds the chilly air of the rink no longer affects her. The best way to keep warm is constant movement—though she does wish her roommates had brought a pair of her gloves and a warmer clothes (even if her current outfit is similar to her skating costumes).</p><p>Kara feels a frisson of excitement flow through her and with a burst of speed, she transitions into a camel spin. Her leg extends behind her into an arabesque, and she’s feeling thankful she kept up with yoga and ballet to maintain her flexibility. She manages to keep her leg high and her body seems to remember how to do the rest.</p><p>It’s easy to settle herself into a familiar flow as she strokes across the ice. Performing some basics spins like shoot-the-duck, Kara slips back into herself. A feeling of rightness overcomes her. <em>This is what was missing. </em>All of those months locked in her bedroom, labs, and offices, this is where she should have been all along. Skating came as naturally as breathing to her.</p><p>It’s all muscle memory. She keeps to singles and attempts a few doubles for her jumps, but she’s a little too weary to try any triples just yet. That’ll have to wait until she finds her rhythm again and gets back into training. For now, she focuses on controlling her movements with perfect precision.</p><p>Her lips curl into a grin when she hears the sound of grinding. It’s reassuring to hear the bite of her blades digging into the ice. It means she’s really exerting herself; she’s trying.</p><p>The landings are choppier than she’s accustomed to, but for not having skated since that fateful day, she won’t hold it against herself.</p><p>“Kira,” Cat calls out. Her voice stretches across the rink. Kara slows her movements and digs in her pick to halt her movement. “While I’m sure this is refreshing to whatever you’ve been doing, that axel was way too low and your takeoff was sloppy. This isn’t<em> Ice Princess. </em>There are no music montages where you magically improve in a few scenes. Get your head out of your books and show me that all my time wasn’t wasted.”</p><p>Kara let’s the words slide down her back like water. “Okay, any suggestions?”</p><p>“Plenty,” Cat says. “You need to lift your leg higher on those spirals. You look like a bird trying to take flight. Secondly, pay attention to your take offs and landings. And for all that is holy, tuck your arms in tighter. Do you or do you not study physics? I thought you were some kind of Einstein.”</p><p>“Yes,” Kara mutters sullenly. She knows tucking in her arms will create a smaller moment of inertia, thus increasing her rotational speed. It’s just she’s never spent so much time away from the sport. Readjusting is proving tricky. She’s out of practice.</p><p>“Start again,” Cat says, clapping her hands. Kara opens her mouth. “Shh… shh all I want to hear is the music and your blades. If you’ve got a complaint, leave it on my Yelp.”</p><p>“Chop chop!”</p><p>Deciding it will save her from a future migraine, Kara gets on with it. The sound of her blades gliding, digging, and slicing into the ice is like music to her ears.</p><p>She thinks Cat is fucking with her when the playlist shifts and Barry Manilow’s ‘Can’t Smile Without You’ filters through the speakers. Cat seems nonplussed by her glare and motions for her to continue. She’ll have to think of a sufficient way to get back at Cat later.</p><p>The absolute injustice of it infuriates her. While she’s prepared to resume figure skating, she assumed (which was totally her mistake for forgetting that it was Cat) she would have a few days, not immediately jump back into the swing of things.</p><p>Fatigue creeps into her muscles. Repeating the same sequences is exhausting, but Cat refuses to call it a night. Kara is allowed a single fifteen minute break to drink some water and use the restroom before Cat expects her back on the ice.</p><p>Taking her time, she rehydrates and relieves her bladder. She knows her coach will work her for at least the next 45 minutes. And here she thought cruel and unusual punishment was against the law.</p><p>“Alright, I want you to do as much as your free skate as you remember.”</p><p>Raising a brow, Kara stares dumbly at her. “My free skate?”</p><p>“Yes,” she says succinctly. “The one that you were practicing before the accident.”</p><p>Shaking out her arms and legs, waiting for the music to begin, Kara mentally prepares herself. Her eyes flutter shut as her mind works through the routine. She stumbles over some of the choreography, but she has a vague idea of what it’s supposed to look like.</p><p>“You’ll have to do singles for the jump, maybe a double or two. But I don’t want you injuring yourself. We aren’t at the circus. There’s no need to go all out,” Cat orders. “You need to believe that you’re amazing and talented because as much as I tell you, it only matters if you trust it, Kara. You can do this. Now I’m going to start the music.”</p><p>Kara bobs her head, drifting to the centre. The opening notes of ‘Journey to the Past’ wash over her and she’s off. She hops, jumps, spins—wheezes from the effort to keep up the pace, but Kara is on a roll.</p><p>The warning from Cat is in the back of her mind, but her body and mind disconnect. It’s almost like she’s floating, watching herself as her double turns into a triple loop. Glancing over at her coach, something icy freezes her veins. Her body is still going, transitioning into the next sequence ending with an illusion spin.</p><p>Kara’s eyes round and her heart gives a jolt. As she comes out of her spin, it’s feels like her brain is rattling against her skull. She’s slightly dizzy.</p><p>Her eyes flicker over to where Cat sits, joined by a profile blurred at the edges from Kara’s own disorientation and the over-bright lights. But Kara thinks with a of shock recognition that she knows that dark hair.</p><p>Her thoughts splinter as her mind races. <em>Was it actually her?</em> She almost cranes her head back to the stands, but out of fear of inevitable disappointment, she elects to keep her gaze elsewhere. She shakes her head, upset with herself for being so stupid. Lots of people have dark hair including Lucy. So distracted is she—her mind whirring with one impossibility after the next—Kara fails to notice where she’s going or what she’s doing until—</p><p>
  <em>SMACK</em>
</p><p>Some of Kara’s exuberance fades a little as she falls flat on her back. She has enough presence of mind to relax her body before she hits the solid ice, but there’s still a smarting sting on her backside. <em>God</em>, she thinks, <em>I must be seriously pathetic if I’m hallucinating Lena. </em>The chances of Lena turning up were simply, “inconceivable,” she mutters.</p><p>She covers her face with her hands, blinking back tears. Her mind loops back to that fateful morning and regret surges through her. It’s the first time in days, she’s allowed herself to think of Lena and what she had done. Lena’s been at the forefront of her mind most of the day. If it weren’t for her, Kara doubts she’d be where she is. Meeting Lena had altered something inside of her, disrupted the boundaries she created. Ultimately the weekend had pushed her toward embracing her past—the good and bad. She wants to tell Lena about everything that’s happened since she left, but…</p><p>Lena should be back in Metropolis by now, toiling away in her lab or bossing around her exec board. Either way, she was on the other side of the country, probably cursing Kara’s name. The plastic place she would be is in National City, let alone—</p><p>“Kara?” And she knows that sweet lilting, melodic voice. It’s haunted her dreams the last several days. But it’s <em>impossible. </em>It has to be.</p><p>Her eyes widen when a pale face hovers over the boards, peering down at her worriedly with familiar green eyes.</p><p>“Fuck!” She cries out in a choked voice. Tears blur her vision and her cheeks prickle with heat.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>We are nearing the end, and I'm incredibly sad and happy. It's been such an amazing experience writing this story. I thank everyone who's left a comment or kudos or bookmarked my story. It's meant the absolute world to me. </p><p>Now onto the important stuff, I plan to do some outtakes for this story (like deleted scenes). If you have anything you would like to see, please leave it down below in the comments. </p><p>Find me on <a href="https://moon-mia.tumblr.com">
    <em>tumblr</em></a>.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Belated Birthday to Arlene (even though I already said it). Thank you for all of the encouragement and always thinking my stuff is great even when I don't. You don't know how much that means to me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Look, just don’t go making any promises. You let her do all of the talking. Make her grovel before you do anything,” Alex says, throwing her arms around Lena. “If you’re really set on going to see her”—Alex pulls back with a frown—“just be careful.”</p><p>“I would never hurt your sister.”</p><p>Alex rolls her eyes. “I’m not talking about her, <em>idiot. </em>I meant be careful with your own heart.”</p><p>“<em>Oh,</em>” Lena says dumbly. She hadn’t expected that at all. It’s an interesting dichotomy in which she’s found herself. She’s never dated/hooked up with a friend’s sister. So as new as it is for Alex, it’s just as new for her too. She’s not really sure of the precedent for such a thing given the rules they made up in their youth to prevent it from happening.</p><p>“I’m not heading straight to California anyway. I’ve got to go home first and take care of some things. I won’t drop my entire life for her. But,” Lena says, emphasising the word. “I do know that I need more of a balance in my life.”</p><p>“Good, I agree. Now you be a good CEO”—Alex pats her head, ignoring Lena’s glare—“scare them all with your ferocious glare, and then go to the girl.”</p><p>Lena laughs. “You know you’re starting to confuse me. You flip flop a lot.” Alex shrugs. “Don’t worry, I’ll be seeing the girl. I am irritated with her and have got a bone to pick with her.”</p><p>Understanding Kara’s issues doesn’t mean that Lena can forgive and forget waking up alone in her hotel room after their night together. They had reached levels of intimacy Lena had never experienced with another human being. It was more than disheartening to find nothing but a note after all of that.</p><p>And on top of that, Kara had gone incommunicado the moment she arrived in California. She texted her parents and then shut her phone off. While Lena has certainly had moments where she’d shut out her family when she felt they were invading her life, from what she does know about Kara and the Danvers, it’s less about the family unit. It’s about Kara.</p><p>Some people might find someone with an abundance of trust issues too much to handle, but Lena has never backed down from a challenge. She won’t push. If after saying her piece, Kara chooses not to see her again, Lena will accept it. It’s not in her nature to force someone to do something they don’t want to. Though, she secretly hopes Kara meant what she said.</p><p>While disappearing without a word certainly sends a message, Kara told her in plenty of other ways she cares about her. There’s no way for her to know if that was the intention or not, but she’s done living a life on pause. Everything is happening around her, and she wants a slice of the cake everyone raves about.</p><p>Cutting her knife into the cake terrifies her more than anything, but it’s her time to get what she wants. She’s not planning to beg or plead for Kara. That’s beneath her, nor does she believe Kara would respect her if she did so. Instead, she wants to simply talk, hear Kara’s version of things, and understand what happened.</p><p>The goal is to eventually work towards something of permanence. Starting over as friends is unlikely given all the ways in which they’ve become familiar with one another. But they don’t have to go 0-100 either. They have time to learn each other, to slow things down a bit, and take everything one day at a time.</p><p>“Try not to overwork yourself either,” Alex warns, drawing Lena from her thoughts. “Also give my sister a smack on the head for me?”</p><p>Laughing, Lena shakes her head. “That’s counterintuitive, don’t you think? If I want to make a go of things, I can’t be hitting her for her sister.”</p><p>Alex heaves a long sigh. “Oh fine, but please tell her to call.”</p><p>“That I can do,” Lena says, smiling. “I better go. My mom gets restless and goodness knows I can’t handle a drunk Lillian on the plane.” She steps closer and without any hesitance wraps her arms around her best friend. “It’s been so great to experience this with you. I’m incredibly happy you’ve found someone who loves you. Hold onto that,” she whispers. She pulls back with a watery smile and waves as she ascends the stairs of her family’s private jet.</p><p>Alex stands back and waves at her, calling out as Lena steps into the plane. “HEY LUTHOR!” Lena turns, eyebrows raised expectantly to find Alex with her hands cupped over her mouth. “YOU OWE MEA HUNDRED BUCKS!” She shouts. “YOU TOLD ME YOU’D NEVER BE INTERESTED IN ANYONE WITH THE LAST NAME DANVERS AND YOU SAID BLONDES WEREN’T YOUR THING.”</p><p>And so she had.</p><p>Twelve arrived with a flurry of feelings. Kids at school suspected she wasn’t into boys. No one was bold enough to call her out on it. Her peers sort of brushed it aside, finding other ways to tease her incessantly. When she finally told Alex, she was the least surprised, then cracked a joke about her being the stereotype of a lesbian in love with her best friend. She had scoffed, finding the idea slightly abhorrent. It wasn’t that her best friend wasn’t attractive, but she could never conjure anything more than friendship and sisterhood. It was too bizarre to imagine anything else happening between them.</p><p>Sometimes the thought made her a little green around the edges. She loved Alex. It would just never be like <em>that. </em>However, she had bet Alex that if she ever liked anyone with the last name Danvers, she would owe her fifty bucks. It never occurred to her at the time, someone else might come along bearing the last name.</p><p>Vocal about her feelings on blondes, Alex thought it would be hilarious and only fitting if Lena ended up with a blonde. Losing out on a hundred dollars isn’t really the issue, it’s the smug grin curled on Alex’s face.</p><p>Lena squeezes her eyes shut, a grin curving up the sides of her face. “A BET IS A BET,” she yells back before stepping across the barrier. With a rueful shake of her head, Lena heads into the cabin. She’ll grudgingly transfer the money to Alex. It was one thing to lose a bet. It was wholly another matter when said best friend rubbed it in her face.</p><p>Her mother is already on her own laptop, glasses perched on the end of her nose. Her hair is pinned back, and she’s made herself comfortable for the long ten hour flight back with a drink in hand. Lena takes a seat across from her, sinking into the cushioning. “Ahh,” she sighs happily.</p><p>It’s so much more preferable than the commercial flight she arrived on five days previous.</p><p>An aura of calm settles around her, wraps around her like a scarf. It’s strange to think of five days ago when her only pressing thought was finding the nearest drinking hole. She’d forgone greetings with her best friend in lieu of getting as drunk as possible to forget her woes. She was crumbling like pie in her attempt to take on everything and to prove she had what it took to run a successful company.</p><p>Perspective was what she lacked. She sees so much more clearly than she had done then. Shedding the stress from her life, Lena realises the world won’t end if she doesn’t stay late at the office every night or oversee every single project.</p><p>Work is important, but balance is the key to any fulfilling life. Much of her energy has been devoted to overseeing every facet of the company, proving herself, her education, and she’s exhausted from maintaining that constant level of devotion. While dedicated to her job and the success of her family’s company, Lena desires something beyond skyscrapers, society parties, and the latest product launch.</p><p>“Mom?”</p><p>Lillian hums in response, still staring fixedly at her screen.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>Her mom seems taken aback. Her gaze lifts and her eyes meet Lena’s. “For what, sweetheart?”</p><p>“For being my mom and friend,” Lena says shyly. “I don’t think I would be where I am today if it weren’t for your presence in my life. You’ve always known exactly what I needed. I—well, I appreciate everything. I just wanted you to know that.” She finishes lamely, tucking a strand behind her ear.</p><p>If anyone aside from herself is responsible for her success, it’s Lillian. It took years for Lena to learn the nuances of business, from bad deals to good deals, to recognise the liars and cheats, and how to carve a space for herself in a world where men dominated the top. She had watched her mother as a young girl navigate the cutthroat world of business where she created a mask to hide her feelings. Her mother’s first lesson was that she should never demand. If she wanted a seat at the table, then she needed to take it without an ounce of hesitance.</p><p>The sharks they encountered could sniff weakness like the ones in the ocean sniffed blood. If she gave an inch, they would take a mile. Lillian taught her never to compromise herself for there was always a better deal to be had. She had to become a master negotiator, convince associates that they needed her. And it was with that deft skill, she had managed to snag so many partnerships, increasing quarterly earnings. She had grown the company beyond everyone’s expectations, expanding into new fields like medical innovations.</p><p>It was all thanks to her mother. Neither her father nor brother had a head for business. Both were far too interested in their niche projects, and completely neglected the rest of it. Lena had a keen eye, knew when to call a bluff, and knew when to walk away from an opportunity. Her mother taught her that if she wasn’t prepared to risk it all, then she should leave. It’s been a good lesson to have in the back of her mind at all times. Life was too short to get stuck in the little things. There would always be more opportunities.</p><p>And in the here and now, there was an opportunity she couldn’t let go. It’s how she knew it was worth pursuing. Yes, Lillian had taught her everything she knew, and Lena soaked everything up like a sponge. Lillian taught her that the most important thing was for her to follow her heart, even if it meant others might disapprove.</p><p>“Ahh honey,” Lillian says, sniffling. “Just got something in my eye is all.” Lena snorts as her mom wipes her watery eyes with her sleeve. “Where’s all this coming from?”</p><p>Lena shrugs. “I-well— er— I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. You’ve been telling me for the last three years to slow down.”</p><p>Lillian’s words fell on mostly deaf ears. Lena was determined and had been resistant to her mother’s form of persuasion for years. She wanted everything done her way, to achieve success without anyone attributing it to someone besides her. So, she allowed her mother’s advice to go in one ear and right out the other.</p><p>Her mother straightens, eyes intent on her. Heat prickles the back of Lena’s neck, but she pushes onward. “I’m turning twenty-seven in a few months.” Her mother nods, well aware of her age. “I don’t want the company or this job to be my entire life. I just attended the wedding of my best friend since kindergarten. She’s managed to strike a wonderful balance between work and family life. She and Sam are there for Ruby and each other, while also supporting one another in their careers.” She swallows the lump forming in her throat.</p><p>The last thing she wants is to disappoint her mother, but what if… well what if Lillian doesn’t approve of Lena’s direction. Her mother holds a lot of sway with the board, more than she does, despite being majority shareholder.</p><p>Lillian blinks at her waspishly, though there’s something calculating behind her green eyes. It unnerves Lena how easily her mother reads her. With a sagging smile, Lillian reaches across and places her hand directly over Lena’s. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to be scared to tell me anything. I’ll support you whatever you decide to do. If you decide to sell our company for billions, well so be it. If you decide you’re moving back to California and relocating the company with you, I’ll still be here in your corner,” Lillian says with a surreptitious note in her voice. </p><p>While expecting the sentiment, the impact of the words hit Lena square in the chest and she lets out a sob. All of her fears have fallen away, replaced by a cup brimming with hope.</p><p>Over the course of their flight, Lena details her plans for the future of the company. She lays the groundwork for a relocation. All of her life, she’d been cosseted by her mother, her father, and her brother. She had yet to truly break free from their legacy and make a name for herself. Her weekend away prompted her to reevaluate her life and determine her next steps. Did she want to carry business as usual? Or did she finally want a slice of the pie?</p><p>Returning home proves to be a fruitful endeavour. After discussing some of the minor and major details of her plans for the company with her mother, they created a plan for how to enact everything. Lena wouldn’t be stepping back from her role CEO, but she would be making a few choice appointments to help balance out her work. She was tired of leaving her office long after her employees.</p><p>Before her trip, Lena can’t remember the last time she spent an entire day out in the sun beneath a bright blue sky. It was work, sleep, potentially eat a meal, and work again. It was a non-stop cycle.</p><p>Lena asked her assistant to draw up a list of candidates for her from within the company. She wasn’t really considering anyone outside as they lacked the detailed knowledge and with all of the other potential changes coming, she didn’t have the time to train anyone new.</p><p>“Jess,” she calls. Her voice ricochets off the empty walls of her office. Her assistant comes scurrying into the room within seconds, tablet at the ready, poised to type anything she dictates. Lena smiles fondly, and waves Jess down. “No, that’s not why I called you in here,” she says. “Please take a seat.” She gestures to the chair opposite of her.</p><p>Normally they would sit on the couches, but given the conversation she’s been stalling on the tracks, Lena felt it was perhaps best to have a more formal set up. </p><p>Jess tucks her skirt under her as she sits across from Lena. Her eyes flick side to side, and she grips her hands tightly. A little too belatedly, it occurs to Lena that her assistant thinks she’s about to get lectured or worse fired. It’s not common for them to talk like this, not unless Lena is in a snit about something or another.</p><p>“Shit Jess, you’re not in trouble,” she says, quick to disabuse her assistant of any such notion. It’s not in her nature to keep someone on tenterhooks, especially when they have done nothing wrong. “I actually invited you in here because I’ve got a proposition for you.”</p><p>Jess’ brows knit together, confusion marring her features. Her fingers loosen their grip, allowing for some blood flow. “What kind of proposition,” she asks, skeptical.</p><p>Lena suppresses a smile, rearranging some of the papers overflowing on her desk. “Well…” she draws out the word. “You’ve been such an amazing assistant to me over the years.” She looks up to discover the fear is back in Jess’ dark eyes. “I’m really making a mess of this, aren’t I,” she says rhetorically. “I promise I’m not firing you. I was actually looking to promote you elsewhere in the company. You’ve been the best assistant a girl can have. But do you really want to remain an assistant forever? You have endless potential. The sky really is the limit. I was reviewing your resume again and saw that you have a degree in business and minored in accounting. Is that something you’re interested in?”</p><p>No schmuck at math, Lena still hates going over the finances for her company. Sometimes it looks like gobbledygook, and she has to stop when her head starts pounding. Jess offers her assistance with some of it, redirecting money, and offering financial advice.</p><p>“I do like working with numbers.” Her eyes widen and she grins sheepishly. “Not that I don’t like being your assistant,” she adds hastily.</p><p>“I need someone in accounting who I can trust. Too many of the people there now were appointed by my father or brother. Some of them aren’t exactly loyal to me. I think you would do wonderful down there given the help you’ve been to me with some of the reports. I swear this company is still only standing because of you.”</p><p>Jess blushes. “Thank you, Miss Luthor.”</p><p>“Lena,” she corrects.</p><p>“Lena,” Jess repeats.</p><p>“You’ll be moved next week if that’s alright. I’ve got to file the paperwork and everything, contact the head of the department, but there should be no issues.”</p><p>“What will you do about an assistant in the meantime?”</p><p>“I figured you could interview some candidates for me. You know how I am and besides I’m going to spending a lot of time in California. I’m looking to start a branch there in the near future.”</p><p>The mention of a move certainly piques Jess’ interest. She lifts a singular eyebrow, gaze intent on Lena.</p><p>“Yes,” she says, clearing her throat loudly. “I haven’t announced anything as of yet. It’s still quite up in the air, but I want to move back to California. My parents are there and my best friend is moving back. I toyed with the idea a few times.” She really had. Moving to the east coast had been a lonely venture until Alex’s arrival for college. Boarding school gave her the tools to succeed academically, however, she never quite managed to cultivate long lasting relationships.</p><p>She missed the blue skies and the sun drenched summer days, the smell of warm grass, salt in the air, and trees. Metropolis was an endless cityscape, filled with jutting skyscrapers, smog skies, light pollution, the stench of car exhausts and rotting garbage. She hated the muggy summers with threats of thunderstorms and hurricanes and the freezing winters with icy roads and blizzards.</p><p>Something about her move east never sat right with her. She acclimated quite nicely and quickly, but it never felt like home. There was no Alex relentlessly teasing her, or Kara trailing haplessly after them. She’d missed her parents and her childhood cat, who died months after she left.</p><p>It left her with a raw ache. She felt like she was falling, continuously falling down a dark abyss with no bottom to catch her fall. That phone call nearly had her rushing back home, demanding her parents allow her to move back.</p><p>She hadn’t imagined that her companion of nine years would go to sleep one night and never wake again. Convinced it was a bad joke, she laughed it off until her dad told her they would be having Midnight cremated. Lena hadn’t even had a chance to say goodbye. While old, Midnight seemed in decent health when she left. And then she was gone.</p><p>Metropolis is a great city, but it’s not her home.</p><p>Jess straightens in her seat. “Would you be requiring people to relocate?”</p><p>“I will ask some of the employees if they’re willing, but many will likely turn me down. I’m mostly looking for those who don’t have ties to the area. I don’t want to uproot families if it’s not wholly necessary,” she explains.</p><p>“Miss Luth—Lena,” she says, smiling ruefully. “I would like to put my name down as a potential prospect. My parents live in Washington, and I mostly ended up here because of college. And then I got a job right after graduation that had good pay and benefits. If there’s a chance, even a small one that I can move closer without having to search for a new job, well I’m interested.”</p><p>Silence falls around them. Lena stares at Jess with something akin to surprise. Jess’ expression is so earnest that she’s momentarily taken aback. “Really?”</p><p>“Yes, flights from California will be cheaper or I can always drive. It’s just my parents are getting older and my sister is getting married—”</p><p>“Jess, you don’t have to keep explaining. I would be happy to have you come along with me.” Lena is quick to interrupt before Jess can hit her stride. “It’ll be some months before we have offices set up, but I wouldn’t mind if you helped with the process. You know nearly as much about the company as I do at this point.”</p><p>The ringing of the phone breaks the silence and Jess excuses herself with a sheepish smile. Lena hears her faint voice drift from outside the office, “hello, Ms. Luthor’s office, how may I help you?”</p><p>Last week, Lena was determined to stay in place. Her goal was to make it work. She cared little for her own comfort. Staying in Metropolis seemed a small price to pay for success. The money aspect is nice, but it’s never been about that for Lena. It’s about her family’s enduring legacy and preserving the business.</p><p>And the company can be run from anywhere. Her dad managed to travel back and forth until her brother took over. Lionel retired to a quieter life in National City, while her mom continued to run the family’s foundation, occasionally lending her help and exercising her power on the board. Her parents had figured out how to balance their work and personal lives without having to compromise too much.</p><p>Lillian helped Lena realise she had given so much of herself to the company. She sacrificed pieces of herself without noticing. And now, she wanted a breather.</p><p>Swivelling her chair, Lena looks out the fiery window; the sun burns red as it peeks through neighbouring towers. If she closes her eyes, she can picture the glare of the sun on the horizon, the colour of the sky reflecting off the ocean.</p><p>She’ll miss the view of a city on fire as the summer sun sets, but she’s gaining so much more than a view.</p><p>She’s starting her life.</p><p>Of course, there is a slight hiccup in her plan, her executive board. Lena’s seething silence permeates the boardroom as the board argues over the logistics and expenditures of such a move. A few members seem onboard with the relocation, while some feel wary and want more information. Then there are the old geezers who’ve been around longer than she’s been alive flat out refuse, citing her father as an example.</p><p><em>Typical, typical as fucking usual, </em>she thinks. It’s no secret some of the members loathe her presence and would’ve preferred if she were her brother or father. She refuses to give them any credence. If they want to leave the company, she knows she’ll be just fine without them.</p><p>Her hands curl into fists in her lap as she smiles placidly at them. It’s all well and good they constantly compare her leadership to that of her father and brother, but it’s the undermining of her authority that grates her nerves. A muscle pulses in her clenched jaw as she listens to them go back and forth, seemingly ignoring her presence at the meeting. She knows damn well it’s because she’s a woman, and many feel she has no place at the table. It’s like her mother said. It’s up to her to carve out a space.</p><p>Lena has never fully exercised her right as majority shareholder. She favours a more democratic process as opposed to a dictatorship. While it is her name on the building, these people have much of their money tied up in the company as well. Many of them she’s known since before she could see over the table.</p><p>It’s become apparent though that struggle or intentionally refuse to see her as anything more than that little girl begging to sit at the table, scribbling ‘notes’ with her crayons. She had tolerated it, believing it was possible to garner their respect. But now she sees that was naive of her. These are people accustomed to being the big kids on the playground.</p><p>“Enough,” she says. A current of shock flows through the room as a dozen pair of eyes land on her and everyone falls silent. She refrained form raising voice instead telling them in a detached calm to stop. Some of them sensed they had crossed some invisible line as they shifted uncomfortably when her gaze swept over them. It was finally time for her to lay down the law. “I’ve had it. I tolerated it in the beginning. I even understood it to extent. Now, I’m just tired.” Her thoughts thread quickly together, travelling directly to her mouth. “I will not tolerate anymore blatant disrespect. I am not going to be steamrollered.”</p><p>“We didn’t—” one of them mutters feebly, but Lena cuts across them.</p><p>“Yes, you really did. I’ve listened to you drone on about your yachts and private planes. I’ve listened to your endless retellings of your many rounds of golf. And I’m sick of it. I have devoted my life to this company. I poured my sweat, blood, and tears into it. I managed to turn things around when my brother mangled things up as usual. Yet somehow, many of you seemed to fail to notice. Our stocks have risen and are worth something again. We’ve increased our annual profits by over twelve percent. I know I run things different than my brother and father, and while I may not have a penis” —one of the board members chokes and a few others share tentative looks—“I am majority stockholder. I won’t be tolerating your insolence any longer.”</p><p>She catches her mother’s twitching lips and the proud gleam in her eyes.</p><p>“We are going to be looking to starting a branch in California that will become our main offices. If anyone has a problem with that then they are welcome to leave. There’s the door,” she says, pointing at the panelled oak doors. Lena will figure out how to buy out board members’ shares if it comes to that. Her anger quelled for the moment, Lena takes the opportunity to lay out her timeline and plans for remainder of the fiscal year.</p><p>When there are no objections or further inquiries, she dismisses the board. Several of them scurry out immediately, tail tucked between their legs. Lena smirks as she watches them depart from her place at the head of the table.</p><p>Her mother shakes hands with the last of them, closing the door before she turns to face her daughter.</p><p>Lillian claps slowly, smiling curling up the sides of her face. “Sweetheart, I’m proud of you. I know that couldn’t have been easy, but it was about time. I was moments away from making a cutting remark about Mark Peters and his current financial state.”</p><p>“I realised you were right about what I had to do. They would never respect me if I let them keep talking over me and shooting down all of my ideas. They’ve grown accustomed to being the loudest in the room, and I don’t have the patience for their brand of bullshit anymore.”</p><p>“Come let your old mom take you out for a congratulatory lunch,” Lillian says, a smile splitting her face. Tears trickle down her cheeks, running down her chin. She makes no move to wipe them away either. “I’m amazed more and more every day by the woman you’ve become. I hope you know that, honey.” Lena bobs her head, blinking back her own tears.</p><p>“Oh alright,” Lena agrees easily, sidling up to her mother. She slides her hand into Lillian’s. “I’m thinking that one Italian place with the really amazing—”</p><p>“Oh and the—”</p><p>“Yes,” Lena cries, nodding her head. She follows her mother out to the bank of elevators. Her day feels just a little brighter as she steps out into the blinding sunlight, navigating through a horde of pedestrians as she makes her way to the black town car waiting for them on the curb.</p><p>It’s what she needed to get her groove back. The days leading up to her departure are slow going as Thursday draws nearer. She flits around different departments in an attempt to distract herself from nerves. Anything could go wrong with this foolhardy plan. Alex believes her sister will be receptive to their brewing bromance, but Alex still isn’t Kara.</p><p>Before their talk, Lena thought Alex would be their biggest hurdle. She was a wild card, unpredictable and temperamental. It hadn’t occurred to her that Alex would be the easiest of the many obstacles in their path. It’s Kara who stands between them and their potential happiness like a heavy fog.</p><p>Lena doesn’t mind weathering it together; she hopes they can find a way forward. She just wants to know why Kara departed in such a cruel manner. It stung to wake up alone with nothing but a tear stained note left behind. It was almost like Kara hadn’t existed at all. The lack of communication with anyone after her vanishing act certainly gave off that impression.</p><p>She tried convincing herself maybe she was overestimating her own feelings, perhaps mistaking their dalliance for something deeper. Lena hadn’t dated or had relations in quite some time, so it was possible. It was natural to feel close to someone after spending time together… They were closeted together in their own world… it was only natural she would develop some kind of feelings… but the sinking sensation returned whenever she thought of someone else with Kara… making her laugh and sing. She wasn’t the type prone to jealousy, but thinking of some faceless stranger did funny things to her. Images floated through her mind of ripping them limb from limb or using them as an experiment in one of her company’s experiments. It would be easy to make it look like an <em>accident.</em></p><p>And she knew she would regret not doing anything. All she had to do was make the first step and cross her fingers that Kara would take the rest.</p><p>The morning of her flight, she wakes up dazed and slightly confused after several dreams featuring Kara and that faceless stranger. Alex made an appearance a few times, snatching back her approval them as a couple, and then chased Lena around throwing a soccer ball at her, yelling at her for taking liberties with her sister. By midday, Lena’s anxiety has settled a little after a few reassuring texts from her mom and Alex. Sam sends her own love and encouragement. Jess sends a thumbs up, assuring her that she’s got nothing to worry about on the home front.</p><p>It’s a nice reminder that she has people. If it turns out that nothing happens between Kara and herself, she’s got people in her corner who will be there for her. She’s not alone. Feeling cheerful, Lena emails the realtors back, confirming appointments for the following day. Her lightheartedness is short-lived, fleeing the moment she finds herself standing on Kara’s doorstep.</p><p>The building itself is in a nice part of Pasadena, airy and spacious with a working elevator and lots of light. The nondescript door taunts her as she lifts her fist multiple times to knock before lowering it once again. Looking down, she’s distracted by the welcome mat. Kara hadn’t mentioned owning a cat. She remembers the stray that used to hang around the Danvers home. Kara would leave food out to feed it, while Alex called her an idiot.</p><p>The black mat stands out against the industrial white walls of the hallway. It’s cats in the shape of the phases of the moon. It’s very Kara to have something like this to greet guests. It’s the only door on the floor with a mat. Though one of the doors does have a large potted plant beside it. Gazing at the other doors doesn’t keep her attention long enough, and she’s back to staring at the imposing sight of a blue door.</p><p>She’s never frozen up like this, but nothing has ever felt high stakes. She’s sat in on multiple business deals, negotiating ferociously to get a fair cut, and all of that felt like elementary school compared to this. The company’s stocks could plummet together, and while she would feel more than a twinge of disappointment, it wasn’t as bad as the feeling of finding out Kara had run from her. Part of her had known before she woke that Kara was gone, the warmth surrounding her, the soft snuffles, and the woodsy scent of juniper and lavender were absent. Still there was no preparing for the reality of it, of feeling around empty sheets, searching for a body that was miles and miles away. It was incomprehensible that after such an intimate night with shared truths and bodies that she’d never had a chance to say her piece.</p><p>That’s all she wants. She wants a chance to say the things that Kara refused to hear. It’s the only way to relieve the pressure from her chest and if Kara says no, well then she tried. She’ll be able to move on and try to find someone who is ready for all of it.</p><p>Steeling herself, Lena rolls her shoulders back. She knocks three times, gaze facing straight ahead. Lena hears footsteps on the other side approach the door. <em>You’ve got this! You can do it! Make her listen to you, or no… actually she’s the one who should do all the talking. You did just fly across the entire country for her. </em>Lena nods to herself.</p><p>A muffled voice tells her to wait a minute. She hears the sliding of a chain and the click of a lock before someone pulls open the door.</p><p>Taken aback by the stranger, Lena glances down at her phone to confirm that she’s got the right address. Her eyes flick between the gold embossed numbers on the door and the address Alex texted her. It’s definitely the same, but the woman at the door is definitely not Kara.</p><p>“Hello, how can I help you,” she says, smiling warmly.</p><p>The woman who answers is a few years younger than Lena. She has delicate elvish features with pointed ears and an upturned nose. Freckles are sprinkled across her nose and cheeks. A mass of curly red hair falls around her face. She’s quite pretty.</p><p>“Uh—Er— um yes,” Lena says, clearing her throat. “I was looking for Kara Danvers, but I think I have the wrong address.” She turns to walk away, fingers at the ready to call Alex when the woman’s arm darts out.</p><p>“No!” She exclaims, blushing when Lena stares at her. “It’s the right address, but Kara isn’t here.” Her protuberant hazel eyes sweep over Lena like an x-ray. A smirk curls her lips. “Ahh,” she says, “yes, it all makes sense <em>now</em>.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, but what makes sense?”</p><p>The woman shakes her head. “Nothing,” she replies. “If you’re in a hurry to talk to her, she’ll be at the National City Arena around three-ish. Otherwise, she probably won’t be back here until seven or so. You can come back tomorrow if—”</p><p>“Thank you,” Lena says, already dashing back towards the elevator. “Thank you so much for your help.”</p><p>While tracking Kara down at her apartment was a bust, Lena is filled with a renewed sense of hope. Was it true? Was Kara really at her old rink? She had stated in plain terms how much skating meant to her, and that she regretted giving it up. Was she going back? Is that why she was so radio silent with her family? Questions clog her mind as she considers all of the possibilities.</p><p>With a few hours to kill, Lena heads to her hotel. She finds herself thankful for small blessings that Kara is not in Pasadena, and will be making an appearance in National City.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> She can be patient. She's waited this long, so a few extra hours won't kill her.</span></p><p><span class="Apple-converted-space">The anticipation is nothing compared to the moment she does lay eyes on Kara again, though the impact is somewhat hampered by </span>Kara crashing.</p>
<hr/><p>She’s lost it.</p><p>It’s the <em>only </em>explanation for such a vivid hallucination. Seeing things can easily be explained away. People look like other people all the time. That makes sense to Kara. She could’ve confused someone else with Lena, pale skin and dark hair was a common combination.</p><p>Hovering too closely to hopeful, contacting Lena was something she’s e dared not think about until she had a real plan. While guilt she recognised as a sinking sensation, shame was wholly different. It weighed on her mind at all times, and just the thought of her actions had her recoiling in horror. She’d never set out to hurt Lena, but Kara supposes that’s not the point.</p><p>Instead of pulling on her big girl panties, she slipped out of bed with the intention of never returning, resigned to her own fate. She was okay with the potential of her own doomed future, at least in the beginning. But like feelings, life was fickle. It didn’t hurt that she had one of the most determined and supportive best friends on the planet. Kara had realised she played judge, jury, and execution for a relationship that had never started. She hadn’t given Lena or herself a chance.</p><p>The scrape of metal meeting ice draws Kara’s attention from her spiralling thoughts.</p><p>Seconds later or so it seems to Kara, she hears the sharp sound of blades on the ice. Casting a sideways glance, she’s startled to find Lena skating unevenly toward her. With her stomach writhing and her heart beating slightly faster, Kara staggers to her feet, feeling unsteady as her knees wobble, she stares a little dazedly at the person who’s the centre of it all. She’s half-convinced that Lena is an apparition of her guilty conscience. </p><p>“Lena?” Her head spins dizzily; the room blurs around her.</p><p>A wild hope rises in her chest as her vision clears and she realises that it is in fact Lena Luthor hovering over her. Her face is pinched with worry, eyebrows drawn together, but in Kara’s opinion, she’s never looked lovelier. It’s an unexpected but welcome sight.</p><p>No one has ever come after her. She was the one who did the chasing. When she was five, she tried to run out of her classroom to follow her parents, determined not to spend a single second in kindergarten. School was dumb. She didn’t need it to be a skater. She could learn much more from her parents. The teacher caught her before she took even five steps toward the door. Three years later, she chased the echoes of her parents. She saw the general direction they’d gone the morning they left. All Kara had to do was find them. Her aunt was a liar. Her papa said politicians lie, so her aunt was lying about them being dead. It was the only explanation because if her aunt was telling the truth… it was all real… and if it was real… then they were gone. She got as far as two miles before a police officer found her and returned her to Astra.</p><p>And then she spent the next several years chasing after a woman who didn’t want her. She would break free of her dad’s hold on her, screaming and pleading as she ran down the driveway, begging Astra to love her, knees scraping the pavement as she cried.</p><p>Back then, she wanted what she couldn’t have. She wanted to desperately to pull her parents from the grave. If they were alive, her life would go back to how it was. Her aunt and uncle wouldn’t argue over her. If they were around, someone would understand her passion again. Wanting Astra was different. With her, she wanted some semblance of the life she led. It was a connection to her heritage and most of all to her mother. Losing that connection broke her. She searches for love in the wrong places and found someone who made her feel like a star in public, only to hurt her in the dark.</p><p>And then there was Lena, different from all of them. </p><p>Lena had found <em>her</em>.</p><p>She moves to sit up, blood rushing to her head all at once. Nothing is sore, well except her pride. She flushes a light pink, caught up in the embarrassment of falling on her ass in front of Lena. It’s one thing to do it in front of hundreds of people or on live television—it’s not like she knows the majority of the people watching— but this is <em>Lena.</em></p><p>Lena kneels beside her, checking her head for any signs of injury. Kara sits quietly under her ministrations, silently observing this woman who flew thousands of miles to see her. Or she hopes anyway.</p><p>“Lena, I’m fine,” she says, batting away Lena’s insistent fingers. “I’ve fallen tons of times. My butt might be sore tomorrow, but there are no broken bones or head lacerations, or whatever you were looking for.”</p><p>Blinking rapidly to clear the stars from her eyes, she’s astonished that Lena is still there, pouting now, but she’s within touching distance. “Um thanks,” she says, turning a fiery shady of scarlet. “What are you doing here? How did you find me? I wasn’t aware LuthorCorp looked like an arena in California.” She’s satisfied with her ability to inject a note of whimsy into her words to keep them light instead of cynical.</p><p>The ice arena is the last place anyone searching for her would look. Kara hadn’t been back in over a year, so how had Lena known? The only people in the know were her roommates and Cat. Had someone seen her and posted about her on the internet? It was possible. Anyone hanging around the arena would have recognised her easily.</p><p>And then her mind halts. Wait… Lena lived six hours away by airplane. If Kara had to guess, she’s only been at the rink for an hour maybe two. Even if it had spread to Twitter and other regions of social media, Lena couldn’t have gotten to her in time… unless… but that was surely not it… was she…? <em>No</em>, she shakes her head, there’s no way. Yet her mind hasn’t conjured Lena. She’s inches from her, staring at her with… is that concern or nerves?</p><p>“Oh um I was in the area,” Lena says with a casual air.</p><p>Kara would almost believe her if not for her eyes flicking away. “Right,” she scoffs, derisively.</p><p>“I was,” she says haughtily. “My company is branching out to the west coast. I was coming to check out properties.”</p><p>“And somehow you managed to wind up miles away from the business district? In a place where I happen to be?” Kara crosses her arms. “I call bullshit.”</p><p>“Believe what you want,” Lena replies, pushing herself up. She manages to stand, her legs shaky.</p><p>“Do you need help?” Kara asks. She’s back on her feet within seconds, biting her lip when Lena struggles to keep her balance; she won’t touch her unless she asks for it. Kara knows some people prefer to struggle on their own, especially when they’re not good at something.</p><p>Much to Lena’s chagrin, Kara reaches out to steady her when it appears she’s going to topple over. Kara prefers not to help heave her up, or any potential injures that could arise. She is already going to be quite sore tomorrow, and wants to prevent Lena from feeling the same. Hitting the ice is painful. At this point, Kara is almost immune to it. She’s learned over the years to push aside the temporary pain. That’s all it really is. The blooming purples and greens mean she did her best and got back up in the end. Eventually, after many trials and errors, Kara’s perseverance paid off.</p><p>But this isn’t a training session and from all appearances, it seems Lena hasn’t spent much time on icy surfaces. A corner of Kara’s mouth lifts into a half smile as she loops her arms through Lena’s, and slowly helps her navigate back to the gate.</p><p>“Here you go,” she says. “Just watch your step.” Lena stumbles a little as she crosses the threshold; Kara manages to keep ahold of her as she leads her to the stands. “Have you never skated?”</p><p>Lena shakes her head. “No,” she says. “Aside from fencing”— Kara wrinkles her nose— “there’s nothing wrong with fencing! It’s a perfectly respectable sport.”</p><p>“Sure, sure whatever you say.”</p><p>“You’re an asshole.”</p><p>“Ahh, you been talking to my dear sister.”</p><p>By the time Lena has finished unlacing a single skate, Kara has already slid out of both of hers and slipped back into her shoes. Lena gapes silently at her. “H-h-how?”</p><p>“Lena, I’ve been skating basically from the moment I started walking. There was a time where I probably wore skates more than actual shoes.”</p><p>As a kid, she never wanted to leave the ice, constantly begging for ten more minutes. It was where she found a balance—everything worked in harmony. When she was off the ice, that’s when things became less clear, murky. Everything with skating made sense and that included knowing how to tie and untie her own skates at age 3.</p><p>“I think my parents were worried that I spent half my time with Alex and the other half trying to blow up the house. There was a bit of an overlap too,” Lena says, a note of wistfulness layering her voice.</p><p>“Do you need some help?” Kara half-hopes Lena doesn’t accept and half-hopes she does. It’s a different kind of torture having the immediate future up in the air. Kara knows business is not the sole reason for Lena’s presence in National City. Well, she prays it’s not. It’s just that it can’t be a coincidence that she’s showed up out of nowhere without any sort of warning.</p><p>Far from believing in fate, Kara believes in choices— she has faith in people. It had diminished for a time, smothered by a bad relationship and a series of personal disappointments. Kara chose to let go of the past and Lena (Kara thinks) is choosing to embrace the possibility of them.</p><p>“No, I’m fine. I should learn how to do it.” Disappointed by the brush off, Kara fiddles with her skates, trying not to read too much into Lena’s words. If she focuses on the implications, she’s sure she’ll fly away. Swallowing her giddiness, she backs off some.</p><p>
  <em>Keep it cool… be smooth… oh fuck, I’m totally fucked. Me, smooth?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Be yourself then. Who am I?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh for goodness sake… you’re Kara Danvers! Even without the medals and shiny trophies, you’re amazing! You can do this. She doesn’t like you for the awards or your talent. She just likes… well you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Go and kill it!!!</em>
</p><p>“Why do you look like that?” Lena is on her feet, standing closer than necessary. Kara can smell the subtle fragrance of vanilla.</p><p>“Like what?” She says, blinking rapidly to clear her head.</p><p>“You looked kinda constipated or something. I don’t know. Maybe it was a trick of the light,” she says, bending forward to pick up the skates. Her dark hair curtains her face. Kara had known from the minute she saw it that it belonged to Lena. She’s not sure how given their distance and the blur from the lights, but something in her told her that it was Lena.</p><p>Kara flushes scarlet, mumbling something about her ‘stupid face’ and ‘terrible mask’.</p><p>“Where did Cat go?” She asks, swivelling her head around, hoping to catch a flash of the blonde. It’s just them.</p><p>“Oh,” Lena says, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “She had to cut out. Something about dinner and a new restaurant, I don’t know.” She shrugs.</p><p>“Same old Cat, come on, we’d better return the skates.” Kara leads Lena to the other side of the rink where Jerry, the manager, spends his time behind the counter. “Hey Jer,” she says, waving.</p><p>“What’s up, Kara? Great skating out there. You’ll crush them this time next year.” Kara blushes.</p><p>“Aw, thanks,” she says, scuffing her shoe. “This is Lena. She’s my uh she’s my—”</p><p>“Friend,” Lena finishes. “It’s nice to meet you. Here are the skates.” She lifts them onto the counter with a loud grunt that muffles Kara’s snort of laughter.</p><p>“It’s still daylight hours Kara, why don’t you show your <em>friend</em> the boardwalk.” He winks and makes a shooing motion with his hands.</p><p>“Real subtle, Jer,” she grumbles.</p><p>“Like you know anything about subtlety,” Lena scoffs from beside her.</p><p>“I do!”</p><p>“Oh please, it took you forever to cotton on that I was flirting with you at the bar.”</p><p>“I thought you didn’t remember tha— no, no maybe you weren’t doing it right.”</p><p>Lena rears back with an indignant expression. Her nostrils flare and her mouth falls open in silence. “I-I-I,” she says, sputtering incoherently. “I’m an excellent flirter. I’ve been told by many wo—”</p><p>Kara laughs, cutting Lena off. “They just didn’t want to tell you how bad you were.”</p><p>“It worked on you, didn’t it?”</p><p>“Maybe I just thought you were pretty,” she says. “What I was thinking? You were a lot less pretty the next day.”</p><p>“Hey!” Lena exclaims. “Jerk!”</p><p>Kara catches Lena’s fist with a grin. “I grew up with Alex. I know how to catch a fist flying in my direction.”</p><p>With a startling realisation, Kara drops Lena’s hand like she’s been burned. She clears her throat, putting some distance between them, so as to give Lena space and keep her head clear. They had fallen back into their <em>thing</em> so easily. Kara responded almost without thought to Lena. It was natural to banter and tease. When they’re together, she feels like the lead in a silly teen romcom.</p><p>She releases her hair, the golden waves spilling down her back like liquid sunshine as they walk out of the rink. The sun hangs low in the sky as night draws nearer, giving everything a golden haze.</p><p>“So uh I guess we should talk?”</p><p>“Yeah…”</p><p>“I’m a bit hungry, and there are a lot of good restaurants down by the boardwalk. They revitalised them area a few years back. It’s really something, especially at sunset. I mean… if you want to that is. I’m sure you’re tired, and we can talk tomorrow or something.”</p><p>Lena cups her arm, smiling. “No, it’s fine. I’m hungry too. I don’t want to eat room service alone in my room when I could be spending time with you.”</p><p>“<em>Oh</em>, okay then.”</p><p>Kara’s eyes gleam with reflected gold from the sunset hovering just over the ocean. The burning orange sky paints a pretty canvas with its’ streaks of swirling pinks and purples. The water provides a perfect mirror for Kara to direct her attention.</p><p>Humming <em>Under the Boardwalk, </em>Kara waits for Lena to finish using the restroom. She had gone ahead to watch the sunset, marvelling at another perfect summer evening.</p><p>“I’m starting to question whether you really do know music from this century?”</p><p>Kara whirls around, nearly toppling over in her haste. Lena stands about a foot from her, lips curled in a mischievous smirk. Flecks of gold dances in her green eyes, and the breeze off the ocean plays with her hair. She’s a sight to behold.</p><p>“I have a well-rounded musical education,” Kara says haughtily. “It’s not my fault if you’re uncultured in the true classics.”</p><p>“I have excellent tastes myself,” Lena replies.</p><p>Kara raises a brow. “I don’t know about that.”</p><p>“And just what does that mean?”</p><p>“I mean it seems like you peaked in eighth grade with <em>Paramore</em> and <em>My Chemical Romance.”</em></p><p>A muscle in Lena’s jaw twitches. “I’ve seen <em>your</em> Spotify. I’m not sure you want to be taking the high ground.”</p><p>“Then you’ll know my selections are most refined.”</p><p>“Oh yes, all those break-up songs and sad-girl songs.”</p><p>“How did— ugh I’m going to kill Alex. Th-that’s private.”</p><p>“Not if you forget to turn off your listening history for followers,” Lena says, with something akin to a challenge in her voice.</p><p>“Regardless, that song is a classic and so is the movie where I heard it.”</p><p>“You’re like a little old lady.”</p><p>“Should I be offended?”</p><p>This time Lena grins. “No, not at all. It’s cute. You’re cute.”</p><p>“Thanks,” Kara mumbles, turning back to look at the sun and the sea. She soaks in the last rays of sunlight. Her gaze flicks every few seconds in Lena’s direction, averting her gaze when she catches Lena’s eyes.</p><p>Lena leans onto her forearms, silent as she contemplates the skyline. “It’s pretty. I haven’t watched a beach sunset in some time.” She laughs airily. “I mean before Hawaii. It’s never quite like this in Metropolis. The sunsets are pretty, but it always felt lonely.”</p><p>That is something Kara understand. “My mom told me loneliness was a choice, she was right. She’s really annoying that way.”</p><p>“I rarely ever noticed when the sun set or when it rose. I spent much of my time buried in paperwork or otherwise occupied in a lab or meetings. But I don’t want to waste anymore sunsets.”</p><p>“Let’s walk, we can talk more, and i need to burn off the calories from dinner. Cat’s already going to be after me for all the junk I’ve eaten,” Kara says, gesturing to the boardwalk. “My dad used to come down on my one day off during the week. We would come here. He would try and win me something, or we’d stuff our faces with fried food.”</p><p>“I think I’ve been here once. It was with Alex for her twelfth birthday. Your dad won us both huge stuffed animals, and then Alex and i did one of those water squirting games. I beat her.”</p><p>“<em>You </em>beat Alex?” Kara’s asks skeptically. It’s not that she disbelieves Lena’s words, but she also knows how insanely competitive her sister is. “I’m sorry, but what?” She can count on one hand the amount of times she beat her sister.</p><p>“Yeah,” Lena says at once, laughing at Kara’s gobsmacked face. “There’s no need to look like that.”</p><p>Kara shakes her head at the injustice of it all. “I can’t believe this.”</p><p>“Neither could Alex.”</p><p>The hazy atmosphere of the city blocks out the stars from shining in the indigo stained sky, streaked with crimson. Strolling along the pier, Kara tries to compose her thoughts. An apology is definitely on the menu, but she’s unsure of how to go about it. What does she say first? Does she start with the whole story and go from there? Does she begin with an explanation for her actions?</p><p>Her disorderly thoughts swirl in her mind like water ripples. Does she want to start small or big? Either way, she knows Lena deserves to know everything, or as much as she can share at the moment. There are parts even she doesn’t fully understand herself and she was a participant. But bearing witness and actively participating brings with it a sense of disorientation. Trying to smooth the wrinkles has done nothing for her. It’s only created more problems personally and in the relationships she’s managed to cultivate. She’s hurt a lot of people—one of them being Lena— and it’s time for her reckoning. If she’s going to stop running away from her problems, she knows the first step is to say something. She has to finally take a stand.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, Kara sighs. “I know it was a dick move to leave like that. I’m sorry,” she says, a note of sorrow layers her voice. “I can’t begin to explain what went through my mind. I’ll try to explain, if that’s what you want.” She glances slyly at Lena through her fringe of lashes, trying to stopper her rising hope. It fills her like a balloon, swelling in her chest.</p><p>“While it might not make you feel better necessarily, I planned it all at the last minute. I was able to book a ticket with a connecting flight in Honolulu. I didn’t tell my mom or sister.” Kara lowers her head, and the shame tumbles in the pit of her stomach.</p><p>She would rightly deserve it if her family ignored her phone calls. It’s not that she meant for any of this to happen. Her main priority was getting away and screw the consequences, but now, days later after she’s had time to think through her actions, none of it sits well with her. She kept it all to herself, never once entertaining the idea that her family could help. She was convinced she had to go it alone. Bridging the distance from even before the wedding, it’s not going to be easy. Kara is determined though because she loves family.</p><p>They annoy her and she annoys them. And her life without them is empty. There’s no one to pester her every Sunday about her eating and sleeping habits. There are no random texts from her sister between shifts at the clinic and med school, checking in and asking for her advice. Even her dad kept his distance, no longer popping in for a day on the boardwalk and walking along the pier, just talking. She missed them and she hopes they—</p><p>“OW!” Kara yelps, rubbing furiously at the spot where Lena punched her. “What was that for?”</p><p>“It’s from Alex,” Lena says, shrugging. “She wanted me to hit you. I made it a little harder because I owe Alex money now.”</p><p>“What?” Kara’s forehead creases in confusion as she continues massage her tender arm. “You’ve lost me.”</p><p>Lena’s ringing laughter fails to answer her question, so Kara stops walking with her. Lena turns with a questioning brow, and Kara crosses her arms.</p><p>“You know you look adorable when you pout like that.”</p><p>“M’not pouting,” Kara says, petulantly. She is, but she refuses to admit that to Lena.</p><p>Lena closes the distance between them. “Let’s sit,” she suggests.</p><p>Kara readily agrees to this, already feeling the fatigue in her muscles. She watches their legs dangle over the wrinkled black water. The sultry air presses on them; Kara pushes back her sticky hair and wipes the sweat pooling at her brow. It’s almost like being back in Maui, except when she looks up, there’s a glare from the lights instead of a velvety black, star-strewn sky.</p><p>There are no answers or distractions to be found looking at the stars. She closes her eyes, listens to the soft whooshing of the ocean, the music of the city, tastes the brine and grease in the air. She leans against the railing, kicking her feet a little when a cascading wave hits them. She squeals, laughing at Lena’s indignant expression.</p><p>Reminded of that final together, Kara sobers up. That night was magical and unforgettable, but it’s also been tarnished by the morning that followed. Kara booked a flight and was gone before Lena had a chance to notice or process her absence. Recoiling slightly, Kara hooks her chin over her forearm to give herself some more time. In the middle of her meltdown, Lena got caught in the crossfire. She was Kara’s collateral damage.</p><p>Kara was horrified by her actions. She knew what she was doing. She had refrained from making any verbal commitment to Lena, afraid of the potential future. The relationship played out from start to finish in her mind with only one inevitable conclusion, their ending.</p><p>“I wish I could say I hadn’t meant to do it,” she says after a few beats. “I was scared. You’re the first person that I’ve worried about ruining things with. Most of the people in my life have left me or didn’t want me.” Her hollow voice seems to echo.</p><p>“Why did you do it?”</p><p>Kara turns to her, eyes shimmering in the dusky glow of the city. “Because I didn’t want to be talked out of it. I knew that if we did, all of my fears would be abated. You’ve—when I’m—it’s like I forget the rest of the world when we are together. You make me feel brave like I can conquer the world.”</p><p>“Me?”</p><p>“Yes,” Kara says softly.</p><p>The admission lightens the atmosphere considerably. There’s no immediate offers of forgiveness, which Kara finds more than fair. She wouldn’t be lining up to forgive someone who did her wrong. She can be patient and she will be patient. Up to this point, she’s half-expected Lena to give her a tongue lashing before cursing Kara and the day she darkened a bar stool. She would deserve that, but that’s not the case. Her eyes slide to the figure glistening palely in the faded lights. Lena sits next to her, face pinched with neither pity nor revulsion. It’s smooth, not revealing anything, but that gives her more hope than a smile ever could.</p><p>Almost inexplicably, Kara grins.</p><p>It was strange to have her dreams come true.All the things she wanted for herself as a little girl, she had attained in some form or fashion. She had won countless medals around the world culminating in her show-stopping performance at the Olympics, and then over a decade later, she had somehow captured the attention and affections of Lena. Kara wasn’t accustomed to having the best of both worlds. The other shoe always dropped before she had it all, but maybe it doesn’t have to be like that this time.</p><p>Her aunt had told her that she wanted too much. Kara believed her. She wanted the medals and the glory, her own grand love story, to be the smartest in the room. It did seem to her that people rarely had everything they wanted. Whenever she felt the smallest flicker of happiness, Kara reigned it in—blowing out the whispering flame.</p><p>She reminded herself that while one part of her life was flourishing, she couldn’t be greedy. All the pieces to her ever-growing puzzle rarely came together. Yet, everything really was all falling into place. This time next year she would have a completed doctorate, hopefully she would be training with Cat, and maybe just maybe she could salvage the wreckage with Lena.</p><p>Lena casts a sideways glance at her, drawing Kara out of her preoccupied silence. Frankly, it’s somewhat telling that Lena is here at all. Kara has heard her claims that she was searching for properties to expand her family’s business to the west coast. She doubts very much that her work brought Lena to the outskirts of the city, miles away from the business district.</p><p>There are no detours, contrary to what Lena says that bring anyone that far from the city centre. The thought of Lena seeking her out fills the hollow sensation in her stomach with warmth. No one outside of her family has gone to these kinds of lengths for her, and it’s startling how much she <em>likes</em> it. It’s a feeling unlikes any she’s ever known.</p><p>Brimming with happiness, Kara begins to speak. She shares the story of her adventure with Lucy and the daunting feeling of stepping out onto the ice again, only for it to be replaced with elation. She answers all of Lena’s questions and queries succinctly. It’s the first time where she’s been able to process all that’s happened to her. If she forgets a detail, she goes back to the point in the story where she omitted it.</p><p>It’s fascinating to Lena to watch her like this. Kara is an expressive storyteller. She talks with her hands, quite vigorously, but it’s more than that. She uses all the tools available to her from her facial expressions to her voice. She suffuses it with emotion, telling Lena more with her tone than she ever could with words alone.</p><p>And Lena understands it, the unspoken grief, the buried anger, and the constant fear. On the outside, Kara pasted on a happy facade for the world to gush over, while in private, she mourned her losses. The story adds depth to the unfinished portrait of Kara.</p><p>“—fucked up and I knew it. I’ve been known to get myself into quite a few messes. It’s the getting out of them, I’ve struggled with. I thought about calling, but I was so tired. It was like there was a fog in my mind. I forgot about the outside world and stayed where it was safe.”</p><p>Ruminating silently over Kara’s words, Lena cranes her head, watching not the water or Kara but passerby. Couples walk along the boardwalk, hands clasped and swinging between them, laughing and pointing at the attractions. Young children weave in and out of their parents as they race each other. Teens of all ages cluster together in small groups, pretending to be above it all, though their eyes tell a different story. She sees the familiar hunger, the desire to go back when life was simpler.</p><p>It’s a well lit atmosphere, all the buildings glow brightly in the evening, and the lights strung above them add a bit of coziness to it.</p><p>Somehow coming back, feels special, or maybe it’s the company. When they came for Alex’s birthday, it wasn’t just them. Alex had invited half the soccer team. But this time, it’s her and Kara in a place that Kara holds dear.</p><p>“I was going to call when I had it a bit more together,” Kara says, breaking Lena from her reverie. “I figured it was better to plead forgiveness when it seemed like I was making an effort. When we met again in Maui, I was coming off a rough time. It was a lot of things. Some of it is my fault for not seeking help. I— er— won’t say I enjoyed that feeling, but I hadn’t known anything else in so long.”</p><p>“You were going to call?” Those are the only words that resonate with Lena. She hadn’t considered the possibility that Kara thought more of their together too.</p><p>“Yeah,” Kara says. “Not only to apologise either, I don’t know much about dating or relationships. My track record isn’t all that great…”</p><p>“Neither is mine,” Lena says. “I don’t want to go fast. I think neither of us prepared for that. But I don’t think it’ll take that long for us to get there.”</p><p>“You really believe in us?”</p><p>“I’ll be the Mulder to your Scully. If you can’t believe right now, then I’ll believe enough for the both of us.”</p><p>“I don’t know what that means,” Kara says, her eyes glimmering. “<em>But </em>if you’re saying you’re the Booth to my Bones…”</p><p>Lena flicks her shoulder. “You’re an ass. Do you know that?”</p><p>Kara grins with a shrug. “I’ve been told once or twice.”</p><p>“Mulder and Scully are clearly the superior duo. They crawled, so Bones and Booth could walk.” Lena shakes her head. “And I know for a fact that you have watched X-Files because you used to watch it with me and Alex.”</p><p>Kara feigns ignorance, smiling confusedly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You must be misremembering events.”</p><p>“Uh no, I wasn’t. You were the one asking about aliens. You were a little space weird even then.”</p><p>“I take offense to that.”</p><p>Lena shrugs, smiling coyly. “Go ahead.”</p><p>Kara laughs, the sound rich and ringing. She clutches her sides as she falls to the side, tears leaking from her eyes. “Y-you’re th-the w-worst,” she says between giggles.</p><p>“You’re silly. Now get up,” orders Lena.</p><p>“Do you want to get ice cream?”</p><p>“Depends,” Lena says cagily.</p><p>“On?”</p><p>“If you’re going to share or not.”</p><p>“Only if you do. As long as it’s nothing boring though Lena. Alex told me your favourite flavour is vanilla, and there’s nothing so offensive as that. It’s practically treasonous against all the flavours of ice cream to like the most bland one.”</p><p>Rolling her eyes, Lena clambers to her feet, holding out a hand for Kara.</p><p>Kara stares at her as if she’s unlike anything she’s ever seen, and accepts her hand after a few beats of awed silence. “You’re paying,” Kara says, right off the bat.</p><p>“What? Why?”</p><p>“I paid for dinner!”</p><p>“As you should! I flew all the way out here for you.”</p><p>“Hah! You admit it!” Kara points at her with her free hand, the other remains firmly entwined with Lena’s.</p><p>“You already knew,” Lena says.</p><p>“It’s nice to hear it. I guess I could pay for dessert too.”</p><p>“And I’ll pay next date.”</p><p>“The next one? You want to go on another one with me?”</p><p>“Yes you goober,” Lena laughs. “I think that’s <em>obvious </em>by now.” Some people might consider her insane for making such a decision, but Lena is ready to try something new.</p><p>“Okay,” Kara says happily. “I’ll make sure to order the most expensive items on the menu too. You are richer than me after all.”</p><p>“Ugh, why am I even with you? You’re such a menace.”</p><p>“Because you <em>like</em> me and you want to <em>kiss</em> me,” Kara says in a sing-song voice. “You think I’m pretty.”</p><p>“I also think you watch way too many movies.”</p><p>“Yeah well if you hangout with me long enough, you will too.”</p><p>“I could think of worse things than that.” And there are benefits to watching a move along. Her minds drifts to scenes of the future, the two of them seated on a couch together, their attentions some other than the movie, hands and lips moving in tandem, and Lena has no doubt, they’ll get there someday. Until then… “come on, I want ice cream.” She tugs Kara along, pulling her the direction of a shop they passed earlier. “Maybe you can explain your many, <em>many</em> playlists.”</p><p>“As long as you pick a flavour other than vanilla.”</p><p>“Deal,” Lena agrees.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>1 chapter left before the epilogue. There’ll be a lot resolved in the last chapter, but I thought it would be nice to keep it light for the moment. </p><p>Question: Personally, I don't think of myself as a romantic, but all of my friends think I am. What do you guys think?</p><p>Find me on <a href="https://moon-mia.tumblr.com">
    <em>tumblr</em></a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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